Wooooooo boy! This chapter contains lots of technical stuff that required a fair bit of research. But I liked it, can't be all fun and games now can it? ... Actually considering the last third of this chapter, it can be fun and games.
Thank you lovelies for all the faves, follows and reviews!
Wowza48: My update schedule is going to be a little messed up due to the winter holidays, (I will be taking a break during the week of Christmas) but on average I update on Wednesdays, then on either Saturday or Sunday, depending on how fast I get it done. I will not update before Wednesday though. But keep an eye on the AN at the bottom of the page for update notices! :D
Notsae: It's the natural talent of not caring about consequences and being brutally honest. XD Makes life more fun with that approach.
crazby: Love you too hun! Deidara told the truth to Kisame because of the fact that he values the truth above all else. That is why he stayed in the Akatsuki after Itachi's death, because Obito revealed his face. More or less Dei wanted to nab up Kisame before Obito could, helps that Kisame is extremely loyal to Itachi!
MelonLordOfMelons: Your furry comment made me laugh so much. You might like the pairing, considering I never force a pairing and instead try to make it as organic as possible. ^.^ So at the very least no one will sit there scratching their heads.
VenaHope: Remember, Dei is trying to change the plot, but that doesn't stop the Akatsuki from targeting Naruto outside of Konoha. However, Pein will keep his distance anyway because Naruto has too much protection at the moment, later on it may be a different story on what the Akatsuki will do. :3
Ringo1327: This is actually a rather important question. Deidara (or rather the SI) has the knowledge I had when first writing this fic. Any opinions or knowledge I get at this moment regarding the series, will not reflect onto Deidara and I will need to write a scenario to fix his opinions (Like with Karin). He does know about Boruto, however at the time of writing the first chapter, I hated the series with a burning passion. But earlier this week I had watched a few episodes with some college buddies and my opinions have changed due to that and I find the series to be okay. But, Deidara will still hate Boruto and the series as a whole because I will not change his ideals to match my current ones. He does like Mitsuki though. Really good question! :D
Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf: You most likely laugh because it's true, it really is just a hickey that gives you superpowers. XD
Yurei Hanatsuki (x2): I bet Gai stores his genjutsu powers in his eyebrows! Also for the sexy jutsu, do you mean Hone Onna? Never thought of it that way, but that is a good visual comparison actually. Yes, I watched Hell Girl, loved it back in middle school, I even have a backpack! :D Also I ain't judging, read as much as you want hun!
silverwolf310: Kisame and Anko would be an interesting pairing I have to admit, but Anko's love life won't even be touched until much much more later in the story. There are gender changing jutsus, and actually you are the closest anyone has gotten to guessing what it would be used for. Still partially incorrect though, but very close. You'll see when shippuden rolls around.
Shadow-Realm-Productions: I have never seen the Deadpool trailer, nor have I ever watched Deadpool so I will have to take your word for it. Glad you liked the chapter though!
duchessliz: Kisame and Zabuza will be meeting each other very soon, most likely in a side-story so it doesn't break the flow of the main story. Dei is actually not going to get involved in the Oro fight, because of Kimimaro being ill. But if they did fight, Orochimaru would just nope out in pure frustration. XD Hope you like this chapter if you want to see Konoha's reactions to Itachi!
ArmCannos34: Itachi needs to work on his people skills huh? Also, I loved that I can just turn Sasuke into a little artist and no one complains about it, better than having him be a brooding jerk all the time. I tend to love stories where Sasuke doesn't take the revenge route more than the canon timeline.
UseFistNotMouth: Never watched Deadpool, I'm not a fan of Marvel (I'm a DC kind of girl), I also don't rewrite scenes, only things that happen off screen. Sorry. Pretty sure someone has done a Deadpool-Naruto parody somewhere on this site that you may enjoy though. :)
triazatriborinane: Dang… that is a long username. And I thought mine was a pain in the butt to write. Anyway, I like responding to my reviews because it's my way of not only thanking them, but also keeps everyone updated on what is going on. Some will ask questions that others may be thinking of, but were too shy to ask. Also, Sasuke will get the Mangekyo, just in a different way than in the original timeline, Deidara can be pretty sneaky in how he handles things. :D
Mackenzie Willow: That is more or less Kisame's thought process throughout the whole thing. Just, "I am so done with this shit." XD
Haou: I have already confirmed that this story is ItaDei. How does him having womanly body parts or not determine if he ended up with Itachi? This story will be having both yaoi and straight pairings (also maybe yuri, depending on how things go.) So yeah… Deidara will end up with Itachi, as a man.
Warning: Swear words, violence, pain (not the character), questioning of sanity, lots of technicalities. The usual stuff.
Disclaimer: Okay! I do not own Naruto, but I did use a few lines from the Netflix subbing in some scenes, most of them I edited. I still do not own them!
Just before the end of the previous chapter
3rd person POV
At a pub in a town known for gambling, four shinobi sat in the corner discussing matters that flew over the other patron's heads. Sadly for them, their peaceful time eating ended rather abruptly.
"What do you mean she's suppose to be the Godaime Hokage?!" Naruto was beyond pissed, sure Deidara had explained to him that they were going on a hunt for the new Hokage. But Tsunade is not only refusing the job, but is also disrespecting everyone who was previously Hokage.
"You should teach your student some manners Jiraiya, unlike your previous student, this one seemed to be lacking in both brains and looks." Tsunade draws a full hand of cards. Smirking when Jiraiya had to explain why the Yondaime was a harsh comparison.
Naruto growls lowly, "Why do we need her?! Why not let someone who actually cares about the village run it! Like Deidara-nii, dattebayo!"
Shizune pauses, 'The missing nin? He vanished a few years back, right?' Looking between Tsunade and the loud duo in confusion.
Jiraiya sighs, "Naruto, no amount of money in the world would convince your brother to become Hokage. If he did, he'd most likely end up destroying half of the council." A sweatdrop forms on his head at the idea of the bomber running Konoha. He had to admit, the kid had charisma, but he could tell if Deidara got involved in politics it would get ugly fast.
Tsunade slowly looks up at the ceiling, "Being Hokage is a bother, no one but a fool would take it on."
Jiraiya had to move fast to stop Naruto from attacking Tsunade. Patrons nearby looked over to see a head of blond hair trying to rush over to someone hidden behind the screens.
"Naruto, we are in a pub." Jiraiya sat Naruto down so the kid was standing on the table.
"Anyone who makes fun of the old man or the yondaime, it doesn't matter if you are a woman! I'll clobber you to dust!" Naruto slams his fist into his hand, glaring at the older woman.
No one moved for a moment until Tsunade got to his level, "You have guts to confront me… let's take this outside."
Outside the pub, Jiraiya quickly noted a white hawk circling the area above them, the species is not known for living in this area. But he chose to not bring attention to it.
Tsunade raised a single finger, "Come at me with all you got. I'll only need one finger."
When Naruto charged at her, she simply poked his forehead to send the kid flying backwards, which he quickly recovered.
Tsunade places a hand on her hip, "Hey brat, answer me this. Why do you get so passionate at the mention of the title Hokage?"
Naruto smirks, "I will become Hokage one day, no matter the cost. That is my dream!" Tsunade begins to have memory flashes of both her brother and her lover having the same dream. (AN: I had to rewrite that 3 times to make it not sound like Dan and Nawaki were the same person… ew.)
Naruto cups one hand over the other and a ball of chakra forms, one that was all too familiar to the adults around him. An imperfect rasengan spun around his hand as he ran towards the woman, only for her to create a long crator using only her pointer finger. This resulted in him getting stuck in the earth.
"Jiraiya! How could you teach a talentless brat the rasengan?"
"Talentless?!" Naruto grits his teeth at the woman, "Says who?!"
"Says me, you can't master a jutsu only Jiraiya and the yondaime could use.* He's just giving you false hope." Tsunade glares at Jiraiya for his choices in teaching.
Naruto slowly began to see red, he's so close to learning the jutsu, he has been training on his chakra control since he was a kid. Tsunade's words not only insult him and Jiraiya, but Deidara as well, 'No one insults my brother…'
"Give me three days, and I'll master this jutsu, dattebayo!"
Tsunade smirks, "Is that a bet?" Shizune eyes her confused.
"You bet it is, dattebayo!" The kid snickers internally at his pun.
"Fine then, I'll give you one week. If you can master the jutsu, I'll acknowledge that you have what it takes to become Hokage. I'll even throw in my necklace." Tsunade points at her necklace calmly as Shizune flips out.
Naruto folds his arms as he looks at the necklace, "That'd make a nice birthday gift for Hinata…"
Jiraiya sweatdrops, 'He doesn't understand women… yet his first thoughts on a priceless necklace is to give it to a girl for her birthday.' Clearing his throat, "Naruto, that is the Shodai Hokage's necklace, worth three mountains."
Naruto frowns at Jiraiya, "Why would I want a mountain Ero Sennin? Also, Deidara-nii would never let me have that much money dattebayo. He'd lock it away until I was 18." He then returned his attention to Tsunade.
"However, if you lose…" She holds up Naruto's fat frog wallet, "I get all the money in here."
"Gah! Gama-chan!" Naruto checks his pockets, trying to figure out when she grabbed it, but he soon smirks, "It's a bet then!"
"I'll add to that bet, un!" Everyone's heads shot up to see a figure leap off the white hawk and land besides Naruto, black trench coat billowing out.
'Must he always be so flashy?' Jiraiya facepalms as the teen stood straight to look at Tsunade.
Deidara's POV
I kept my face neutral as Shizune got in a fight stance at seeing me, "Oi, Shizune-san! I haven't been a missing nin for over 5 years now, un!" As if to prove my point, I jab a thumb at my forehead protector, resulting in the woman to relax, but is still confused.
"Eh?! Deidara-nii? What are you doing here dattebayo?!" Naruto was quick to question me, while Tsunade mulled over the fact that I'm asking to join in the bet. Of course she cannot back done from a gamble.
"I was in the neighborhood and as your legal guardian, I feel as though it is my duty to help out with this wager, un." I pat my brother's head, but kept my eye on Tsunade.
Soon, the lady tilts her head, "What are you offering?"
Pulling out a personal scroll of mine, I unseal a large metal briefcase. Opening it, showing stacks upon stacks of ryo that filled the case to max capacity. This was five years worth of S-rank, A-rank and several B-rank missions that I saved up just for this occasion.
Helps when I lack a proper hobby that requires me to spend money. I spoiled my brothers until they were able to fund their own activities, and afterwards I would just make sure I had plenty of money saved up for living expenses and the rest went into the briefcase.
Tsunade and Shizune gaped at the money while I stared them down, "If Naruto is unable to master the rasengan, all of this money is yours. But if he does master it, you have to heal two people of my choosing. You will not refuse to treat them and you can only ask non-medical based questions afterwards… I am aware of your skills Tsunade-sama, I will know if you purposely do not perform at your best, un." I allowed my tone at the end to hint to her what will happen if she tried to cheat her way out of this bet.
This didn't falter the woman, in fact, she straightened herself out with a smirk, "How about this: I can see talent when it's in front of me, unlike that brat." I snicker as Naruto shouted in protest, "You will also have a week, if you can master the rasengan, I will heal these two people and cure them of whatever is wrong with them."
I raise an eyebrow, "You sure you want to make this bet, un?"
"I'm positive you cannot master this jutsu, do you want it written in blood or something?" She gloats.
I allow a sadistically cruel smirk to lay on my face, "You just lost the bet Tsunade-sama, un."
Everyone froze as a spinning ball of chakra hovered above my left hand. That time I spent training away from Naruto and Jiraiya was to master this jutsu, granted I had a head start during my missions outside of Konoha.
"Woah, how did you do that Deidara-nii?!" Naruto stares at me in awe, unaware of what was going on in my head right now.
'Holy shit this hurts! Fuck!' I kept my face blank as it felt as though the very muscles in my hand were being ripped apart. Something is either wrong with my chakra, or my palm mouth didn't appreciate the pressure the jutsu caused it.
Before it could cause damage to my hand, I slam the rasengan onto the ground, creating a round, spiral crater. Standing up, I quickly hide my hand in hopes of no one noticing it shaking almost violently, the pain was still lingering.
"The first person you heal will be my little brother, not Naruto." I had to add that as she was staring at Naruto with confusion, "Our other brother Kimimaro, who is currently in the hospital dying of an unknown disease. I doubt he will live another year at this rate, un."
Tsunade's eyes widen, "Why put your brother's health and well-being on the line?! Why didn't you just ask?!" As an older sibling herself, I can tell she thought I was being an idiot.
I scoff, "Don't get a bleeding heart on me Tsunade-sama. You wouldn't have considered it even if I got on my knees and begged you to heal him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you said he was a lost cause." Guilt flooded her orange eyes as she realized I was right, "Besides… I only make bets when I know I have the advantage, un."
Tsunade walks away, pausing only for a moment to stare at me. I turn my attention to Jiraiya, gritting my teeth as the pain in my arm began to spread, "I'll be at the inn you two are staying at, I'm next door then I'll be gone in the morning, un."
Naruto pouts, "Aw come on Deidara-nii! You have to help me with my training, dattebayo!"
I give my brother a soft smile, "I would love to stay baby… but I have to remain by Kimimaro's side. You just make sure Tsunade goes to Konoha, un." Naruto's face lights up with excitement and determination, realizing that the bet I made would get Kimi proper treatment.
I made a beeline for the inn I was staying at and filled up the bathtub. Removing my coat I plunge my left arm into the steaming water. The water splashed onto the ground as my arm violently shook and I had to slam my forehead against the bathtub to numb the pain.
"Fuck… fucking hell… I am never using this fucking jutsu again!" This has to be because of my palm mouths. I felt a similar pain while training, but I kept ignoring the warning signs. This was my only chance to make sure Tsunade did what I wanted.
Of course she would heal Kimimaro once she was Hokage, if she could fix up Lee, Kimi would be a walk in the park. Not to mention he's a kid.
This bet was to ensure she would heal Itachi.
I was so preoccupied with my arm that I didn't notice a feminine hand being placed on my shoulder. Jolting on the spot, I twist my head, only to lock my eye with two orange eyes… how did Tsunade get in here-nevermind, she's a kunoichi.
"Let me look at your arm, kid." Tsunade tried to pull my arm out of the water, but didn't expect me to move out of the way.
"I'm not part of the deal, un." I frown, not able to trust her at this moment. She hasn't had Naruto's talk-no-jutsu yet, so for all I know this was her way of getting out of the deal.
The woman rolls her eyes and yanks my arm out of the water, effectively splashing her face, "I know that, just let me take a look, I'm a little rusty anyway…" Her hand glowed green as she hovered it over my hand, her face twisting into confusion, "You're body is incompatible with the rasengan… I suggest not using it again, you could have permanently damage your nerves and render the arm paralyzed."
I Iet out a sigh, "No need to tell me twice… I only used the jutsu to ensure my brother and another person was healed, un."
She gives me a suspicious look, "Who is the other person?"
I look away, feeling my face heat up, "You'll see… they're… well I…" I scratch my cheek slightly with my right hand, "They mean a lot to me…"
"A lover?" Oh sweet Jesus, why is every woman I meet blunt?
I wave my right hand frantically, "Nonononono! They don't see me like that and we are not in a relationship, I just care about them, un!"
Tsunade gives me a knowing smirk before releasing my left arm, the pain was gone and my arm stopped shaking, "We made a deal, even if that brother of your's loses, I'll show up the Konoha just long enough to heal the two people." She dries her face off with a towel and was about to leave before noticing the curse mark, "That's…"
'Oh! Tsunade is a chakra expert!' I sprung to my feet and pointed at it, "Can you explain why I'm alive?!" That was the most poorly worded question I have ever asked, "I mean, this curse mark only has a 10% survival rate, and I don't understand how I lived through it, un." I chose to not mention the voice that told me it wasn't my time, I wanted a… I guess a scientific reason. As scientific as chakra can get.
Tsunade's hand glows green while I quietly waited for her to examine the mark. After a few moments, she pulls away, "I cannot say for sure… but it may have to do with your yang chakra being compatible with the mark."
I pause for a moment, "Wait… but I'm an earth user, how does that make sense?"
Tsunade sighs, "Yin and Yang are chakra natures outside of the elemental cycle, certain shinobi have specific amounts of either one to help with their jutsu. The best example is my clan, Senju, our chakra is closely linked with yang. Our opposites, the Uchiha, are linked with yin. Despite you being an earth user, you have a close link with yang due to your jutsu type and kekkei genkai… your personality may also be linked with it." She smirks when I give her a glare.
I think for a moment before slowly nodding, "I remember an old friend of mine telling me about all this… earth is linked with yin…" I place my hand on the mark, "Meaning if I have yang chakra…"
"You survived because the curse mark balanced you out in both yin and yang." Tsunade places a hand on her hip, "Why do you have that mark anyway?"
"...Let's just say I am a massive thorn in Orochimaru's side and leave it at that, un." I rub my neck with a nervous chuckle. Tsunade stares at me before sighing and leaving.
I slip back on my coat after drying myself off, despite what Tsunade told me, I can't help but think that hand and its voice is what also kept me alive.
One week later (AN: Sorry, no battle :P)
I stayed by Kimimaro's side the entire week, only leaving him to take care of myself and for a few other reasons. Even when the hospital wasn't allowing visitors anymore the nurses knew better than to try to kick me out.
Itachi and Kisame returned to the village three days ago, but are staying hidden in the compound to avoid unwanted attention. Thankfully, Sasuke was there to keep them occupied… I heard from the duck that Itachi accidentally spooked him mid-painting and almost stabbed his brother with a pallet knife.
I need to stop getting Sasuke pallet knives.
I only visited briefly to watch the two destroy their Akatsuki rings and to inform them of Tsunade. Though, I decided to not mention the bet and what happened afterwards.
Due to all of the tubes and wires, not only was Kimimaro unable to get up, but rarely did he have the energy to talk. By the second day, I couldn't bare the silence anymore, so I told him stories. Helps that I was such a huge bookworm and overall nerd in my past life. I was able to tell him tales of magical schools and dark wizards, people fighting with laser swords in space, and girls transforming using the power of friendship and love~.
… He didn't really enjoy the magical girl stories. I can't blame him though, they can be pretty stupid when you explain it to someone.
Tsunade walked into the hospital room by the end of the week and looked over Kimimaro. I gave her a small smile, seeing the gentle look in her eyes as she examined my brother. Naruto's talk-no-jutsu does wonders for some people.
"Hokage-sama… all of his medical records are on the end of the bed, un." She snaps her head at me in shock, not expecting me to address her so formally. She was even more surprised when I gave her a respectful bow and quietly waited for Kimi's treatment to start.
I have nothing but respect for Tsunade after she became Hokage, the things she does and the change in character was beautiful. Helps that my first introduction of her was in the Pein Invasion arc.
Tsunade examines all of the medical files with narrowed eyebrows, "This has nothing to do with genetics. I think I know what's wrong with him."
My back straightens to attention as she slowly ran her glowing hands over Kimimaro, stopping above his lungs, "His lungs… that's what causing all of these problems. Not long after the third shinobi war I noticed this infection spread in the more densely battle areas. Though this doesn't seem contagious unlike the one I know of."
I deadpan, 'He… is dying from a mutated tuberculosis? And these medical shinobi cannot detect it?' Slowly nodding, "I think I understand what's wrong… and I wouldn't be surprised if the other person has it too… or they have something much worse, and I pray it's not what I think it is."*
Tsunade nods slightly, "Yes… speaking of this person, go collect them. I should still have enough chakra to heal them, I just finished up healing Kakashi at the request of Naruto. I also need to prep another kid for surgery over the next few days."
Rock Lee… right, I've been having Sakura and Karin watch over him for Gai and make sure he doesn't overwork his training. I'll need to request that Tsunade trains the girls in medical ninjutsu later.
I had a clone collect Itachi because I didn't want to leave Kimi's side. Naruto joined in and once he saw the state Kimi was in, he quietly sat in my lap and allowed me to hold him close.
The room was silent for almost 15 minutes, when Kimimaro suddenly inhaled a large gulp of air and Tsunade stood straight as he sat up to breath.
Tsunade turns to me, smiling proudly, "Have me check on him once a week for the next few months and it should be removed permanently." She steps to the side so Naruto and I could wrap our arms around Kimimaro. Nurses that were nearby had to run in to unplug Kimi so nothing could be damaged.
"You're going to be okay, dattebayo!" Naruto clung to Kimi, tears rolling down his face, as if the stress of the world left his body.
"Otouto…? Nii-sama…?" Kimi was dazed after being unable to function for over a week, his voice was croaky from the tube being down his esophagus. Poor kid also lot quite a bit of weight too, having a pure liquid based diet. It's going to take weeks to gain his muscle mass back.
I buried my face in his hair, tears threatening to form but I held them back, "My baby… my Kimi-baby… it's okay… you can keep being a shinobi and grow up…" I kiss his head then turn to Tsunade, "Thank you… Hokage-sama…"
"Tsunade. Hokage-sama makes me seem old."
"Tsunade-sama then…" I gave her another smile as I returned to hugging my brother, having them both in my lap as I slowly rocked back and forth. After a few moment, I slowly remove myself from the boys, letting Naruto help Kimi get on his feet. I hand Tsunade the two scrolls Hiruzen gave me before the exams, quickly unsealing his will so she could read it.
She eyes it oddly, "I was informed that Hiruzen had no will."
I groan, "Knew it. Gramps gave me a copy just incase his original will suddenly 'vanished'. It was the only way to ensure that I didn't have ANBU at my door, un."
Tsunade cautiously reads it, slowly relaxing as she recognized Hiruzen's handwriting and the Hokage seal, but raised an eyebrow, "What did he mean by pardon the crimes of Uchiha Ita-"
"Deidara?" Well, speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
Standing at the entrance was Itachi and my clone, looking thoroughly confused and slightly concerned with how Tsunade was staring at him. I wonder if I should say something...
"You look like Teme, dattebayo!"
Way to point out the obvious Naruto.
May the timeskip be with you. Also haven't seen this in a while, huh?
I just wanted Itachi to be healed and enjoy a nice bowl of ramen with my brothers. It was supposed to be so simple, so easy… so why?
"We will not stand allowing a murderous S-ranked shinobi in Konoha!"
Why the fuck am I stuck in a meeting with both the shinobi and civilian council regarding Itachi?!
Not long after taking Kimimaro to Neji's to be watched over, the elders caught wind of Itachi being in Konoha because of me. So now Itachi and I are standing in the center of this big U-shaped table while a bunch of old farts are screaming at both us and each other. Itachi doesn't seem to mind it, even voluntarily having his chakra sealed for this.
Though when they tried to do the same to me… I may have caused five ANBU to piss themselves.
"This is so dull…" I groan loudly to get their attention, to be honest I think the only people that are having issues are the elders and the civilian council. Hiashi is just watching this passively, and the Ino-Shika-Cho trio are secretly munching on snacks under the table. The other clan heads are waiting for Tsunade's words.
One of the men growls at me, "What is dull, you traitor?" Wow, traitor? Harsh man.
"Based on looking at your face, I'd say your sex life." I hear Tsume and several clan heads snort under their breaths as I examine my nails, "Hiruzen knew from the first month of me coming to Konoha that Itachi would be returning to the village, un."
The civilians gape at me in shock… really?
"Why is this such a shocker?" I started listing things off my fingers, "I've adopted the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, adopted the last Kaguya of Kirigakure, stole a set of twins from Orochimaru, invited one of the Seven Swordsmen and an ice user, stole a unique healer from Kusagakure…" I pause as I just noticed the council has started to stare at me in shock, along with Tsunade, "Did he honestly not tell you all of this?"
There was a unison of "NO!" from the civilians and a series of groaning "Yes…" from the shinobi.
"You have quite the history Deidara…" Itachi looks at me impressed.
I give him a cheeky grin, "Helps when Hiruzen just let me do as I please, un."
"Why should we let you continue with this?!" A woman shouts at me. They never gave me their names, so I'm struggling to keep track.
"I thought Konoha was attracted to unique kekkei genkais? Besides, it's in Hiruzen's will to clear Itachi's name due to Danzo's influence causing the massacre, un." I began randomly picking at some dead skin on the edge of my nails, seemingly ticking off the civilians even more.
Koharu pipes in, "Hiruzen had no will."
Tsunade slams Hiruzen's will on the table, "This was presented to me not long after become Hokage." The village elders glare at me, as in that span of time I had used golden clay to make a halo and now have it floating above my head. The amused Uchiha watching me doesn't help their mood. Tsunade clears her throat, "It has Sarutobi-sensei's handwriting and signed in his blood. I plan on following his dying wishes, especially since the boy has explained the truth to me."
Itachi uncomfortably shifts at the constant mention of the massacre, I gently pat his arm in comfort as a result.
The man, whose sex life I insulted, turns to Tsunade, "You cannot let this brat do as he pleases! Who knows what else he'll bring into the village!"
"I already have Hoshigaki Kisame prepared to join too, un." I love that these guys look like they're about to keel over at the fact I brought in another Seven Swordsman.
"How did you do this?!" Oh, that was Tsume, though she sounded more excited than anything else.
"I am very good at persuading people that value truth above all else, un." I saw no reason in not being both vague, but honest to Tsume. She's a badass in her own right.
I am wisely going to not mention that I have more people in mind that I want to bring into Konoha. Best to keep it all a surprise.
Once again, the civilian council turn their attention to Tsunade, another man spoke up, "Please tell us you have a solution to this mess Hokage-sama…"
Tsunade fished out the other scroll, the really fat one titled "Use when Deidara is involved" and unravels it to the point where it begins to pile on the ground.
Itachi and I exchange glances, I didn't read that one either.
She scans the massive paper, face becoming more and more frustrated as she kept unraveling it. Finally, she just stares straight on with a blank face, as if finding what she was looking for.
"It's Deidara."
Even the damn crickets went quiet, and I discovered that Itachi's back makes a really good muffler for laughter.
"Pffff… W-wait… what?" I was in near tears as I couldn't stop laughing. Heading over to Tsunade I looked at the scroll… and promptly fell back into a laugh that sounded like the Joker with the frequency of a hyena.
The scroll was completely blank, except for one single line that said, "It's Deidara."
My fucking sides hurt.
Itachi quickly went to me and slammed his hand onto my back to get me to stop laughing and to start breathing again, I think I was turning purple from the lack of oxygen. The civilian council were all leaning away from me in fear, while the shinobi council were watching this like it was your typical Sunday cartoon.
Nobody moved until Hiashi became the first brave soul to approach us and pat Itachi on the shoulder, "Welcome back to Konoha, Itachi." With that, he left. I had to smile, Hiashi knew I was bringing Itachi back, so it's not a surprise that he would accept this so quickly.
Despite the sudden protest from the civilians, the clan heads would either pat Itachi on the shoulder then leave, or ruffle my hair. Whatever amused them the most, sadly this resulted in my hair getting messed up.
I forgot the civilian council gets almost no respect despite representing the larger population… Oh well, Konoha is militaristic and they are full of whiny asshole.
Tsunade scares off the rest of the council, including the elders, before looking at us, "Deidara, is he the one you wanted me to treat?"
I nod politely after catching my breath, "Yes, Tsunade-sama, un."
Her face showered with uncertainty. But after observing Itachi, who was still kneeling beside me, she morphed into a more professional mode, "Follow me." With that she turned on her heel and headed back to the hospital.
Tsunade led us to a room and allowed Itachi in, but stopped me, "Wait here. I need to speak with the Uchiha in private." The door was then closed on my face. This room was muffled and I could only feel their footsteps.
I decided it was best not to protest, and instead I leaned against the wall with my head bowed. Quietly praying that things will be okay, and that Itachi will no longer be sick.
If the Universe could do one good thing in its existence, it's making sure Itachi lived… he deserved that at least.
The civilian council is fun to write, it's like Hidan, I can annoy the shit out of them with no consequences. Also, even in death Hiruzen is a troll. XD So yeah, Deidara will not be using the rasengan again, it was a one time thing to win the bet against Tsunade, but it got Kimi healed, and soon Itachi as well! Yay!
That specific 2-lined timeskip will only be used if I just want a sudden change in scenery or if I am unable to think of a proper flow of time. They will rarely appear, but will always make some kind of reference.
Okay, so for the yin and yang stuff, my beta and I used information from both the actual belief surrounding the symbol, and the information that the Naruto universe uses. I kept it a simple as possible, so please do not be super nitpicky about technicalities, it isn't even the real reason why Dei survived. I just wrote out this bit because Dei wanted some form of factual reason (for this world at least) as to why he is alive.
* At this point in the series, the only known rasengan users are Jiraiya and Minato. Tsunade does not know about Kakashi being able to use the jutsu yet.
* I am using fan theories for both Kimimaro and Itachi's illnesses as neither have confirmed diseases. I added the whole mutated bit because tuberculosis is airborne, but no one has gotten sick from Kimimaro. So this is a mutated version that is like a parasite, it only has one host. Itachi has something completely different. Not going to say what until next chapter.
Next chapter is gonna be a real treat! Well, I think it will be a treat. For those who know what will happen next shhhhhhhhh, no spoilers. (You know who you are :P) I am already a third done as I had a muse struck me in October and so I wrote it out. It just needs to be updated and I need to add in a bunch of crap.
As always, reviews are loved and I will see you guys later this week with… a rather sweet chapter.
Bye!