25 - A Little Patience
BPOV
If Edward and I thought that moving in together would increase the time we spent as a family, we picked the wrong week to do it.
Life absolutely fucking exploded around us. Luke's computer had some sort of malfunction and erased two weeks' worth of data. We had the IT people on the phone for four hours trying to help us find a way to get it back only to be told we were out of luck. I still had a hard copy, but that meant at least three full days of re-entering all of the information; which meant extended days.
"God Dammit!" Luke yelled as he threw a dry erase marker across the room.
I startled, but responded without looking up from what I was doing. "Does it help to throw things?"
"Yes," he growled.
"Oh, then by all means."
"It's supposed to back up every Tuesday night. How the hell does it just decide to stop backing up?"
"I don't know, Luke, but it really doesn't matter at this point. Just sit your ass down and start inputting. Edward's coming back to get me at nine and I'm going home."
"Are you coming back tomorrow?"
I looked at him with an 'are you stupid' look. "Tomorrow's Thursday."
"I know, Bella, and I can tell her to stay in the Library, but I just can't get this all done in time without you."
I shook my head. "Give me what I can do from home and I will. Charlie's not in school tomorrow and Edward's going to be home in the morning. I'll skip the park and work all morning."
Luke gave a semi-relieved look and sat back down at his desk to work.
I was completely taken off guard when I heard a knocking a few hours later. Edward was standing over me, his fist pressed against the desk.
I smiled. "Hi," I said, letting out a breath.
He smiled crookedly. "You ready to go?"
"No, but I'm leaving anyway," I laughed without humor.
I stood up and grabbed my coat. "Oh, hey, Luke, this is Edward. Edward, this is my boss, Luke."
Luke threw out his hand and Edward met it firmly. I saw Luke flinch a little and knew that Edward was paying him back for ogling my chest. I tried to cover my smile with my hand.
"Sorry for keeping her like this," Luke apologized once Edward had let go. "She's my saving grace, I don't know what I'd do without her. "He shook his hand out and shoved it down below the desk.
"Ditto," Edward said, throwing his arm over my shoulder and kissing my temple.
"Same. Have a safe drive. And Bella?" I turned to face him. "Thank you."
"No problem, Luke. Give me a buzz in the morning and we'll touch base."
"Will do."
Edward's arm slid down my back, his hand resting on my hip as he allowed me to exit in front of him. It was with just the slightest hint of territorialism and I had to bite my lip to keep from giggling.
"So what the hell happened?" he asked in the car on the ride home.
"I have no freaking clue. Luke's computer is supposed to back up once a week, but for some reason it hasn't been. We lost all the data input for the last two weeks. Not to mention the methods section that took him six days to perfect."
"Shouldn't he have a back-up somewhere else?"
"He did. He had a flash drive that he backs up every night, but he can't find it."
"What do you mean, he can't find it."
I shrugged. "He can't find it. I don't know. He said it should have been in his bag. It wasn't there. He checked everywhere. He even drove home to search his house before we started re-inputting all of the data, but...nothing."
"Fuck. That sucks."
"Yeah. You're telling me. How was your day?"
"Busy. You'd think there was some announcement on TV that they had found a cure for the common cold and the PA free clinic was the only place to go. It was a fucking madhouse."
"How was Charlie?"
"Fine. Carlisle was off so he went to pick him up. I made spaghetti with meatballs for dinner."
I grinned. "Oh yeah? How'd that work for ya?"
Edward scowled and looked sideways at me. I suppose I hadn't ever explained some of the rules of dinner to him. Never give a three-year-old pasta sauce and slurping noodles at the same time. Well, at least not our three-year-old. You're going to be finding sauce in hidden places on both of you for days.
"I think that white shirt my mom bought for him last week might be a goner."
I choked back a laugh. "You let him wear a white shirt while eating spaghetti?"
"You know, you could make me list of do's and don'ts."
"I could, but it's so much more fun this way," I snickered.
Charlie was asleep by the time we got home and I followed shortly, having absolutely no energy for sex. Edward offered to relieve my tension with his mouth, but I couldn't even muster up the drive for that. I'm pretty sure that falling asleep while my boyfriend's tongue was inside of me would be considered a huge sexual faux pas.
That's how the next two days went as well. Edward took Charlie to the park with Esme on Thursday morning so that I could work and then he spent the rest of the day in front of the television watching movies. I felt horrible about that, but sometimes that's just the way it had to be. Despite four cups of coffee, I fell asleep on the sofa before Edward even finished putting Charlie to bed. I did wake up in my own bed the next morning so he must have moved me at some point.
Edward had taken on such an active role with Charlie. He didn't seem afraid to do what needed to be done or to try new things. We had become a right little family, doing what normal, healthy families did. I had learned to rely on him and found that I actually enjoyed having a partner in parenting. Something I had always been afraid of before. People probably never would have believed that we had started out on such unstable ground.
I had promised to take an hour to have lunch with Edward on Friday, but at eleven fifteen I got a phone call full of profanities.
"Someone broke into my motherfucking car!" He yelled frantically.
"Uh, what?" Was my brilliant response.
"My fucking car. Someone smashed in the window. The stereo's gone, the seats are torn to shreds. They even took Charlie's fucking car seat."
"Did you have anything important in there?"
"I don't know. I don't think so? Right now I'm too fucking pissed off to even remember."
"Did you call the cops?"
"Yeah, they're on their way. Fuck, Bella, I don't even think the thing is drivable. The steering wheel is all pulled out and hanging. There are wires everywhere. It even looks like someone tried to set it on fire."
"Holy shit. Are you okay?"
"Physically, yes. Mentally, if I ever find the fucker who did this, I'm going to rip him a part and burn the pieces."
"I'll call your mom and see if she can bring my car up. Just calm down and don't yell at the cops. It's not their fault and I don't want to have to bail you out of jail again."
The line was silent for a minute and then I heard Edward chuckle quietly. "Thanks a lot for that."
"Hmmm. I'll call you back in a few, okay?"
"Thanks, baby."
I hung up and rubbed my eyes. I couldn't help but smile to myself despite the situation. It was nice that we could joke about things that had once caused so much tension.
"What happened?" Luke asked from beside me.
"Someone broke into Edward's car. Took the stereo, the car seat, completely destroyed everything."
Luke grimaced. "Oh, crap!"
"Yeah. When it rains, it pours, and right now it feels like we're in the middle of a torrential downpour."
The rest of the afternoon went by at a snail's pace. I called Esme and she agreed to drive my car up to Edward. They would go get Charlie and run some errands before picking up Edward and then coming to get me.
The police had bagged and tagged everything they could from the car and then had it towed to their impound lot. They were going to do a second sweep and then Edward could decide if he wanted it towed to the local fix-it shop or to the scrap metal dump. Apparently whoever it was did more damage than Edward thought. The brake lines had been cut and something had been poured in the gas tank. A hooker who had been sitting just outside the clinic said she saw a guy in a dark hoodie and jeans peering in the windows, but that was all the lead they got.
When we got to the apartment, I sat down on the sofa and Edward collapsed practically on top of me. "This has been the shittiest week ever."
I ran my fingers through his hair. "Yep. It has."
"Please tell me it's over," he mumbled burying his face between my boobs.
I giggled. "Are you happy right there?"
He nodded and I didn't need to see his face to know that he was grinning. "Your body is my happy place."
"My body or my boobs?"
"Your whole damn body. Some places are happier than others, but right now, I'm good."
Charlie came into the room and stood next to where Edward and I were cuddling. Edward looked up as Charlie forced his way into my lap. The three of us sat together, Edward nuzzled into me and Charlie driving a little matchbox car all over the curves of his daddy's shoulders and head and occasionally onto me.
The next week was similar in craziness, although, we managed to avoid any huge disasters. Edward's car was a total loss. They would have had to replace too many vital parts, including the engine. I had no idea what had happened to it, but they said that if Edward had managed to actually get the car started, it could have exploded.
He managed to sell it to the scrap metal shop for about a thousand dollars. Apparently they were being generous, but considering it was a forty-thousand dollar car, I thought he got ripped off. The insurance company was offering him thirty-five, based on blue book value, plus a few extra hundred for the items that had been stolen out of it.
We planned to go shopping for a new one over the weekend.
Luke and I finally got caught up with all the work and he handed me an additional flash drive so that we both had a copy. I was to download everything that we had done at the end of every work day.
Saturday morning we headed over to my dad's place. Edward and my dad spoke quietly for a few minutes and I couldn't help but wonder what had transpired between them that they could speak in such an intimate manner. Their hands were still clasped from their handshake, but Dad's other hand was on Edward's shoulder and his head was bent in, listening and then speaking. He patted Edward on the shoulder firmly when they broke apart.
"What was that all about?" I asked as we headed to Seattle for the day to go look at a few car dealerships.
"What?"
"You and my dad?"
"Nothing. I asked him to check out a few things for me."
"About the car? What's he going to be able to see that the PA cops didn't?" I glanced at him, but since I was driving, I couldn't really see his expression.
"Don't worry about it, Bella, it's no big deal."
"What aren't you telling me?"
Edward grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. "If and when it becomes important, I will tell you. I don't want you to worry about anything right now, okay?"
I huffed, but agreed. "Do you know what Rose is planning to dress Charlie as for Halloween?"
"No, why would I know?"
I pursed my lips. "She won't tell me. I thought maybe Em would have said something to you."
"No," he grumbled. "He'll barely talk to me these days."
"That's weird."
"I know."
We went to the Volvo dealership, the Mercedes dealership and the BMW dealership. Edward absolutely refused to get a minivan.
"What exactly gave you the impression that I wanted a minivan?" I asked him with annoyed curiosity.
"Uh, I don't know. I was just...just making sure."
I shook my head. "It's your car, get what you want."
Edward hummed and pulled me into his side as we entered the first dealership.
Six hours later, we were heading home, Edward having purchased a BMW X5 in Deep Sea Blue Metallic with Leather seats and everything he could possibly want added in. I had to admit, it was a fucking beautiful car, but completely unnecessary. And $68,000. It was being shipped in from an out of state dealer and would be delivered just after Edward left for his interviews.
"What exactly gives you the impression that this car is going to be safer than your last one?" I asked as he signed the paperwork.
"Mrs. Cullen, the safety ratings are fantastic on this car," the salesman, Oscar, said assuredly.
Edward coughed out a laugh and covered his mouth with his hand. "Yeah, Mrs. Cullen, the ratings are amazing," he snickered.
I chose to ignore the jump in my heart rate at being called 'Mrs. Cullen' and focused on, or rather tried to focus on, what I had meant.
"I'm talking about the fact that your last car got completely vandalized and could have killed you."
"Oh, the X5 has a top of the line security system. It..."
"Thanks, Oscar," Edward said holding up a hand. "I can handle Mrs. Cullen from here, thanks. Can you give us a moment?"
"Oh, yeah, sure." Oscar stood up and shut the door behind him.
Edward yanked me into his lap. "Do you think he'd mind if I fucked you on his desk?" he asked attacking my mouth with vigor.
"Uh, I don't know," I panted, trying to keep up. "But I think I would, since the blinds are wide open and I don't need all those men out there ogling my ass. Or any other part of my body. What the hell has gotten into you?"
Edward stopped kissing me and rested his head against mine. "Phewf. Ah, nothing. I just appreciate you thinking about the safety of the car, that's all."
I stared at him skeptically. "Yeah...right."
I slipped off his lap and back into my own seat just as Oscar knocked timidly on the door.
"Everything okay in here?" He looked a little pink in the face and slightly embarrassed. It was almost as if he had overheard our conversation.
I looked over at Edward and he nodded. "Mmmhmm. Let's get this show on the road."
XXXXXXXX
Halloween.
It always seems like such a good idea when you're a kid. You get to dress up like something you've always wanted to be. And then all you have to do is knock on a strangers door and they give you candy. As a teenager, it's a way to create a little mischief. To dress in skimpy little clothes and pretend that it's perfectly okay that your ass is handing halfway out and your boobs are on display for any and all the guys to fantasize about. It's a time to let loose and enjoy the forbidden alcohol that so and so stole from his parent's secret stash.
As a parent, it's a whole different story. It's a time to spend way too much money on a costume that they're only going to wear for one night. You have to worry about what sorts of creeps are hanging around watching your kid and what exactly may be in that candy that they're handing out. Then there's the whole idea of the candy itself. Charlie's three-years-old. I can give him one piece of candy and he's happy. Why does he need a fucking orange pumpkin bucket?
I stood at the sink in the main house, grumbling to myself as I poured myself a glass of water. I never went to prom so Alice insisted that Edward and I dress as though we were going together. The catch, it was like we just stepped out of 1986. The dress she had me wearing, she had picked up at a vintage shop in PA for $40. It was a bright pink one shouldered knee length dress. The one shoulder strap had ruffles and the neckline was sweetheart style. It was sequins from the neckline down to the hips where it had a slanted waistline. Some of the sequins were different colors making them look like roses. From the waistline down were ruffles. Three fucking tiers of ruffles. I don't even know why I let her talk me into dressing up. I was taking my kid trick-or-treating and then going home and trying to hide all the candy so that he didn't OD on sugar.
She didn't even try to talk me into heels though. Instead, she included a pair of matching flats that looked like ballet slippers that she had dyed. Whatever, the whole damn thing was going back to the shop when I was done.
I heard a high pitched sound and turned around just as Alice wandered into the room pulling Jasper behind her. She was dressed like a monkey. She was wearing a little brown body suit with a tan belly and she had a hood with two little ears peeking out the top. To finish it all off, she had a little tail. She looked like Curious George.
Jasper, oh my. Jasper was dressed as a giant banana.
I snorted...loudly. "Where are you going?"
"Well, we're going with you first, and then we're going to a party for one of Jasper's colleagues," Alice grinned.
Jasper didn't look quite as happy. Edward chose that moment to come into the room. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Jasper and Alice.
"Holy shit!" He choked.
"Don't," Jasper warned.
I bit my lip as I watched Edward's face light up just before he barked out a laugh. He bent over. "Oh Fuck, Jazz, how did she talk you into that one?"
Alice scowled at Edward. "I did no such thing."
Jasper cleared his throat and looked at her accusingly.
"Okay, so I might have promised him a little something...as encouragement," she smiled sheepishly.
"Do I even want to know what that is?" Edward grimaced.
"No sir, you probably do not," Jasper said, waggling his eyebrows and sticking his tongue out through his teeth.
Edward covered his ears and approached me, pressing his face against my head.
"Make them stop," he pleaded.
I pulled away and appraised him. He was wearing a white tuxedo top and jacket with black slacks, and a pink cummerbund and bow-tie that matched my dress. On his feet were black and white Nike's.
He grinned. "Don't I look handsome?"
I coughed. "Oh, yeah, baby, you look hot," I attempted to feign seriousness.
"But, nothing compares to you," he crooned.
"Not quite the right decade, but close, sweetie," I said patting his cheek and stepping away.
Just then, Emmett walked into the room and nearly fucking lost it.
"Oh shit, Jazz. What did you let her do to you?"
"Shut the fuck up, Peter," Jasper taunted.
"Hey, at least I can fly."
"It's true to life," Rose smirked wrapping her arms around her husband. "He really is the boy who never grew up."
"Well, not yet anyway," Emmett smiled, kissing Rose on the forehead.
Rose stepped away. She was dressed as Tinkerbell and wore a short green mini-dress. Her hair was pulled up into a French twist at the back of her head and she was covered in glitter from head to toe. On her feet she wore matching green peep toed pumps.
Emmett, of course, was dressed as Peter Pan, complete with green tunic, tights, and the little hat on his head.
"I see now," I said, shaking my head.
"See now what?" Alice asked.
"Charlie!" I shouted.
Within minutes, my son bounded up from the basement and into the living room where we were all waiting. He was dressed as Captain Hook. He had a plastic hook in one hand and a sword in the other. A little black handlebar mustache was drawn over his upper lip.
"Awwww, little dude, you look soooo awesome," Emmett smiled, bending down to straighten Charlie's hat.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
Charlie nodded.
"You're gonna have a cousin."
My eyes grew wide as I looked at Rose. She smiled and nodded. "Oh, my God, are you serious?"
Alice squealed. Charlie looked around at us completely confused, having no idea what a cousin was.
"Auntie Rose is going to have a baby," I tried to explain to him.
Edward and Jasper high- fived Emmett and hugged him tightly. Emmett whispered something into Edward's ear that I couldn't hear and Edward nodded with a smile.
"How far along are you, when are you due?"
"We're only ten weeks. We're due June twenty-second."
"Hey, that's right after my birthday," Edward cheered. "A niece or nephew for me and Bella and a cousin for Charlie is the perfect birthday present."
Again I was hit by the unconscious way Edward spoke of our relationship. Rose must have noticed it too, because she caught my eye and winked.
"Do Mom and Dad know?" Alice clapped her hands.
"They've known for weeks," Rose rolled her eyes. "I swear, Esme is a witch."
"Well, you were trying right?" I asked.
"Yeah, but we've been trying for months. She took one look at me and started freaking out. We had only known for about two days."
Charlie had obviously grown bored of the conversation. He was holding onto Edward's hand and trying to swing himself. Edward appeared to be completely oblivious that he was being used as a jungle gym. He was too busy chatting with Emmett and Jasper.
"Are you okay with all of this, Bella?" Rose asked, softly placing her hand on my elbow.
I furrowed my brow. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
"I just...um."
Oh. OH!
"No, oh, hey, I'm good, Rose. It's good. I'm happy for you."
"Dudettes, we gots to go if Little C here is gonna get the best candy."
We all started to file out, but were stopped by Esme as she ran in dressed like a Geisha.
"Wait, wait. I have to get a picture," she insisted holding out her camera. We all posed and then she had to get four hundred photos of Charlie before we actually got out the door.
"Say Cheese," she said as Edward kissed my cheek.
"Thanks, ma," Edward groaned. "Don't get too crazy wild tonight."
Esme scoffed. "We're going to a party at the hospital administrator's house, I'm not sure getting crazy is in the cards."
"So who's attending to the patients at the hospital?" I asked.
"I don't know and I don't care. For the first time in years I have Carlisle all to myself on Halloween."
I completely understood Esme's position. Well, maybe not completely, but I understood. Being the Chief of Police, my dad was always being called in on special occasions and holidays. It was frustrating and I remember being really sad. Especially the Christmas Day when I was fifteen that he got called away from opening presents for a house fire. He apologized profusely and said he'd make it up to me, but I still spent the next four hours crying my eyes out.
Once we finally made it to the actual trick-or-treating part, I couldn't deny that I was having a good time. The six of us, laughed and joked and drank beer and hard liquor out of a brown paper bag as we walked from house to house with Charlie. Well, five of us drank, Rose declined for obvious reasons.
Once he figured out how it all worked, Charlie was literally shouting "Trick-or-Treat" before he even made it up to the doorstep and rang the doorbell, but the moment he was faced with the person handing out the candy, he forgot what he was supposed to say.
We all kept sneaking candy from his bucket and eating it along the way. Note to self, chocolate and beer doesn't really taste good together.
An hour later, we found ourselves back at the house. Rose and Emmett headed out to their party back in Port Townsend and Alice and Jasper to theirs.
Charlie had fallen asleep on Edward's shoulder on the walk back and neither one of us could be bothered enough to strip him of his costume, so we simply removed his hat and boots and put him into bed.
Edward closed the door to Charlie's room and followed me into our bedroom. He took off his coat and flicked on the iPod dock, fiddling around for a few minutes before soft music started playing.
I laughed. "Guns & Roses, Edward?"
He nodded. "It's our prom, we need to dance. And can I just tell you how much I fucking love you for knowing that?"
"It's all in the whistle," I teased.
He grabbed my hand and started to sway with me. As Axel Rose began to sing, so did Edward.
"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you. I'm still alright to smile. Girl, I think about you every day now. Was a time when I wasn't sure. But you set my mind at ease. There is no doubt. You're in my heart now
"Oh my God," I squeaked as he held me close. The words were so perfect for us.
"Said, woman, take it slow, it'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience. Said, sugar, make it slow, and we come together fine. All we need is just a little patience
His lips caressed my ear with his warm breath and I felt like I was about to melt.
"I sit here on the stairs. 'Cause I'd rather be alone. If I can't have you right now. I'll wait, dear. Sometimes I get so tense. But I can't speed up the time. But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider. Said, woman, take it slow and things will be just fine. You and I'll just use a little patience. Said, sugar, take the time, 'cause the lights are shining bright. You and I've got what it takes. To make it, We won't fake it, I'll never break it, 'cause I can't take it."
Edward swung me around and dipped me, kissing my cleavage as I squealed during the instrumental. He brought me up slowly and grinned.
"I Been walkin' the streets at night just tryin' to get it right. Hard to see with so many around you know I don't like being stuck in the crowd. And the streets don't change, but baby the name. I ain't got time for the game 'cause I need you. Yeah, yeah, but I need you. Oooh, I need you. All this time.
The song ended and Edward stopped moving.
"You're very romantic, you know that?" I giggled.
I felt the zipper on the back of my dress being drawn down, but his eyes never left mine.
He slipped the dress from my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at my feet leaving me in a strapless bra and panties.
"I have to admit, I'm a little nervous," Edward smiled crookedly. "It being my first time and all."
I laughed. "Are we going all out then?" I asked. "Playing the role to perfection?"
Edward waggled his eyebrows. I unsnapped his cummerbund and bow tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. When he was left in just his slacks, I unbuttoned them and then stepped back to admire.
"Where are you going?" Edward asked confused.
"Nowhere," I smiled walking to the edge of the bed.
Edward pressed his naked chest against my back and ran his hands up and down my arms, tickling the skin and causing me to break out into goose bumps.
"Are you really nervous?" I asked.
"Yes," he whispered.
"Why?"
"I'm afraid of messing up."
I turned in his arms. "Messing up what?"
"With you. I'm always afraid of messing up with you. Of not doing things the way you like. Of not treating you the way you deserve."
I put my hand on his chest and climbed up onto the bed on my knees. I pulled him with me.
"Never be afraid of that. We can't go through life expecting not to mess up with each other. As long as you love me, we can get through anything together."
He crawled after me, laying me down before stripping us both of the rest of our clothing.
I reached over to get a condom, but Edward grabbed my wrist to stop me. I couldn't read his expression when I looked back at him questioningly. He shook his head. Did he not want to have sex with me or was this simply him playing the part?
"We don't need it," he said in low, seductive voice. "I wasn't playing a role when I said it was my first time or that I was nervous."
I watched his face and let what he had just said sink in.
We don't need it? First time? Oh shit! Oh, oh, oh.
"Really?" I asked finally understanding what he was telling me.
He nodded, his lips turning into a cheeky grin.
"Everything is okay?"
He licked his lips, nodding again just once and then tilting his head.
My heart was suddenly beating really fast. A million questions were running through my head, but the moment Edward's lips met mine they were all silenced. I had no doubts, no fears that could ever compete with my love for that man.
"When did you find out?" I mumbled against his lips."
Edward sighed. "Heidi put it in my bag on Friday, I guess. I didn't find it until this morning. Can we stop talking now? You're kind of ruining the moment."
He brought his mouth back to mine and I hummed in agreement.
I had thought Edward felt amazing with a barrier between us, but the feel of him sheathing himself entirely within me without one was almost more than I could bear.
"Ooooohhhhhh fuck!" he moaned. "This is...this is...I can't. Bella, I gotta go hard. I'm sorry."
"Okay," I whimpered, sliding my hands underneath his and letting him get a little leverage. Edward went hard alright, but his every movement was done with purpose and seconds before he came, I lost myself to the metaphorical white lights and fireworks that accompany extremely intense orgasms.
When we both had regained our breath. Edward growled.
"Fuck, Bella, I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?"
"I've been having sex for almost ten years, you'd think I'd be able to at least go ten minutes; give you multiple orgasms; you know, be a super stud and all that."
I laughed and slapped his chest. "You liar," I feigned anger. "You told me this was your first time. Now I've given myself to you only to have you tell me you've been having sex for ten years?"
"Edward dug his fingers into my ribs, making me squirm and squeal."
"I love you more than you could ever know," he whispered, settling down into my side.
"I know," I joked lazily.
XXXXXXXX
Wednesday came way too fast for my liking. Edward's plane was scheduled to leave Sea-Tac at one in the afternoon, so at seven-thirty, we were all gathered in the main house to say our good-byes. Jasper was going to drive him up in his truck and then pick up some piece of antique furniture that Alice had bought. It saved them $250 in shipping and would only cost about $75 in gas so it was a win/win for everyone. They were scheduled to close on their house on Friday and Alice had spent two weeks buying new furniture to fill their house.
"I miss you, Daddy," Charlie said, squeezing Edward's neck tightly.
"I'll miss you too, buddy. But I'll be back before you know it, okay?"
Charlie nodded.
"You'll take care of your mommy for me until I get back?"
Charlie nodded again. "Uh huh."
"Good. I love you."
"I love you too."
I always found it odd that 'love' was one of the few words where Charlie could actually pronounce the 'l' sound.
Edward set Charlie down and Alice grabbed his hand.
"You be good," Alice said, patting Edward's cheek. "And be careful."
Edward smiled and kissed Alice softly. The look that passed between them didn't escape me. I swallowed thickly. I would have to ask Alice what that was all about, but right now I was simply trying not to bust out crying.
The minute Alice and Charlie were out of the room, Edward's arms wrapped around me, holding me to him so firmly that I could barely move.
"I don't want to go," he breathed into my neck.
"You have to go," I said, trying not to cry.
"No I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"Why?"
"Because this is your future," I sniffled.
Edward pulled back and looked at me. He put his hands on my face, cupping my jaw and brushing his thumbs across my cheeks. "No, Bella, it's not. This isn't just about me anymore, You have to know that. I don't exist without you and Charlie. I don't have to do this, because it doesn't matter, I won't be going without you. This is not my future, this is our future."
The tears that had been welling in my eyes, finally tipped over and spilled down my face. Edward caught them with his thumbs and wiped them away.
"Don't cry," he whispered, kissing my lips gently.
"I can't help it," I kind of hiccoughed. "You can't just say things like that."
"I'm gonna miss you the most."
"And that," I cried. "Stop talking."
"I'll call you when we get to Seattle."
"Okay."
"I love you."
"So much," I whispered.
Watching Edward leave was incredibly hard. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out and putting it into a food processor. It didn't feel right.
I kind of slept walked through the rest of the day. Dropping Charlie off at school, attempting to analyze the data at work. Edward called me at lunch to tell me that he was boarding his plane and would call when he got into Durham. His first interview was on Thursday, right about the time that Charlie and I would be at the park. I didn't even remember the drive home.
Edward called just after six, having just landed in DC. He had a quick layover and wanted to say goodnight to Charlie since he wouldn't land in North Carolina until after eight. I was a little jealous that the two talked so long that I didn't get a chance to, but I sucked it up for the sake of my child.
After I read to Charlie and kissed him goodnight, I avoided my bedroom. Edward called again when he touched down, but he had to grab his rental car and drive to his hotel and he sounded exhausted so I told him to just get some sleep and call me the next day after his interview. After I hung up I watched TV, I played Bejeweled, took a shower, and watched more TV. Finally around one a.m. I forced myself into bed only to jump right back up and sleep on the sofa.
Was I being pathetic? Yeah, probably. I'd spent four years on my own; just me and Charlie for the most part. But Edward was a part of us now. For the last few weeks, even when we didn't get to spend more than a few minutes together during the day, I knew that when I crawled into bed at night, his arms would automatically encompass me. I didn't want to sleep in my bed without him there anymore.
All morning, as Charlie zigged and zagged around the park with Carlisle chasing after him, my mind was in North Carolina. Specifically in some office or classroom on the Duke University campus.
When my phone buzzed I jumped to look at it, excited at the prospect that he was done already. What I read made me feel a little nauseous.
Bella, I've had enough of the avoidance. I'm coming down there. If Edward wants to kick my ass fine but I need to talk to you. ~Riley~
I reacted quickly without really thinking. I couldn't very well let him come to the home that Edward and I shared. I didn't want to disrespect Edward by allowing that. I also didn't think it was fair for Charlie to have to see Riley after so long and then not know if and when he would ever see him again.
No. Don't. I'll be up in Seattle tomorrow. I'll meet you for coffee. We can talk then. ~Bella~
His reply was almost instantaneous.
That's fine, but if you don't show up I'm heading straight to Forks. ~Riley~
I sighed. Edward wouldn't be happy, but I didn't have a choice anymore.
Starbucks Pike Place Market. 2:30. I'll be there. ~Bella~
I bit my lip. How the hell was I going to tell Edward?
A few hours later my phone buzzed again. I smiled to myself when I saw who it was.
"Hey, baby, how are you?"
"I'm going fucking crazy," Edward practically snarled.
"Why?" I asked alarmed.
"I can't see you, I can't touch you, I can't taste you."
I laughed. "Jesus Christ, Edward I thought something was actually wrong."
"Something is wrong. The questions they asked were really fucking hard. I fucking need you. I can get you on the red-eye out of Sea-Tac to JFK if you can get your shit together in the next forty-five minutes. Both of our flights get in at 9:30. I can meet you in the terminal and you can come with me. My interview is at noon and then we can have the whole weekend in the city before we head up to Boston."
Shit, he has it all planned out.
"I can't," I whimpered.
"Yes you can. I don't care how much it costs, I will pay it."
"No, I mean, Luke and I have got a huge meeting with the University department heads in Seattle tomorrow morning."
"Damn it," he groaned.
Ugg. He was already agitated. He was not going to take my news well, but I couldn't hide it from him.
"I need to tell you something."
"What?"
"Riley sent me another text."
"I swear to God, Bella, I'm going to file a restraining order against that fucker the second I get home. In fact, I'm calling your dad."
"Edward, stop."
"Did he not get the message? Does he really think that I'm playing around?"
"I told him I'd meet him."
"What?"
Edward's voice was raging and I flinched.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
"I told him I'd meet him for coffee while I was there."
"Why the fuck would you do that?"
"Because I need to."
"Really, Bella? You need to? You put this off intentionally, didn't you? You were waiting for me to leave. That's why you encouraged me to go."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Edward. Of course I didn't. I've been ignoring him for a month. He texted me this morning and said he was coming here whether I wanted him to or not. Would you rather he come to the apartment?"
"No, I don't want you seeing him at all."
"Why?"
"Because he's an asshole."
"Or is it because you don't trust me?"
Edward was silent, making me question whether I had hit the nail on the head.
"I do trust you."
"Then trust me to handle Riley. We're meeting in a public place. I'm not bringing Charlie. I'm telling you about it before it happens."
"What are you going to tell him?"
"The truth. That you are and will always be the only man I love."
Edward sighed and I didn't need to see his face to know what was there.
"I wish you would wait."
"Will you let me do it on my own if I do?"
"No."
"I can't have you starting a fight, Edward."
"And I can't have that motherfucker thinking that because I'm out of town that he can make a move on my girl."
"He doesn't even know you're out of town, I didn't tell him."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why didn't you tell him?"
"Because it's none of his business. It shouldn't matter to him whether you're here, there, or anywhere in between. I'm yours. Only yours."
"Fuck!" he muttered under his breath. "I hate this. I shouldn't have left."
"Please don't. Yes, you should have left. Luke wants to leave by three-thirty and I'm meeting Riley at 2:30. I'll ask Luke to hang out so if I need him, he's there."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Edward. I promise you everything will be fine. If nothing else, I can get some closure."
He made an unhappy sound, but then grunted out a 'fine'.
We talked for another hour about his interview before he had a quick chat with Charlie and then got off the phone to go get some dinner.
That night I cuddled up with my son in his bed, setting my phone alarm to wake me, just in case.
I had to head out extra early on Friday morning. Jasper and Alice were both taking the day off to sign on their new house and offered to take Charlie to school, pick him up, and look after him until I got back from Seattle.
Edward called me on the drive to tell me that he had gotten into JFK and was heading over to the University. Since I wasn't able to fly out there, he was just going to head up to Boston and stay in Carlisle and Esme's brownstone for the weekend. He seemed a little distant and I didn't know if he was distracted by the fact that he was about to do another interview or from knowing that I was going to be meeting up with Riley.
I pulled into my office at half past seven. Luke and I were meeting there and then I was driving us to Seattle where we would meet with the Psychology department heads at twelve-thirty.
When I got to my desk, there was an unmarked envelope sitting on top of my desk calendar.
"What's this?" I asked Luke as I picked it up and turned it over.
"I don't know. I just got here about ten minutes ago."
I tore open the corner and slid my finger underneath the edge hissing as it sliced through the tip of my finger. "Shit!" I shoved the tip of my finger in my mouth and sucked on it.
"You okay?"
"Yes. Paper cut," I sighed pulling my finger from my mouth and holding it up as if he could see the cut from twenty feet away.
I finished opening the envelope and fished out what was inside.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I screamed, dropping everything onto my desk as if it had burnt me.
Luke jumped out of his chair. He practically sprinted to me and reached for the papers, but I snatched them up.
"NO!" I said pushing him away and snatching up the photos.
"What the hell? What is it?"
I wasn't sure if I should start crying or go hunt that bitch Cammy down and ram my fist down her throat. I was equally devastated and furious at the same time.
"Luke, if that bitch ends up dead, I will be the first one to celebrate" I growled.
"Not the first one," Luke grumbled before realization of what I was holding hit him. "Oh, fuck, Bella. Are those what I think they are?"
I nodded, gripping the photos tightly in my hand, refusing to actually look at them. All I had seen was Edward's face and naked body. I couldn't tell you if he was awake or asleep or any other detail, including if he was...aroused or not. I could only imagine that they must have gotten worse.
I counted the corners. There were four photos all together. There was a post it note stuck to the back of the last one that read.
Bella, this one's my favorite.
I shoved them all back into the envelope. Luke was looking at me hesitantly.
"Are you going to be able to do what we need to do today?"
I scowled at him. "Of course I fucking am."
He held out his hands in surrender. "Look, I'm just asking. This meeting is important."
"I know it is. So does she." The realization that Cammy was attempting to throw me off my game pissed me off even further.
Luke sighed. "She's just trying to fuck with you."
"Yeah? Really? What gave you that impression?" I ran my shaking hands through my scalp and pulled at my hair. "Well I'm gonna fuck her up the next time I see her, then we'll be even."
I wasn't sure if I had ever in my life been as angry as I was in that moment. Not even Edward in his worst moments had tempted the violence that I felt towards that woman. I wasn't a violent person, but if she had walked into that room at that moment, I wouldn't have hesitated in ending her.
"Let's, um, let's go, Bella."
I put the envelope into my bag with the rest of my things and stormed out of the office with Luke following me.
We arrived in Seattle about half an hour before our meeting and grabbed sandwiches at a little bistro across the street from the building where we would update our funders on our progress and potential findings.
It was pretty basic and everyone seemed to be thrilled with what we were doing. One of the professors asked where Cammy was and Luke was able to brush off her absence saying that she wasn't well. Just the mention of her name made my blood boil and I had to bite my tongue to not make a completely inappropriate comment.
Afterwards, we drove to Pike Place. Luke and I discussed all sorts of things, mostly about him. I was actually surprised to find out that he had been married for ten years, but they divorced a year before when she decided to tell him that she didn't want children. It had devastated him and he had only taken off his wedding ring when he started dating. He didn't mention who he had started dating, but I knew the answer.
Stupid, fucking bitch.
At a little after two, we headed to the Starbucks and waited. Eventually, I saw Riley come in. He went to the counter and ordered himself a drink before spotting me.
"Hi, Bella," he said quietly as he stood over the table.
I looked up and smiled sadly. "Hi, Riley."
I stayed seated so as not to encourage him to hug me. I knew that's what he wanted.
"This is Luke, my boss," I explained motioning to my left. "We had a meeting at the University today."
"Hey," Riley said offering his hand in greeting.
Luke shook it and then looked at me. "I'll just be over there. Let me know when you're ready to head home."
"Thanks," I nodded.
Luke got up to leave and Riley sat down in his seat. He took a sip of his coffee.
"Thanks for meeting me," he mumbled.
"You didn't give me much of an option."
"Well, you weren't giving me much of one either. Edward must be keeping you on a tight leash."
"You know what, I don't have to do this," I said, standing up and getting ready to leave.
"Wait," Riley almost yelped. "Look, I'm a little bitter. I can't always help what comes out of my mouth, you know that."
I sat back down, noticing that Luke's eyes were on me. I shook my head at him to let him know that I was okay.
"It was my decision not to communicate with you. What you said to me was cruel and hurtful."
"Bella, I am so sorry. You have to know that. I would never intentionally hurt you like I did. I was just upset and it all just came spewing out."
"I get that, Riley. I do, but you crossed a line. You crossed a lot of lines."
"I know I did. I was desperate. I was losing you."
I took a deep breath and let it out again. "You never had me."
Riley's eyes closed tightly and he swallowed. "I had you as a friend."
"And that's where it should have stayed. I never should have let it go. I knew that when you suggested it, but...but at the time it, it just worked."
"When did it stop working?"
"I don't know."
"Cause before Edward started playing daddy, it seemed like it was working just fine."
I could hear the venom and jealousy in his voice, but all it did was tick me off.
"Look," I snapped. "If all you're going to do is sit here and criticize me for being in love with the father of my child, then you can go fuck yourself."
"I don't understand how that happened. How is he so different from that guy you hated?"
"I hated him because it hurt less than admitting that I loved him. The more I told myself and everyone else what an asshole he was, the easier it was to justify keeping his son from him. But I was wrong, Riley. I was really. Fucking. Wrong."
"You weren't wrong."
"I was. You don't know his story. You don't know what happened to him. And you throwing it in his face that you were there when he wasn't, was completely repugnant."
Riley stared at me, his mouth open as if he were going to respond, but he stayed silent.
"Do you know how often I regret taking that from him? Do have any idea what I would give to go back and let him be there for his baby's birth? I can see it in his eyes when he looks at Charlie. The love he has for his little boy is devastating."
"What about the love I have for him, Bella," Riley choked. "I was there. And no, I guess that I didn't ever earn the right to be called his daddy, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't do anything and everything that his daddy would do for him."
"YOU. ARE. NOT. HIS. FATHER!"
We were garnering attention now. Several people around us were whispering and pointing. Luke was once again watching us and looked like he was prepared to step in if I needed him to.
I lowered my voice again. "I am sorry that I let you believe that you could fill that role for him. I am sorry that I couldn't be what you needed. And I am so, so sorry that I've hurt you. But Edward is my life; he's our life, and I am unequivocally in love with him. There never has been and never will be anyone else for me."
Riley's head sank and he rubbed his eyes.
"Okay."
I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.
"Okay? That's it? "
"What else do you want me to say? That I'm happy that you've chosen him over me? That I wish you all the luck and love because you both deserve it? That's not how I fucking feel. I feel like you've strung me along for four years 'just in case' no one better came along."
"I never strung you along," I countered. "We agreed, Riley. We agreed that if either one of us felt more or if we felt something for someone else, it would end. You lied to me. You can't throw it back in my face now."
"I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell you."
"It's the same fucking thing?"
"It's not. But it doesn't matter anymore. I love you, Bella. And if this is really what you want; if he is really what you want, then I'll stay back. I won't interfere."
"That's what I want," I sighed.
"Um, will you tell little man that I love him?"
"I'll tell him that you said hi. I don't want to confuse him, Ri."
He nodded. "Will I ever get to see him again?"
I bit my lip. "We need time to grow as a family, but I won't let him forget you."
Riley's eyes were glossed over as though he were about to cry, but he didn't.
"Luke and I need to get back."
"Yeah. I'll, um, okay. Look, tell Edward that I'm sorry I was an asshole. I'm not sorry I punched him; he deserved it after what he said, but I'm sorry that I said all that shit."
"Okay. Uh, what exactly did he say?"
I had almost forgotten that Edward hadn't ever told me what he really said.
"He said that he was taking back what was his and that me and my...that I couldn't compete."
I nodded. I could fill in the blanks. Edward was staking his claim, even before he told me how he felt. I couldn't really be mad, because it truth, that's exactly what he had done, but I would definitely have to think up a way to give him a little bit of shit for it.
Riley set his hand on top of mine hesitantly and looked at me once before standing and walking away. There was no 'goodbye' or 'see you later'. Not even a glance backward as he exited the shop.
"You ready to go?" Luke asked, resting his hand on my upper back.
I nodded, not quite sure if I could actually speak at the moment. I wasn't sure what it was meant to feel like to let someone you cared about go, not knowing if you'd ever see them again. It was an odd mixture of relief and pain.
"Yeah, let's go."
XXXXXXXX
When we got back, there was a shiny new BMW sitting in the driveway. I smiled, knowing how excited Edward would be when he got home.
There were also a whole slew of other cars including my dad's cruiser. I decided to head in to the main house, knowing that everyone would be gathered there. I heard laughter and chatter the moment the door opened and found not only all of the Cullens and my father, but Jake and Claire as well.
"Hey, baby girl," Jake boomed, running up to me and swooping me up into a giant bear hug.
"What are you doing here?"
"I saw them at the Thriftway," Esme explained. "Told them I wouldn't take no for an answer."
"Yeah, she wasn't very nice about it either," Jake winked.
"Oh, hush, you," Esme scolded.
I kissed Claire on the cheek and nuzzled Charlie's neck. He was sitting on a kitchen stool eating a bowl of angel food cake with strawberries.
"So, what's the occasion?" I asked, stealing a strawberry and popping it into my mouth.
Alice grinned and put her hand up to her chin. "I have no idea," she said wiggling her fingers.
"Ahhhhhh!" I screamed running over to her, completely ignoring the giggles and laughter around me. "Serious?"
"Serious," Alice chirped.
"Oh my God! Congratulations," I said hugging both Alice and Jasper tightly.
"Edward didn't tell you?" Jasper asked.
"He knew?"
"Yeah, I told him a while ago that I was gonna do it. I thought for sure he wouldn't be able to keep it from you."
I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "Nope. He didn't tell me."
"Babies and weddings and medical school. I think I've hit the mother's jackpot," Esme laughed.
"Speaking of medical schools, have you heard from E today?" Emmett asked.
Huh. Wow. I had been so wrapped up in the drama of the day that I hadn't even noticed that I hadn't heard from him since he got into New York.
"Yeah, he called this morning when he got into JFK."
Carlisle furrowed his brow. "You haven't heard from him since then?"
I shook my head. "I don't think so, unless he texted me and I didn't hear it."
I pulled my phone out of my purse and looked at it. It was completely dead.
"Oh, shit. Uh, guys I'll be right back."
I ran out the door and to the apartment. I was in such a hurry to plug my phone in and call Edward that I didn't even notice that the door was unlocked.
I rummaged through "the junk drawer" and finally pulled out my power cord. It took about five minutes until my phone would power up enough for me to turn it on, but when it did, I groaned.
16 missed calls
12 missed text messages
8 voicemail messages
"Fuck!" I shouted.
I scrolled through them. Four of the missed calls were from blocked numbers, but the rest were all from Edward.
The text messages started out fine, but then turned frantic.
Hey, baby, about to head into my interview. Wish me luck. ~E~
Just got out. That was grueling. Will call. ~E~
Hope you're okay. Heading up to Boston now. Love you. ~E~
Where the hell are you? I miss you. ~E~
In Boston. Getting worried. Call me. ~E~
They went on and on getting more upset. Most of them sounded worried, and then I hit the last one, sent about a half hour before I got home.
Going out. Will be out late. Don't wait up for a call.
"Shit, shit, shit."
I dialed Edward's phone frantically.
This is Edward, you know what to do.
"Edward. Damn it." I started. "My phone must have died and the day was so crazy I didn't even realize it. Please call me."
I sent a text too, hoping that maybe it would get to him faster.
Phone died while in Seattle. I hope your interview went okay. I miss you. I love you. Call me. ~Bella~
I went back to the main house without listening to my voicemails. I assured everyone that Edward was fine and that my phone had just died, but inside my gut was twisting. He was mad. He knew I was meeting with Riley and then I never responded to his messages.
Charlie and I hung out for another couple of hours before heading back to the apartment. The entire time I was on edge. This wasn't good.
Nothing seemed out of place when we walked through the door. It wasn't until I stepped into his room to get his pajamas that I noticed that something was off. His drawers were pulled open and there were clothes missing from all of them. I looked around the room, noticing other little bits and bobs that were missing, but I couldn't peg exactly what they were.
I ran into Edward's and my bedroom to see if anything was missing from there and was nearly knocked backwards by the sight in front of me. The room was trashed. Curtains pulled down, comforter across the room, sheets torn up. Pictures that had been on the wall were smashed and glass was littered all over the place. I threw my hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming.
I booked it back to the living room, picked up Charlie and ran as fast as I could, barefoot, to the main house. Everyone was still except for Jake and Claire and they all stared at me and what I'm sure was my pale or maybe even green face. I felt like vomiting.
"Bells?" My dad called me.
I handed Charlie to Rose. "Take him out, please," I begged. She nodded and headed down to the basement.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Esme asked in a tone that I could tell was hiding fear.
"The apartment," I choked out. "Someone broke into the apartment."
"What? Who?" Alice asked.
"I...I don't...I don't know."
"Are you sure?" Carlisle looked unsure.
"Yeah. I'm sure. Some of Charlie's things are missing and my room is destroyed."
"Destroyed?"
"Let's go look," my dad said to Carlisle. The two men left along with Jasper and Emmett and I sat with Esme and Alice, trying to control the need to freak out. Esme made me a cup of decaf and sat next to me, running her hands through my hair and whispering words of comfort that I didn't really hear.
What seemed like hours later, but was probably less than twenty minutes, all four men appeared.
"I've called it in," Dad said.
"How is that possible?" Esme murmured to her husband.
"No one was home for a huge portion of the day."
"But why not hit our house too? That would have been far more lucrative."
I didn't hear Carlisle answer.
"I'll go put Charlie to bed upstairs, okay, sweetheart?" Esme cooed in my ear.
All I could do was nod. I needed to call Edward again, but my phone was still plugged in, in the kitchen.
"Daddy, can you go get my phone and charger please? It's in the kitchen."
He nodded and when he came back, I could see the lights from additional police cruisers outside. I tried calling Edward again, with no response.
"Baby, I need you to call me. I think someone broke into the apartment," I sobbed. "Please?" I added softly before hanging up.
It took three hours for the police to do everything that they needed to do. By the time they cleared the apartment, it was after midnight and I refused to go back. Alice offered me some of her pajamas and I curled up in the guest room and fell asleep.
I was woken up at seven a.m. by my phone's very loud ring tone.
"Bella?" Edward's voice was scratchy and raw like he had just woken up. "Bella, oh God, baby, I am so sorry."