Chapter 24: It's The End of The World
"Kwest you gotta come with me." I've been complaining and begging him for like 20 minutes. "Why don't you ask like Sadie to come with or something?" Because Sadie has one heavy ass purse that hurts like hell. It's freaking hard too. "Do you not remember the little incident we had in the hallway?" God I've been like the star of a fucking soap opera today. G Major Lusts. Actually that sounds more like a porno. I'm all for a G Major porn. "Oh her storming in and in-between whacking you with her purse cussing you out?" No when she bowed before me and kissed my feet. "Of course that." I swear he's like an idiot savant or something. Anyway, Sadie sorta heard about last night and you know Jude can never just be pissed herself, there's always someone else doing her dirty work whether it's me, Jamie or Sadie.
"Ok maybe she was a little mad but I'm pretty sure if you just asked she'd . . . well ok what about Mason?" Though he is under suspicion, "He's still mad at me too." On top of that I don't really wanna explain to Mason why I need to buy her a new couch. That's what I'd call awkward. Though of course Jude's probably already told him. She's a nefarious one that girl. Yes I know what nefarious means. I also know that all my amorous feelings are going to be a lot harder to deal with these days.
"Why don't you get one of the nice little helper girls to help you?" Because I'd like to not mess up my whole no sex thing. I've gone a whole 32 hours since I agreed to solo performances, thank you very much. "Because I really could do without their help." Conveying one's message is all about stressing the right words. And because not only am I incredibly expressive and articulate but I would also make an excellent actor, Kwest understands what I mean. "Can you not do anything by yourself," excuse me have I not invested in a fresh produce card?
I'd use my puppy dog look right now but well Kwest isn't Jude or any female for that matter. Jude is in fact able to ignore my wounded puppy face on occasion, but only when she's really pissed. Hence I am still being ignored. She's off 'writing' her next song, but we all know I've already inspired yet another catchy ballad or angry rock song. In fact she's probably already on song number 5 by now, so basically she's just avoiding me which is cool cause it's not like I wanna talk to her anymore. At least I don't wanna talk to her until she ya know well acknowledges me without screaming or calling me any of the various pet names she's come up with lately.
"Just come with me, please?" I'm starting to get annoyed now, probably cause I thought about Jude and well that doesn't bode very well lately. That could mean something, maybe I need a therapist. I can lay on her couch and pour out my soul. Then she'll come closer to me and I can watch her long legs come towards me in the black heels. As she leans over me to tell it's all alright her button can come undone. I'll reach up to help her and she'll shake her head and all her blonde curls will come tumbling down. Dammit when was the last time Jude dressed up all businessy? I need her in heels and a button up blouse now.
"Fine I'll go with you but we get this done tonight." Thank god! "Hey when they deliver it can you make sure she's like there." "Can we find a damn one first and maybe possibly get our artist in here?" Always so logical, how are me and him friends? "You want her then go get her," cause I sure as hell can't handle another purse beat down or a tongue lashing form Jude. That last one you would think would be fun, but it's not.
"Either get Jude or have Sadie page her to the Studio or I'm not going with you to replace your new girlfriend." Fuck off I tell ya. "Where are the erogenous areas on a couch T?" I'd rather battle with Jude or be abused by Sadie then start this conversation, so I walk out. Now which is the lesser of two evils? Jude, Sadie, Jude, Sadie . . . Slut, Virgin, Slut, Virgin. I never did finish my game now did I? 5 points awarded to virgin cause Jude flipped her nachos. Hmm Sadie's behind a desk so her positioning for a sudden attack would be difficult whereas Jude could openly throw something at me . . . . goin with Sadie. Heh maybe I'll luck out and she'll be gettin serviced at our service desk. Ok so it's a receptionist desk, it just sounded better. maybe it should have been 'directed to her orgasm at the receptionist desk' eh either one's dirty.Ok right not thinking about Sadie's female parts, don't even look at her. Pretend she's not even there, stare past, "Can you page Jude to Studio B, thanks." Don't look, don't look, dammit you looked. Who knew her nose could flare like that? "Why should I force her to go to a room with a lying diseased egotistical perverted man whore cad like yourself?" Remember the purse, the bruises are starting to form, be nice. "Because it's her job." That's right be strong, she gave up kick boxing for yoga years ago. "If that was her job she'd be a prostitute. Are you calling my sister a whore?" This is not going well, "No no that's not what I said, I know Jude's a virgin."
Wow her nostrils really can flare, she looks like a raging bull. "What does it matter if she's a virgin or not? Unless you're planning on popping my baby sister's cherry? And if you are you sure as hell went about it the wrong way with fucking the intern and all," she says with a snare. Sadie can snare like no other, her and Liam must have a lot of hot angry sex. "I am not talking about this now, so just page Jude to Studio B." Sometimes you just gotta lay down the law. "Get her yourself." Does my life always have to be so damn hard? "Sadie you are the receptionist I am your boss now do what I say." "No Tommy you're the guy who I'm lucky I didn't get gonorrhea from, the guy who has broken my sister's heart more times than I can count and the guy who's lucky to still be walking right now." I'm not sure what that last part means but it sounds unpleasant.
"What are you still standing here for? She's out in the alley." Dammit of all places. I need a cigarette. I don't get it ya know? She's so pissed off at me, but why? Why does she get to be mad at me? She completely played me the other morning getting me excited over nothing. Making it very clear I wasn't what was right for her, I was just a conquest. Let's see how uncomfortable I can make Tommy today. So why the fuck is she so pissed? It makes no sense. And now on top of all the idiotic shit she has been doing she's out in the alley. Come on now, the alley? That's just asking for deja vu and heartbreak. I peek around the side of the door and there she is crouched by the stars. Is that? No it can't be. Jude Harrison's not "Smoking!"
"Fuck Quincy," this can not be happening. "Put that out right now." "And waste the money you spent on it, never." Everything is falling apart around me. Is this some twisted version of my previous universe? "You need to be in the studio recording." She blows out a puff of smoke and begins coughing,"I haven't written anything." Liar, "That's bull and you know it." Everyone knows it in fact. Because Jude is emotional and her emotional self is what makes her music, drama gets her creative juices flowing. "Quincy the world does not revolve around you. Just because you're a slut doesn't mean I have a song about you. You're barely my partner. You're not my inspiration. You're not anything. You're absolutely nothing."
I feel like I just got punched in my gut, the wind knocked out of me. "Right well put those back when they're done and um I'll just see you tomorrow." As I turn to leave I can swear I hear her mumble 'right don't even fight for me.' As soon as I'm on the other side of the door I slump down and bang my head. Things have to get better. I have to work things out. She can't hate me. I need to go furniture shopping.