July 2002
Michelle had been released from the hospital after six days and was back home with Tony and the kids. He knew that she hated hospitals and that she was still a little uneasy around doctors. She seemed relaxed again and was happily playing with their children.
He was a little bit unsure if he should talk to her about it or not. A few months ago he had the feeling that she had something on her mind and he has had the same nagging feeling since. But she has not talked to him about it. When he looked at her and how happy she was at the moment with the children he could hardly bring himself to talk to her about it but he knew that he needed to know and that she needed to talk about it.
After they had put their children to bed in the evening he joined his wife on their living-room couch. She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. His chin was resting on top of her head. "Michelle there is something I want to talk about with you." She stiffened a little in his arms and he stroked her back to calm her down. "There has been something on your mind that has been bothering you for a few months sweetheart. I want you to trust me enough to tell me what is bothering you." She leaned even more into him.
"I somehow knew that I could not keep it from you forever." "You should know me that well by now." She nodded against his chest. "There have been a lot of things going on since we began to date. The whole thing with my fears and what came with that. The whole therapy and what came with that. I was so consumed with my fears and the trauma after CTU was blown up. I fought so hard against the fears that I lost perspective of other things. I never asked you if you are alright with everything we are doing. You did everything to help me in any way you could. You never questioned me and never accused me of anything.
I never asked you if you needed something or if you wanted something to be different. Tony, you never complained and that has me worried. I am scared that this whole thing will be too much for you one day and that you will accuse me of something and that you will get bored and leave." He was shell shocked when he heard her words. They have been married for almost five years and he had helped her fight her battles and now she was voicing her fears.
"How long did you have these worries?" "Since Chloe was born." He was surprised. Chloe was thirteen months old and did not notice a thing about Michelle being different.
He pulled back a little and made her look at him. "Michelle I want you to listen to me carefully and never forget these words." She nodded. "Michelle I love you and I love Rose, David and Chloe. Do not ever think anything different. Of course I hoped that our lives would be a little different and that you would not have to fight these hard battles against your fears. But I am your husband and I gave you a promise to stay by your side in good times and in bad times ´til death parts us. I take this promise seriously. Do not doubt that Michelle. I will never get bored and leave you and our beautiful children. I hope that we will be able to have a completely normal life without you having any kind of fear. That is by biggest wish. Even if it never happens I will always love you and stand by you. Do you understand that?" "Yes. I love you to. I just needed to be sure that this is what you really want to." "I want this Michelle." He pulled her into him and kissed her passionately and showed her how much he loved her and that he loved the life they were living. He hoped that he could stop her worries that way.