Putting people on a pedestal is never healthy. Nobody is perfect and not only believing someone can do no wrong, but having them believe that, can cause a lot of problems. Another problem is when that person does end up being pretty perfect, at least in the important ways, and the only way they aren't is when it comes to them feeling the same way about you.
Nathan knew that there were a lot of not-perfect things about Branwen, but her imperfections had always been so much a part of her character that they were perfect to him. The two problems he was facing were that she didn't find his imperfections the least bit perfect, and yet somehow Pogue's were.
Nathan sat at the kitchen counter, waiting to see how much progress Caleb was going to make, and watching Branwen glare daggers across the room at Pogue's back. A long time ago Nathan had received that glare. It was Branwen's I hate that I care about you glare. It was the only face she ever wore around her mother, though she would never admit that. To Anyone. Ever.
He wouldn't fool himself by thinking he ever held the kind of esteem as Pogue did, but Nathan had meant something to Branwen. And he completely understood why that had changed and how much of it was his own fault. You couldn't treat a girl like her the way he had and expect her to stick around. If only he had been smarter sooner.
Sure, maybe he had come back hoping for something more. But it didn't take long to know that Pogue was it for Branwen. At least for him. For her, however, it was still the end of the world. Though she hadn't lived with Maggie her whole life. Maggie had told him more than once that love was his own magic and it didn't have a cure.
It also didn't do all the work for itself though, so Branwen was soon going to have to realize that if she wanted it to work, she would have to stop caving to fear. The only fear Nathan wasn't beyond was the fear he felt for her. They had made some headway on the hints he had received but they still didn't feel any closer. And now the guys finding out about them all was not going to make things any easier.
At least Pogue wasn't making it any easier. Nathan didn't know what had happened when Branwen and Pogue had gone outside, but it was clear there was nothing solved since they arrived. Nathan had little information on what had happened to get Caleb in the condition he had arrived in, but Nathan was sure it would create some drama when Caleb woke up.
If Caleb woke up. Nathan was fairly confident he would, but healing him had taken a substantial amount of power. Branwen told him Caleb's own magic had hit him but Nathan had a feeling he wasn't getting the whole story. He'd find out eventually, but he figured now wasn't the time with everyone on edge.
Despite their abrasive relationship, Nathan was most concerned about Aria. She had come back downstairs a little while ago. Her face was an open book, as usual, and spoke of fear, pain, confusion, worry and desperation. Whatever had happened, Aria cared about Caleb and whatever had happened was causing a large amount of turmoil in her.
Just when Nathan was going to attempt to reassure her, the signal Nathan had been waiting for came.
Aria nearly jumped out of her skin when Caleb sat up off the table, gasped, and then fell back down, completely unconscious again. Everyone else rushed to his side and Nathan began doing spells under his breath again. For Aria, though, it was terrifying. For all normal parts of her life, the dying boy on the table was her boyfriend. For the rest of her life, though, he was her coven's reject who was killing himself by using his powers, and had almost killed her in the midst of a power/emotional breakdown.
What was she supposed to do with that?
She didn't know. All she knew was that as scared as she was, she couldn't tear herself from his side. And that spelled all kinds of trouble.
"What was that?" Pogue asked Nathan, ignoring Branwen after whatever happened between them outside. Aria would ask Branwen about it eventually, but right now, with everything up in the air, she had washed her hands of it.
Nathan finished his spells and then looked a Pogue. He then looked to Branwen and back to Pogue. Clearly he was impatient with their drama as well. "It's a good sign. It means that Caleb is healing. The spells are working."
Pogue nodded as if there wasn't a question they would. "So he's waking up?"
"No." Nathan and Branwen said in unison. They looked at each other but Branwen quickly looked away so Nathan turned to look back at Pogue. "He probably will not wake for a day or more. It just means that he will wake up. Eventually. When will depend on how much damage was done."
"So we're just supposed to leave him lying on the table?" Pogue asked, sounding incredulous.
"No. He can't stay on the table." Branwen said, looking at Nathan while Pogue glared at a spot over her head. "Maggie is coming today. You're going over the final decisions for the wedding with her."
Nathan turned and looked at Aria. "I'm sure Aria wouldn't mind us moving him to her room." He didn't say it as a questions, but oddly enough, the question was tenderly asked with his eyes. He was being very kind, which irritated her a little because she didn't want to like him, she just wanted him to heal her… Caleb.
"Yes, we can put him on my bed." Aria nodded. "I will stay with him."
"I'll stay with him too." Pogue said, nodding his determination.
"You can't." Branwen said, and even Aria was surprised at her no-arguments tone. Was she trying to start something?
Pogue stood up straighter, bristling. "What makes you think you…" He trailed off as she pointed behind him. They all turned.
Outside the window the sun was clearly rising.
"It's morning. Classes start in a couple hours."
Pogue narrowed his eyes at her. "You think I give a damn about a couple classes right now?"
Branwen rolled her eyes, not helping the situation. "Okay, well do you care about finishing your education at all? Because we have class today and there is a philosophy test. It's worth 30% of our mark. If you don't pass it, you will fail the course."
"Branwen." Aria warned. Yes, Pogue clearly needed to go to that class, but Branwen's tone and attitude were unnecessary.
Branwen glanced at Aria before turning on her heel. "I'm going to get ready. Nathan, let me know if you need my help." With that she disappeared up the stairs.
Aria looked at Pogue. It was clear he was torn. "Go to class." Aria said. He turned on her but she held up her hands. "I don't know what happened between you two, and I know you are upset we didn't tell you we had powers or anything, but don't you think if we were out to get you we would have done it already? We were at Caleb's house, with his mother. We've been along with you guys on multiple occasions. We're not here to hurt you. I will make sure Caleb is okay, but blowing off your entire education is stupid. Caleb wouldn't want you to do that. He loves you too much."
He seemed to think about that. Nathan cleared his throat. "If you want to help me get him to Aria's room, you can assure yourself of his comfort and then, if you don't want to go to campus with Branwen, I can drive you. I have to go pick up Maggie anyway."
Pogue looked a little shocked at the offer but nodded stiffly and helped Nathan lift Caleb and carry him upstairs.
Aria watched them go, wondering what would happen in the future. Pogue and Branwen were both hurt and angry and they were both bears when they were like that. Nathan was being amazingly helpful and supportive, which was a new Nathan for Aria. Branwen had said he could be that way, but over the past while Aria had been doubting it. And Caleb… Nathan said he would heal, but what would happen when he woke? He had been hurt and angry as well. And he didn't even really know about their powers yet. What would he be like then?
It was clear to Aria, at least, that the worst was still ahead of them and they needed to sort out all their personal bull shit. They still had to deal with the wedding, Caleb's using and what the coven was going to do when they found out about everything. Compared to what the coven could do to them all, last night was a picnic.
Pogue couldn't help but notice that Aria's room suited her perfectly. Bold, dazzling and a few hints of tradition and classical taste. He cut off his train of thought before he could fully wonder what Branwen's room looked like.
Nathan and Pogue laid Caleb down on the bed and propped him up so he was lying at a comfortable angle. Pogue was about to turn and head back out when Nathan spoke.
"She doesn't always do things the right way, but the majority of the time she does them for the right reasons."
Pogue didn't have to ask who he was talking about. He could still feel the anger and confusion bubbling under his skin hours later. "Yeah well take some advice; being infatuated blinds you."
"I'm not infatuated." Nathan said, smiling. "I'm in love with her. Always have been and probably always will be in one way or another."
Pogue gritted his teeth. Why was Nathan telling him this? They weren't even close to being friends.
"And by your reaction, I'd say you are too."
"That's…"
"Crazy?" Nathan finished. "Is it though?"
Of course it was. Maybe it hadn't been before but how could you love someone who betrayed you like that.
As if he'd read Pogue's mind, Nathan continued. "It doesn't take much. Falling in love with someone is easy. Loving them through all the obstacles that try to tell you it's not worth it is the hard part. Branwen is a pain in the ass, and a stubborn one at that. She is defensive and secretive and angry and a million other things that make it hard to love her. But despite everything that happened last night, you might want to stop and ask yourself why she is the way she is?"
Despite himself, Pogue was curious. He crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you mean?"
"She is the descendant of the high priestess of the original council. Can you imagine how much pressure has always been put on her to toe-the-line and keep in check white being pushed to be the best and most worthy? You know about how advanced she is in her education, but what about her coven life. Caleb is strong and his only responsibility is to your coven. Branwen was raised to be responsible for the future of all witches. Her mother was the same, so is neurotic and exacting and pushes Branwen even more. Can you imagine not being able to connect with someone without their expectations of what you should be hanging over your head?
"The only person in Branwen's life who never put that pressure on her was her father. He urged her to be a kid, enjoy life, have fun, and be a little reckless. His kindness and open-heartedness was the only thing that balanced her mother's single-minded rational iciness. Can you imagine going through all that and then the one light in your life is taken away? Aria and Branwen are so close because Aria is all Branwen feels she has. They are each other's everything. Because of that, Branwen is very protective of Aria. And from the small amount of information I've gotten about last night, Branwen showed up at campus to find Caleb aiming some pretty heavy magic directly at Aria."
He wasn't wrong. Even now Pogue was shocked, not only by Caleb's reaction, but to the sheer power he had used and its effect. "Caleb and I are closer than most, too. I would do anything for him. But that doesn't justify the lying and deception."
"For her not telling you she had powers or that she knew about yours?"
"Both. For not telling me anything that was going on and what she knew. For the fact that she was never going to. She was just going to leave."
A knowing look came over Nathan's face a Pogue realized he'd let too much slip.
"She told you, I assume, that the other covens are forbidden from having contact with your coven?"
"She implied something like that. And that telling us about magic and the curse and everything is a death sentence. But seriously."
"Seriously. Our whole coven can be penalized for having anything to do with yours. Involving ourselves with you can mean death. Branwen has not only been involved with your coven, but also has now told you everything. They may not kill her because she is head descendant, but what do you think they are going to do to Aria, and even more so, to you, Caleb and your coven? In case you are too blinded by anger to see it, Branwen cares about you. But being with you puts all of you in danger. She had been trying to minimize the risk by keeping you in the dark, and even then she was risking a lot. Even after all the warnings."
"Warnings?" Pogue's hands dropped to his sides. What warnings had there been? Branwen hadn't said she had been warned.
Nathan raised a brow and looked at the door before turning back to Pogue. "You didn't find it a little suspicious that right after meeting, and kissing you, their condo is burned to the ground? Then before Christmas, they have you guys over for the night and the next morning Branwen is sent a darkling of her dead father?"
A Darkling? Could this have something to do with Chase? But what would he know about Branwen or her father? "I didn't know." He'd wondered what had happened that morning and now it made so much more sense. "She didn't tell me."
"Of course she didn't. Branwen would never tell you she was being threatened. She is too independent for that. Things have been quiet since we announced our engagement, for the most part, but how long can that last? It's a fake wedding. The truth will come out eventually. I'm not saying it's something you have to solve, or anything. Branwen and I are working on it. But these are things she is thinking about and considering and trying to balance. It's a lot for one person to handle. Especially when that one person is trying to protect all the people she cares about. Even the people she isn't supposed to."
Him. She was trying to protect Pogue. If only he could make her understand he could help if she let him in. Nodding, Pogue walked to the door and was just walking out when he thought of something and turned back. "You said she lost her father and he was the darkling sent to her, but you didn't say why or how."
"The why he was sent is fairly obvious when you know how he died." Nathan leaned against the bed post and stared straight at Pogue. "He was sentenced to death by her mother because he went to Ipswich and got involved with your coven and then came back and tried to get the head council to lift your punishment. He died advocating for your coven."
Pogue's blood ran cold. Had he met her father? Even if he didn't, he didn't know how Branwen was able to look at him, be kind to him, when it was for his cause her father had been killed. "I think I'll get a ride with Branwen."
Nathan just nodded, like he always knew that was what would happen. Pogue felt the set up but didn't care. He had to see her now. He had to look at her and try and find any signs he had missed. Yes, he'd known that Branwen had cared about him. The question was how. More than a decade later and Pogue could still feel anger rise up over the loss of his parents. The hurt he felt when he looked at that picture Branwen had almost dropped was unbearable sometimes. So there had to be some sign on that same kind of pain on Branwen's face when she looked at him. Right? Some signal that maybe somewhere in her she was angry at him. If there wasn't, how was he going to be able to stay angry at her for this mess she had helped create?
They sat in silence in the car. It had been silence since the moment she had gotten into the car and Pogue was already waiting in the passenger seat. It was silent through their walk to class and their test and even when they both silently walked back to the car, having silently decided the rest of their classes didn't matter and that Pogue was coming back to the townhouse. It wasn't a long drive but they weren't even half way back and it felt like forever because of the silence. And the staring. For some reason Pogue had taken to staring at Branwen every chance he got when he thought she wasn't looking. It was unnerving to say the least.
At last she pulled up to a red light and looked back at him. Not angrily, as that was slowly burning off. She just blankly stared back at him. It took a couple seconds, but finally she spoke.
"I'm sorry your dad died."
It was a couple seconds before she silently cursed Nathan and nodded to Pogue. "Thank you. I'm sorry you lost both your parents."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "How can you look at me like that and not be angry that he died because of me?"
"He didn't die because of you. He died because of laws that are outdated and immovable and because my mother is both too proud and too much of a coward to do anything about it."
He frowned and shook his head. "I'm still upset that you didn't tell me and I'm really upset you were just going to leave. And I don't know how to handle all that. I don't know if I will ever trust that you're telling me everything." He reached out and ran his hand down the side of her face and she felt the tingling at his touch. "I don't know what to do about this and what it means." He rested his hand against the side of her neck and his thumb caressed her jaw. "But I also don't know if that will ever stop how I feel about you."
She knew she should pull away or move his hand or even turn away, but she just couldn't. Her eyes stayed glued to his face as he rubbed his thumb over her lips and he looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you," She said, "But I'm not used to other people being a part of my life. Aria is all I've ever had and Nathan is helpful in his own way. But I'm not used to people not knowing things. I'm not good at having to explain myself."
"I don't want you to leave but I don't know what to do about this thing between us now."
Branwen shook her head. "I can't promise anything. If I have to leave to protect everyone or to fix things, I will."
After a couple seconds his hand fell away and she instantly missed its warmth. "I can protect myself, Branwen." He was irritated again.
"Pogue, my father was a very powerful witch and part of the head council and he was still killed. You don't know what you're up against."
"That may be true but it's still my choice."
"So you expect me to sit back and let it happen? To just hope you can handle it?"
"Yes. It's called trust."
She narrowed her eyes at him. She knew what was coming and she knew she wasn't going to like it. She hated ultimatums. "So what are you saying?"
I guess I'm saying that when you're ready to trust me and work together and let me in, I'll be here, but I can't play this game with you where you try to do what you think needs to be done without letting the rest of us make our own decision. Until you're ready to be part of something bigger than yourself."
What did you say to that? "Fine."
Branwen turned back to the light and waited for the light. When it turned green she slowly move forward. There was a car coming towards her in the other lane. Any other time she would acknowledge it and keep going, but something ran up her spine. This car, a tan SUV, had its left turn signal on, but despite the line of traffic following her, the SUV wasn't slowing town. She glanced in her mirror again, but when she looked back up the SUV was coming faster and, if she wasn't mistaken, was slightly over the line.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Pogue slowly turn from looking out the side window, to the front, but her attention was riveted on the SUV, barreling towards them, now more than half in her lane. And she had nowhere to go. She couldn't get over to either side. The slow motion seconds she had, she grabbed the wheel firmly in both hands and tried to push into the side of the car parked beside her but it didn't budge. She had no speed and was in a tiny car.
The impact as the SUV hit them, threw her forward, knocking her out. She regained consciousness momentarily at one point. The car was on its side, the front window broken and chaotic noise around them. But all she saw was a man in dark clothes walking down the side of the street and the front of the SUV. She passed out again, her last image or the scene the SUV's blinking signal light.