Gaila stepped over the threshold and noted the thin atmosphere and the burned bodies lying within the cells. She double checked the settings of her phaser before she continued forward. The dull sound of flesh impacting with flesh met her ears as she prepared to round the corner. And the scene she was met with wasn't what she had been expecting. Kirk stood in the middle of the corridor, his grey prison jumpsuit spattered with blood. A phaser was held in his hands, in the background one body lay half out a cell by the angle the neck was obviously broken. Another body was directly behind Kirk and from the looks of the man had been beaten to death.

And James was staring at her lewdly, apparently not caring that his face was smeared with blood as were his cloths and arms. "Hello, Gaila."

Gaila didn't respond, she could tell that whoever she was talking to wasn't Kirk. Kirk was just as far removed from this man as Dr. Jekyll was from Mr. Hyde in an old Terran classic she had read. Instead she steadied her voice and raised her phaser slightly, "Put the phaser down and come with me."

James made no move to do as she asked. He cocked his head slightly to the side. "So, let me guess. You and the little band of do-gooders McCoy no doubt put together have decided to rescue me…did it ever occur to you maybe I don't want or need to be f—king rescued."

"Doesn't matter what you want." Gaila flicked the setting of her phaser up higher, this time to a heavy stun. Kirk might lose a few brain cells, but that was the least of her worries. "You got two options we can do this the easy way or the hard way."

James smiled. "Actually there's a third option. I can let the guard behind you kill you and then kill him."

Gaila reflexively turned to look and barely had time to register that one of the crewmen she had incapacitated had awoken before all that was left of his head was a smoking stump where it had been.

The body fell to the ground with legs still twitching. Gaila turned back to James with her heart thudding against her ribs.

"Good thing I like you better than him." James remarked eyes the headless corpse dispassionately. He took a step closer.

"Stop." Gaila brought both her hands up to steady the phaser.

"Or what."

"Or I'll shoot."

The look he gave her was one that an adult might give an upstart child. "You really want to see who's the faster draw?"

"Don't try me." Gaila tightened her grip on the phaser, watching his body for the subtle movement indicating he was going to fire.

Abruptly Kirk dropped the phaser, letting the weapon tumble from his hands and fall to the ground. "Okay, okay, I'm all yours."

Gaila didn't trust him for one second and didn't take her eyes off him as she reached up and pulled a set of restraints where she had stashed them in her waistband. She tossed them to James and watched as he snapped each on to his wrist.

At her word , he slowly started walking forward, a step or two at a time, like he was trying not to startle her. His tone was conversational. "So what's the plan…You're going to take me somewhere, try to figure out how you can fix me."

Gaila ignored him still keeping the phaser leveled at his head.

"Got a plan to get poor little Jimmy back without having evil old me come out to play? I'm sure the good old doctor is already on it." James clapped his hands startling Gaila further. "This sounds like an ambitious idea, put me down like the dog I am and save precious Jim, really inspiring stuff."

"There's only two problems with your plan." He slowed. "You do get we're two halves of the same whole, right sweetheart? You can't get rid of me without getting rid of Jim to."

He was now only a few feet away. "and you really think I'm going to go quietly into oblivion, so you can have jimmy back? F—k no, I'm just getting started here."

Gaila was a second to slow. She fired, and the beam passed harmlessly overhead as he crouched down. Before she could fire again he had crossed the distance separating them. Gaila cried out as a foot landed in her midsection slamming her against the wall. The phaser was wrenched from her gripped as manacled hands grabbed the weapon. She smelled a chemical aroma and heard a hiss, and then James hands were free again.

He grabbed her viciously by the hair slamming her head against the wall and momentarily blacking her vision. "You really thought I was going with you. "

He laughed, and he leaned closer using his weight to hold her in place. Gaila didn't try to break free instead she waited for her chance and when he moved enough she freed her knee and slammed it upwards. She was aiming for his groin but he twisted and caught the blow on his hip.

The momentary distraction was enough; she twisted free and slammed her palm into his nose. Bone crunched against her hand and James swore. Gaila backed away moving toward the exit. Kirk had already recovered and had a thick stream of blood pouring down his face. He spat out a mouthful of reddened saliva on the deck and snarled. "You're going to pay for that bitch."

She had barely a warning before James was on her again. A kick snapped out hitting her thigh; she twisted away and barely managed to avoid a punch that would have surely broken her jaw. Gaila wasn't a damsel in distress by far, Orion females were trained in more than just lovemaking and the associated arts, after all how else were they supposed to make sure they returned safe and sound to their house to give the benefit of repeat profits to their house-mistress. But James was a force to be reckoned with on the best of days and now with whatever personality change he had it was no holds barred. A mélange of styles and techniques meshed seamlessly together preventing any defense.

Gaila knew how mismatched the fight was, James wasn't trying to kill her…at least not yet…he was toying with her. Things stuttered to an abrupt halt when James swept her feet out from under her and then before she could go down , grabbed her arm giving it a sharp twist until the crack of breaking bone was audible. Then he released her, and hauled her back upright by a shoulder.

"Was that enough foreplay for you?" This time he made sure to hold her securely. He was pressed against her so tightly she could feel every contour of his body. "Ready to get to the action?" His tongue traced a path across her neck and then he whispered in her ear. "How dare you think you can get away from me. You're going to do what I want when I say, or I'm going to make those bodies lying back there look like child's play compared to what I'm going to do to you." He paused and yanked her jaw upwards forcing her to look into his eyes. "Understand."

Gaila knew she had no choice. She would have activated the transponder Uhura had given her but I the first scuffle it had flew off and the brooch was now lying several feet away just inside the threshold that led to the main ship. If she could just get to the transponder then help would come. She gave a brief nod, while biting the inside of her mouth so hard she tasted copper on her tongue, as she tried to figure out how to move the last few feet needed

She forced herself to relax as James hands explored her body and she felt his mouth on her neck again. Only a few minutes had elapsed they wouldn't be expecting her back yet, and had no idea whether she had succeeded in incapacitating the crew. It would be at least another few minutes before somebody even thought to beam over and look for her. Gaila looked around again until a sharp pain made her turn back to Kirk. He had deliberately pressed his fingers into her broken arm. It was all she could do to avoid screaming in pain, as he repeated the gesture. "Try to stay focused here. Seeing the terror in your eyes is at least half of the fun."

Gaila forced herself to meet his gaze trying to appear unafraid. It would have helped if she could manage to stop trembling. James voice was low and conversational now, "So did you get dressed up for me? " Her heart skipped a beat as he reached a hand down and slowly, teasingly started to rip away the skirt she was wearing. Gaila forced her mind back to years ago, and a trick she had learned from one of the more experienced girls on how to get away from the rougher customers.

She slid her hand down to join his and forced herself to kiss him back. He seemed only momentarily surprised by her sudden acquiescence and then he laughed harshly. " You Orion girls are all alike. Everything else is secondary compared to the chance for a lay."

Gaila's hand drifted lower, until she had found her target. She twisted as hard as she could and bit down on his lips as he went to kiss her again. He gave a deep groan as pain flared through his groin and the metallic taste of blood spread through Gaila's mouth, but she was free.

She took advantage of his momentary surprise to run the last feet out into the main ship, scooping up her brooch as she did so. She had barely crossed the threshold before he tackled her again. She fell heavily and found herself staring into his enraged eyes as she straddled her. "I'm going to kill you."

Then the shimmer of the transporter surrounded him and the next moment they were both on the small transporter pad of the shuttle with Spock looming over them. The Vulcan wasted no time with dispatching Kirk by a nerve pinch before the man could fully register what had happened. Spock guided the suddenly unconscious body to the floor as Gaila slipped out from under his weight.

She was shaking with everything that had happened and the pain of her still broken arm, but she forced herself up allowing McCoy to rush past her and kneel by Kirk's inert body as he started running scans. She felt like every eye was on her, taking in her bruised face and ripped clothing. Instead of answering the questions implied in their gaze she simply focused on Pike and said. "I got him" before walking toward the back of the shuttle to change.

XXXX XXXX

McCoy watched as Kirk started to stir and then abruptly awoke. They had him in four-point restraints but there was still an air of apprehension as they waited to see which one would wake up.

Kirk blinked his eyes staring around confusedly at the narrow quarters of the tiny shuttle's sickbay. His confusion grew as he took in the motley assortment of people standing at the foot of his bed. "Captain Pike, sir…Bones?..." He struggled to sit up only to be the back by the restraints tugging at his limbs. A wave of dizziness washed over him as he strained against the straps holding him down. He hurt all over, his nose was throbbing, his mouth tasted of old blood, a thick line of healing skin could be seen down one arm, and every other inch of his body was sore. It was startling since he had no memory of doing anything to cause the injuries.

Kirk fell silent as his eyes skimmed over the remaining faces. The last thing he remembered was his cell on the prison transport, before he could ask, McCoy had moved closer pulling out a tricorder. "What's the star date?"

"Bones what's going on?"

"Answer the question Jim." McCoy's voice was brusquer than Kirk had ever heard. He answered the doctor's questions and then waited for an explanation. When none was forthcoming he struggled to sit up again, still hampered by the restraints. "Somebody take these off me."

"I don't think that's best right now."

"What the f—k, Bones unlock these now!" Nobody made a move to do as he asked. McCoy turned back meeting eyes with Pike momentarily and then focused back on Kirk.

Pike stepped forward. "Calm down son, it's best for everyone if these stay on. "

"Bullsh—t let me go. What you think I'm some psychopath who needs to be locked up now."

"Jim—"

McCoy didn't get to finish. Instead Chekov who had been lurking in one of the corners moved closer accusingly. Kirk stared at him for a moment before the name came to him, he vaguely remembered the Russian boy from around the academy. The teen's voice was like ice. "You killed a man back at the academy…cut him up."

McCoy broke in trying to get Chekov to be quiet. "Shut up—"

Chekov ignored the doctor and continued. "Gaila says you killed three more on that transport, plus you broke her arm and tried to do a lot more than that…so somebody needs to lock you up."

"That's enough." Pike had crossed the room and grabbed Chekov by the shoulder, giving him a shake when the Russian boy refused to move. Chekov gave Kirk a last glare but then shook off Pike's hand and stepped back. "The three of you step out and shut the door." Pike nodded to Gaila and Uhura.

Kirk felt the color drain from his face. "Is what he said that true?"

Bones didn't meet his eyes but gave a silent nod. Kirk swallowed, racing his brain to try to remember something, but it was all a blank. "What happened?"

"It's not important, we're going to get this figured out. Spock has—"

McCoy didn't get to finish. Spock interrupted. " We should refrain from telling him anything until we know for sure which personality we're talking to."

"You heard him give his name? What more do you want." Bones frowned.

Kirk struggled to keep track of the conversation. "What do you mean? I'm me."

Spock met his eyes. "It's not a question of whether you are you Kirk, but rather whether which version of you is present." Kirk shifted uncomfortably as the Vulcan's scrutiny. "If you would allow me, I can verify which one of you is present, it should be mostly painless I will go no deeper into your consciousness than necessary."

Kirk hesitated; he had an innate distrust of anything breaching his mind. But then again if he thought about it his mind had already been breached, from within. He nodded and waited. Spock's fingers neared his face but before they could make contact, a hand reached out halting the Vulcan.

"Hold it, just what the hell are you planning exactly?"

Spock shook McCoy's hands off, barely avoiding showing his distaste at the unwarranted physical contact. He didn't appear as if he would deign to answer.

Pike answered instead. "It's a mind meld."

"And just how sure are you that this isn't going to have any lasting damage?"

"This is not a mind meld technically speaking more like a telepathic touch; the incidence of harm is rare."

"There's no clear cut procedure for any of this—"

Sock cut him off smoothly, one would have had to really listen to hear the irritation in his voice. "Telepathy is a well versed technique on Vulcan for diagnosing various ailments. I regret that your studies on Earth are not sufficiently advanced that you have had a chance to encounter such complex methods."

"You know what I've had it with you. This is a goddamn mind that you're about to use as your plaything and didn't we already discover that your people have done enough. Hell, did you forget what that bastard on the Conquest said? One of your f—king cousins is probably responsible for this or is that a fact you like to gloss—"

McCoy fell silent at the look Pike gave him and instead settled for glowering at Spock. Spock pointedly ignored the doctor and instead turned back to Kirk. Without preamble the Vulcan's fingers made contact and Kirk had a sensation of something feeling his mind. Brief flashes of memories, feelings, and emotions passed through almost too fast to comprehend and then just as suddenly it was done.

XXXX XXXX

"So Vulcans were working with Kodos?"

"If the intel from the officers on the Conquest is to be believed, then yes." Spock answered.

McCoy snorted. "I believe it , not like they had much choice with you threatening to mind rape them if they didn't tell you what you wanted."

Spock noticeably bristled. "A mind meld is not the same as a forcible sexual act and I had no intention of forcible melding with them I merely implied so to gain their cooperation"

McCoy's retort was left unsaid as Pike gave the doctor a warning glance.

Pike picked up the thread of the conversation temporarily preventing another dispute. "We ran a check for any Vulcans that were among the Tarsus survivors and a few names came back. There's nothing among their records that stands out but maybe some of the names sound familiar to you."

Kirk took the data padd being offered and scanned the list of names. It took a few moments for him to concentrate enough to even read the words. He could feel all eyes on him and knew that part of the reason was everybody was waiting for him to go crazy again. Chekov, the Russian kid was staunchly refusing to speak to him. Gaila had her arm in a makeshift sling as the break finished healing , and even though he had clumsily apologized for something he had no memory of doing he didn't miss how the slight smile she have him in return didn't reach her eyes or how quickly she had been to feign work elsewhere so she could get away from him.

Even Bones was treating him differently though in this case, it was only marginally off normal. Still it didn't help to know that the hypo in his friends pocket wasn't filled with drugs for anaphylaxis but instead a cocktail to knock him out should he go ape sh—t again.

He raised a hand scrolling through the names, until one made him pause. "Him, if anybody it's him." Kirk jabbed a shaking finger at the entry opening a bio and passed the padd to Pike.

"Su'lak?" Kirk nodded wordlessly, and winced as a jolt of pain flashed through his head. McCoy noticed the expression and immediately whipped out a tricorder.

"What's wrong? Dizziness, blurred vision—"

"A headache—" Kirk pushed the tricorderr McCoy had shoved in his face out the way, and massaged his neck trying to ease the tension he felt building. McCoy wasn't to be deterred so easily.

"Jim this could be—"

"It's a god damn normal as f—k headache Bones, not a descent into madness and I do not want a hypo for it, so piss off."

McCoy snapped his tricorder shut but didn't move back from where he had positioned himself near Kirk's shoulder.

"Okay so he was some sort of doctor or scientist from what I remember." Kirk, rubbed his face trying to ease the pain which was building behind his eyes. His voice was shaky as he picked up the thread of conversation and forced himself to recall more about the man. "Before the famine started he used to visit the schools and colleges. He ran tests on the students…not anything that would be considered odd…I think…I can't really remember every session with him."

"You were a part of these tests?" Pike asked straightening up from where he had been leaning against a console.

Kirk nodded. "Me and some of the other students . He was only interested in a few of us. From what I remember he was running some kind of experiment on consciousness and mental dissociation."

"If the man you speak is the same , he was banned from Vulcan at least fifty years prior." Spock spoke up. The Vulcan continued as all eyes turned to him. "He was forbidden by the high council, after the full extent of his research was discovered. He had numerous forays into separation of the mind, his exact research can best be summed up as trying to extract portions of an individual psyche and creating new personalities from them. He worked to create personalities and consciousness that were tailored for a specific task or ideology. However, his work was outlawed after several of the individuals became irreparable insane due to his….modifications."

"Wait are you saying that this sick f—k is responsible for what's happening to Jim." McCoy asked.

"It is more than likely if he continued the same research on Tarsus."

"Why the hell don't you lock up your criminals like the rest of the galaxy?" McCoy rounded on Spock.

Spock didn't rise to the bait and left McCoy to once again fume in silence.

"Continue son" Pike said gently nodding at Kirk, who had blanched at Spock's words.

Kirk cleared his throat. "After the famine, I heard he was still continuing his research and some of the people I knew from before that were among Kodos saved weren't the same once they spent time in the compound…. But nobody was the same then….people didn't care what they did to live a little longer…and then when I was caught…I didn't see him again but he came for some of the other prisoners…made them tell him what Kodos wanted." Kirk bit his lips so hard he tasted blood in his mouth, as he remembered being back on Tarsus. "I always wondered why he didn't do the same to me, but he and Kodos used to talk like one day I would tell them what they wanted all they had to do was break me enough. And I remember back at the academy Lenore was saying something about how I was so much more than I knew …this is what she was talking about wasn't it?...It's because I'm not me not really, I'm whatever Kodos wanted me to be."

Nobody answered but the answer was clear on every face.

Pike interrupted the silence. "If they did this to Jim, then who knows how many others are walking around without knowing and one day something is going to set them off."

"I believe the "something" that would set them off has already happened Captain." Spock called up a series of news reports on his Padd and read them out loud. " A security guard named Car'ro killed several prominent figures at a London diplomatic conference before killing himself. Richard Lyons, a technician, on the New Horizon mining ship killed all his crew mates before stealing the ship and the dilithium cargo. Martha Calbury tried to assassinate the vice secretary of the UFP, these are just a few of among at least a hundred other incidents. To casual observer there is no connection but upon closer inspection each and every one of them was a survivor of Tarsus."

"So Kodos is setting whatever plan he has into motion, the only question is what's the plan?" Pike mused out loud.

"We have no way of knowing that. The officers on the Conquest didn't even know they just had orders."

"I know what the plan is."

Everybody turned to face Kirk.

"How? Jim you said you don't remember anything. "Bones added, his face revealing the caution that he tried to keep from his voice.

"I don't but the other me does." Kirk bit off a hiss of pain as the headache intensified like a spike was going through his brain. He forced the words out pass teeth gritted from the pain. "I was one of Kodos'… favorites…if anybody knows what the plan is I do."He straightened up and looked Spock in the eyes. "Just do whatever stuff you do and pull it from my head."

"It's not that simple."

"Why not? I can't remember on my own, I'm giving you permission ." Kirk paused then continued with a forced levity. "Take the opportunity before I change my mind about somebody rooting around in my head."

McCoy gave a hiss of displeasure behind him but Kirk ignored the doctor. Spock shook his head. "I cannot root around in your head as you say without causing severe damage, at the least you may be in an irretrievable coma afterwards or even dead."

Kirk swallowed sharply, weighing his options of which there were precious few. "Fine, do it."

"Hold it" McCoy hurried to intervene by stepping between Kirk and Spock. He turned to his friend. "Listen do you understand what Spock said? Dead Jim, as in not coming back or a coma for the rest of your life that's your options…those are your only two options and you're still saying yes? What the hell is wrong with you? What Spock's suggesting shouldn't even be an choice, good god man do you want to die?"

Kirk tightened his jaw. "This is the best option. Bones, I've killed at least four people and have no memory of doing it. I threatened to kill you, I've tried to kill Gaila, and who knows what else I've done. And I can't remember f—king one minute of it. Sooner or later I'm going to flip again and wake up later to find out I've done something else."

"Jim, that-that….person isn't you."

"Yes, he is. He's a part of me, and you can say it's not, but you're not the one who woke up with somebody else's blood splashed across you or saw photos of a man you dismembered."

McCoy flinched at the reminder of what had been done to Relik.

"So I choose this, I rather be dead then live like this. And maybe this way you can find out what Kodos is planning, because Tarsus was just the start." Kirk's voice softened. " You didn't see Tarsus Bones…you don't want Joanna growing up in a galaxy Kodos even exists in."

Kirk met McCoy's eyes and the doctor looked like he might back down. Then his eyes hardened. "We're not doing this Jim, there's got to be another way."

"There is no other way."

"You just want to jump on the grenade is that it? Make yourself a damn martyr?" Kirk didn't bother to answer, instead he turned to Pike hoping that at least the captain would see the sense of the plan and allow him to proceed. Pike however was still discussing the procedure with Spock.

"To find out the information you have to force the other part of his mind to give up the information right?" Pike asked Spock, the Vulcan nodded regarding Pike curiously.

"The best way to describe it would be having to pick his mind apart and searching for a proverbial needle in the wreckage."

Kirk tried not to listen to closely, he had already made his decision and like it he was going through with it , but that didn't mean he wanted to hear all the details. Even so he couldn't help overhearing. An insane desire to laugh fuelled by the absurdity of the whole situation, came to his lips as he imagined what people would have said a few centuries ago if they could have heard the predicament, it was like a modern day Dr. Jekyll , Mr. Hyde. An idea occurred to him even as that though faded. It was a shot in the dark but it had to beat either death or permanent unconsciousness.

He blurted out. "Could you merge me back together?" The words sounded strange, mostly because it was off to think of himself as two people. He continued as the idea formed. "If that bastard Su' Lak did manage to separate my consciousness or whatever, couldn't you just undo what he did and then I would know what my other half already knows?"

"Theoretically yes, but the process would be difficult and have would no idea where to start. Some of his early subjects were attempted to be merged by our most skilled minds and they failed. Even if he managed to refine his process undeniable damage was still done when he initially separated you. Your personality , memories will all be altered. "

"But you could do it right?"

Spock continued thoughtfully. "Yes I could. It would arguably be less damaging than attempting to forcibly extract information , however the risk are still there."

"Right now you're saying if you go picking in his mind he's going to be dead or in a coma, I don't think any other plan can get much worse." McCoy growled.

"Agreed Doctor, however I doubt Kirk being criminally insane would be considered an improvement and there's about a 75% chance he will be if I attempt to merge his consciousnesses."

"Okay, so we're not doing this, either!"

Kirk glanced up. "Bones, this is better than—"

"Shut up Jim" McCoy rounded on him. " You've got three options and they're all likely to leave you f—ked up as hell. So we're not doing any of them."

"This isn't your decision!"

"Calm down son." Pike ordered.

Kirk ignored him , his eyes were solely focused on the doctor who was vehemently threatening now him now. "Like hell it is. You're mentally unstable, I'm your doctor and as of right now I'm declaring you unfit to make decisions for yourself. So I'm saying no."

"This isn't your f-king decision." Kirk snarled, before he was aware of having done so, he had sprang from his seat and slammed McCoy against a bulkhead, with his hands gripping the doctor's throat in a death grip.

As soon as he realized what he had done he backed away from the doctor, instinctively blocking Spock's hand as the Vulcan's fingers neared his shoulder preparing to deliver a nerve pinch.

He whipped around, breathing hard to find five sets of eyes fastened on him. McCoy was sputtering behind him as the doctor gasped for breath. "Okay Jim, why don't you just sit back down?" Uhura spoke soothingly, her face pinched with nervousness as she watched him.

"We'll take about this son, nobody's got to make a final decision now." Pike added.

Kirk was well aware that half of them thought he had switched over. He hadn't missed Chekov silently slip a phaser from his pocket or that Gaila had edged even farther away from him.

He sat down, blinking back the pain of what was now and almost blinding headache. McCoy had gotten to his feet with Spock's help and now was warily watching him. Kirk swallowed through a suddenly thick throat and tried to explain. " I'm still me, I didn't go dark side or whatever. I just don't know what came over me, all of a sudden I …" He petered out unsure how to the feeling right before he had attacked McCoy.

Spock of all people surprised everyone by providing the answer. "You felt uncontrollable rage, perhaps?"

Kirk glanced up from where he had been staring at the ground to avoid their gaze. The words slipped out his mouth mostly from surprise that the Vulcan had characterized it so perfectly. "Yeah, I did…how did you know?"

"Many of the test subjects on Vulcan behaved similarly, their emotions became more and more labile and those who had managed to acquire second personalities increased in the frequency that the flashed back and forth as time progressed."

"Even if he does nothing he vill still go crazy?"

"Crazy is a broad term unable to encompass the full range of behaviors he will exhibit, but yes Mr. Chekov you're essentially correct." Spock answered.

McCoy looked like he wanted to object, but even the doctor knew when he was beat. "Fine but if we do this crazy mind meld crap, I'm monitoring every second of it."

Spock nodded "Of course doctor, I—"

Kirk lost track of the conversation as agony surged through his head. He would have gladly took McCoy up the offer of a hypo right then, but he couldn't even begin to form coherent words past the spike that he felt was in his skull. His vision blurred, and nausea washed over him as the pain increased. He leaned over with his head in his hands and was just in time to throw up .

Hands were touching him now; somebody was asking him what was wrong. He could hear Bones fumbling for a hypo, but that was all going distant. His awareness faded and everything went dark.

It's official I can't keep to a strict update schedule for this story and go to school, and work so something has to give. Weekly updates I'll have to go for until I'm finished with school...but on the bright side I did give you a nice long chap!