NELLY CARTER
As soon as Castiel leaves, Rosalya rejoins me, squealing with excitement. She grabs my hand to look at the ring, but screams when it isn't there.
"What happened!? Where'd it go?" she shrieks. I pull the chain out from under my shirt and show it to her, and she sighs in relief.
"Oh, good. I thought he'd revoked his proposal or something."
"Nope. Just don't want Mom and Simon to find out."
"Well, why not? It's exciting!"
"Well, we're running away after school."
"You're...oh, Nelly, that's so romantic! I'm going to ask Leigh to run away with me..." she sighs dreamily, gazing off into the distance.
"But there's nothing wrong with your relationship," I laugh.
"There's nothing wrong with yours, either!"
"Well, not with us, but our parents wouldn't be too excited."
"Oh...we got a Romeo and Juliet thing going on here, do we?"
"No, we don't. But just leave it, okay?"
"Leave it!? My best girlfriend is engaged! Come one, we're going dress shopping right now."
"It's an elope, Rosa. I don't think I need a dress for that."
"Well, not a fancy one, maybe, but I'm sure Leigh will have some cute white cocktail dresses or something."
"I really don't want to right now..."
"Then when are we going to get your dress? You're leaving to go back to school tomorrow!"
"I'll get it with you, I promise."
When Mom and Simon get home, Rosalya leaves, and I retreat to my room with a bagel serving as my dinner. I'm beginning to get a gnawing feeling in my stomach about going to Castiel's house. I just...I don't think it will work. I love him so much, but the idea of going against everyone is so scary. Living in my boyfriend's house, skipping school...
I have to do it though, don't I? Castiel's right, Evan had started following me around town. It's only a matter of time before he drugs me. He's entirely capable of doing it, too. I'm not sure if there's anything he's not capable of. I can't go back to Tristan Academy, Castiel's my only choice.
Mom and Simon come in to say goodnight and that they hope I had a good day with my friends. I tell them I did with a fake smile, and then I lie awake all night, both looking forward to and dreading tomorrow.
The morning comes too soon, and I wake up feeling nauseous. Today's the day. The day I'm supposed to go back to TA, and the day I'm going to my boyfriend's house instead. The last day before my boyfriend goes back to Sweet Amoris. I should be going there, with him, but I guess some things just don't work out.
I text Rosa, Kim, Lysander, and Leigh all the same message: hey, might not be able to text for a while because I'm gonna be super busy with skl and I heard they take away phones...email me! Xoxo Nelly
Lysander: Okay, Nelly. Have a good time at school and we'll miss you.
Rosalya: they take away your phone!? That sucks!
Kim: alrighty, see yah little girl
Leigh: That's fine, but I still want those pictures. Am I allowed to send them to Castiel now?
I pack a few things in a duffel bag and get dressed, wearing only a plain blue t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of white high tops. I can feel the cool metals of my engagement ring, the red guitar, and Castiel's initial against my chest, weighing down on my already troubled heart. I hope everything works.
Mom made pancakes and bacon for breakfast, so we have a mini-feast, and I act like an angel since I'll be breaking their hearts in only a matter of hours. When we're saying our goodbyes, I get an idea about how to keep in touch.
I'll write letters to them. Not just one, but consistently. Letters with no return address, that way they'll know I'm okay. They'll still search Rosa's apartment and Castiel's house and Leigh and Lysander's house and Kim's house, but they won't find me. Maybe I can have Castiel bring letters back to me.
No, I won't do that to him. He wouldn't want to be a messenger. But maybe letters would keep the police from hounding down on us later on.
"I love you, sweetie," Mom whispers in my ear.
"Love you, too," I mumble. I actually let Simon hug me, and they stand in the doorway with their arms around each other as I pull away, driving to Sweet Amoris instead of Tristan Academy, where Castiel will be waiting for me.
He's already there in his new car when I pull up, and he transfers my few bags to his car without a word, as if he finally understands the full weight of the situation. The only contact we have is a lingering hug when I arrive, and the only thing he tells me to do is to leave my phone on the driver's seat. I've already written a note telling Simon and Mom that I can't go to TA, but that I'm safe, so I put that on the dashboard. Then I climb into the passenger seat of Castiel's car, and we're gone.
I tell him about my idea about the letters.
"That's a good idea, actually," he says quietly. "But what if they think you've been kidnapped and someone is forcing you to write them?"
"I could tell them you know where I am...?" I say the first thing that comes to mind. "That you know I'm okay?"
"You're so stupid sometimes. Wouldn't they know then that you're with me?"
"No. You could say I'm not with you, but you know where I am."
"I could easily get arrested for keeping you from them."
"I'll write secrets in the letters, then," I say. "Things only they would know about me to prove it. It's a delicate situation, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is."
"And you're still sure that we're doing the right thing?"
"I've never been more sure, princess."
He's so tense right now. When he gets nervous, he just shuts down, but when I get nervous, I can't shut up. So I babble on and on about music and movies and roller coasters until we get to his house and he asks me to please be quiet so his parents don't see me. To ensure that there's only one set of footsteps, he insists on picking me up and carrying me bridal style to his room. His parents are in the kitchen eating, but we manage to make it safely upstairs by entering through the front door.
Castiel lays me down on his bed with a smirk and leans down to kiss me. He reaches his hand down my shirt and pulls up my necklace, setting it on top of the fabric.
"I'm going to bring your bag up," he whispers, "and then I'm going to get the car washed in case the police are obsessive and try dusting for your fingerprints. You can stay here. Hide in the closet if you hear my parents come up."
"Don't miss me too much," I wink as he backs out of the room. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head in dismay.
"Shut up."
He comes back in moments later with my bag and hides it under a pile of clothes in his closet before leaving again.
"Castiel! Where are you going again!" the shrill voice of his mother calls. I tense, afraid that she's onto us already.
"I forgot to wash the car," Castiel calls back. "I want to show it off tomorrow, you know?"
"Oh, what a lovely idea! Go on, darling!" I hear the front door slam shut, and the sound of the car's engine as he drives away.
I get up out of the bed and tiptoe over to the window, sliding back the dark curtain and peering outside. Watching Castiel drive away, none of it seems real. Even he doesn't seem real. I still can't believe he cares enough about me to let me live with him.
With nothing else to do, I decide to explore my new home. I've been in Castiel's room many times before, but I've never really had a good look around. He has a double bed, adorned with a simple black comforter trimmed in red, with two exceptionally fluffy pillows sitting on top. The walls are a light shade of gray, and most of them are covered with either Winged Skulls or Imagine Dragons posters. There's also one for Bon Jovi and ACDC. To the right of his bed, there's a dresser covered in hair products (Cas has always a been slightly obsessive about his hair), and spare coins, as well as a couple pictures of him from his childhood. He was just as adorable back then. On the other side is a small bookshelf lined with movies instead of books. There are a couple books there, but they all look like they haven't even been opened, so I'm guessing they were thoughtless gifts. Against the remaining wall is his desk, which is pretty simple in itself, but is a mess on top. Several school assignments mask the surface almost completely, along with a variety of pens and pencils, and of course, his laptop. His electric guitar and amplifier are against the wall, acting as a bedside table. Overall, the entire room is a mess. The bed isn't made, and clothes are strung all over the place, but what did I expect from a teenage boy's room?
As I explore farther and take a closer look at things, I make more unusual discoveries. On his desk is a picture of me on the roof of Sweet Amoris, playing on my guitar. I don't ever remember him taking that picture; I must have been too absorbed with the music to notice. My yearbook picture from this year is right beside his on top of the bookshelf. On the actual shelves, the movies are ordered in the exact order that we've watched them. I can see that the mirror above the dresser is broken; a long crack runs from the top to the bottom, but tucked into the frame at the top is half of the photo strip of us that we took on a movie date. I had told him that we just had to be cliché and do it, and even though he protested, he still took the last four photos and, apparently, put them in his mirror. Upon farther examination, I see that his amp is broken and the guitar strings are wearing thin. When I open his laptop, I see wedding plans for June 10th at the Carlton Hotel in New York, which makes my heart jump. He's already made plans? I also see a sliver of blue peeking out from underneath one of his pillows, and I end up pulling out my blue tank top, the one he kept right before I left. He kept it? Without thinking, I pull my t-shirt off and replace it with the tank top.
There are little things related to me all over the place. If I still didn't believe he loved me, this would prove it. With a sly smile, I retrieve my half of the photo strip and the picture of him from Rosa from my bag, placing the photo strip on the other side of his mirror and the picture next to the one of me on the guitar. I also still have the picture Amber took of us, so I hunt down a piece of tap and put it on the wall, right next to Mr. Bon Jovi. Looking at that picture still makes me blush, but I love it anyways. It's funny, seeing Castiel with red hair again, because I've almost gotten used to the brown.
The last thing I do is unhook my necklace and take off the engagement ring, sliding it onto my finger. I've never liked sparkly things, but there's just something about this one. I love it. It may be that I just love it because Castiel picked it out for me, but that doesn't make much of a difference.
Once I'm done with everything I feel like I need to do, I sit down at Cas's desk and find a sheet of loose leaf paper and a sharpened pencil to begin composing my first letter to Mom and Simon. They deserve more than a tiny note.
Dear Mom and Simon,
This is Nelly.
First off, I'm absolutely fine. I haven't been kidnapped, and I'm not being held against my will, I'm just in hiding because I can't go back to TA. Some things happened there you wouldn't understand. I'm sorry that I didn't feel like I could talk to you about it, but please don't worry about me. I'll come back at the end of the school year, and, since I can't go to Sweet Amoris anymore, I'll finish up my schooling online. I know this is probably a pointless request, but please don't call the police. I'm not with Castiel or Rosa or Lysander or Kim; I'm by myself and they don't know where I am, so don't make them freak out. I'm safe, I have money, and I promise I'm not being forced to write this letter. To try and prove it, Mom, I know that Dad wanted to name me Mariah Caroline but you wouldn't let him because you don't like Mariah Carey.
Simon, please don't give Castiel hell over me. He honestly doesn't know where I am. If I told him, he'd probably run away and try to get to me, and I'm not going to let him do that. Despite what you guys think, we really are in love. Simon, maybe you could tell him I love him for me at school? ...Yeah, I didn't think so. But it was worth a shot.
Mom, I love you and I miss you, and I'm really sorry for putting you guys through this, but I promise it's for the best. In a little over a month I'll be eighteen anyways and it'll be legal for me to live on my own. I know you're both probably freaking out right now, but I'll try and write you guys regularly just to check in. But be warned: I won't have much to say. Sorry again, and I'll see you both soon, okay? Don't worry about me, I'll let you know if something bad happens, promise.
Xoxo Nelly
There. That should be good. I fold up the piece of paper and, by some miracle, find an envelope and a stamp in one of Castiel's desk drawers. I pretty much flat out lied about not being with Castiel, and I hope my lie seems believable, but I don't really know. It's probably a really cheesy letter, and I'm not going to show it to Castiel because he'll just make fun of me, but he can mail it tomorrow morning, or maybe I'll have him take it to school early and put it on Simon's desk. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Tristan Academy won't call them until tomorrow morning to say I never showed up, and I want to make sure they have the letter before then. I scribble the address on the front and put the stamp on, and when I'm done with that I attempt to clean Castiel's room a little bit to get rid of the nervous energy. I'm so scared of being caught.
It was about eight in the morning when I got here, and Castiel comes home around noon with a bag of Subway sandwiches and a few other bags containing who knows what. He gives me a quick hug and shoves me down on the floor, sitting across from me with his back to the door.
"Mom and Dad are out," he says, tossing me my sandwich. "Don't worry about being quiet."
"Oh, good," I sigh, taking a huge bite. "Thanks for lunch," I say with my mouth full. He smiles and starts pulling things out of the other bag.
"So, I don't really know what the average girl needs..." he begins, "being a man, and all. But I figured you might need some of these disgusting things..." he pulls tosses a bag of pads and a box of tampons at me with a smirk, and I almost choke on my sandwich laughing. "I didn't know which you wanted."
"You could've called," I tell him, still laughing.
"'Hey, princess, what brand of feminine hygiene products do you use?' 'Oh, well I usually have a really heavy flow...' No way, not happening," Castiel says, acting out a mock phone call. He makes 'my' voice really high and annoying sounding. I start giggling again; I never thought I'd hear him say those words.
"I do not sound like that," I protest.
"Sure you do. I also got these..." he tosses a pink can of shaving cream and a package of Venus razors at me next. "Oh, and these. Can't have you smelling like me." Next he pulls out body wash, shampoo, and conditioner, all vanilla scented. Aww, he knows it's my favorite. How sweet.
"Cool, thanks," I say, taking a sip of my lemonade.
"And I assume you brought your own deodorant," Castiel finishes, leaning against his door and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes, I brought my own deodorant," I drawl, rolling my eyes. "Thanks, though, I didn't expect you to get all this stuff."
"Why wouldn't I? I have to take care of my wife, right?"
"Your wife can take care of herself, hotshot."
"She can't if she can't even leave my room for the next two weeks."
"True..." I sigh. "Well, thanks. What's in there?" I point to the last bag, the only one he hasn't opened yet.
"Oh, I needed some new pajamas. Figured I should actually sleep with a shirt since you're here," he says, finishing off his sandwich. I can tell he's lying through his teeth.
"Can I see?" I ask sweetly.
"Nope."
"Why not?"
"Because I also got you a present."
"I'm not allowed to see my own present?"
"Fine," he sighs. He digs through the bag and retrieves a set of blue striped pajamas. "This is for you..." he throws the blue material at me and I hold it up in front of my face. It's nothing out of this world; just a cute pair of pajamas, but I like them. "And this is for me," Castiel adds, taking something else out of the bag. I put the pajamas down on my lap to see what he's holding.
"Castiel!" I scream. "What the hell?"
"What, you don't like it?" he jokes, tossing the lingerie at me as well. My face turns beet red as I hold it up. It's pretty, for lingerie, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a navy blue lace thong with a see-through flyaway babydoll top, and that my seventeen-almost-eighteen-year-old boyfriend bought it for me.
"How do you even know my size?" I ask in awe, peering at the tag.
"You honestly think I don't know my own girlfriend's bra size?"
"Well, I guess I'd trust you to figure it out. But you honestly expect me to wear this?"
"I can easily take it back."
"No..." I say, turning the small articles of clothing around in my hands. "I'll keep it, I guess. But I thought you said you got things for yourself."
"I did. I got all these," he says, taking out a handful of t-shirts. "This is for you too, actually." He holds up an Imagine Dragons t-shirt, and I squeal.
"I've been wanting one of those! Thank you!" I snatch the t-shirt from him and hold it to my chest. "But no more buying me things, okay?"
"Deal. I'm broke now."
"Cas!"
"Kidding. But I won't buy you anything else until you need it."
"Good. Hey, can you do me a favor?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Can you go to school early tomorrow and put this on Simon's desk?" I hand him the letter. "Hopefully they won't freak out too much."
"Sure. Nice shirt, by the way."
"Finders keepers," I say, sliding over to him and climbing onto his lap. He holds me close and presses his lips to the top of my head.
His parents are gone for most of the day, so I take advantage of the time to take a long shower. When I'm done, I hide the products under the sink so they don't find them and get suspicious, and I hide all of my things in his dresser. There's hardly anything in it because most of his clothes are on the floor. He takes a shower as well, and when he's done we spend the rest of the evening trying to beat each other's high scores on our iPhones. I'm so much better at video games than he is, but he hates to lose.
When his parents get home with a box of pizza, Castiel has to go downstairs for dinner. Most of the conversation is dominated by his mom, who doesn't seem to know what an inside voice is, and most of the conversation is centered around Castiel getting his grades up during the second semester at school. Castiel plays the perfect angel and promises to do his best, even though I know he really won't.
Halfway through listening to dinner, I decide to be evil and wear the lingerie he bought me, just to see his reaction. Thankfully, it fits perfectly, and I can only imagine his expression when I look at myself in the mirror. While it's true that Castiel loves me for who I am, he's still a man, and men go crazy whenever they see a woman wearing next to nothing. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't go crazy whenever I see him shirtless, so I guess that goes both ways. The difference is that girls have more to work with.
At the last second though, I change into the normal pajamas he got me because I'm too nervous. I'll save the lingerie for his birthday; after all, he did say it was for him. The normal pajamas fit perfectly too. How the heck does he know my size? I never told him, and I don't think he peeks at my clothes tags. Maybe I'm just lucky and he knows me really well. Or maybe he's just a lucky guesser.
When Castiel comes back, he brings two slices of pepperoni pizza with him for me to eat, and puts a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. I oblige and eat the pizza slowly, cringing at every halfway audible sound. I almost feel like Anne Frank hiding in the attic, where the slightest noise would mean certain death.
Castiel finishes his school assignments while I absentmindedly strum on his acoustic guitar. Mine is in the closet, but I don't want to bring it out just in case his parents decide to make a sudden appearance. I can hide easily, but I'd probably hit the guitar on something and break it. And I figure it's okay to play a little, because if they hear something, they'll just think it's Castiel.
I'm amazed, actually. For once in his life, he's doing his homework. Maybe he wants to get his grades up so he can get a better job after he graduates. I still think he'll go to college at some point, even if it's not right after school; I know I probably will, especially with an English teacher for a stepfather.
At around ten, his parents finally go to bed, and we feel more free to move and talk once we hear his dad's loud snores. I put away the guitar and take my hair out of its messy bun, letting it fall to my shoulders like a lion's mane. Castiel finishes what he's doing and sneaks up behind me to start rubbing my shoulders.
"Mmm, that feels nice," I murmur, running my hands through my fluffy hair to tame it down. "What's up with you, huh?"
"Come again?"
"You've been so sweet today."
"Sweet?" I can practically hear him wrinkle his nose at the word.
"Yeah. You know, thoughtful. I mean, getting me all those things, remembering the pizza, agreeing to take my letter, unrequested massages...you don't usually do that stuff, Cas."
"I told you, I gotta take care of my wife."
"You don't have to take care of me," I protest, turning around. "When all this happens, I don't want you to be the only one doing all the work."
"Believe me, you'll have plenty of work to do with your school. High school's the worst experience of everyone's life."
"Well, duh. But after that. I'm getting a job too, you know that right?"
"I know you're too independent to let me take care of you all by myself," Castiel laughs, "so yeah."
"That doesn't mean you have to stop, though," I joke, turning back around and putting his hands back on my shoulders. "What are you, a masseuse? Is it a hidden talent or something?"
"As if," he huffs. I pretend not to notice as he casually slides the straps of the pajamas off and on my shoulders, silently telling me what he wants. What I want, actually. I've felt disgusting for thinking about it so much, but now that I've had a real experience, I want more. More of him. I turn around again and press a soft kiss to his lips, and he kisses me back tenderly, his fingers tracing over my face until I move his hands to my shoulders, pushing off the straps for good. Before I've even fully registered what's happening, he's pinned me underneath him and is doing incredible things to me, and each time we get too loud he'll calm down a little and whisper for me to try and be quiet or we'll get caught, along with words like 'love' and 'beautiful.' But half the time he's breathing so hard I can't make out an entire sentence. The urgency and risk factor in the sex makes it all the more intimate, as does the fact that we're in his room, and before the end of the night we're both fully satisfied, falling asleep under the sheets with our arms wrapped around each other. He's so beautiful and perfect, even though he wouldn't believe it for a minute, and I still can't believe he would love me enough to take me in and take care of me. As much as I hate to admit it, without him bringing me food, telling me when it's safe to take a shower, and buying me, well, tampons, I wouldn't last a day in here. And I feel so safe holding him; even Evan can't touch me with Castiel around. He's like my own personal safe haven.