25. Queen
Some thoughts must sometimes remain secret, so that the world has a different view of us. But when it does concern over what the world may think, we learn to live for what we really are.
Unfortunately, secrets never stay secret for long when a police officer is concerned. A murder investigation has led William to the camp, George also. But strange as it may seem, no male gaze had made me nervous, except that of William. He saw me there, nude, and I almost died of shame. I saw his eyes landed on my body, I saw him try to contain and launch a disapproving look to his superior, but I was unable to move. Well then, William met my gaze again before removing his jacket and approach me.
-Inspector, George, can you ...
-Move Crabtree, threw Brakenreid a step further by fleeing my eye.
I then gave my attention to William who stood almost against me and yet refused to touch me. He wrapped his arms behind me and put the jacket on my shoulders. I felt his fingers touch my skin too. My heart was pounding when I met his eyes full of desire. He took another step towards me and I felt my breast touching his chest. William closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. I knew he struggled with all his might and I have wanted to tell him not to do so, to let him go. But I knew how he was upset by what was happening. So I put my hands on his and closed his jacket. I met his eyes again and smiled shyly.
-Thank you, I said simply.
He nodded briefly and cleared his throat before looking at the floor, then he looked into mine again.
-I will ask to George close that it set here and I am going back to the station to complete the case.
I did not answer and he gently away from me without looking back.
-William? And your jacket?
-You just have to give it to George when you are wearing something... and he will bring it to me.
-Alright, I whispered.
William nodded and walked away, leaving me a little confused and totally taken by this intense feeling of guilt, that of having deceived and betrayed him.
But that night, when I got home, I was surprised to get a message from William, asking me to join me exactly at nine hours before the Queen's Hotel on urgent business. I only had ten short minutes and I went there quickly. I thought he was lost in contemplation of a window and I made timidly noticed my presence by saying his name. He did not seem upset by my recent attitude and made the most beautiful act of love, the one to sacrifice his career and reputation to help me free myself from Darcy. He had booked a hotel room for two of us, our names as proof that can be given to the divorce papers. I would be for all to see a mistress, and he was going to be my lover.
-At what name is the room sir?
-Murdoch and Ogden, William said with conviction.
I could not help but tighten my fingers on his jacket and he turned to me immediately.
-Thank you, I breathed slowly.
He gave me a shy smile and grabbed the key that the receptionist handed him, then, without a word we got into the room on the third floor. It was perfect for a romantic night; a double bed, ensuite bathroom, a window overlooking the street, a table and two chairs, a large mirror and a dresser. I entered the first William and closed the door behind him, locking it in the process. He walked over to the bed and put his bag there as I watched the decoration of the room. Then I met his gaze in the mirror. He feasted my eyes. Had he really had the idea of spending the night playing dominoes, or seeing me naked this afternoon had given him crazy ideas? I did not knew. William was a puzzle I could not solve. I smiled shyly and turned towards him by speaking.
-And if we started this game of dominoes William?
He chuckled and nodded before heading back to the table with the bag. I sat down and he did the same in front of me. We played during several minutes, talking, laughing, watching us simply. Well then, fatigue stung my eyes. I was exhausted. I felt the hand of William caressing mine and I plunged my eyes into his.
-You are exausted Julia, we should go to bed.
-You say that because I am still trying to beat you?
-Far from me the idea to oust Doctor, he said smiling at me.
I did the same and took the floor.
-You are right, we should go to bed, the day was long.
He nodded and let go of my hand. I got up and headed to the bathroom when I saw him put away the game he had brought. I spent long minutes to undress, do a quick wash and brush my hair. I had not brought anything to sleep, too, I was dressed as a thin white shirt going up to my thighs and my long skirt.
-I am sorry, I had not thought to spend the night away from home, I said, blushing and noticing the look of William land on me.
-No, it is ... perfect.
I smiled and then noticed the disorder that was in the room.
-William?
-I will sleep on the floor Julia, justified himself my friend, perhaps it is better.
-Oh yes, I see.
With a little disappointed I joined the bed and slipped into my blankets. I saw William leave me and join the bathroom where he locked himself within minutes. When he came back, he just wore his pants and white just-body, showing every curve of his muscles that I felt perfect. He smiled and turned off the light before to lie on the ground.
-Goodnight, he said.
-Goodnight.
Minutes passed in absolute silence. I had not the slightest desire to sleep. I leaned out of bed and was surprised to meet his gaze.
-Do you do not sleep? He asks.
-No, I feel guilty that you are on the ground. William Come, join me.
-You know that it would be scandalous if we shared the same bed.
-I have done enough of is outrageous things in my life to tell you that sleeping it is not one.
He chuckled, shaking his head from left to right.
-You are amazing Julia, you know?
-Please William, I insisted by using my charm, I promise to control myself.
-And what if it was me who did not do it?
-Well, in these cases I promise never to tell anyone. But I know you William, I know I can trust you.
-Even after what I saw today?
-Yes, I nodded.
He smiled and stood up before getting up and heading to the bed, I watched him slip under the covers and go lie down next to me.
-Is it not more comfortable?
-Indeed, much more. Julia, I apologize for having, finally, I felt ... I ...
He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. William was unable to find the right words when he had to. But it did not matter to me, I knew what he meant and that was enough. I approached a little more of him, noting that once again the barrier between our two bodies were extremely thin. My breasts caressed his chest, my breath mingled with his, I felt a desire to win me over again. And without realizing it, my hand slipped under his t-shirt. I touched with my fingertips his stomach and his chest noticing that his eyes were still closed and his breathing accelerated dangerously. I felt one of his hands slide over my hip and I shudder with pleasure. Then gently gesture lasted for traveling on my belly and much above. I held my breath as I felt his finger touch the most sensitive part of my breast and I could not repress a sigh of pleasure. The other hand of William pulled me against him and in a second he was above me. I felt him lost his kisses in my neck and his hand on my thigh. I knew what we were doing was wrong, but yet I could not fight. I loved him too much to want to push him for a second. I wanted him to make love to me.
-William, I sighed with pleasure and shortness of breath in his ear.
This at once stopped him and he spoke against my neck.
-I can not do that Julia, I am dying to do, if you knew how much but I ... I can not, I am sorry.
I opened my eyes and cross his eyes. It was full of desire, sadness and regret. I let go my hand on his cheek and I smiled at him.
-I know William, I know, I whispered to his lips before kiss him, let us sleep in this case. But do not leave me alone, please.
He nodded and put his forehead against mine a few moments, time for us to calm down, and then he went away and lay down beside me. Yet I drew against him and kissed his temple.
-Goodnight Julia.
-Goodnight William, I replied, hugging me a little more against him and savoring this moment I was falling asleep in his arms for the first time.
The important thing is not what others think of us. The key is to be able to live with yourself.
to be continued ...