"You're late." Hinata's father stated sternly.
"Oh?"
"Or did you forget?"
"Hinata," Neji turned to her, "Your father sent me to find you this morning. I was supposed to escort you to the special clan gathering today and make sure you got there. Attendance for main branch members is required."
"S-sorry." Hinata looked at her feet.
"Neji. You may stay here, I'll take her myself." Her father stated.
"Let's go, Hinata!" Hanabi said grabbing her arm, "You don't want to miss the baby-shower for all the pregnant Hyuuga women in the ANBU now do you?"
Shikamaru blinked as he, Naruto, and Neji watched Hinata leave.
A few moments passed before something occurred to the blonde-haired genin.
"What about my PANTS?"
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Chapter 25 – "Countdown: 7 days"
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A little bit later that day:
Tenten pouted, resting her head in her hands—her elbows propped on the table of the little outdoor restaurant where she and Lee had just come upon Ino and Sakura.
Tenten sighed, while Ino looked quite pleased with herself, slurping down some sweet noodles.
The raven-haired kunoichi glanced around, rather bored now, she thought, since her playmate Lee had run off with another woman.
Her eyes narrowed and rested on Ino—eating like there's no tomorrow.
"That's gonna go straight to your ass, you know that right?"
Ino's eyes widened as she shot her fellow kunoichi a dirty look, but not before she swallowed her meal a little too quickly. When Ino took a breath in to say some witty comment back to Tenten—she began to choke.
Tenten didn't even notice Ino's unusual silence, because just then, Neji happened to walk by.
Spotting her teammate, Tenten immediately jumped from the seat and followed him, leaving Ino to cough her head off.
"Neji!" Tenten hollered.
"Hm?" Neji stopped, allowing her to catch up.
Neji watched as his teammate paused in front of him, catching her breath. The Hyuuga eyed her form carefully.
Tenten looked up at him and grinned, "Hi."
Neji crossed his arms, pretending to look up at the buildings and sky with interest.
"Lee's not around?" Neji said in a low voice.
Tenten's mind began to wander as she glanced at Neji's chest.
"Nope," She replied, perking up a bit. "Maybe scrawny and pale isn't so bad after all…" She thought.
"Want to… 'spar'?" Neji began slowly.
"Just you and me?" Tenten said, grinning playfully.
Neji nodded with a smirk.
"Let's get going then!"
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Shino was rounding the corner as he heard some odd commotion.
He walked a few steps further to see a certain blonde kunoichi doubled over on the ground, choking and coughing loudly.
"Somebody help her, she's dying!" were the panicked calls of a few bystanders.
Shino paused, thinking for a moment before going into action. He rushed over to Ino, helping her up into a sitting position.
Ino blinked at the stranger. "Please help me." She thought, "Please help me, please help me…oh god no. NO no NO! SHINO!"
Shino began releasing bugs from his body, and Ino began scooting away from him furiously.
He had to grasp her arms and basically sit on top of her—just long enough for the kindly bugs to do their work.
A high pitch squeal erupted that the entire village could hear the very moment that Shino's bugs dislodged the food from Ino's throat. And she didn't stop screaming until all of them were safely back into Shino's body.
Shino watched Ino gasp for breath before her breathing slowed and she began to calm down slightly.
Ino blinked and tried to get up, but Shino was still on top of her.
"Sorry." He quickly said, getting up.
The blonde dusted herself off and stared at his eyes. It felt strange to actually see them.
Then it hit her. "Y-you saved me." Ino said before turning her head slightly and sticking out her tongue, a shiver running through her.
"You seem very pale." Shino said plainly. "I shall walk you home."
"Huh? But I…"
Ino watched as the bug-filled genin offered his arm to her.
"I uh…" Ino mumbled in consideration, "I guess I do feel a little dizzy."
And so, Ino locked arms with Shino and let him take her home.
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The Next Day: DAY 2
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"KABUTO!" An angry voice boomed throughout the dank lair.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto answered, rushing to the Sannin's side.
"Where is Sasuke? The Sound four are taking far too long!" Orochimaru growled as blood dribbled from his bandaged arms down onto the bed where he lay.
"Perhaps they were intercepted," Kabuto pushed up his glasses, "Or they…defected."
"Impossible!" Orochimaru grunted angrily.
"Should I send out Kimimaro?"
"AH!" Orochimaru yelled out in pain, "Do it!"
"Kimimaro will be glad to hear it." Kabuto smirked, before heading to the room where-in was the fifth member of the Sound Four.
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DAY 3
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Tsunade re-read over the report that she had just been handed that morning. She glanced back at the words making sure she had not misread it. She then glanced up at those who had just brought her the report.
In front of her stood two female ANBU—their faces unreadable behind their animal masks. But, Tsunade could clearly see them fidgeting in a somewhat nervous manner and staring at the ceiling as though it had suddenly become very interesting.
Tsunade looked quite perplexed.
"ANBU! At attention!" She suddenly addressed.
"Hokage-sama?" They asked innocently.
"Is this true?" Tsunade asked them, holding up the papers, "It says here that you managed to find and kill four male Sound ninja?"
"Well, actually it was three—except for this one guy that was actually a two-in-one and—" One of the ANBU began before she was cut-off.
"But, why doesn't the report say HOW you killed them?" The Hokage asked.
The two ANBU paused and turned to look at each other before looking back at the Hokage.
"W-well…we don't really know how they died…" One began.
"They just sort of…did." The other finished, both of them shrugging their shoulders.
Tsunade stared at them, raising an eyebrow. At that moment, Shizune opened the door to Tsunade's office and walked in.
"Ah, Shizune! Do you have the autopsy report on the Sound shinobi?"
Shizune blinked, "Er…y-yes, Hokage-sama."
"Well," Tsunade clapped her hands together in anticipation, "What was the cause of death?"
Shizune paused for a second, staring at the two ANBU.
"…erotic asphyxiation."
"…"
"…"
Tsunade slowly blinked, letting that sink in. "Uh…huh."
"Moving along," Tsunade said, quickly changing the line of discussion, "it says that 2 unidentified persons escaped?"
"Y-yes, Hokage-sama!" One of the ANBU replied quickly, "We found a woman with red-ish hair and a man dressed in black with an orange mask."
"A woman with red-ish hair and no clothes on…according to this report." Tsunade said, re-reading a paragraph or two.
"Yes, she was completely naked." The ANBU continued.
"But we did find her clothes nearby which identified her as from the Sound." The other ANBU interjected. "We don't know where the guy was from though."
Tsunade tapped her fingers on the table in thought for a few moments.
"Gather together a few of yourselves into squads and go looking for the two." Tsunade stated, "It shouldn't be that hard to track down a stark naked woman on the run and a man in a neon-orange mask."
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DAY 4
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Either the ANBU had really slacked off, or Tayuya was really good at hiding—because neither she nor Tobi had been found.
Kakashi had not even stepped outside since Shizune had washed off his painted mask, but at the request of the Hokage he was asked to aid in the hunt for the intruders.
The Copy-nin stood at the exit of the village, looking around to see if there were any signs that the unidentified shinobi had already left.
Finding nothing, he prepared to summon his dogs.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Kakashi yelled, putting his hand to the ground.
A large puff of smoke appeared, but when it cleared—
"Pakkun!" Kakashi exclaimed. He sweat-dropped as he looked at the Ninken.
Pakkun was currently attached to another one of the dogs—that happened to be a female. In fact, most of the dogs were very busy. There was much howling and gnashing of teeth going on.
Kakashi crossed his arms, looking down on them.
"Don't make me use my wide array of Water Jutsu on you all!" Kakashi said in a somewhat threatening manner.
"Sorry, Kakashi," Pakkun groaned, "But I'm a bit stuck. Can't you give us a moment, here?"
"I… suppose." Kakashi said, turning around and whipping out the new red Icha Icha book that he had picked up at the adult book store—to read in order to pass the time.
"By the way, Kakashi," Pakkun commented, "What happened to your shirt?"
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"Mate." Shikamaru said plainly as he sat another piece on the shogi board.
He waited, staring at the game for a few moments before standing up and moving to sitting across from where he was.
"Hn." He mumbled in deep thought, analyzing the move he had just made against himself.
A bunch of hurried footsteps interrupted his train of thought.
Shikamaru looked over just in time to see a nude woman run past.
He blinked, staring out in the same direction.
"Did I fall asleep?" Shikamaru asked himself, poking at his cheek.
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DAY 5
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It was nightfall, and Kimimaro was making his way through the woods that were not that far off from Konoha itself. His face held a vacant expression that was vaguely displeased. He was very disappointed in the Sound Four and their failure to show up on time with Sasuke.
Suddenly, as Kimimaro walked down the path, a shadowy figure darted across the way ahead of him.
With his quick reflexes he managed to jump in front of them, cutting the person off from the bushes.
Kimimaro's eyes took in the curves of the figure halted a few feet in front of him—highlighted by the moonlight.
It was Tayuya. And she was still naked.
The white-haired Sound shinobi stared at her legs, before letting his eyes linger at her breasts, and then gazing into her aggressive eyes.
Kimimaro paused.
"I'm afraid I'll have to bone you." He finally said.
"…" Tayuya blinked then replied slyly, "Really?"
"Oh," Kimimaro said, pulling out one of his bones into a sharp spear, "I think you misunderstand me…I'm going to kill you."
She frowned. "Well, shit."
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DAY 6
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Kakashi was walking around, waiting for his dogs to report back to him with any information when a small girl walked up to him and pointed at his face.
"The ugly! It burns!" She wailed before running off.
Kakashi scratched his head in thought. "Does it really look that bad?"
Since he couldn't have his mask, couldn't have his face paint, couldn't and wouldn't want to get something as permanent as a tattoo, he did the only thing left to cover his face that he could think of:
Over a week ago, he stopped shaving and just let the hair on his face grow and grow.
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DAY 7
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It was the end of the first week of the second month of Tsunade's three month plan. It was the end of an entire week of the male ninjas of Konoha being forced to run around without their shirts on. And it was time, once again for some major tests, and some major changes. But first, the Hokage had a scheduled appointment of a different kind to attend to:
Tsunade looked up from her desk as the three Sand shinobi filed into her office.
"Temari, Kankuro, Gaara," The Hokage addressed them, "This letter was received today by hawk from your village."
Tsunade handed the scroll out, which was taken by Temari and unfurled.
The blonde, Sand kunoichi brought the message over to Gaara and Kankuro where they could read along with her:
"To: Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro:
This message is to inform you of some important decisions made by the council while you have been gone.
1) We have seen the plan that the Hokage has implemented to shore up her people's numbers and we applaud her great wisdom.
2) We think it's such a great idea that we have begun similar measures here at home.
3) Temari, we wish you pregnancy and many healthy children.
4) Gaara, Kankuro, please bring back some wives bursting with children.
With this, we can help restore the Sand Village to its former glory.
I wish you three luck,
—Baki"
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After the Sand Siblings had left—befuzzled looks upon their faces, Shizune walked in.
"Shizune!" Tsunade called out to her assistant, "How goes the testing this morning?"
"Well, Hokage-sama," Shizune began, reading over the report, "Once again, we've got several medical-nin's from the Hyuuga clan checking over each woman to see if they are with child."
"Do we have any percentages yet?" Tsunade asked with great interest.
Shizune showed off a nervous smile, "T-twenty…percent."
"Only TWENTY?" The Hokage exclaimed.
"Well, not everyone's reported in yet…At least it's better than three percent…"
Tsunade sighed, "Call a meeting. ALL the nin—male AND female. In my office. NOW."
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About an hour later, all the Konoha shinobi found themselves squished all together in the Hokage's office. Many of them had not seen each other in quite awhile. Kakashi was getting some odd stares, but not as many as Gai—somebody had finally managed to get him into some clothing, though unfortunately it was a thong.
Asuma and Kurenai were locked arm in arm.
Hinata was carefully watching Naruto.
Sasuke was mysteriously absent.
Neji's hair somehow got filled with beads and other trinkets once again.
Iruka was looking worse for wear. He lost his hair-tie, among other things, and now his locks fell all around his face.
Anko smiled at him, winking—she knew where he was now.
Shikamaru was relating the tale of the nude woman he saw in a 'dream' to Chouji. Chouji nearly dropped his chips.
And Sakura looked at Lee a little more fondly.
"You know the drill by now," Tsunade announced, "I'm sure you girls haven't forgotten. For the men—who weren't told for the sake of surprise—starting tomorrow, no woman can wear modest clothing. You girls get a choice between a covering of completely see-through fish net, bikini tops and bottoms or even just going about your business in your underpants—your choice."
There was a rise of excited voices among the men but even that was eclipsed by non-other than Jiraiya's loud whistling.
"Take it off!" Jiraiya yelled at Tsunade.
Tsunade narrowed her eyes.
"What about you, Hokage-sama?" Aoba asked.
Tsunade laughed, "All ladies over 50 are exempt. Nobody wants to see that."
"I DO!" Jiraiya pouted.
Tsunade shot Jiraiya a dirty look for a moment.
"Moving along," She said, "Since this process isn't going as fast as I'd like, I'm also adding a few 'BONUS' measures—I guess you could call them."
There were some nervous gulps among the nin in the audience.
"First off, let me remind you that just because the week is over, it doesn't mean that the men get to put their shirts back on. That is STILL in effect." Tsunade began.
"Secondly, the wall in the bathhouse separating the men and women's sections will be taken down."
"YAY!" Jiraiya squealed.
"And, finally, free sake will be available every night this week, plus I'm temporarily stripping away the drinking age. Now any shinobi or kunoichi, genin or above that is able to present their Leaf-Headband at the bars may have as much alcohol as they can drink."
"YOSH!" Lee exclaimed in excitement, thrusting his fists into the air.
"Whoo! Hoo! Alcohol!" Kiba yelled, elbowing the nearby Shino with excitement. Shino remained emotionless.
Gai, Neji, and Tenten simultaneously gulped as they watched Lee bounce around.
This wouldn't end well.
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To Be Continued
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Review Please!
Next chapters: Bwa haha.
Please Review!
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Note: If you have not seen them already: 2 new fanarts on profile—one of Tobi and Tayuya, and one of Kakashi Anko and Iruka from ch. 9.
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