Disclaimer – I do not own M7 and if I did the series would still be going.
Chris is overcome with grief and he may not get to enjoy the bbq at all.
Reviews are great so please please can I have some more.
The Pain of Paperwork.
Chris finally signed off on the last of the expense reports he stood up and stretched and looked at the time, he did not think it was worth him going home to have to drive back in a couple of hours. Chris had a spare set of clothes in the office and he may as well just try and get some sleep here.
Chris got a blanket out the cupboard in his office and he locked his office door turning off the main light, the blond tiredly climbed onto the couch. Chris felt shattered but his mind was still active, he also knew that he should actually try to eat something in the morning, as he had struggled with no appetite all day. Trying to relax Chris began some depth breathing exercises, soon his eyes grew heavy and the blond settled into sleep.
"Christopher Larabee, you come here right now." Sarah's voice rang through Chris's mind.
"Coming honey." Chris responded as he ran towards the house a large smile on his face as he thought of his beautiful wife waiting for him.
"Chris hurry."
Chris ran faster towards the house, but he did not seem to be getting any closer to reaching his destination.
"Hurry Chris please."
"I'm trying Sarah." Chris gasped as he forced his legs to move faster, but still his house became smaller in the distance.
"Chris!"
"Wait Sarah." Chris lungs where burning and his legs felt heavy, as Sarah's calls became more desperate.
"Chris hurry the fire it's getting closer."
"No!" Chrs screamed hitting the floor with a bang Chris struggled to get lose from the restriction holding him in place. Chris stopped struggling as he realised that he was still in his office, on the floor his lower half wrapped in a blanket.
"Damn nightmares." Chris grunted as he got up, he looked at his watch and saw that he had only been sleeping for about three hours, Chris new that this was not a good thing. Three hours seemed to be the average amount of sleep he had been getting in the last few days and he just felt shattered and Chris really wanted a decent nights sleep. Maybe at the weekend he would be able to unwind and relax enough to avoid the nightmares.
Chris decided that he would not be able to get anymore sleep, so he went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, getting naked Chris looked down at himself and noted that he had already lost some weight with not eating properly, Sarah always complained about his appetite and the fact that he could not seem to keep any weight on his lean well muscled frame. Shrugging Chris pushed the thought of food to the back of his mind, as the hot spray hit him, Chris felt himself relax for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
When Josiah arrived at the office that morning he could see that Chris was already in his office, the heavy set profiler thought that he would go and see if the hardworking blond would like a cup of coffee and one of the pastries that Josiah had brought in with him. Knocking on the door, Josiah entered the office; Chris looked up from his computer and smiled at the other man.
"Would you like a fresh coffee and a pastry Chris?" Josiah offered heading towards the coffee cup on the desk.
"Just the coffee thanks Josiah." Chris still did not feel hungry, but he felt very satisfied as he had sent the file containing the expense report to Spikes and he also intended to take a paper copy upstairs and give it to Margret to give to the man.
"Are you sure?" Josiah had noticed how little the other man had been eating and even eating something as unhealthy as a pastry was better than nothing.
Chris shook his head and smiled at Josiah noting the mans concerned expression.
"Coffee is fine." Chris headed to the printer and waited for the report to print off, he watched as his men arrived with Ezra, JD and Vin looking tired from helping with surveillance for Team 1, which had now finished, coming in together.
"You guys ok?" Chris asked.
Yawning JD nodded, Ezra sat tiredly in his chair, and Vin sprawled on his chair in a relaxed pose.
"I am fine Mr Larabee thank you for your concern." Ezra hid his yawn behind his hand. "Pardon me."
"I'm good Cowboy." Vin put his feet up on his desk.
"Why don't you guys go home get some rest and write up your reports on Monday." Chris offered.
"Nah I wanna get it done." Vin started to pound on his keyboard as he started his report.
"An excellent recommendation, but alas I also wish to facilitate the completion of my report." Ezra started to type rapidly.
"I'm good to go Chris." JD had popped open the tab on a caffeine loaded drink and was guzzling the contents.
"OK but the offer still stands." Chris went to the binding machine and bound his report and then went to deliver it.
Walking up to Margret, Chris smiled at the matronly woman.
"Good morning Margret, could you make sure Spikes gets this." Chris handed her the report. "How are the grandkids doing?"
Margret proceeded to tell Chris all about the exploits of her numerous grandchildren, the blond man listened intently and smiled at the antics the kids got up to. Margret smiled at the man who sat on the edge of her desk. She knew about Chris losing his family and she felt horrible for him as she thought that he would have made a lovely father, contrary to popular opinion she knew the man behind the brooding exterior was really gentle and compassionate. Margret had seen evidence of this when Mary Travis brought her son to the office to see his grandfather, as Billy Travis always wanted to go down to the Team 7 office to see his hero Chris Larabee, and she had seen the wooden horse that the green eyed man had made for the youngster that really left the young boys side.
"Thanks Margret have a good weekend." Chris made his way back to his office, sitting in his chair he noted that his email with the report attached had been opened by Spikes, so there was no way the other man could claim that he had not received it.
Chris continued working and just before five o'clock he received an email from Jessica the training officer with his travel and accommodation arrangements and an outline of the classes that he would be attending.
"For crying out loud." Chris spat as he saw the schedule outlined for him, just great he thought Spikes was trying to wear him out by not giving him any free time at all and he wanted a report every morning as well, well he could handle it, there was no way that he would give the other man the satisfaction of doing badly or complaining. He would just have to check that the information regarding his accommodation and flights etc was accurate as he did not trust the information he had been given, and with the way Spikes had been acting with him he did not want anything to go wrong.
After some research Chris now had the full picture of the situation Spikes intended to drop him in regarding travelling and staying in Miami and Chris was not happy, but he would leave arrangements as they where so as not to alert Spikes that he knew what the man had been planning. Grinning to himself Chris a short time later the blond had finalised his own travel and accommodation arrangements and he was much happier, he had decided that he had had enough for the day in fact for the whole week and he was going home to enjoy the weekend, he was especially looking forward to the bbq on Sunday.
Chris arrived home and got changed and he decided to go outside and spend some time with Pony and the rest of the horses. After a couple of hours of brushing down the various occupants of the different stalls, Chris felt relaxed and slightly hungry which was in his opinion a positive thing, giving Steel a last rub on the nose, Chris shut up the barn for the night and made his way inside.
Puttering around the kitchen, Chris made himself a ham and cheese sandwich, munching it happily Chris plonked himself on the large couch and turned on his television, flicking through the channels the relaxed blond settled on an action movie.
"Christopher Larabee I love you." Sarah looked up lovingly at her husband.
"I love you too Sarah Louise Larabee." Chris hugged his wife closer.
"I loves you too Daddy and Mummy." Adam pulled on Chris's jean clad leg.
"Daddy loves you more than all the stars in the sky Adam." Chris picked up the fair haired boy.
"Is that lots and lots Daddy?" Adam snuggled trustingly in the strong arms that held him.
"Yes Adam it is. Daddy loves you more than life itself." Chris kissed his son's head as he tightens his hold on his smiling wife.
"Then why did you let us die." Adam's burned and grotesque face starred up at him.
Gasping Chris sat up he raced to the kitchen sink and the sandwich he had so enjoyed earlier reappeared, heaving the blonde struggled not to howl in pain and rage. He did not understand why these nightmares kept happening, usually the nightmares only got this bad around the anniversaries marking the bombing as well as Adam and Sarah's birthdays and Christmas.
Chris went back into the living room and headed straight for the liquor cabinet, opening a bottle of whiskey he poured himself a healthy measure downing it in one gulp, Chris refilled the glass, and taking the bottle with him he sat again on the couch. Chris kept refilling the glass and he lost count of how many times he did it, until the glass tumbled from his hand to smash on the floor as the grief stricken man allowed the sobs to erupt from his throat. Keening Chris began to rock back and forward as tears streamed from his eyes, his fists clenched tightly as the harsh sobs showed no signs of stopping.
Jumping up the keening noise turned to roars and shouting as the grief turned to rage and Chris began to throw and attack anything he could lay his hands on, the whiskey bottle shattered against the wall as the enraged man overturned the coffee table, the recliner suffered the same fate as it was kicked in hatred. Chris punched the wall in his frustration as his rage continued to rise, he did not feel the pain from his abused hand, turning suddenly the drunken man saw his own reflection, lashing out in tormented grief Chris hit the mirror as hard as he could shattering it into what seemed like a thousand pieces. Falling to his knees the now exhausted man continued to sob, now cradling his bloody hand to his chest, Chris rocked himself back and forth, unconcerned with the pieces of the broken mirror he was kneeling in.
Buck whistled as he parked in front of the apartment building that his Texan teammate lived in, Buck tapped the steering wheel as he watched the door open and Vin strolled over to him, getting in the car, Vin went to turn on the radio station over.
"Hey I'm listening to that." Buck complained grumbling as Vin tuned the radio into an easy listening station.
"Do you think Chris will want to come riding with us?" Vin asked, looking over his shoulder and smirking at the other passenger in the car who was sleeping like a baby.
"Maybe. He needs to take some time to relax." Buck answered and pulled into the early morning traffic heading towards the Larabee ranch.
The two men kept up there conversation as the third occupant of the car stayed in dreamland. Pulling up infront of the ranch house, the two men exited the car, Buck stuck his head back in and called out quite loudly.
"Rise and shine JD where here."
JD eyes flew open and he hurried out of the car bouncing next to Buck the three men headed into the house.
Vin stopped in shock at the state the front room was in, looking at the overturned furniture and smashed glass, Vin turned to Buck and JD.
"Christ what the hell happened here." Vin went further into the room.
Buck suddenly noticed the blood near what looked like the remains of the large mirror which used to hang on the wall. Buck followed the trail of blood, dreading what he would find at the end of it, the lanky ladies man knew that the devastation had been caused by his best friend as he had seen it happen before although not for some time.
Opening the master bedroom door, Buck entered the dark room flicking on the light he saw the bed was empty and the trail headed to the ensuite bathroom. JD and Vin silently followed close behind, Buck opened the door and turned on the light an inhumane growl came from the figure huddled in the corner.
"Oh Chris."