.

.

Sarah and I enter the Nacrene city gym together. It's nothing like Elesa's gym –it's much smaller, and no one's asking questions at the door. Inside there's a big room of books, more books than I've ever seen together before. The room smells like old paper. I see a desk, but no one's behind it.

"Hello?" Sarah calls out. She's braver than me.

There's no response at first, and then a guy comes hopping out from between some bookshelves. He wearing a purple vest and funny-looking bow-tie. "Ah, my apologies," he says. "I didn't notice you come in. How can I help you? Are you here to browse, or did you have a specific question?"

Sarah and I look at each other. "We're here for a gym battle," I say.

"Ah," he says again. "Pokeballs. Forgive me, I didn't notice. You'll want to walk straight ahead, it's the door at the end of the room." Maybe he sees how confused we are because he says, "Lenora's gym doubles as a library for the town. I'm actually not affiliated with the battling aspect of the gym – I'm merely a humble librarian. If you're interested in enjoying the stacks after your battle, feel free! Please do remember, though, that we have a strict no pokemon policy in the library itself," he adds, seeing Champ poke his head out from between my legs.

We tell him okay, and keeping walking. In the back of the library we find an open door.

Sarah and I exchange looks. Somehow it feels weird to talk aloud around all these books. Sarah shrugs, and we go through the door together.

It opens onto a small battlefield. On the far end of the field, a woman is sitting on a tiny stool, her head bent into a book. A lillipup is curled up on her lap, snuffling gently.

"That must be Lenora," Sarah whispers. "You can go first," she adds, giving me a little shove.

I take a few steps forward. "Hi," I say. My voice sounds especially small. "I'm Lena." My tongue feels twisty and I don't know what to say next. The woman looks up at us and smiles encouragingly.

I think of Sarah at my side and suddenly I feel brave. "I want to have a one-on-one battle. A normal type battle. If that's" – I falter – "if that's okay."

Lenora stands and comes over to us. "Do you have more than one pokemon?" Her voice is rich and deep.

"No," I whisper.

She looks at me some more. "Very well. If you'll take your place at the other end of the battlefield, we can commence – will your friend be staying to watch?"

"Um," I say, suddenly unsure. It sounds kind of scary, to have Sarah watching me battle. What if I totally mess things up and look stupid?

"Or your friend can wait outside," Lenora says, watching my face.

I see Sarah frown. Lenora moves over to her and says something quietly that I can't hear. Then Sarah nods and tells me, "Good luck."

I watch her go, suddenly feeling alone. Which is silly, cause Champ's with me – it's no different than at Elesa's gym, really, except that at Elesa's gym no one was there to cheer me on. Sarah is here for me, and I'm the one who told her to go.

"Do you have any other badges?" Lenora asks me.

I shake my head, embarrassed.

"Now don't go looking like that, child," Lenora says sternly, but there is a warm current underneath. "We all start somewhere."

I blink at that. It's hard to imagine someone like Lenora or Elesa ever being weak or scared. "Even you?" I say without thinking.

Lenora laughs. "Me more than most, I should say."

I wonder what she means, but she doesn't say anything more.

I go to my side of the battlefield, and watch as she pulls at a bell-cord. After a few minutes a man comes out from the back, dressed in the uniform of the pokemon league. She says something to him quietly, and he nods.

"This will be a one-on-one battle," he announces, taking his place. "Is the challenger ready?"

I release Champ and nod. "Um, yeah, We're ready."

"I will be using Watchog," Lenora says, throwing out a pokeball.

Watchog has big teeth like Champ does, but its eyes are glinting and red, and it walks on two legs. Still, I bet it attacks with its teeth just like Champ. There's not going to be any wild electricity or sudden fires. I know how a pokemon like watchog will fight, and thinking that makes me less scared.

"Begin with leer," Lenora says. The watchog narrows its eyes, which glow an entrancing red.

Champ shivers and stands still, transfixed. I can hardly look away, either.

"Now, use crunch," Lenora says calmly.

"Dodge, Champ!" I say, too late. Champ's still shaky on his feet and can't move in time. "Bite while it's close," I shout.

"Sand attack," Lenora counters. The watchog kicks up dirt from the floor into Champ's face. He shakes his head furiously from side to side, trying to clear his eyes. "Now, attack with low kick," Lenora says.

"Quick attack," I shout. This time Champ's faster. He avoids the watchog's leg and barrels into it from the side. "Now bite again!"

"Detect," Lenora says. The watchog moves as if it knows exactly what Champ's going to do, twisting just out of reach of Champ's teeth.

Champ lands on his feet, breathing hard. I bite my lip, trying to think. Champ moves faster, but the watchog has all these sneaky moves to get out of the way. Maybe if we –

But Lenora doesn't give me time to think. "Retaliate," she commands.

The watchog bears down on us with a loud cry. Panic starts to take me over. I don't know what that attack means. All the proper trainer names go right out of my head.

"Side!" I shout frantically to Champ. He jumps to the side, narrowly avoiding the watchog. "Now sneak move!"

Lenora frowns, her mouth open as if she's going to give a command, but she says nothing – and Champ slams into the watchog hard.

"Now bright one!" I yell all in a jumble. Lenora stares at Champ, her brow furrowed, as his teeth start to glow. Suddenly her eyes widen.

"Dodge it," she shouts, but she's too late and Watchog is too slow. This time Champ's attack brings the watchog to the ground.

I'm about to call another move, but I notice how Champ is sitting, still and intent. He's watching the watchdog, so I do too.

The silence edges on. I'm breathing too fast from the battle, and I can see the sweat soaking Champ's fur.

"Watchog is unable to battle," the judge shouts, breaking my focus. "The challenger is the winner!"

I blink at the words because they make no sense and then Champ is in my arms and we are twirling and laughing. I flop back on the ground and Champ runs all over my belly. Then I notice Lenora's come over and I sit up all at once.

"Congratulations," she says, smiling. "Your raticate is very good fighter and your strategy at the end is one I haven't seen before. None of my other challengers have found a way to make my encyclopedic knowledge into a weakness. It's my honor to award you with the Basic Badge."

I take the badge carefully, like it's a jewel or one of Mom's best dishes. Pulling out the case that Nurse Joy gave me, I slip the badge inside.

It fits perfectly.

I stare at it and then without thinking I'm saying the only thing running through my head. "I don't get it. You, you must have trained for years and years – and Champ and I have hardly trained for lots of months, so how could we beat you?" I glance at her face quickly to see if she thinks that was a rude thing to ask.

But Lenora smiles. "That's a smart question. The gym challenge functions as a modulated tier system. Do you know what that means?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Perhaps you've heard that some gyms are harder or easier than others."

I nod.

"The gym system is tiered, in that gyms are grouped into beginning, intermediate and advanced categories. I run a gym at the beginner level, while the Opelucid gym is at the advanced level. Among gyms of the same level however, there's still variation. To put it simply, I will use different pokemon depending on how many badges you have earned. This modulation based on challenger experience is what keeps the gyms a test of not just experience, but skill. It also makes the gym challenge easier logistically, since there is no specific order that challengers must follow."

I think through that a bit. "So you mean that when Sarah battles here you'll fight with better pokemon because she has two badges already?"

"I'll use stronger pokemon, yes. Because Sarah will be battling for her third badge, while you were battling for your first. We expect different levels of skill to win those different badges."

"That makes sense," I say slowly.

"I'm glad you think so," Lenora says, sounding sort of amused, and I wonder if she's laughing at me inside. But I don't think Lenora is mean.

"Thanks for explaining," I say.

"Child, there's nothing I love more than explanations," Lenora says, still amused. It hits me that it's herself she finds funny, not me, and I start to smile too.

We walk outside together. Sarah is there, going over moves with Cindy.

"Sarah!" I shout, and I hold up my badge. She turns around and when she sees my badge she grins really wide. "Awesome!" she says. "I knew you'd win!"

I didn't even know that, I think. But that's wrong. She's not really saying she knew. She's saying that she thought I was tough enough to win.

"My turn, then," Sarah says brightly. Then she frowns. "Or is two trainers in a row too much?"

Lenora laughs. "I hope you aren't trying to be insulting, dearie."

Sarah blushes. "Sorry. Okay, well." She glances over at me. "I'm fine with you watching. Um. If you want to, of course."

I do want to. Only –

Only, I feel strange. It's like my legs have forgotten that they're supposed to stand straight, and I feel sort of warm and cold at the same time.

"I want to," I say quickly. "Um, but Champ is sort of tired, and –"

"I didn't think about that," Sarah says, her eyes widening. "Sorry, Champ. I'll, uh, see you at the pokemon center, then!" She smiles, and then nods, and then sort of blushes again.

When Sarah and Lenora have gone inside, I collapse on the grass and take out Lenora's badge again.

"Tat-ta," Champ mutters.

"I know you're not that tired. Sorry I used you as an excuse. It's just that I feel weird."

I pull my knees up to my chest, thinking. The weird thing – even weirder than the weight of Lenora's badge in my hand – is that I don't feel any different than before.

I keep thinking this moment is going to come when I'll know I'm a real trainer. I'd close my eyes and then open them, and I'd just know, the way the other trainers do. I'd been so sure that winning a gym battle would be that moment. Only real trainers win gym badges. A fake trainer sure couldn't do anything like that.

I clench my fist tighter around Lenora's badge until the sides dig into my palm, feeling my eyes starting to burn. I blink furiously, trying to force back the stupid tears which keep trying to make my face wet.

"Maybe fakes win all the time," I say to myself. "Maybe – "

"Catta-ratta-cat!" Champ shouts suddenly. He pushes his face against mine, all cold nose and scratchy fur. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his side.

But Champ doesn't let me hold him. He wriggles out of my arms and starts to talk again, "Ratt-ratta cate-ratta rat-ta."

He's talking too fast and it's hard to understand. "Me and you," I repeat haltingly. "For a long time. We're not fake –"

I blink.

"I'm such a dumb-head, Champ," I say quietly. Because suddenly I understand, and it's so simple I don't know how it took me so long.

"I became a trainer when I started to train you," I say. "That's what you're saying. And, you're right." Slowly, I unclench my hand to look at the slim bright rectangle on my palm. "That's what trainer means. All the rest of it – that's just the etiquette."

Lenora's badge doesn't make me a real trainer. It can't. Not when I've been a real trainer this whole time.

I wipe my eyes. What am I doing staring at some stupid badge? It's not important. Sarah's important. She's having her battle, right now, and I'm sitting around like a dumb-head instead of cheering her on.

I put the badge back in its case and stand up. Then Champ and I go back inside the gym, together.