A/N: This chapter returns to Bella's PoV. Maybe the next one will have some more of Mark's.
Though I was frozen with fear as Victoria ran with me, I was also unnaturally calm. The calm allowed me to think about my situation.
This was not good by any means, but perhaps it was best. If Victoria killed me, which she was obviously planning on doing, then the Volturi wouldn't have an issue with me knowing too much because I'd already be dead. They wouldn't look any farther once they knew I was dead, and then Mark wouldn't get in trouble too. The Cullens could stop worrying about me, Mark could move on and marry someone who he actually loves, I wouldn't feel the pain of wanting to be with Edward for eternity and not being able to, and the world would move on.
Charlie and Renee would be upset, undoubtedly, and so would Mark and the Cullens, and maybe some of my other friends, but they would get over it. They would forget about me. Well, maybe not the Cullens, but the rest would. Human minds are like sieves, as Edward once told me, and time would heal their pain.
And since Victoria had me, I knew that she wouldn't be after Charlie in the woods. That gave me much relief.
With these thoughts in my mind, I relaxed. Victoria said that it would be a slow and painful death, with much torture ahead of time, but she would kill me eventually, and I would be ready.
I was never afraid of death.
"Why are you smiling?" Victoria demanded, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"I'm just happy this is how and when my life is going to end," I explained truthfully with a shrug, looking up at her red eyes. She was so shocked that she stopped running.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "You're happy? Are you suicidal?"
"Yes," I answered, truthfully again. "I've been trying to take my life for the past few years, but Alice always stopped me. I haven't tried recently because I've been with Mark, and he deserved more, but I have tried several times before."
Victoria started running again before resuming her interrogation. "So I'm actually doing you a favor by killing you?"
"I didn't look at it that way at first, but I suppose you could say that."
"Perhaps once I'm through with what I have planned you won't think so," she said, but it sounded like she was trying to reassure herself.
"Perhaps," I agreed, and then kept silent. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep for the rest of the run.
I woke at least a couple of hours later when Victoria slowed down again. She flung me on her back and opened the door to a house that I didn't recognize. The sun was beginning to come up, and I almost laughed when I realized that it was Christmas morning.
"At least I'll get to be with Jesus on his birthday," I murmured quietly, but Victoria still heard me.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"If you kill me today, I'll be able to be with Jesus on the day that we celebrate his birthday," I explained. "If you don't, then forget I said anything."
"You really aren't afraid to die, are you?" she asked.
"No, I'm really not," I answered. "I never really have been. I mean, I asked Edward to change me, and that's dying. It's just the next part of life's adventure."
"Why would you want changed?" she scoffed. "Do you want to take the lives of people, or in the case of the Cullens, animals?"
"I eat meat all the time," I argued. "How is that any different?"
"You would go through a lot more animals as a vampire than you do as a human," Victoria said as she arrived at the bottom of the stairs that led to the basement. She set me down and shoved me into a little room and bolted the door behind us.
"I wanted to be with Edward for eternity," I said. "I still do, but I can't because of the treaty with the La Push werewolves."
"I wanted to be with James for eternity, too," Victoria said, her eyes turning black. This was the part where the torture began.
"I'm sorry about that," I said sincerely. "I wish that hadn't happened. But I didn't have anything to do with how that ended. I was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. If I hadn't been in that clearing, I know things would have turned out differently, but that wasn't my fault."
"Then who's fault was it?" Victoria spat. "Are you going to say it was James' fault?"
"No," I said. "It wasn't anyone's fault. What happened, happened. I was there. James wanted to kill me. Edward protected me, giving James a challenge. I came up with the plan to hide in Phoenix. You helped James figure out how to get me. Edward was trying to protect me. We all made mistakes. We're all to blame."
"Will dear Edward miss you once you're gone?" Victoria asked, attempting to hide the hope it contained. She started to circle me.
"He probably will," I answered. "But I'm married to someone else now. Everyone will get over my death. Edward may try to kill himself again, but I hope his family stops him."
"Why did he try to kill himself before?" Victoria asked menacingly. "Was he tried of the stupid human and he was looking for a way out of his pathetic life?"
"He thought I was dead," I answered, watching her with my eyes, but not moving otherwise.
"So he went to kill himself?" she sneered. "He doesn't even know what true love is. He doesn't know what it's like to expect to have someone for eternity, and then have that ripped away from you by a stupid coven all bent on protecting a single, stupid human girl!" Victoria picked up a metal chair and flung it at me, but in her rage she couldn't aim well, and it flew inches over my head.
"I think I know, at least a little, how you feel," I said meekly.
"NO! You have no idea!" she snarled. "You have no idea how horrible it is to have a mate for eternity and then lose him because of some adolescent vampire bent on saving a stupid human! You have no idea how horrible it is to want to die because your mate is gone, but not having anyone who's willing to help you kill yourself because no matter how hard you try, you can't do it on your own! You won't ever understand, so don't try to tell me that you do!" Her yells were echoing around the room, and they were so loud that I couldn't help having to cover my ears. "You don't understand the helpless, dead feeling that comes with losing your entire life in the blink of an eye! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!" She flew at me in a rage then, and slapped me. She must have been holding back, though, because it only left a red and stinging mark on my cheek.
"I'm sorry!" I cried. "But I think I know how you feel better than you may think! I lose Edward when he left me so I could live a normal human life, and for the longest time I just walked around in a haze, lifeless and unresponsive. No one talked to me because I was empty and didn't respond. It was like I had died to everyone else. But to me, the pain was unbearable. I screamed in my sleep, had nightmares, and I couldn't think about anything for the fear that it would remind me of him. I didn't think he was coming back, ever, and so I did lose my life. I lost my entire future as a vampire with the Cullens. So yes, I think I understand how you felt a little better than you may think!" By that tiem I was yelling back, and the tears were rolling freely down my cheeks.
"I wanted to die," Victoria sobbed tearlessly. "But no one would help me, and I couldn't do it myself. I wanted to die and never feel again!"
She ran into the corner and sat down, curling into a ball and rocking back and forth as she sobbed. I wanted to go comfort her at that time. She looked so vulnerable and broken. So I took a tentative step towards her, and then another, and another, until at last I was next to her. I knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't flinch away, so I sat on my knees and leaned forward to wrap my arms around her. At first she stiffened, but then in a movement too fast for me to see, she threw her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder.
"I loved James so much," she sobbed. "I loved him more than life itself. But I lost him, and I didn't know what to do. So I decided to take revenge on you. I'm so sorry."
"Shh, it's okay," I murmured. "I forgive you. I forgive you because I understand your pain. I understand what you've gone through. Can you forgive me for ruining your life?"
"Yes," she sobbed, and tightened her grip around me.
That was how the Cullens and the werewolves found us an hour later. Victoria was still sobbing tearlessly into my shoulder, and I was still sitting there, rubbing her back and stroking her bright red hair.
The Cullens burst in the door, breaking it down in their haste, and came running in, surrounding Victoria and I in the corner. Shock registered on all of their faces when they saw what we were doing.
Victoria looked up when the werewolves entered in human form. She gave our extremely large audience a somber look and announced, "Please, kill me now. I don't deserve to live."
Edward started forward, but a glare from me stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Don't," I ordered, as close to a snarl as I would get being a human. "Don't you dare lay a hand on her, any of you." I glared at all the vampires and werewolves alike, and they all looked at me like I was insane.
"Bella, do you realize what she has done?" Edward asked incredulously.
"The exact same thing you would have done in her place," I retorted. "She and I have a lot in common, believe it or not. And you have just as much in common with her as I do."
"Would you care to explain that?" Carlisle asked softly.
"Put yourself in her shoes," I ordered. "She lost her mate that she was planning on spending Eternity with because a coven was protecting a single human girl. Wouldn't you be mad and want revenge in her place?"
"Let them kill me," Victoria said. She pulled her arms away from me and stood up. "I have no will left to live any longer. They would be doing me a favor by killing me now." She gave me a sad smile and offered me her hand to help me up.
"But you don't deserve to die," I argued. "You can start over."
"I don't want to," she said. "Not without James."
"Would you like to live with our family?" Carlisle asked suddenly. I gave him a grateful smile.
"WHAT?!" Every other person in the room besides Victoria and I exclaimed.
"Would I… what?" Victoria asked, confused.
"Would you like to become a part of our coven?" Carlisle asked. "I think Bella has attached herself to you, and I doubt she'll let go any time soon. So would you like to come live with us? We would require that you change your hunting habits, but if you wish to live with us, you can. We will help you."
"Carlisle," Edward started, "I don't thi-"
"I think it's a wonderful idea," I snapped. "And Mr. Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, if you don't, then you can just leave again for all I care. I've lived without you for this long; I can go back to doing it. Victoria doesn't deserve to die."
"Bells, have you gone insane?" Jacob asked.
"No," I told him firmly. "I've just spent the last hour and a half trying to learn to understand Victoria, and as a result, I count her as one of my friends now. And if any of you kill her, I will make your lives miserable."
"Let's take this back to our house," Carlisle suggested. "I believe we have Mark and Angela locked in our basement."
"And Charlie will be home soon," Alice piped up. "The window to Bella's room needs fixed before he gets home."
"And it's Christmas Day," I added with a laugh. "Merry Christmas, everyone!"
A/N: Okay, please tell me what you think. Was that good or bad?