The week had gone on forever. I had been in and out of the hospital on a daily basis. Slowly my mother was getting better and was being released. To me that was pure relief, it was a whole burden released from my shoulders.
I went to school in a much better mood today. I find it so amazing how my moods just alter. Maybe I overreacted when I heard my mother was in hospital, but I am not used to things ever staying the same or being a positive outcome. I just really hope nothing goes off track for a while.
School seemed to be okay, a few people looked at me weirdly, but I just smiled back hoping they got the drift that everything was fine. It was nice to know that people were caring, but I hated seeing people pity me, it made me feel immensely weak with all the sad and concerned glances.
At lunch everyone seemed to be back to usual. Alice seemed more free and laidback with Jasper. It seemed like when I was upset she felt she had to distance herself from Jasper in order to be my best friend and I loved her for that, but I also felt that she should not have to split herself, I felt terrible that I caused her to act like that. Their love just seemed so innocent and pure and I know it seems cliché but they are perfect for each other, I believe they will be high school sweethearts. I hope that one day I could have something like that, but for now I was content with watching Ali and Jaz.
I remembered that night at the bonfire with Alice and how she wished for happiness, she got what she wanted fairly quick, I just hope it lasts for her and that one day I can have my shot at happiness.
When I went into the hospital my mum looked even better than before. However, I was slightly nervous because she seemed to be in an energetic mood, she was jumping up and down.
''Hey, mum'', I waved my hands in front of her.
''Hey bub, would love to chat but its exercising time'', she huffed.
''Maybe you need a break'', I suggested.
''Five more minutes'', she yelled enthusiastically.
I left her to do what she wanted to do and went to see Carlise. Surely they do not allow people to do what my mother is doing.
I knocked softly against the door.
''Come in'' Carlise said.
As I pushed the door open, Carlise looked surprised.
''Hello, Bella dear, what can I do for you'', he motioned for me to sit down.
''Um, well I know my mum is better, but should she really be exercising'', I asked shyly.
''Hmm, she really shouldn't, but no one can stop your mother'', he chuckled gently.
It was completely true, no one could ever force my mother to do anything, I guess it was humorous in its own way.
I was relieved that mum was getting released and I had persuaded Charlie to keep mum in the house for monitoring.
I decided to go out with my mum. As we wandered the streets and talked, I was somehow reminded of my childhood. I knew it wouldn't be good to bring it up, but I had to, I couldn't help it.
''Mum'', I asked, she nodded.
''I remember when I was younger and you said something like you didn't want me. I just want to know whether it was true'', I uttered softly.
''Bella, I shouldn't lie to you. When I was younger I did not know what I wanted'', she exhaled.
''I used to blame everyone for my unhappiness, you know. I was one to never stick to something. I could never be committed and I guess that's why your father and I didn't work out'' she breathed out heavily
''So when I found out I was pregnant, I just thought my life would be over'' she sighed.
''But, you know, your the one who changed that reason. As you grew up and put up with everything in front of you, it inspired me'' she kissed my forehead softly.
''I want you to know that now I really love you and nothing could change that'', she whispered hugging me.
''Bells, please don't be mad, I never intentionally tried to hurt you. I know my mistake now''.
''Mum, it's okay. I get it. I just wanted to know why'', I hugged her assuring.