I don't know if I should really warn for sexy times as they're pretty tame as far as sexy times go, but I'm going to anyway. Santana was right. Nudity ahead.
The awards conclude with you haven't seen Rachel come out from backstage yet so you seek out Brittany and Santana who was talking to a large group outside. You slide up next to Brittany who puts her arm around you. "That's so awesome for Rachel."
You nod with a bright smile. You've never been more proud of anyone in your whole life.
You get another text. This time it's from Rachel. She tells you to meet her out back and bring Brittany and Santana. The limo is waiting.
Once you're all out there, you pile into the limo then Rachel throws her arms around you and kisses you passionately. When she pulls away she says with wide eyes, "I won a Tony award."
"You did," you grin back. You take her face in your hands, "I'm so proud of you."
You make-out for a little while before you feel the limo stop. Brittany and Santana tell you goodnight with knowing smiles. You tell them to have fun and fluff your hair a bit. You didn't even realize that you were kissing her for so long in the limo until you made it all the way to the after party without knowing it.
The after party was a boring blur. You do know that Rachel found and met Liza Minelli and Angela Lansbury. The next thing that you remember is being slammed against the back of your apartment door. In a frenzy of lips and tongues and teeth your dress is unzipped and pooled at your feet. She takes a small moment to admire your bare upper body and panty clad lower body before kissing down your neck and softly kneading your breasts in her hands. Your hands search for any of her skin, but don't find it because of her dress. You moan and grip her dress trying to get her to understand that you need it off of her.
She smiles and kisses you hard one last time before taking your hand and dragging you to her room. She sits you on the bed and takes off her dress and heels letting them pool at her feet, carefully stepping out. Then she sits next to you and pulls you into her lap so that you're straddling her. She takes one delightfully sensitive nipple into her mouth and lightly swirls her tongue around it. You don't know how you've gone this far in your life without feeling like this.
You never really understood the need to touch someone all the time. You just thought that the people who hung all over their significant other were needy and had some dependency issues or, like Brittany and Santana, they were just horny all the time. But you get it now. You get that pull; the need. You understand the want to constantly be in physical contact. The rush is unbelievable.
Her mouth is exploring. She's being slow and careful, giving herself time to learn what makes you crazy. You arch your back into her when she softly bites down. You wrap your fingers in her beautiful hair, careful not to pull. She moves to your other nipple and the ache between your legs grows that much more.
Her tongue blazes a trail up your neck and she nips at your jaw. You moan before her lips close over yours. You unhook her bra, or rather your bra, and slide it off of her arms. As her breasts become exposed, your mouth starts to water. You wonder if they taste as good as they look. You test out your theory and you moan together. She tastes exquisite.
You go on, exploring each other's upper bodies for quite some time. Finally you push her onto her back, your body overriding your mind. You need to feel her fingers in the most intimate of places and you need to feel hers.
She flips you both over and she sits up. The look of surprise on her face tells you that grinding your cores together was inadvertent, but oh so delicious. She runs her hands up your stomach, lightly over your breasts before cupping your face. Her lips meet yours in a short, sweet kiss. She rolls her hips forward and rubbing herself against you.
You pull her down to your lips wanting to feel her whole body pressed against yours. This is nothing like you've ever experienced and you're half convinced that no one in the whole world has ever experienced this feeling either.
As her lips crash into yours for a heated kiss, your hands roam down the small of her back to the top of her panties. You're running on instinct now. This is uncharted territory. You slide your hand between the two of you and over the front of her panties. She moans loudly as you his a particularly wet spot between her legs.
You pull your lips away from hers, looking into her eyes. They're glazed over with lust and she frantically nods trying to get you to get on with it. Your slide your hand down the front of her panties, tentatively letting your fingers explore. You recognize the territory. You have your own and there were plenty of pictures when you went to visit your gyno. It's just a matter of finding out what she likes.
So far, there isn't much that she doesn't like. Her breath is ragged on your neck and you feel her hands frantically scratching to get into your panties. Once she has a hand inside your panties, your head falls back against the pillow, "Oh god Rach."
Through your eyelashes you can see her smiling at her accomplishment. Finally you find what you're looking for and slip a single finger into her.
"Oh, ah," Rachel's eyes roll back and her head drops to your shoulder.
You slowly move your finger out and carefully back in. You lose yourself in the sensation of feeling her inner muscles tighten around your finger so much that you don't notice her moving her own finger until it plunges into you. "Oh my-…ah," you pant, trying to remember that she needs pleasing as well. You can't lose yourself in her. Not completely. Not yet.
You both establish a rhythm, grinding and pumping like you've done this together for years. You're the first one to add another finger and she's quick to follow. You kiss her neck, relishing in how tight she is around your fingers.
"Oh…oh," Rachel's thrusts get frantic. You feel like you're about to lose it so you increase your thrusts, hoping that she catches up to you. You take a moment to admire how beautiful she is, lost in her feelings and sensations. You want nothing more than to make her feel the ultimate pleasure so you try to remember everything you've been told. You twist your hand and bend your fingers at the knuckle next time you slide them inside, your palm coming into contact with her bundle of nerves. She cries out and her whole body shutters sending her fingers erratically inside of you causing your own release.
You both try to catch your breath, fingers still inside of each other. Her head is resting on your collarbone and her heavy breaths are teasing your skin. Your free hand comes up and combs the hair out of her face. She hasn't lifted up her head yet so you softly ask, "Are you okay?"
She places a soft kiss where her lips lay and then she extracts her fingers from inside you. You follow suit and she wriggles on top of you. "That was amazing."
You giggle and nod. Her eyes finally find yours and you both smile at each other. She takes a deep breath and runs her fingertips down your cheek and neck, "Can I tell you something cheesy?"
You nod, taking her hand in yours and kissing her knuckles, "Of course."
"I love touching you," she barely whispers, "I don't think I'll ever get enough."
You push the hair out of her eyes. "Me either."
She presses her lips to yours, "That was amazing and we weren't even fully naked." She rolls onto her side. She props her head up with one hand and with the other she's running her fingers along your navel. "Wanna try again?"
Can you really say no to that?
About two hours later, in your after orgasmic haze (okay, multiple orgasmic haze), you look over at Rachel who has a sweet smile on her lips as she looks at you. You can't resist kissing her again. She giggles out of the kiss and says, "I think I could get used to that."
"Please do," you kiss her again, and then kiss her shoulder.
A knock on the front door erupts the beginnings of round number…five or six? Maybe seven. Regardless you're being interrupted and you don't like it. You both just sit there until the knock continues. You huff and grab your panties off of the floor and a t-shirt out of her drawer. When you wretch open the door, Brittany and Santana are standing there grinning at you. Brittany's holding flowers.
Santana turns to Brittany and loudly whispers, "I told you this was a bad idea. They were having sex."
"Sorry about interrupting your sex," Brittany smiles her innocent smile at you, hoping you're not mad at her.
What little anger you had dissipated. You open the door wider for them to come in. Brittany walks in and b-lines straight for Rachel's bedroom.
"Sorry," Santana offers with a shrug, "She wanted to give Rachel flowers tonight for her win."
"It's okay," you tell her and walk with her toward the bedroom where you hope Rachel has found some clothes. "We weren't doing anything when you knocked. Now if you have shown up two minutes later."
Santana chuckles, "You know what? I don't think I've seen or heard you this happy well…ever. In the whole time I've known you, you've never been this happy." She crosses her arms defensively. You know it's because she's not good with the whole sappy feelings thing.
You hug her and she hugs you back. "Thanks San."
After a few seconds of a good hug, Santana steps away, "If you want to continue to hug me you need pants on."
You laugh and lead the rest of the way into the bedroom. Rachel is clothed and Brittany is laying on the bed next to her. They're both smiling and chattering away about something.
Santana sits at the end of the bed and you lay down on the other side of Brittany. "Hey Q, can I borrow some clothes?" Santana asks, still in her dress.
You nod. You start to get up, but one of Brittany's arms flops over your waist. Santana exits the room and Brittany snuggles into your side.
You look over Brittany at Rachel who is digging around in the clothes on the ground. She sees you looking at her and smiles, "I have to go call my dads. Do you know where my phone is?"
"Probably by the front door," you offer, not moving out of Brittany's arms. Rachel slips out and you snuggle into Brittany, letting your eyes slide closed. You didn't really know that you were that tired, but you slip in and out of consciousness. You're pulled out of the hold of sleep by two shifting weights on the foot of the bed.
"Listen up Berry," Santana harshly whispers. You wonder if you need to stop this but give your friend the benefit of the doubt. She pauses, presumably waiting for Rachel's full attention. "I understand that Quinn's had this thing for you forever. I know it's for real even though I was too fucked up in high school to see it then. Believe me had I given her a more studious look, I would have seen it and given her complete hell for it." You can feel Rachel's smile radiate through the air and penetrate you down to your bones. Santana interrupts your tingly feeling when she adds, "Look, she'd kill me if she knew I told you this but the first nationals in New York..." Santana takes a deep breath and you're almost sure you know what's she's going to tell Rachel. She's right. You're plotting her murder as she gathers up the words to tell Rachel. You're thinking poison in her beloved coffee.
"She told me and Britt that she just wants someone to love her." Yup homicide is definitely on your agenda. "She has this thing where she tries to... I dunno, test people's love and so far a lot of people have failed her. I failed her too. For years. And you're like... It. You're the prize. You're the Holy Grail. I can't imagine what insane things she's going to pull to get you to leave her. But if you do, if you stay with her for any longer only to leave her... I don't... It'll be ten times worse than when her dad kicked her out."
You bite your lip. So maybe no more murder because you want to know Rachel's response. You need to know it. You know Santana's right. She's been your sister since you met on the playground before the pressures of life and boys and sexuality got to you two. She knows you almost as well, if not better, than your mom and your biological sister.
"Santana I-"
"Hold up," Santana interrupts Rachel's response and just like that murder is back on the table. You need to know why Rachel was going to say.
Brittany shifts next to you, burrowing farther into you.
"Before you say anything I know that shit happens and couples break up. That's whatever. I'm saying that right now, if you're not sure that you could-not that you do because it's like super soon for you- but if you're not sure that you could fall in love with her, don't do it. She can move in with me and B and we'll all pretend that you don't exist."
"May I answer now?" her voice shows no agitation in the least. She's calm and patient. When Santana doesn't answer, you assume she nodded because Rachel continues, "even if Quinn didn't have such protective people around her ready to pounce on me the second I step out of line, I wouldn't go into this just as experiment or whatever you think this is. I really do care about Quinn. Very deeply. My fathers taught me that love knows no gender as I'm sure you know. I have no reservations about her gender or anything nefarious that happened in high school. This isn't a prank or a joke to get her back for anything. I truly and deeply love her and if I didn't I wouldn't have committed to her; if I couldn't see myself falling completely in love with her in the future."
You can almost hear Santana's brain barreling through Rachel's words searching for anything that's even remotely off. Finally you hear Santana add, "Cool." After a beat she says, "I'll wake B up and we'll get out of here."
"You're more than welcomed to stay," Rachel offers, "I'm sure Quinn won't mind you sleeping in her bed. We can leave them here and I'll pull out the couch."
"Nah," Santana replies, "I can't sleep without her." After a pause and having to fight off your own laughter Santana adds, "Don't look at me like that. Pretend like I never said that."
"The lion has a heart," Rachel coos teasingly.
Santana huffs, "I'll get Brittany and we'll go to Q's room. Don't tell Q about this okay?"
"Cross my heart. I'm going to hug you now okay?"
There's silence so you figure that Santana didn't protest. You hear a soft pat before you hear Santana quietly coax Brittany into waking and feel the blonde's weight leave the bed. A few minutes later, Rachel's body is in her place, pressed up against you. One of her arms possessively drapes over your waist and you feel her softly kiss your forehead. She whispers, "Sweet dreams, Quinn."
You're not sure how long you've been asleep, a ringing interrupts your thoughts. You look up to see Santana standing at your door with your phone in her hand. She tosses it onto the bed just as the ringing stops, "Your phone has been blowing up all night. I'm going to take B home."
You nod to show that you understood. You glance at the clock and find that that is in fact the sun that's blinding you. According to the clock in the room, it's almost seven. Rachel's awake when you look at her. She smiles and gives you a kiss before rolling out of bed and trotting to the bathroom.
You pick up your phone. Eight missed calls? That's weird. Just as you're about to see who it was, your phone starts ringing again. Kurt's face pops up on the screen and you smile. He's probably calling to congratulate Rachel on her win. You press the answer button and say, "Hello?"
"Quinn, it's Blaine," he says, his voice somber and carefully controlled. "I'm sorry to call you so early, but we just landed in Columbus. There was an accident at the tire shop. One of the hydraulic lifts malfunctioned and Finn was under it. Kurt told me that you'd want to know."
"Is, is he okay?" she slowly lower yourself onto the bed as Rachel walks back into the room. She looks confused at you and goes to sit down next to you, rubbing your back supportively. She doesn't speak, but her eyes beg you to tell her what's wrong.
"He's in the hospital right now," Blaine explains. "Burt said it's touch and go. It fell on his chest so there are broken ribs and bleeds. I don't really know the details. I'm sorry."
"Do I," your eyes are watery. You may have not been in love with him, but you loved him. You still do to an extent. You know Kurt has got to be a wreck. "Do I need to-to…." You shake your head, "Can I talk to Kurt?"
You hear Blaine's voice farther away from the phone, "Sweetie can you talk to Quinn?" After a shuffling you hear Kurt sniffling.
"I'm so sorry," you tell him trying to keep your voice together. You glance at Rachel whose face is covered in concern. You bite you lip collecting yourself before whispering to her, "Finn was in an accident at the shop. He's in the hospital."
She understandingly nods and whispers to you, "I'm sorry."
"Quinn," Kurt's voice is shaking, "Can you meet us there? Please? I need you. Finn would want you here. I know you're busy, but-"
"I'll be there as soon as I can," you tell him, clenching your jaw to keep yourself from crying.
"Thank you," his voice is weak and when you hear him hang up, you take a deep breath.
Rachel pulls you into her and kisses your temple, "Do you want me to go with you?"
You think it over. You really want her to be there. You're going to be there for Kurt, but you want someone to be there for you. You may not be married to him anymore, but that doesn't mean that you don't care. But you shake your head, "You have your shows and after the award everyone is going to see you." You turn toward her and fall into a hug.
Her chest tightens and you know she wants to say something, to tell you that she'll go anyway, but you made a great point. She slowly pulls away and gently kisses you. You draw some comfort from it and just look at her. She's worried. Worried about you, worried about Finn and Kurt. You swallow and look away, your eyes dropping to her bent leg between you. She softly asks, "What can I do? Do you want me to pack for you or book your plane ticket? I want to drive you to the airport."
You nod. You want her to as well. "I'll-I'll pack. Can you book my ticket please?"
She nods placing her hand on the back of your head and placing a lingering kiss on your forehead. With that she gets up and moves to her dresser where her laptop is sitting. You stand up and go to your own room. You don't even really remember what you packed, but you're packed in less than five minutes. You set your suitcase by the front door and go to Rachel's bedroom.
She's sitting on her bed, face screwed with concentration. You plop down next to her and rest your head on her shoulder. She wraps a protective arm around you and clicks on the information for a flight. "The closest the flights get today is Columbus. Do you want me to rent you a car or can someone pick you up?"
"I'll get a car," you close your eyes, just feeling her body close to you.
"Are you sure you can drive?" she asks, kissing your head.
You nod. You'll be okay to drive. You need a way to get around town anyway. You rub your forehead and let out a deep sigh. "Everything was going so good…"
"Honey parts of us are still going good," she offers, "Things happen. You'll get through it. You're the most resilient person I know." She gives you a smile that seems unsure if it's the right thing. "I'm sure Finn will be okay."
She finishes booking your flight and reserving your car. Your flight leaves in two hours so you both immediately leave your apartment. She drives because your hands feel unsteady and you assure her again that you're going to be okay to drive once you land in Ohio.
At the security checkpoint, you kiss her and sniffle trying to stifle your tears. You spotted a photographer who apparently notices Rachel, but he gives you a stiff wave when he sees you looking before he turns away to look for someone else. You're thankful for his chosen ignorance.
"Are you sure you don't need me to come with you?" she asks, cupping your cheek.
You shake your head, "I'll be okay. I'm sure he's okay."
"Call me when you land okay?" she runs her fingers through your hair and gives you a sweet kiss, "And if you need anything at all you can call me and I'll come running."
You nod and give her small smile, "Thanks Rach."
"I love you," she kisses you again, "Be safe."
"I love you too."
When you land, it's easy to get a rental car. Once you're on the road to Lima you call Rachel. She answers, wide-awake and you ask her to talk to you until you get to Lima. You don't really want to be alone.
You're about thirty minutes into the drive when she asks, "Are you religiously affiliated?"
"Hmm?"
"Religion?"
You just shrug and let out a thoughtful sigh, "My parents are-were protestant. My mom still goes sometimes. I'm sure my dad now worships at the church of strippers. But growing up I think I went to mass with Santana more than my parents because I thought it was more interesting than my church. My baby was half Jewish. So that makes me…a mutt? Why?"
"I struck me while I was driving home that we haven't really talked about things like sex, religion, politics," she explains, "And I think that those are important things to know about someone that you're dating. We both have time and you need something to think about while you drive."
"Okay," you couldn't agree more. Until you get to Lima the less you think about the accident, the better.
"Okay, so sex or politics?"
"Ew politics," you scrunch up your nose although she can't see it.
She laughs, "We're on the same page there."
"So that leaves sex?" you ask, wondering what kind of sex conversation this is going to be.
She adds, "It's not like…I don't think we need to talk about how we like to have sex. I think we're pretty good at it so far. Just…I'm curious about some other things."
"Me too," you add, "So you didn't wait until you were twenty-five for sex?"
She giggles, "No. Although I've only had one sexual partner besides you thus far."
You pray and hope in your heart of hearts that it wasn't Finn. You heard rumors in high school and squashed them with a violent threat. Not because Finn was your boyfriend, but you didn't want Rachel's innocence taken by him. He was and still is a nice guy but in bed he tends to not deviate from the vanilla. Not that you really ever tried to get him to. For the most part you struggled to not think of Rachel the whole time. Now you feel kind of like an ass for doing that since he's in the hospital, "David?"
Her voice takes a nostalgic tone, "His name was Derek. We met my second semester at Juilliard."
You think over asking her if she regretted it. You finally spit it out.
"I don't," she says. "I loved him and he loved me. He was really sweet about it. He got a job in Europe and I would have gone with him had he not broken up with to keep me here. I don't get what it is about me that makes people push me away to get me to follow my dreams."
You know she's talking about not only Derek, but you as well. You can only speak for yourself, but you're sure if this Derek guys sees in Rachel what you see in her, you know why he did what he did. "You make us want to be better people. We know you're amazing and you'll do amazing things if you give yourself the chance."
"I'm glad he did what he did and that you said what you said," she says and you can see her face as she sees it. She's wearing a sad smile and her eyes are full of grace. After a beat she asks, "What about you? Are Noah and Finn it?"
You exhale and shake your head. "Just one more though. I slept with a coworker before Finn and I got married."
Rachel's voice gets curious. "Were you dating Finn?"
You spot a sign for the Lima city limits, "No. We were temporarily broken up. After Puck I never cheated on anyone ever again. And I never will."
By the small sigh she let's out you know her mood. She knows what you're trying to say even though you won't directly say it. "I'll never question your fidelity Quinn. When you look at me, I know your feelings are strong. I watched you last night at the after party. Guys and girls hit on you and you talked to them but it never failed that when I was looking at you, you were looking at me."
You want to kiss her at that moment. You want to kiss her hard, "I'll always look at you."
"I love you too," she murmurs.
"I'm here," you announce to her.
"Oh okay. Well, call me to let me know how he's doing," she adds, "And how you're doing. Please babe."
"Of course," you turn down the familiar street to the hospital.
"Quinn, please know that if you need anything, anything at all," Rachel adds, "Please call me. I can be there in three hours."
"I promise," you assure her.
"I love you."
"I love you too," you say and wait for her to hang up. When she does, you drop your phone in the cup holder. You feel like you've been holding your breath all the way to the hospital. Once in the parking lot of the hospital, you sit there and stare at the building. It's so square and white and depressing. The windows are small and the curtains are green. You don't want to go in there, but you know you have to. You finally shut off your car and open the door, your foot crunches on the dirt in the asphalt. It's a dreary morning in Lima.