Chapter 9 Turn Blue

Mary-Lynette

I run my hands up and down Ash's chest absentmindedly; it's been awhile since he's been this deep a sleep. I roll over and put my feet on the ground but Ash rolls over and grabs my waist, bringing me down beside him and tucks me into his side. ''Mmmm, don't go''

''I was just gonna get some breakfast, I'm starving''

''Starving for what?''

''Food'' I slap Ash's hand, stopping it going any further up my top. As I'm walking down the stairs I feel this hallow feeling in my stomach. While I'm frying eggs in a pan I realize I'm feeling empty. Moments like this morning and last night are so few and far apart as it is, both of us rushing around trying to make everything work. I know this is my fault because I took away his immortality, not directly but Ash and I have argued many times over the fact that he's still aging.

Flashback: 6 months ago

''Mare do I have a grey hair?'' Ash asks peering in the mirror.

''No! Ash you're only twenty four''

''I never thought I'd have to worry about things like this''

''Well nobody's stopping you, well except your stupid self'' Ash glares at me.

''I'd be selfish if I stopped aging and when I do age I'm stupid. I can never win''

''Who said you'd be selfish?''

''Nobody but would everyone think it''

''Since when do you care what people think?'' I scream.

''Mare I want to have the best life I can with you, and I can't have that if we're both at different stages in life''

''You're going to be at different stage of life than all your family and friends''

''I've already made that decision''

''You never discussed it with me''

''It wasn't your decision to make!''

''No but it will affect me''

''Stop being so selfish''

''You don't even want to talk about it''

''What's there to talk about?''

''There could be other ways''

''There are no other way's, I've already checked''

''What do you mean?''

''I asked around''

''What! You were airing our problems to the world!'' I exploded

''I was trying to prevent this'' Ash's calmness makes me want to punch him but I know that will not help, well it might make me feel better.

''What were you going to say to me, 'Hey Mare, I found a way for us to be together forever. I know we didn't discuss this but you know I'm Ash Redfern aka leader of the Night World. I can do anything I want any way, here just step into this freezer and there, together for ever.''

''I was just seeing what our options are''

''Options, we have no options. We just have to live this life and get on with it''

''Just get on with it, is that how it is?''

''You know what I mean''

''No I don't and it wasn't me who ran off with someone else''

''No it wasn't, I'm sorry I've taken your life away from you, I'm sorry I can't give you children, I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you longer. I'm sorry Ash. I'm sorry you're stuck with me'' At this point I burst into tears. Ash raps me in a bear hug and I try to push him away but it's futile and I just cry harder.

''We'll just have to make the most of this life Mare and that's all there is to it'' Ash tilts my head up so I can look into his eyes. ''I love you and I want us to have the best life we can, it may not be ideal but it's more than I deserve''

''Ash you deserve so much more than being stuck in this life with me''

''But Mare this is what I want'' Looking into Ash's eyes I could see he meant it. I know people say the eyes are the window to the soul but I've never been able to read people just by looking in their eyes but now I see what they mean.

End of flash back: Present

Ash walks down the stairs slowly and when he reaches the kitchen stretches like a lazy cat.

''Umm that smells good Mare'' Ash murmurs while pressing a kiss to my temple. ''I worked up an appetite last night''

''Could you be any more like a stereotypical man?''

''Doll, can you get me a beer from the fridge?''

''Ha ha''

''You need any help?''

''Nope, all my man needs to do is relax'' I finish the breakfast and the whole time contemplate whether I'd made the right decision in asking Ash to leave all those years ago. I should have gone with him but I know that was something he needed to do by himself. I try not to dwell in the past but I can't help the thoughts that invade my mind. It's so hard to try being happy with what you have when everyone around you seems to have just that little bit more.

Ash and I sit on front of the TV having our breakfast, a rarity, but it only lasts an hour before he's called back into work and I'm reminded we have bigger things on our hands other than me being worried we won't have an apple pie future.

Hope you liked it x