Ch. 6: Strained
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
So give me reason, to prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
~New Divide by Linkin Park
I limped home a few days later, sighing and wiping the hair from my face, my rucksack hanging loosely from my back. Dragging the body of Izzy and his dragon home was fine, it was keeping Selena contained when she had woken up that had given me this limp.
I stumbled into the house and sighed, looking around at the quiet atmosphere. Elena should have been home from school by now, so it was surprising it was quiet.
"Dad? Elena?" I called out weakly, "It's me, I'm home."
My dad emerged from the twins' room, wearing an apron and a relieved look on his face.
"I've just been listening to the radio," he gasped, "They're all buzzing about the ambush in Baja…"
"I'm fine," I whispered, "We didn't get any casualties on our side but Richard is going to be out for a couple of weeks."
My father grasped my arm and looked at me anxiously, "You were careful?"
I thought of my almost drowning experience, "Yes, dad."
He nodded, "Good. Go upstairs. Neville's been sitting in your fire for twenty-four hours. He slept there."
"You're kidding," I whispered anxiously, "Did he see the…"
"No," my dad paused, "Elena's been really good with them. But he heard on the 'wireless,' as he says, about Baja and…"
I sprinted up the steps and threw open the door to my room, wincing as I realized I wasn't in any condition to be running on my legs. Neville was halfway out of the fire, his arms lying against the ground and his fingers drumming on the carpet. He looked up at my entrance and I stumbled forward into his arms. He climbed even more out of the fire, not even wanting to care anymore I suppose, and held me partially against him. Half of his torso was out of the fire and it was close enough to make me much happier than I had been.
"Oh God…" Neville moaned, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Maggie…"
"I'm fine," I answered weakly, unable to insert a chuckle of reassurance, "I'm fine."
"No you're not! You limped in here!" he cried, "What happened?'
"Selena woke up and tried to escape when we brought her back to DC," I paused, "We managed to contain her though."
"And she hurt you!" Neville growled loudly.
"It's OK, really," I insisted.
"NO!" Neville roared, "It's not OK! Do you realize how terrified I've been! On the wireless yesterday, I'm just listening to the news because Kingsley was having some trouble with some idiotic recently-graduated Slytherin's trying to be the Neo-Death-Eaters and crap, and suddenly 'THIS JUST IN,' and it's Lee and he sounds scared, and Lee never sounds scared, and he goes on…"
"Neville," I tried to interject but he ignored me.
"To say, 'As many know, there is a current violent uprising in the States within the ranks of those known as the 'dragon riders,' which obviously peaked my attention because I know about that, 'Called the Unionists. Currently, a small squad of fighters of the official, peace-keeping UDRA- United Dragon Rider's Association- has been sent down to Baja California in Mexico to deal with a group of Unionists there. Now, the only reason we are reporting this here is because a veteran of the recent War against Voldemort, Maggie Johnson, is in that group from the UDRA. Furthermore, we have received reports that the group from the UDRA has been ambushed,'" Neville sobbed, "Ambushed. Ambushed. Ambushed. I HATE THAT WORD MAGGIE!," his head hit my lap and he sobbed into it, his entire body shaking.
"Nev," I whispered, but my own voice was breaking.
"'The group from the UDRA has been ambushed by the Unionist faction and casualties have been sustained on both sides. We all anxiously wait here at the headquarters of Potterwatch to hear of further details.' And almost immediately afterwards, when I'm just trying to digest this information, everyone's calling me on my muggle phone or through the floo, asking how you are, if I'd heard anything, and I knew nothing. NOTHING! Everyone was terrified and freaking out and I was supposed to be the strong one when all I wanted to do was apparate to America and find you, no matter how many people I'd have to kill or get through to get to you! Maggie," he sobbed, holding tightly to my shoulders.
"I'm fine," I tried to insist.
"No!" he shouted again, "You're not, stop trying to protect me! I don't care anymore about that, Maggie. I won't come through, I promise, and who gives a shit if I do? YOUR PRESIDENT DIDN'T SAY THERE'D BE A WAR!" he screamed.
"I know," I sobbed, wishing I could calm him down.
"HE SAID THERE'D BE FOUR YEARS OF YOU SERVING YOUR COUNTRY AND THEN WE'D BE BACK TOGETHER, NOT THAT IN THOSE FOUR YEARS YOU WOULD HAVE EVERY CHANCE OF GETTING KILLED!" Neville shouted.
"He couldn't have foreseen this, Nev!" I cried.
"IF I HAD KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN, I WOULD HAVE FOUGHT HARDER!" Neville roared, "I WOULD HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD TO KEEP YOU FROM GOING BACK TO AMERICA! WHO GIVES A CRAP IF I COME THROUGH, YOU COULD DIE! DON'T THEY GET THAT I CAN DIE TOO? THAT IF YOU DIE THAILUS DIES AND EMRALDA DIES AND I DIE WITHOUT EVER SEEING YOU AGAIN?" Neville finally broke into sobs, his head on my shoulder, his body shaking.
I had started sobbing too, but that wasn't as much because of what Neville had said- the reality of what he was saying had sunk in the night we came across the Unionists- but over Seth, Nikki, and their nameless dragons, whom I had killed, on accident.
All with one blast of energy.
Neville pulled back and looked at me, shocked, as I curled up on the floor in a fetal position and continued to sob. His mouth opened slightly and his expression changed from fury and fear to compassion and love.
"Mags?" he whispered, "Maggie?"
I continued to sob, all the anxiety flowing out, from realizing I could never see Neville again to Nikki's dead and young body to Selena almost dying over Lake Michigan, fighting so hard to be free- and to be with Elphias- that she was willing to do anything to get away, even use an Unforgiveable on Pill…
"Margaret?" he whispered again, using my full name, which he hardly ever did, "Sweetheart?"
I sat up, still shaking with sobs, and fell on his half-out body, holding to him tightly and for dear life.
"I-I-I-I…" I stammered, "I…"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so mad just then," Neville whispered.
I shook my head, "N-No… I'm j-j-just… Shocked…"
"Why? What happened, love?" he murmured soothingly, holding me to him and now completely halfway out of the fire.
"I… I… I…" I swallowed, "I realized just how terrible and inconvenient this whole mating thing is."
Neville looked at me in shock, "R-Really?"
"Not because of us," I whispered, "I'm talking in general, though that means it applies to us. I don't regret loving you, stop giving me that face, I'd give up the world for you," I snapped at Neville's heartbroken face.
"Sorry," he mumbled and I nuzzled him gently.
"I hate that face, it makes me feel like I'm not loving you properly," I took a deep breath, "I swear to God, I wouldn't be able to live without you without this stupid mating thing."
"I know," he muttered.
"What's wrong, then?" I snapped angrily, "I'm enough of a wreck without you making me feel terrible."
Neville looked at me, shocked, before whispering, "S-Sorry."
I sighed and rubbed my forehead wearily, everything crashing down on me at once, "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't've… I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just really… really tired and really… really emotional…"
He nodded again, and took a deep breath as if to pull himself together, and whispered, "Start over?"
I agreed with a small incline of the head before kissing his lips softly. He mumbled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me tightly, holding me to him.
"I realized how terrible it is, the dying due to the mate dying bit," I continued softly, "I… I didn't mean to, Nev… He was attacking me and I needed to defend myself and it was instinctual… I was fighting this guy, and he was obviously a rider and had a mate who was there… and I blasted him back from me with hand magic and he was still holding onto me so he dragged me with him and he fell into the sea and he was unconscious from the magic and he drowned and because of that his dragon died and his mate died and his mate's dragon died and I didn't even mean to kill him!" I sobbed, "I killed four people, none of whom I wanted to kill, simply capture, with one accidental bit of magic! How… How… I… I feel so… I am so… so… awful I…"
Neville held me to him even tighter as I sobbed into his chest, gripping his shirtfront like a lifeline.
"You are not awful," Neville murmured soothingly, "You are a wonderful, wonderful person and it was an accident. I'm so sorry you had to go through that… Sweetheart…"
I sobbed harder, "I am awful… I would leave here, right now, and be with you if I didn't… If I wasn't… Neville!" I screamed slightly, holding harder, "Neville…"
"Breathe," he urged, "Just breathe for now."
"I don't know how I'm supposed to keep doing this!" I cried, "How, Neville? How? If this was the beginning, and a weaker force, how am I supposed to keep going out there, fighting, fighting bigger and more dangerous forces, without having you by my side?"
He kissed my forehead but kept his lips there for a long while as my sobs quieted and I stopped shaking.
"You," he finally murmured when I pulled away from him and wiped off my eyes, "Are the strongest person I've ever met in all my days. Stronger than Harry or Ron or Hermione."
"That's a lie," I laughed weakly, "Harry Potter is a fricking badass."
"Be that as it may," Neville paused, "You are exceptionally strong, brave, and perseverant. I know that, out of all the people in the world I know, you will be able to pull through this."
I nodded and sniffled slightly as he reached out and gently stroked my cheek and caressed the side of my head. I sighed under his touch and closed my eyes.
"Just be careful," Neville murmured softly in my ear, "Don't go resorting to heroics every chance you get."
I laughed quietly, "OK."
He kissed me on the lips exceedingly softly and I nestled my head in the crook of his neck.
"Mind if Seamus comes through? We managed to fit two people in here yesterday when we were both freaking out and trying to get info out of your dad," Neville laughed quietly, "Is Kylie OK?"
"Kylie's fine," I paused, "And sure."
Neville nodded and his head turned, though half of his body was still out of the fire, and I could dimly hear him shout "SEAMUS!" Suddenly, another head popped through the fire.
"MAGGIE!" he sighed, breathing with visible relief, "Oh thank God. How are you?"
"Shaken," I paused, "But alive."
He nodded, "And my worthless cousin?"
"Fine," I reassured, "She went home to relax."
Seamus breathed with relief, "Good. I wish I could talk longer, but I have a date with Lavender and if I'm not on time she'll kill me."
Seamus' face had contorted into a clear grimace and I laughed quietly, "Having love troubles?"
"The girl's driving me mental!" Seamus shouted, "Yesterday, we didn't even have a date, but when I stayed here with Neville to await news of you guys she got all jealous! First off, you and Neville aren't even a question, why the hell would she be jealous, second off, I'm worried about my bleedin' cousin!"
"I know, mate," Neville sighed, "You should just ditch her."
"I'm thinking about it, the feelings are definitely ebbing away," Seamus grimaced, "See you lot."
I waved and gave him a slight hug and he left. I turned to Neville, who had buried his face in my hair.
"I have to go be with my family," I murmured, "But I'll floo you soon."
"OK," he sighed, "Next time you have an assignment, is there a chance you'll have access to a floo?"
"I'll ask for it," I paused, "This was pretty awful. Maybe we'll be lucky. I love you," I felt tears pour out of my eyes again, "I really, really love you."
He kissed me and kissed the tears from my cheeks, "I love you too, more than you can possibly imagine. Go. Be with your family."
Our family, I thought sadly as I kissed his lips and watched him disappear in a whirl of flames. I stood up and walked into the twins' room, where Elena ran forward and hugged me tightly.
"I was so afraid!" she sobbed, "I didn't want to lose my sister!"
"I know," I whispered, "I know. Thank you for helping dad with the twins."
"Anything," she murmured, "If it came out that you had died I was immediately going to tell Neville about them, but it's good I didn't. They're fine, they have no idea that anything was wrong," she lead me over to Nate, who was playing with a muggle music toy, and Alice, who was rolling a ball away from her and bringing it back with magic, giggling loudly.
"How'd you keep their existence secret at all?" I asked, laughing slightly.
"Silencing charm," Elena paused, "You forget I'm of age now."
"Right," I grinned a little, "Well, I'm glad it all worked out. Thanks so much again."
"No problem," Elena smiled slightly, "Just be careful."
The next few weeks were quiet ones, allowing my partner to rest up and rehabilitate himself. I often found myself sitting with the twins in my lap, telling them stories of their father and of Britain, ignoring the outside world. When it had been a month, and was now the heat of summer, we got our next assignment.
"You'll be with your group in northernmost Washington State, southernmost British Columbia," Miss Olson explained, passing out papers to all of us, "There is a cabin there with enough space for you all, so it'll be a long term stay."
"How long, and what are we doing?" Ezra asked glumly. None of us were eager to get back out into the field.
"You will be stopping the transfer of Unionists across that very weak border from Canada to the US and vice-versa," Miss Olson paused, "In Canada they aren't being very strict about the Unionists but their groups aren't trying to abduct new subjects and they don't believe in killing muggles, so they don't want any of our faction. Furthermore, the ones that are coming down from Canada are simply adding to the total and they tend to be the violent ones, because Canada does come down hard on those. And that is the weakest portion of the boarder, especially where dragons are concerned, so we need someone to stop transfers."
"And we'll be there indefinitely?" Richard asked glumly.
"Until the problem stops," Miss Olson paused, "Canada is working on closing up the border more firmly, because they really don't want any of our Unionists- even their Unionists- but that could take years."
"Will the Floo network be connected to the cabin?" Kylie asked softly, looking at me from the corner of her eye.
"Yes," Miss Olson looked directly at me, "As much and wherever you want, since this will be a long stay."
"Will we get any vacations?" Pill asked, completely oblivious of my visible relief or that Kylie had gently patted my shoulder.
"On quiet days, you may leave via the floo network to visit your family or go out, but only a few people at a time- there needs to be at least three at the cabin at one time- and only for a little while. We will not be monitoring that floo network though, just in case our monitoring systems are under watch. This is all very, very secret," Miss Olson paused.
"You won't be monitoring it?" I asked in amazement, "You think you're under watch?"
"We know we are," Miss Olson paused, "There is a Unionist inside the UDRA, we know that much. Unfortunately, we cannot pin it on any one person."
My mind flickered briefly back to Gerald, before insisting, no, he would NEVER do that…
"You all shall leave in a week. Pack your possessions, say your goodbyes. Your families and homes will be give the best protection short of a Fidelius Charm, but we don't want to have to resort to that yet," Miss Olson waved us off.
It goes without saying that Neville and my father and my sister were all in much more favor of this state of affairs than the last one, though the amount of time I would be away from my children was worrying. Unfortunately, no mention of this could be made, as the only people outside of Elena, my Dad, the instructors at the Academy, the healer, and Kylie who even knew their existence were Dr. Tennys and Miss Olson, and we wanted to keep it that way, because it put them out of risk.
The cabin, once we reached it flying atop our dragons, was small and simple. There were two bedrooms for three people each (a twin bed and bunk beds, night stands, a dresser, and a desk,) a kitchen, a living room which had a fire place, and two bathrooms. The walls were made of logs and the windows were very simple and small. After throwing my crap on the top bunk in the designated girl's room, I turned to Kylie.
"I'm going to go call Neville, if that's alright… I promised him I would," I sighed. She nodded and I walked off, hearing Leslie ask, "Who's Neville?"
Realization hit me with the force of twenty Hagrids. I hadn't told many people of Neville, either.
Well, they were going to find out now, I thought gloomily. He was safer than the twins, being in the UK, and I couldn't not floo him.
I went up to the fireplace and threw a pinch of floo powder into the fire, calling out his address. The flames whirled around me and I found myself staring at the living room, where Seamus and Lavender were standing in the middle. Neville was nowhere to be seen.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SICK OF IT?" Lavender screamed. I felt my eyes widen.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?" Seamus roared. He turned and jumped when he saw me.
"DON'T TALK TO HER NOW, YOU'RE TALKING TO ME! YOUR GIRLFRIEND! REMEMBER THAT?" Lavender screeched in response.
"I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GOING TO BE THAT WAY MUCH LONGER!" Seamus snarled. I swallowed and tried to get out of the fire.
"Neville's in his room," Seamus muttered. I nodded and pulled my head out in amazement, coughing slightly from the soot.
I shouted the address again, but adding on 'Neville's Room!', only to see his own head pop through my fireplace.
"Sorry about that, love," Neville paused, "I think they've finally reached the breaking point. Anyway, Seamus came in to tell me you had called, so I did 'recent floo location'- it's a really brilliant thing they've come up with based on how muggles can find out the number that just called them."
"Gotcha," I smiled slightly, "Well, next time, all you have to do is 'The Log Cabin, Washington, USA.'"
"Excellent," Neville grinned and kissed my cheek.
"What happened to make them like this?" I asked curiously.
"Seamus said something about you," Neville rolled his eyes, "She is hypersensitive to you now even though she knows you're the last person to worry about, and Seamus freaked out, saying it wasn't any of her business if he wanted to talk to you, and if you were friends. And then he said something I'm just going to ignore."
"What?" I asked curiously.
"It doesn't matter, you chose me," Neville murmured softly. I kissed him and he sighed beneath it.
"You're right, but I can tell you're still worried," I smiled cheekily.
"Well… they were arguing and he finally shouted out, 'AND I NEVER BLEEDIN' STOPPED LOVIN' HER! I MIGHT HAVE FALLEN FOR YOU, I MIGHT REALIZE SHE'LL NEVER LOVE ME, BUT I'LL ALWAYS BLEEDIN' LOVE MAGGIE JOHNSON AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT OR EVEN EQUAL IT,'" Neville blushed furiously, "I'm going to ignore the fact that he said that."
I felt my jaw drop slightly, "You're kidding."
"No," Neville paused, "Don't tell him I told you, either."
"Never," I kissed him again, "What would there be to gain? I hope he can… get over it, though…"
"Me too," Neville sighed, "I don't really begrudge him his feelings anymore, what point would there be, but… the fact that he hasn't gotten over it yet…"
"Is worrying," I agreed, "Take him out to meet someone tonight, like at a muggle pub, please. I won't be able to live with myself if I put him through that… or anyone."
"Hopefully you won't be attracting the affections of anyone else," Neville grinned cheekily, "Though how could I ever blame anyone for falling in love with you?"
"You really can't," I laughed, kissing him, "Don't worry, the bond between us is magically based and unbreakable."
"Sweet," he grinned again and kissed me, "You really don't have to worry about that on my end, girls never fancy me."
"You'd be surprised," I rolled my eyes, "You proved in the war that you're a freaking badass mother f***er. You sliced off Nagini's head when your own was on fire!"
Neville blushed bashfully, "Well, I dunno…"
"Of course you did. And you stood up to Voldemort and you kept fighting all year and you took up Harry Potter's mantel and you chased down Death Eaters when it was all over and you are a badass, Neville Longbottom," I grinned cheekily at him, "My hero."
He blushed even more furiously, his entire face turning tomato red. I giggled and kissed his cheek, whispering sensuously in his ear, "My savior, my hero, both on the battlefield and in the bedroom."
He couldn't have turned redder than what he had been but somehow he managed to, the color reaching up past the roots of his hair. A Weasley would have been jealous.
"Maggie," he whispered, amazed. I giggled again and kissed his ear. Suddenly, footsteps lead into the living room and Ezra and Richard rounded the corner.
"Hey Maggie- who is that?" Ezra asked in amazement. Richard looked completely shocked and then his eyes narrowed.
"Uhh…" I felt my face color furiously, and Neville's drained of color.
"You didn't tell them about me, eh?" Neville asked cheekily.
"You know I didn't, and it's especially important that I don't now, because that means you're safe," I rolled my eyes, running my fingers through his hair.
"Oh fine, fine. Hello gents," Neville beamed, "I'm Neville Longbottom."
"You aren't from America are you?" Ezra asked. Richard seemed unable to speak.
"Nope, I'm from the UK- first Cardiff and then Leeds, actually. Pleased to meet you- Maggie's probably mentioned you, but what are your names?" Neville was smiling cheerfully.
"I'm Ezra and that's Richard," Ezra pointed, "How d'you know Maggie?"
"Well, we got to know each other when she fought in the war over here, didn't we?" Neville looked at me with a small smile. I rolled my eyes at him and gently patted the top of his head.
"And while Maggie is in her consigned service to the UDRA we talk via the floo," Neville shrugged.
"You're in consigned service?" Ezra and Richard asked at once.
"Long story," I grinned over at Neville, who beamed back, "I'll tell you later."
"But why would you want to floo?" Richard grumbled.
"You didn't mention he was thick," Neville raised an eyebrow.
I blushed furiously as I responded, "Well, he's… erm… he's my mate."
Ezra's eyebrows flew up into his hairline and Richard's eyes narrowed even more.
"You're kidding," Ezra laughed, "You never mentioned you had a mate."
"It never came up," I continued to blush furiously as Neville chuckled softly beside me.
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Neville. Feel free to floo anytime and we'll get Maggie," Ezra nodded, "We'll leave you two alone, eh?"
I smiled in thanks as he practically dragged the fuming Richard out of the room.
Besides flooing Neville and sitting around talking to each other, the days in the cabin were slow and monotonous. The dragons flew patrols along the border and never seemed to catch anyone. The closest thing we had to action at one point were two young teens trying to sneak across from our side, but upon questioning it became evident that a, they were muggles, and b, they were trying to escape the latest United States President, whom they disagreed with. We had to erase their memories and send them on their way.
And so the year turned into the next, and I realized that my last year of consigned service to the UDRA would start this year.
In my foolishness, I thought this meant that in a year's time, I'd be planning my return home.
How silly of me.
AN: The next chapter is entirely in Neville's POV- get excited! Sorry this one didn't have much action, but I enjoyed writing Neville and Maggie's first quasi-fight.
Today, is my birthday. I would love, for some reviews, for my birthday. Seriously. Come on, just a little review for a birthday present? Please?
POTTERMORE USERNAME: Aurorseeker191
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