Hello civilians! Here I am, writing to you as a special treat from Waneska, Georgia. Fun, eh? We (being my mother, brother and I) are visiting with family friends, although we often inform Jasmine (their seven-year-old daughter) that we dearly miss our igloo and pet polar bear, Aunt Jemima. Anywho, it was BEAUTIFUL here today. I was like "OHMIGOSH! SUN! AND IT'S ACTUALLY PROVIDING WARMTH!" Yeah…I spent like an hour just sitting outside, basking in the warm weather (whereas Canada is supposed to be 2 Celsius on Saturday). And then I was talking to Jumper. He's a gecko. He's cool. And he jumps really far. Hence the name Jumper. And Adrian and Jasmine and…well, I dunno if Aidan helped - caught three geckos. But then they let them go. Oooh, and I made an Emo Boy on Jasmine's Wii. His name was Casper. People in my class would get that. But then Jasmine deleted him, which was very depressing. But it's okay, cuz he was SO hanging with Felicia, and not in an innocent way. Stupid Felicia…she's deleted too.

Anyway, I'll get on with it. I decided that since I was able to steal away the laptop for a night, I would write a brief chapter all the way from Georgia. So, how does that sound? Yes, I accept eternal gratitude and love. Hah. Oh, and I'd really appreciate it if ya'll reviewed. Really. I'm so close to a hundred….I would literally DIE if I got a hundred reviews. I mean, come on people. I've seen nasty slashfics and threesomes get more reviews than this. Although that's explainable. There are some REALLY creepy people out there…like this person on fan pop. Oh Lordy. I was looking at comments for a pick for The Host that said "Ian or Jared?" and one person said both, and their comment was "I just learned something about myself…I am perfectly okay with threesomes." I was like WOAH BUDDY. Keep that to yourself, why don't you?

ANYway, on with it.

Short Bonus Chapter

Jeff: Hello everybody!Mr. Kittywhale: Yeah. Hi.

Jeff: Okay, well apparently we have a surprise episode on our hands!

Mr. Kittywhale: Oh JOY. Aren't we all excited?

Jeff: And now to escape from Mr. K's sarcasm…ON WITH THE EPISODE!

(Cuts to Castle Volturi)

Alec: Why is everyone staring? Do my maternity clothes make me look fat?

Skittles: No, not AT ALL.

Aro: I'M JUST WONDERING HOW IT HAPPENED.

Alec: Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much-

Aro: YES, BUT DOES THAT APPLY TO YOU?

Alec: I'm a woman, and I may have overindulged on rice cakes that may or may not have been spiked, and one thing led to another, and…

Aro: HOW DO YOU SPIKE A RICE CAKE?

Alexa: Never mind that - are you saying you got jiggy with an alcoholic rice cake?

Alec: Nah, I'm fairly sure it was Fabio.

Aro: OF COURSE.

Alec: He's much less muscular in person…but eh, I was drunk. He sorta looked like a woman from far away…and he looked even more like a woman close up…but I assure you, he is male.

Alexa: So you're pregnant with Fabio's child….and have you told him yet?

Alec: Heck no! He's FABIO for goodness sakes! He'd probably file a lawsuit.

Aro: HE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER YOU.

Alec: Oh trust me, he remembers.

Alexa: Oh God, you sick, sick woman.

Alec: Well, if you're gonna have a drunk one night stand, it may as well be kinky. That way you won't regret it cuz it was just so darn good.

(Board Officials for FF: -wondering if this should be rated M because we're so high and mighty we think teenagers don't discuss/participate in similar activities-)

Aro: SO YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH FABIO'S CHILD, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL HIM, YOU INTEND TO RAISE SAID CHILD IN A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS ENVIRONMENT, AND YOU LEFT HIM WITH A NIGHT THAT WILL MAKE HIM PINE AFTER YOU AN POSSIBLY TRACK YOU DOWN FOR ANOTHER GO?

Alec: Well…that sounds about right.

Aro: AT LEAST YOU KEEP THINGS INTERESTING.

Alexa: We're interesting too! We just had a WAR! And Dimitri's back!

Alec: OMG Dimitri's back?!

Alexa: Did you miss the montage?

Alec: Maybe…

Alexa: You whore.

Dimitri: I agree. That was a fantastic montage.

Alec: It wasn't my fault! I was off discovering my pregnancy.

Aro: OH MY GOSH ALEC WHAT IF FABIO HAD AN STD?!

Alec: I'm a vampire….

Aro: YES, BUT YOU'RE BABY IS ONLY HALF VAMPIRE. THAT MEANS THE HUMAN HALF IS SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE STD…MEANING YOUR BABY WILL HAVE HALF AN STD!

Alec: That's…upsetting. I should get that checked before I hit the four month mark.

Alexa: How long do you think that'll take?

Aro: WELL, JUDGING BY THE SPEED OF MY PREGNANCY, I'D SAY…TOMORROW NIGHT.

(Much later…)

MJMD: Since the war's over….think I can go home now?

Aro: NAH, I STILL NEED YOU HERE.

MJMD: And why is that?

Aro: SO YOU CAN HELP ME TAKE OVER THE WORLD. STARTING WITH THE INTERNET!

Alexa: I'm fairly sure this is plagiarism…I mean, I'm fairly sure Aro taking over the internet has been done before.

MJMD: Not through Facebook.

Alexa: Very true.

(And later…)

Aro: SO HOW COME I CAN'T LOAD MORE THAN ONE PICTURE AT A TIME? AND WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG?

MJMD: You wouldn't let me download the software you needed to be able to upload more pictures at a time, and your server is EXTREMELY slow. Really. I'm considering unleashing nuclear weaponry on your laptop.

Aro: WELL…YOU'RE A HOOKER!

(And later…)

Alexa: How's the hostile Facebook takeover going along?

Aro: IN THE PAST HOUR I'VE GOTTEN THREE FRIENDS.

Alexa: Very good, Aro. Good boy.

Aro: YOU'RE MOCKING ME, AREN'T YOU?

Alexa: Me? Never. I would NEVER mock you.

Aro: GOOD. I KNEW YOU WERE MY FRIEND.

Alexa: -face palms-

(and still later…)

Dimitri: And I'm considering changing my name to Jacques.

MJMD: Jacques doesn't fit you at all. You need something more macho. You should go with Donatello.

Dimitri: That's a Ninja Turtle.

MJMD: I know.

Alexa: I like it.

(and later.)

Aro: DONATELLO?!

(Cuts to White Room, which had been painted Green)

Jeff: Well, no time for a blurb. Toodles lovees!

So, wutcha think? Let me know…? Please?