It's her turn to make the calls and be ignored by every single one of them.

She sees her betrayal everywhere; friends, work, her apartment. Everything in a life at the moment serves as a constant reminder of what she did. As if she could forget without the universe reminding her every second anyway.

She thinks about tracking him down to see him, like he attempted to do with her. But she has no clue where they are and Puck won't tell her so she's forced to just sit and wait for them to get home. It sucks.

At the end of the week she gets a text from Puck.

We're back… kind of. Finn's gone to Lima to stay at his moms. He told me not to tell you but I guess I owe you for sleeping with Rachel and causing this mess in the first place. Good luck x

She panics. She's cheated before, (back in high school she cheated a lot!) and she's done her fair share of hurting people but she's new to the whole desperately-trying-to-fix-things thing. She decides to give him a couple of days to let the tour catch up with him but there's no way she's not going up to Lima to see him. She doesn't love the idea of having to face the Hudson-Hummel family like this, but she'll do it if that's what it takes to see him.

She drives up in the evening, hoping that if she gets there late enough he'll think twice before telling her to take a hike in the darkness. It's manipulation but she needs to fix things with him.

She's relieved when she sees his car on the drive, and even more relieved when she notices the empty parking spot where Burt's car should be.

She composes herself while the doorbell rings and she can see his silhouette approaching to answer it. She feels like she could throw up or explode at any second, and she has no idea what she's going to say but when he opens the door her mind goes completely blank and her body goes numb so it wouldn't have mattered much if she came prepared anyway.

He answers the door in an old flannel shirt and some sweats. She can immediately spot the bags under his eyes and the semi-closed up scars on his right knuckles. He looks like shit. So she tells him.

"You look like shit."

She can't help it. It's a weird compulsion. She shakes her head in immediate disgust with herself. What a ridiculously fucking stupid and inappropriate thing to say to him.

Luckily she thinks he's too stunned to have heard her because all he says is

"I'm gonna kill Puck."

They stand there looking at each other for a while and the fact that he hasn't slammed the door in her face yet gives her a small slither of confidence.

"Can I come in?"

He scoffs and adds ironically, "Please don't tell me you're that fucking dumb."

It's exactly what she said to him when he showed up at her place. Touché.

"Please, we need to talk."

He sighs before standing aside to let her in. (Thank god she's fighting with a nice guy.)

He's not going to talk first, that's obvious. And she's still getting her brain together so she just awkwardly asks,

"Where are your parents?"

"Out. It's their anniversary."

He speaks in monotone as he grabs a bottle of Jim Beam from the kitchen and refills his glass in the living room. She eyes him condemningly because the bottle is already half empty and he fills his glass to the brim but as he notices her look he just puts the bottle down and starts necking the drink. "You have no right to judge me right now."

There's a bitterness in his voice and movements that shock her. Not because she wasn't expecting it, just because it's a weird exhibition from him. Her composure breaks and everything comes out rushed and emotional.

"I was hurt ok. I thought you hurt me. You can't blame me for thinking-"

"-What. That I'd cheat on you with Rachel? You said it yourself, 6 days prior you told me you loved me and I'd been saying it to you for months so of course I'd go and cheat on you! Nothing confusing about that right."

He's throwing everything back in her face. It's a clever tactic that she'd admire if she weren't on the receiving end.

"That's exactly why I thought you did. Besides the shirtless picture and you not answering your phone and her yelling that she's having sex in your room I was paranoid ok. I thought she got in your head after her show, and between me taking forever to say I love you back and you hardly calling me after going away for 2 months, it made perfect sense that you would."

He starts to get angry.

"I hardly called you because it was too fucking hard, it was like torture!"

"Oh great, well that's great to hear!" She scoffs with sarcasm.

"Urgh, why do you always jump to the wrong- …it was torture because speaking to you on the phone for 5 minutes wasn't enough. Every time I spoke to you I had to hang up and I got to remind myself that you were miles away and that it would be months before I could see you again!"

"So you preferred not to talk to me at all? I was going out of my fucking mind. How can you blame me for being insecure when you were selfish enough to-"

"I don't blame you for being insecure I blame you for having sex with another dude!"

"I was angry and hurt and drunk and it didn't-"

"Well you know what, I was pretty drunk when you accused me of sleeping with Rachel and you weren't prepared to forgive me so what do you really expect me to do with you?"

He's got her there. She struggles to argue her case so she just hits him with pure emotional honesty.

"Finn, I made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and it makes me feel sick every time I think about it. It was just revenge it doesn't say anything about how I feel about you."

"Revenge makes it even worse! Because that means you wanted to hurt me and make me feel like this-"

"Yeah because that was how I was feeling when I thought you did it with her!"

A lump forms at the back of her throat and a light tear falls down her cheek as they take a break to regain themselves.

Pulling herself back together she takes a step forward towards him. And for the first time in weeks they share eye contact.

"I love you Finn. I don't want to hurt you. I just, I need you to forgive me, please. How can I make it up to you? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

He slowly shakes his head and looks away as she takes another step closer.

"I don't know Santana."

"I made a mistake."

She's now in touching distance, and as he turns his face back towards hers he has to keep his eyes closed for a few more seconds of courage before looking back into hers. And then in a quiet, broken voice he asserts,

"I think you should go."

"Finn …" she whispers as tears slowly and helplessly streak down her face.

Their feet are now touching and she searches his face for forgiveness but he just looks away again.

"You need to go Santana."

She can see his heart pulsating in his neck. She steadies her hands as she slowly moves them towards his chest. After hovering them there for a while she moves them up to hover over his face. With a low whisper that's enough to interrupt his breathing, she pleads, "You just, I just need you to…" And with that her hands tenderly make contact with his face as she gently pulls him down towards her. He lets his defenses go as she starts to softly kiss him. It feels so fucking good. His hands find her waist and he begins to kiss back with more passion but as she gains full confidence and uses her tongue to lick at his upper lip he pushes her away, aware that he shouldn't have given in.

He's frustrated with himself for letting her pull him in like that.

"Don't. Stop it. God, you think you can just show up, say a few words, batter your eyelashes and win me over?" It wasn't an intended ploy but she's made to feel embarrassed for it. His frustration takes an even bitter turn. "Although I guess that worked with Patrick. And the countless other guys in your life. Open your legs and they bow at your feet right…"

She's stunned. His eyes accidently reveal themselves to be slightly apologetic ant the sound of his own harsh words but the rest of him clenches in an attempt to stand firm. She doesn't like this side of him. That was a low blow and whether she deserved it or not she hates the way the words sounded on his tongue. She's at a complete loss.

'Fuck you. You know what you should count yourself lucky that I ever opened them for you in the first place. Do you remember what you were like before I found you? Mr, living out my car because I'm too occupied with self-pity to do anything but drink and beat the crap out of people! Get off your high horse Finn because you're not perfect and you'll be lucky to find someone to put up with all your childish shit."

She brushes past him towards the exit but now he decides he's not ready for her to leave.

"Yeah well good luck to you too in finding someone who's gonna put up with someone as difficult and conceited as you!"

Asshole.

"Yeah well, I'm surprised you even know what conceited means…"

"Oh of course, bring out the insult canons so you can deflect anyone from actually getting past the drawbridge and finding out who you really are!"

"Oh bring out the lame metaphors so you can make yourself seem noble and sensitive!"

Her blood's reached maximum boiling point as evident by her flushed cheeks and she just wants to leave so she can lock herself in the car and scream. He's just as riled up as she is and it's surprising how well he's holding his own against her.

"God why do you always have to-" he exclaims fisting his hands through his air as he struggles to finish his sentence.

"What." She yells back fiercely.

He takes a step towards her in desperation. "Why are you always so-"

"What?" She takes a step towards him.

They stare at each other with equally dark eyes and clenched jaws. It's stupid to be thinking it at this moment, but seeing him this worked up and agitated is ridiculously hot. But never in a million years does she expect him to be thinking the same about her; given the reason they're fighting. So when he lunges forward to assert his hands on her waist and his lips onto hers she's completely caught off guard. He stumbles her backwards into the wall and pins her there for a while kissing her hard and heatedly. Her hands clamp his face to hers as his callus fingers start finding their way up the inside of her vest top.

She pushes them away from the wall and starts to guide them towards the stairway. His hands are all over her as he moans into her mouth and he picks her up with haste so she's straddling his waist as he carries her up the stairs. She stops for a moment in thinking purely about how fucking amazing it feels to be this close to him again, to acknowledge the symmetry with when they first slept together after his failed gig this time last year. She indulges the poetry of it all but it's not long before he's laying her down on his bed and she's forced to go back to focusing on how hot he's being right now.

She pulls his shirt up over his head in a rush to glide her hands over his naked torso and a similar thought fleets over his mind as he practically rips her clothes off her body. She manages to keep her hips grinding against his even while he's peeling her jeans off, desperate for him to get inside her. They're both already ready before they even get started which is good because neither are really feeling patient enough for foreplay. For a while she's scared that he's going to change his mind and reject her again so she plays it carefully, letting him take control and avoiding saying anything apart from moaning his name and some curse words. She definitely fears the worst when he pauses and looks down at her with dark, contemplating eyes but luckily for her he's just performing his usual habit of using his eyes to drink in the image of her before attaching his lips to the secret sensitive spot he knows drives her crazy on her collarbone and thrusting deep into her…

As she stirs into consciousness in the morning she starts to feel fucking amazing, reflecting on the night before. But before she even opens her eyes she knows he's not there next to her. He's not even in the house. There's a glass of milk with a post-it note attached with the simple words 'I'm sorry but I can't' scrawled in his handwriting on her bedside and she sits up to discover her clothes neatly folded over the edge of the bed. It's a giant kick in the nuts but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't told herself to expect this as she watched him fall asleep last night. God she wishes she'd woken up with him nuzzling her neck like he used to… But she doesn't blame him. She would have done the same.

Not wanting to have to face his parents (if they're even around, who knows), she quietly gets herself dressed and sneaks out to her car leaving the glass of milk untouched. She's snuck out of boys houses before plenty of times including Finn's, but not once had she ever come close to feeling as shitty as she was right now.

She tries calling him later in the day. There's no way last night was 'goodbye sex' or 'we're over sex' or anything like that, she refuses to allow it. He doesn't pick up but just before she goes to sleep she gets a text from him saying. 'I'm sorry about this morning. Last night shouldn't have happened. It was amazing but I think I need some space. Just wait for me to figure my head out ok.'

She gets more positive things out of that text than maybe she should. But he asked her to wait and she can, for as long as she needs to.

And the fact that her name escaped his lips over and over last night gives her hope that she might not have to wait that long...