"Life Is Beautiful But It's Complicated We Barely Make It, We Don't Need To Understand, Because There Are Miracles. Stand Where You Are, We Let All These Moments Pass Us By, It's Amazing Where I'm Standing, There's A Lot That We Can Give, It's Just Ours For The Moment." – Vega 4; Life Is Beautiful.
The Front door of Faiths home had been opened, Cato pulling the spare keys that now belonged to him out of the lock and closing the door behind him, letting his duffel bag fall to the floor by the stairs, containing a small amount of clothes from his weekend away at the Capitol. He called out Faith's name, assuming she was somewhere around the house, running a hand down his tired face as he walked down the hall and into the kitchen, briefly looking around before he grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, taking a bite and walking back down the hall.
"Faith, you here?" he called once more, this time from the foot of the stairs, grabbing the bag and walking up them.
He had been spending most of his time in Faith's home since they had returned from the Capitol on their last trip, officially announcing that they were a couple to his mother had left her ecstatic. He smiled at the thought of how they had agreed to be a couple, knowing it was the strangest conversation yet it worked for them, that was without even adding in her consent to his Capitol job.
He knew she wasn't completely okay with the idea of it, and that was obvious from her silent sulks before he had to leave on each trip, or her resilient behaviour to be affectionate with him when he returned unless he washed. He knew it wasn't because she thought he had caught anything, he was more than safe in those terms, but he knew it was for her own peace of mind, to know that when she did touch him he wasn't already tainted by the touch of another woman.
The fact that she was willing to overlook such a thing in order to be with him made him happy enough, more than happy for that matter, especially since he wanted her just as much as she did. Surviving her Games by the skin of her teeth did have a hand to help in that matter, watching her almost die hadn't been an easy fort, especially since she was practically comatose the days following her victory and barely pulling through, it was like her brain subconsciously forced her body to keep going in times of certain death.
However even after waking up it still felt as though he were watching her through a screen, shutting herself off and living as if her mind were on autopilot for the next few months, torturing herself for something that was beyond her control, her suffering and pain never leaving her even after her exit of the arena.
It had torn him up an exceptional amount when she had finally admitted to supposedly seeing Mico, and at times having conversations with him, it was an outrageous statement, but her admitting that it was crazy assured him that she hadn't completely lost her sanity. She eventually admitted that she knew the hallucinations were due to the amount of guilt she bottled up inside of her, which she still had yet to let go of, he knew he wasn't one to talk when it came to admitting the deaths of your team mates in the arena was beyond your control, the guilt and nightmares of what you did lingered a long time after you left, and according to Finnick all that happened was that they calmed down a little.
Having someone there didn't make it all go away, but it certainly did help in trying to deal with it all, that was why he thought he and Faith worked so well, because they had a level of understanding in each others suffering, because they both needed someone there. It wasn't all for comfort though, Cato knew that when it came to someone matching his stubbornness and silver tongue there wasn't anyone other than Faith, she gave as good as she got whenever they found themselves in a dispute, even when they were simply teasing one another. Hell, even Cato didn't try calming her when she was on a rampage of anger; being on the receiving end of such a thing was proven pretty explicitly on live television should anyone cross paths with her.
That was a brutal finale to the end of the Quarter Quell, but he knew by the end of the games you weren't anywhere near in your right mind to be aware of what you were doing, and losing someone that was practically family mere hours before was sure to set you off in massacre frenzy. He winced slightly as the brief image of the District One girl screaming while Faith gauged her eyes out of their sockets, a long with the tongue cutting with the kid from Seven; it was a difficult situation to base an opinion on since Seven was responsible for Mico's death.
Yet watching that specific death unfold before him, and hearing the amount of pain through his voice Cato found it difficult to not sympathise with the brutality of his death. But then all he had to do was simply look at Faith, to see the torture in her eyes to know that she was constantly thinking of what she did, what she had lost, knowing that what she had done wasn't in the slightest justifiable for him to wipe the entire memory from his mind.
He shook his head of any more thoughts, pushing them out of his mind and walking into their now sort-of-shared bedroom, releasing a sigh of frustration at the fact Faith's suitcase was still empty and left in the corner of the room, when they would be returning to the Capitol. Reaping day was only five days from now, and Cato had suggested to Faith that she should begin packing now, as a way to take her mind of the fact that it would be a year since Mico's death, she had been on edge in the last two weeks leading up to it.
He sat on the side of the bed, picking up the phone off the bedside table and dialling the number of his home, waiting a couple of rings for his mother to eventually answer, knowing she had her hands tied up as much as she usually did since Ellie had begun walking. He smiled at the memory, and how his mother had made sure to record everything on the video camera he had gotten her when Ellie was born, and Faiths flustered expression as she continuously ran after Ellie to make sure she didn't run into anything and hurt herself. She was like a newly charge battery than didn't want to stop working, not that he blamed her seeing as she was now capable of getting places on her own without being carried or crawling, it was extremely adorable watching her do so.
"Hello?" Ivy's tired voice rang through the receiver, snapping Cato out of his thoughts.
"Hey, it's me I'm back."
"Oh Cato, you're later than usual."
"Yeah I know," he said, "they wanted me to meet a few more people last minute," the lie rolled off of his tongue so easily, he was even beginning to believe them himself.
"Right, well dinners at six, are you at Faiths?"
"Yeah actually, but she's not here is she with you?"
"Oh honey," his mother sighed through phone, and Cato could practically see her putting a hand to her head as she said those words, although he was confused as to why.
"You forgot didn't you?" She accused, and Cato's brows knitted together as his confusion increased.
"Forgot what?"
"It's his birthday; god knows where she is right now."
Realization hit him like a Capitol train at full speed, immense guilt consuming him and scolding himself at the fact that he could have been as so stupid as to forget Mico's fucking birthday of all people. Worry quickly adding into guilt as he now had no idea where Faith could be, and the possibility of her doing something out of stupidity in her current state was very likely, quickly bidding goodbye to his mother he hung up the phone, standing up and rushed down the stairs and out of the house. He had forgotten, he had forgotten possibly one of the most important days to Faith, he had even promised to be back before yet he still forgot, he had outdone himself in screwing up this time.
"Stupid, stupid stupid."
He continued to mutter under his breath as he lightly jogged down the street of the victor's village, knowing there was only a one or two places where she could have been, the first being where she took her walks up towards the mountains, he'd have to start there. Due to spending most of her time indoors it was rather difficult to figure out where she could possibly be, especially since his hour long trip up the mountains had been in vain, there was no sign of her there, and as he walked back down the victors village he tried reassuring himself that she was fine, that she was just hidden somewhere so that she could have time to herself, and that she would come home when she was ready to.
But overly dramatic scenarios of her hurting herself in different ways kept finding their way into his mind, creating paranoia deep inside of him as he fumbled with the keys in his hand, his eyes briefly flickering to Alec who was weeding one of the front gardens of the empty victors houses. He remembered how Alec was responsible for every victors things being transferred into their new home, hiring men to pick it up from their old homes, and it was in that moment where an idea had struck Cato. He wondered how he hadn't thought of it before; it was so simple that it was practically staring at him in the face, only he was looking too hard to see it. He turned around, heading straight back towards Alec, the old man turning to look at him with a blank but polite looking expression, and Cato offered a friendly smile as he opened his mouth to speak.
Cato made his way up the series of stairs in the block of flats, an entire complex of them located near the weapons making factory, passing kids who were playing around in the hallways with broken and blunt pieces of weapons, probably given to them by their parents who worked at the factory. He had remembered Faith mentioning a while back that she used to work there herself, after she had left the orphanage they had set her up with a small two bedroom apartment, it was where nearly all of the factory workers lived.
District Two didn't exactly have a poor or rough area, but in terms of being well off, the south side in which the apartment complexes where placed was not fortunate in that area, with the long hours at the factory the workers never got paid near enough the amount they deserved. However when it came to occupations in District Two the highest paid and most respected jobs where either Academy trainers, or the elected officials that worked along side the mayor in the Justice Building, along side various business owners and those who owned market stools.
He had been lucky, as Cato's stepfather had been one of the senior instructors at the Academy they were doing well in terms of income, it was something Cato was rather interested in looking further into it after his time of mentoring was over and passed onto a new victor. He missed the weight of a sword in his hand, he missed simply swinging it around and practicing it on dummies like he so often did back at the Academy, because he had spent countless years training with one it almost felt like another limb to him, and going this long without even looking in the direction of one was taking its toll, which is why when he had been given the chance to train Faith with one he had gone overboard.
He reached the fifth floor of the apartment block, walking down the hall and passing several doors, counting them down as he went, the memory of the door number Alec had given him earlier. The front door was left slightly ajar, allowing Cato to assume that she he'd eventually turn up, and pushing the door open he took a few steps in, rays of sunlight hitting the floor from the large window directly across the front door. A couch and a small brown old coffee table in between, the entire place quite open as to the left was a small white tiled kitchen, everything looking pretty bare as most of its contents had been taken and moved into Faiths new home, although a small silver television was placed above a fridge, old multicoloured letter fridge magnets scattered across it, little things spelt out as if someone still lived here.
Cato shut the door behind him, alerting Faith that he was here, and shoved his hands into his jean pockets as he begun walking softly to his right, a small hall leading down to the bathroom and bedrooms, going for the obvious and opening the door to Mico's room, a large poster insisting people keep out on the front of it. He smiled at the thought of Mico saying those very words, remembering how back at the Capitol he would become annoyed if Faith never knocked before coming in, and he saw her, sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, her legs crossed and hugging his pillow to her chest.
She turned to him, her eyes red from her obvious continuous crying, she attempted a weak smile towards him as tears streamed down her face, but it dropped quickly as another sob escaped from her lips, and she buried her head in the pillow she held tightly. Cato sighed quietly and moved towards, talking a seat beside her on the floor, drawing his knees up and wrapping an arm around her shoulder softly, and with his other hand pulled her hair back softly, his hands running through them soothingly.
"You're late," her voice was muffled by the fact her face was still in the pillow, but lifted her head soon enough to look at Cato in the eye.
He gave a soft smile, wiping a few stray tears off her cheeks, apologising softly, and both becoming silent as they simply sat there, staring into each others eyes.
Faith's grip on the pillow became tighter, and she looked down to it briefly, "It's the only place I still feel close to him, I can even still smell him on this."
She took a deep breath, holding in a sob as her eyes watered once again, "being here again just makes it feel like he's still here."
He watched her as she begun to cry again, his chest tightening at the fact she was still so distraught by the loss of him, not that he expected her to be completely over it, but he had thought she was getting better, yet when he watched her now she seemed just as devastated as when she had first left the arena. He didn't know whether it was because the birthday of Mico arose hundreds of memories that hurt too much to smile over, or that she was just getting better at hiding how upset she was over it; she just had a habit of confusing the fuck out of him sometimes.
He wrapped both arms around her, head burying itself into the crook of his neck and rested his chin on top of her head as he let her cry, only going on for a couple of more minutes until she calmed down. Her grip on the pillow loosened, and her head turning so that she could look up at Cato, a deep shaky breath coming out of her mouth as she huddled closer to him.
"Tell me about your dad," she whispered quietly, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears as she looked up at him.
"You know just as much as I do, which is practically nothing." His tone took on a level of bitterness, peaking Faith's curiosity as she continued to watch him.
"There must be something you know about him, tell me."
He was more than reluctant to talk about it, but if he and Faith were going to attempt at a relationship then there needed to be a certain amount of honesty between them, this was her wanting to know more about him, to feel something other than pain for once.
"He died as a tribute in the Games, he volunteered at eighteen and was top of his class," a small bitter scoff escaping his lips at his next words, "knocked up my mother before that, she says they were in love, and that's why he volunteered."
Faith remained quite for a few moments as she watched his face, his jaw tightening in anger at the thoughts running through his mind, the pain his mother had went through raising him on her own, without any help and un-married, at such a young age herself and had not complained once.
"Is that why you volunteered?" She asked quietly, sitting up more and turning her entire body so that she was facing him.
"Kinda', but that was just half the reason, my step-dad was an Academy instructor, he met my mother when I joined at Twelve, he was alright I guess, trained me up and things, only he died 'cause he had a history of heart problems and again we were left on our own."
The room became silent, Cato staring into the opposite wall with a glare, the muscles in his shoulder tensed at the thought of how hellish things had turned out for his mother, speaking once more with his tone becoming higher.
"You know she calls herself Poison Ivy? 'Cause she actually thinks she's poison, she think she brings bad luck to anyone she loves. It's fucked up."
It was times like these when he wished he was alone, because he only ever un-winded and let these thoughts consume him when no one was around to see him lash out, and only returned to the real world when he felt a small hand run through his hair, coming to rest on his cheek turn his gaze back towards Faith. She grasped his head in both hands, green eyes clashing with blue as she looked at him in complete wonder, and he stared back, waiting for what ever she had to say.
"When I first met you I thought you were just an air headed, camera loving selfish brute," he let out a small chuckle at her words, remembering how much they clashed back then, "but when I see you now, you're everything I thought you never were, you did everything you did for your family … and you don't know how magnificent you really are for that."
He replied to her statement by leaning in, his lips softly touching hers in a kiss, waiting for her to respond by pressing her lips firmly against his. Her arms moved to wrap around his neck, leaning backwards a little as he leaned forward in their kiss, his arms gripping her waist, holding her tightly. He craved the close contact, the feelings of being intimate with someone who he knew cared for him a great deal, it erased the self hatred he so often felt, and Faith managed to pull it off so effortlessly, she wasn't even aware of the fact that she could do it, completely oblivious to the power she had over him.
They parted for air, his forehead softly touching hers, noses grazing each other as he regained the air he had lost, the both of them watching each other, he closed his eyes as he breathed in her scent, engraving it into his memory and labelling it as the one scent he loved so much, what made him feel as if he had a home. He stood and pulled her up with him, tossing Mico's pillow back onto the bed, pulling her gaze away from it to look at him, his hand tucked under her chin as he once again saw the pain consume her, and kissed her on the forehead, taking her hand and leading her out of Mico's room.
She followed him out wordlessly, down the small hall and into the open living room, tugging on his hand as she stopped there, her eyes roaming over her old home, landing on the fridge magnets in the kitchen, reading in her head the small notes she had made out of them with Mico, such as appointment times for his dentist, or joking insults that he had put there himself.
"Was it bad?" her voice was barely a whisper, letting him wrap his arms around her waist from behind her, staring into the kitchen intently, "when he called for me, was it bad?"
Cato hadn't thought about that since the end of her Games, he hadn't wanted to because it was unbelievably hard to handle, he was just a child forced to withstand the pain and torture that the Careers inflicted upon him. He wouldn't admit this proudly, but it had become so unbearable that he had to switch the television off, he didn't want that entire thing etched into his memory for the rest of his life, and he didn't want his last memory of Mico to be one where he was screaming in agony and for help.
"You need to stop this self torture Faith."
"But was it bad?"
"Will it put your mind as ease if I told you?"
She turned around in his grip, her hands resting on his upper arms as she looked to the ground, proceeding to run her hands through her hair and face messily, making her look even more of a mess than she already did, especially inside her head.
"I j- I just keep thinking that if I'd done things differently, if I wasn't stupid enough to let him stay with us then- then he would be here instead of me."
"Stop this Faith, because you need to stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and 'if only', they're not gonna change anything … you need to completely let go."
"But I don't think I can," she muttered, rubbing at her eyes with her fist, "and I don't know how."
"Well for starters, you need to sell this place, there's nothing wrong with remembering him, but here there are so many memories that you feel the opposite of happy, it's hurting you too much being here."
She nodded, although looked a little uncertain of his words, and let him once again take her by the hand and lead her out of the flat, he closed the door behind her, and their fingers intertwined as they walked together down pathway and towards the stairwell. The laughter of playing children echoing around the block as the sun began to slowly set, the couple walking in a comfortable silence, as they both mulled over their previous conversations.
An extremely large amount of happiness growing in the pit of Cato's stomach at the words Faith had said before, trusting in him so much, knowing she had that much conviction in his actions and choices, wholly believing that he was a good person had him feeling as if he were on cloud nine; no matter what job Snow thrust upon him, as long as she continued to believe in him, then he was content.
"So is this your first time in the slums or District Two?"
She smiled at her own joke, voice fairly quite but wanting to lighten the mood, her attempt to make it feel as less depressing as possible, hand still held firmly in Cato's as they reached the last steps in the flat.
"I wouldn't exactly call this the slums."
He let out a bark of laughter at her statement, releasing his hand from her hold to swing his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her in closer to his chest. He kissed the top of her head as she wrapped and arm around his waist, her head leaning lightly on his shoulder as they walked, and he couldn't help but think of how perfectly she fit next to him, almost as if they were two puzzle pieces that fit together wonderfully, especially since they were both aware of how much they meant to each other. Yet even then both Faith and Cato seemed to still be completely unaware of just how deep those feelings went.
I have no excuse. I really don't, so I'll just apologise for how late this is, but I did delete it and completely rewrite it from Cato's POV … still I am very sorry I was slacking with this chapter immensely.
On that note I've noticed that reviews have plummeted a dramatic amount in the last few chapters, and it's not that I'm not grateful for the people who do, but it's caused me to think that maybe I'm doing something wrong with the story? I feel as if that people don't find it very good anymore. So if I am doing something wrong then tell me, please?
Guest: Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it and I hope the same goes for this one! :D
DGFleetFox: I was happy to see that you had reviewed once more, I was thinking 'woah this ones on a roll' haha, thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! Don't worry I do the exact same thing, although when it comes to the character of Faith I don't have a specific actress/person in mind, so you're free to chose whoever you like when reading the story Ha, it's definitely obvious, only they haven't actually taken the time to really think about just how deep their feelings go, again thank you for your lovely review and hope you like this chapter!
Gusmer: Thank you! And Hmmm I'm not sure atm, she seems to try and separate her personal life from her work because she doesn't want anything to be ruined, and yes I guess you will! Haha thank you for reviewing!
PeppermintAmortentia: Yeah it looked like a lot of people were; I didn't expect it to be such a shocker! And awwww thank you that means a lot, and I hope you continue to think that! :D and I'll try!
Alwaysamarauder16: Haha sorry bby! I'll make sure to do it this time! Haha you're just too cute :3 and yes don't worry they'll still be Mr. and Mrs Smith hahaha just different occupations! ILUSM! You're just as awesome K? K.
Kiralol101: Woahhhh, whatta review! Really? You never saw the party coming? IDK it seems so strange when people say that because I always genuinely think that what I write is so predictable! Ha I think the drink had a large part to play in their argument, their first real one! And haha I laughed when I saw that part, but at least I know what you mean! ;) they're definitely not normal! They're both as crazy and as short tempered as each other, and yep she definitely does need to listen at times! As for him finding out about her job, we'll just have to wait and see when that happens ;) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LONG AND WONDERFUL REVIEW! It means so much to me :3 Haha yep it was definitely one of those times! You watch Jersey Shore? It was like those times when Deena gets ridiculously drunk and is like "I'm fineeeee" and five seconds later she trips over. THAT WAS ME!
C0nt0rt3dm1nd: Ohhhh, not a bad one I hope? And yep, they really are a bunch of animals really! And haha same! And now instead of Story Alert it's "follow story" I don't like it! I don't like how they've changed the layouts either, thank you fore reviewing once again darling!
HermoineAndMarcus: I will and thank you!
LulliCullen: Hey! Thank you and I hope you like this one!
FYINichole: Ohhhh don't worry! They'll be LOADS of angsty moments to come! Everythings not going to be perfect forever! So don't be sorry cause I love them too! I actually love writing them sorta of moments, I'm just not giving this girl a break at all! Thank you and I hope you liked this one!
AlexShah: Haha IKR, its like "ohh shit just got real", and really? I left so many hints about what his job was, I thought people would see it coming for miles away! And yeah, they're really dysfunctional together, but it works for them! Thanks for the review my lovely! :D
JustAPersonWithAPony: Meee tooooo! I love me some angst and romance :3 it's the best parts in the story! And THANK YOU SO MUCH! It's so lovely for you to say all of that, I love that you love my story :3 and I hope you continue to love it until the very end!
Roxgirl2456: Hello new reader! I always love new reviewers :D It's so wonderful for you to think that, I seriously don't deserve that many compliments but its so wonderful for you to think so highly of my story! So thank you so much! I hope you stick around until the rebellion because things will really get interesting then! Hope you liked this chapter and thanks again for the review! :D x
Saiyanprincess711: Hey! Yeah its quite sad that they make the victors do all these horrible things, but hopefully they can stick through it all! And thank you for your lovely comments, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reviewing every single one!