Chapter 25 Dancing comes with tears.
The next month was very difficult, for Lily. She had to constantly tell people they were not dating it was just a kiss no big deal. Lily didn't tell her friends that she wasn't at all ready to have a new boyfriend. Especially since no one knew about her secret boyfriend.
Most people didn't want to believe it and others embellished it so far out of proportion that by the time they were done with it she had been saved by a ferocious dragon and had given her virginity to James as a reward.
James liked this one best, even if it wasn't true.
Snape had glared at everyone, most people from Slytherin thought it was because he had gotten caught in a body bind and didn't fall on Dorthy and kissed her. Severus hated that rumor, he couldn't stand Dorthy and was only nice to her because he was a friend with Malfoy and Narcissa, who was as nice as a Slytherin girl could get. At least she was to the people in her house.
Severus made his way up to see Dumbledore. He had finally gotten the chance to go there. Snape gave the password to the gargoyles and walked up the stairs instead of waiting for the stairs to move him up.
"Severus, good to see you," Dumbledore open the door before he knocked on it.
"Hello Professor Dumbledore, I was hoping you could help me with something." Snape tried to smile at him; it was difficult to do that now.
"I'll help you all I can Severus what is the problem?"
Dumbledore asked him as he led the way back into his office. Snape entered after him, looking to see the circular room looked the same, with the little tables and silver instruments. The room still had the shelves full of books and the large stone basin, which had always caught his attention as he wondered about its uses.
Severus sat down in a chair looking almost desperately at him. "I want to know how I can change my Patronus."
Dumbledore looked mildly surprised. "Why would you want to do that?"
Snape looked down at his knees. "I rather not say sir."
Dumbledore smiled at him as he leaned forward in his chair.
"The most reason they may change is severe stress, of pain and loss. Other wise to do so would be to need it and want it more then anything else and to try doing the Patronus several times with the desire need in your heart and mind. That usually does not work though."
Snape looked sadly at him.
"What do you want your Patronus to be, A doe?" Dumbledore had a shrewd idea.
"What." Severus said surprised a look of horror on his face. How does he know?
"That would be a match to Miss Evans would it not?" Dumbledore said.
He looked even more alarm.
"It's ok I know what her Patronus is she had happily shown it to me!" He told the youth smiling kindly at him.
Snape looked at him, his eyes smiling back at him.
"I… I didn't know…." Severus felt horrible, what would Dumbledore say to him; would he think he has ill intent toward her?
"I understand Severus, and I think you should give this more thought and maybe even try it on your own. After all you wouldn't want to gain it by pain of loss."
Snape looked at him. Does he know about my dreams?
"Thank you Professor, I'll give it a try." Severus stood up and walked to the door his heart in his throat.
The next two-months went rather quickly for the students of Hogwarts. A Hogsmeade visit was schedule just before the Christmas break. It was to be followed by a school dance.
Lily was not looking forward to it.
The rest of the school was talking about nothing else, in the hallways, the restrooms, corridors and in the back of classrooms when people thought they would not be heard.
Lily decided to go home and see her family this Christmas; she had been busy talking to her friends about what to buy them as a present for Christmas.
It had been agreed on by the girls to not have dates for the dance and to spend their time at Hogsmeade so as to buy things they would need to dress up for the dance without boys there to see them, at least until the dance.
They ahd reached Hogsmeade early eating very little for breakfast so they would have more time to shop and eat lumch out some where. They walked into many different shops looking at dresses, shoes and jewelry. They had a lot of fun trying on dresses, each one very nice and conservative. Lily looked at the purple dress with little white flowers on it.
"That is so cute." Tara told her. Lily grimaced she didn't want cute she wanted sexy.
The girls all found a dress and paid for it. Lily was the only one to not pick one out here.
"I'm trying the other dress shop I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks." Lily told them walking down the cobble road to another dress shop. She was very glad to find the perfect sexy dress once she told the saleperson what she was looking for. It was expensive but she knew it would blow the minds of the men at school. She met them in the Three Broomsticks they were talking and eating hamburgers and french fries. She looked around to see James sitting at a booth with his mates' also eating food. She didn't see Severus and wondered if he even came to town this visit or stayed at the school. She sighed knowing she had to let him go. She went to sit with her friends after ordering a fire whiskey and a grill cheese sandwich. They all had fun talking and laughing before heading back to the school for dinner. She was not unhappy when James slipped an arm around her shoulders offering to carry her bag for her.
"I guess I can let you." She told him chuckling while handing her shopping bag to him. "No peeking though it's my dress for the school dance."
"Ah don't wamt me to see my date in it before the dance kinda like a bride thing bad luck?" he told her giving her shoulder a squeeze.
Lily laughed over this, "More like I don't want anyone to see it yet and I have no date we girls agreed to that." She told him smiling wondering if maybe she should give him a chance with a date to the dance.
"Ah you wound me; I thought for sure we'd be dating by now." He laughed cuddling closer to her.
"Sure you've been thinking this for how long now?" She asked with a quirky grin.
"Since first year." Sirius told her laughing before hugging Tara around her waist, "want to sit with me at the Table, I'll let you gaze upon my glorious self."
"Gee thanks what a privilege." Tara told him laughing. They were all laughing and joking making their way to their table to sit down and eat dinner which was wonderful. The next day was the dance everyone was excited and ready to have fun.
Lily was with the other girls in the dormitory and was looking in the full-length mirror at her self.
"Do I look ok in this dress?" Lily was feeling self-conscious about her choice of dresses. The other girls had all bought more plain modest type of dresses; Lily wanted something a bit flashier.
"You look too good in it." Tara told her as she walked over to see her in the mirror.
Lily was wearing an off shoulder full-length gown, that hugged her curves perfectly. A long slit ran up the side of her left leg, showing it to advantage, with amble amount of her cleavage shown, pushed up for maximum results. It was a beautiful royal blue to bring out the green in her eyes. Lily had done her hair up into a French braid, with some blue sparkling stones in places around her hair to make her glitter as she walked and moved.
Lily had placed her silver heart pendant on, with a smile. No one had known this had come from Snape and it was bearing his picture and their baby.
Lily smiled at the locket, she fingered it lovingly as she gazed a moment longer then turned away from the mirror. "Are we ready? Lily asked a smile on her face.
The girls gazed at Lily none of them were feeling very ready as they looked at each other in what they thought were nice pretty dresses but now looked like something more fitting to go to church in, instead of a dance to catch a boy's eye.
"I guess we might as well get it over with." Tara said sullenly as she walked off toward the door leading out and down to the common room. The other girls all followed after her with Lily bringing up the rear.
As Lily neared the bottom she heard Tara talking to several boys.
"What do you mean none of you are going?"
"It's a dance girl, no biggie."
Yeah been to one been to enough,"
"It's just a dull boring danc….." The boy stopped in mid word. Everyone turned to see what he was looking at with his eyes and mouth wide open and saw by the door to the girls' dormitory what had left him unable to speak.
"Whaaa?"
"Blimey."
"Aaarrreee." One boy couldn't form any words; the boys were all now looking at Lily standing there.
"I think I will go." One boy said vaguely.
There was a sudden scrambling of boys to the dormitories as they had found a new reason to want to go dancing.
Lily walked toward the girls as all the boys were scrambling upstairs.
"Shall we be off?" Lily smiled the girls all left through the portrait hole. The girls were walking down the hall when they heard James talking with his mates.
"Hello Potter, Lupin, Black." Lily smiled as she said their last names and walked on by them leaving them standing with their eyes bugged out and their mouths wide open.
"I can't breath." James murmured as he watched Lily walking away. "I have a sudden desire to go dancing too." James said softly as he quickly followed after the girls.
"So do I, wow." Black watched her sashays along the hall a glimpse of well form leg flashing every few moments.
"She is so hot!" Remus was watching her move along as though to say Look at ME!
"She's mine, remember that!" James muttered throwing them dirty looks. "Stop looking at her like that."
"We're allowed to look." Lupin informed him.
"Yeah and at least dance with her one time." Black agreed earning him a scowl from James.
"Only one dance, and not close." James muttered as he was still watching Lily closely.
The three great friends along with the other boys of different houses were going to skip the dance but changed their minds at the last minute and decided to join the throng of students moving about the Great Hall. Lily took the girls into the loo quickly transfiguring their dresses for them so they were a lot sexier looking and not something to have tea with a maiden aunt. They were all thrilled and eager now to go into the dance to find men.
The girls entered the Great Hall. Most of them went off looking for a dance partner, Lily stood for a moment looking around when a dark brown hair boy from Hufflepuff came over.
"Hi Lily, wanna dance?" The boy's eyes were glued to her.
"Sure, that's why I came here without a date so I could dance with a lot of different people."
The guy looked as though he would prefer to ignore that and keep her to himself.
Lily was having a great time she had danced with one boy after another as they all seemed to know she was dateless and were all seeing if they could get a chance to dance with her.
Lily had just moved off the dance floor, fanning her self when James walked up.
"What does a guy have to do to around here to get a dance with you?"
"You ask of course." Lily smiled and let James lead her back out to the dance floor.
James looked at her a smile on his face. "You look…. wow…. I don't think they have words for it yet." James smiled as he held her waist with his left arm and her hand with his right hand.
James felt like they were in heaven as they moved slowly around the dance floor.
Lily did not see Snape glaring at James as he danced with Dorthy who was glaring at Lily.
"She looks like a slut in that dress."
Snape's eyes narrowed even more.
"I mean really what kind of girl would dress like that? It's pathetic looking." She grumbled.
Snape grunted low in his throat.
"It must be the Mudblood in her, what a tramp." Dorthy glared as they moved around the floor, her head moving to look contemptuously at her with each rotation.
Snape was gritting his teeth he did not yell what he wanted to yell at Dorthy.
You are such a pathetic evil no good moronic loser and why did I ever let them get me into this dance with this girl! I can't even stand her.
"I wonder if it's even a real dress, it might just be paint. I wouldn't be surprised the lowlife."
"Dorthy, if you keep swiveling your head like that, you're going to give your self whiplash." Snape said in a low hard voice.
Dorthy looked at him her own eyes narrowed.
"I am so sure you'd love to dance with the filthy little Mudblood in her smutty clothes like all these other dolts here." She said haughtily.
Snape didn't answer since he had been wishing he could go ask her to dance and hold her looking like a beautiful princess, in his eyes.
"I knew it you do want her." Dorthy screamed outraged.
"Calm your self dear girl; I never said anything since there was no point in it." Snape replied icily.
Dorthy didn't look convinced as the dance ended.
"I bet if I left you'd be first in line." Dorthy said with contempt.
Snape walked off the dance floor to sit at one of the tables. Dorthy finally walked over and sat beside him looking out over the crowd. It was clear she was not happy to be wearing a simple black gown that didn't hug or show anything. Dorthy was ready to say another scathingly remark about Lily when she'd jumped startled by a horrible noise.
"Hum Hum."
Snape shuddered he knew that sound only to well.
Just great, what a way to finish off the night! Snape thought bitterly. I'm stuck with blob and snob while Saint Potter has the princess.
Will you please dance with me Snapey?" Delores said in her most annoying girlish fashion.
"He's here with me!" Dorthy told her before Snape could answered. Not that I had a choice, since dear Cissy wants him but is stuck with Malfoy. Dorthy thought angrily.
Snape knew that Dorthy only went because they were both forced in to it by the other girls in their house and Cissy and Malfoy, who was now gone but dating Cissy off and on. Cissy for some reason was not making any commitment to Malfoy who didn't seem too worried about it. Snape had noticed that Narcissa was at the dance alone and kept shooting looks in their direction while glaring at Lily.
"I am aware of that fact; I just thought he'd like a change of partners." Umbridge looked put out by her staking a claim on Snape. Or so she thought.
"Really and you came here with someone?" Dorthy asked incredulous. What freak of nature would date her? she thought savagely.
"As a matter of fact I am, he went to get some drinks, and I only came with him though, because he is pure blood." Dolores looked down her nose, which was not much since she was so short that even with tall Dorthy sitting she was still close the same height.
Snape felt ill, it was the first time he really felt like telling people, that he was half blood. He grinned in a small-satisfied way; he'd be rid of both these girls with three words.
I'm Half Blood.
Delores stood waiting for an answer when Peter walked up to them holding two cups of tea in his hands
Snape raised an eyebrow but said nothing out loud.
She came here with Peter my, that is interesting? I wonder which one lost the bet on that deal?
"You came here with that?" Dorthy said derisively. Snape saw Peter glow red around his ears.
So diplomatic no wonder, no guys like her around here. Snape thought with a disgusted look at her.
"At least she didn't need to be fixed up Dorthy." Peter was simply amazed by his own daring but it didn't last.
"At least I'm not trying to dump my date the first chance I get." She gave a significant look at Umbridge who glowered at her.
"I just thought out of fun, we could trade dance partners for one dance." Umbridge was bright pink as she grabbed Peter's hand yanking him forcefully away from them. "It's obvious that you prefer to confine your self in the dull and boring." Umbridge said over her shoulder as she trounced away.
Dorthy laughed harder then ever. Snape on the other hand was not paying attention to their banter he was watching Lily who was dancing with a new guy again.
At least she isn't here on a date with anyone. Snape at least figured that was a plus to this miserable night.
Snape sat where he was ignoring Dorthy who was glaring at everyone who came close by.
"I can tell your unhappy why not leave?" Snape said to her not taking his eyes off of Lily she was now dancing with Remus and it too was a very slow close dance and Remus seemed to be enjoying his view since his eyes continued to dart downward constantly. Severus was tired of hearing her huffing in agitation next to him.
"Why should I go, I came here to dance." She muttered angrily.
Snape finally took his eyes off of Lily to look her in the eyes. They were dark and moody looking and a bit unstable he thought.
"So go dance I don't care if you don't dance with me, there are a lot of pureblood guys here." Snape waved his arm around indicating all the males in the place. "How about Yaxley, he's pureblood and it's his seventh year." Snape pointed him out by the door watching everyone dance.
"I don't know him, that well to ask him to dance." Dorthy pouted she was obviously interested in him or at least any guy that was not the one sitting by her watching another girl intently.
Severus stood up turned, reached down to grab her hand and yanked her roughly to her feet.
"Come on." Snape walked resolutely toward Yaxley.
"Hey I have someone you'd like to meet." Snape pulled her in front of himself.
"This is Dorthy Herd; she needs a new dance partner. Dorthy, this is Tim Yaxley, he can tell you all about him self." Snape turned quickly leaving Dorthy blushing in astonishment and pleasure while Yaxley looked surprised at his good fortune.
A perfect pair their both full of them selves. Snape thought sagely.
Severus went back to the table and when he noticed quite soon after introductions that Dorthy and Yaxley had left for the open grounds he quickly walked over to where Lily was dancing with a new guy again, this one from Ravenclaw who was busy telling her about his idea for making a new potion. Lily looked as though she was bored but smiling to be polite. She looked pleased that the dance ended.
"Can I have a dance?" Snape asked softly behind Lily as she moved off the floor when the song ended the Ravenclaw boy still talking to her; he seemed to hope she would stay with him after that dance.
The boy was going to make a nasty comment and saw that it was Snape, gulped looking at him who gave all the impression of great malice.
"Thanks for the dance Lily." He practically ran off.
"Nice going, ready to scare off a few more people?" Lily asked him a crooked smile on her face.
Snape smiled pleased looking down at her.
"If need be."
"Oh you," Lily smiled brightly at him and took his hand, leading him to the dance floor. "Only one dance per guy though, so don't go thinking your getting any more dances after this one." Lily warned him a twinkle in her soft green eyes.
"We'll see." Snape pulled her tight against him. He whispered in her ear as they moved slowly around the dance floor.
Severus was sure if there were a heaven it would be this. One thought going through his head. I love this woman. Snape held her so tight enjoying the way she felt, her scent and the way her breath tickled his neck as she snuggled her face against him.
The dance ended sooner then they had wanted, though neither voiced this. Aaah it felt so… right… Lily smiled as she started to walk off when James grabbed her hand.
"Come one let's dance."
Lily looked at him. "I told you one dance only." Lily smirked at James who was clearly not listening to her.
"I told you I wasn't going to listen to that." James smirked back as he pulled her back onto the dance floor and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"You are so bad." Lily whispered her head rested on his shoulder. He feels just as right as Sev does. Lily thought longingly. I wonder why that is?
"You know it beautiful." James pulled her even closer, causing her to lose her breath.
After that dance had ended Lily walked off to find Severus frowning at her. "One dance you danced with Potter twice," Snape said scathingly.
"Come on, you can have a second dance too." Lily said with a grin flickering at the corner of her mouth, pulling Snape this time on to the floor with James glaring at Snape's retreating back.
Lily wrapped her arms around Snape's neck holding him close. I wish I could tell him again, but not modify it.
Lily felt the familiar tears threatening to burst from her. Lily buried her face so as to keep them from falling down and soaking Snape, which would alarm both him and James.
Snape moaned with longing as he held her tight to him, he didn't know she was aching in her heart and soul at this moment as they moved slowly on the floor. He just enjoyed the way she snuggled up so close to him, holding him so tight, it was all he wanted, right then.
I want him so badly, I need this man every day of my life, why can't we be together, why does he have to want to be a Death Eater, it's not fair.
As soon as the dance ended, Lily headed off quickly not looking at Severus or James as he tried to get her attention.
Lily walked resolutely out the doors leading to the corridors to the common rooms, going as quickly as she could trying to keep from crying in agony and desire for two different men.
James went running after her followed by Snape who was yelling.
"Li what's wrong?"
"Evans stop wait up what's wrong?"
"Get lost you dirty git."
"Stuff it loser."
They both caught up to Lily as she tried to make her way up the stairs in three-inch heels.
The two boys caught her arms in their hands, while giving the other a dirty look.
"Hey come on, if you don't want to dance its fine." James told her as he pulled her back to them.
"Li what," Snape said and James said "Oh Evans." both looked at her tear streaked face in alarm.
"What did you do to her?" James roared.
"I didn't do anything, what did you do?" Snape snap back.
Lily looked at them pleadingly.
"It's nothing to do with either of you." Well that's not true she thought it has everything to do with them both.
"Please I'll be fine why don't, you two go back and dance." Lily pulled her arms free and finished running up the stairs.
"Like hell I will." James and Snape yelled at once both running up the stairs after her.
Lily ran as fast as she could down the corridor, she could hear both boys running fast behind her.
"Loopermer" Lily panted as the Fat Lady open quickly for her.
Lily was at the portrait of the Fat Lady crawling through with some difficulties considering the dress she had on.
The two boys were running flat out while once again bashing at the other to keep him from reaching her.
"Go away, you slime ball."
"She needs me more then you!"
"You can't get in though I can!"
That caused Snape to stumble a bit he couldn't get inside. Lily Snape thought desperately.
James reached the Fat Lady's portrait first and said the password to her.
She looked down at him as though trying to decide his fate. It wasn't looking very good.
"No,"
"What?" James gasped.
"Miss Evans has not had time to make her way to the girls' dormitories; I will not permit you in until she has done so."
James glowered at the portrait while Snape glowered at him a grim smile of satisfaction on his thin face, Serves him right. He thought pleased the Fat Lady had denied him entrance.
Both boys had waited for a half an hour, when the dance had ended and the students were all heading back to their common room, with teachers ushering them off to their own common rooms.
"Come now, what are you waiting here for time to get into your beds." Professor McGonagall said as she walked up to see both boys ready to rip into each other.
"They both wanted to see Miss. Evans, who is feeling a mite distressed right now." The Fat Lady looked at McGonagall significantly, a look that both boys had noticed.
"I see, I understand; perfectly well." McGonagall turned to the two boys.
"Please go to your beds and leave Miss Evans alone, she needs… well please leave her alone." McGonagall once again looked as though she was close to tears her self and a pitying look was given to both the boys who looked stunned as students pushed by them not noticing or caring just trying to get the Fat Lady to open up.
"Is it…?" McGonagall asked gently.
"Yes it is now." The Fat Lady swung open, allowing them to crawl inside.
James headed for the boys' dormitories looking sadly at the girls' door.
"What's wrong Lily?" James said to no one.
Snape headed with several looks over his shoulder. He was sure McGonagall was sadden by something to do with Lily and almost seemed on the verge of saying something. Snape vowed to talk with her in Potions class.