Chapter 24

Daniel was so busy during the next three weeks that he hardly had time to think about his odd "session" with someone posing as Dr. Mackenzie. Since the man hadn't reappeared and nothing had happened, General Hammond advised him to keep his eyes and ears open and to maintain contact with others on the base.

That was easy to do: he was so busy with half a million things that needed doing that he never even left the base. For him, the base was a familiar place with amenities he'd become used to (like the commissary—it was so nice not to have to cook and wash dishes!), so it was no hardship to stay there. He got a meal when he was hungry, watched TV or read in his quarters when he needed to relax, exercised in the gym when he needed to move, and crashed on the bed in his quarters when he was tired.

Part of the work he was doing at the time was arranging for his fellow kidnapees to be reunited with their families and friends. The big reunion was set for the end of the current week and was going to be held at a hotel in town over the course of three days. That way, there would be enough accommodation for the families and it would give the kidnapees a chance to ease back into being with their loved ones. An added plus (and the most important one, security-wise) was the fact that the families would not have to go through all the security clearance. A civilian liaison system had been set up as well, and there would be access to counselors with the correct security clearance for each person. After such an experience, all of them would need counseling.

Dr. Mackenzie had had two sessions with Daniel so far, and both men were very frustrated with the other. Daniel kept insisting he was fine and did not need psych sessions while Mackenzie kept insisting that he was repressing his real feelings and trying to fool himself into thinking that he was fine. After a week of almost-constant animosity between the two, General Hammond asked Dr. Frasier to authorize a halt on Daniel's psych sessions. With misgivings, she agreed, but Daniel was under strict orders to talk to someone he trusted if he felt it was needed.

The first day of the big reunion came, and Daniel was there with the rest of his fellow kidnappees to meet their families. Most of them were so happy and anxious that they were practically bouncing off the walls of the large conference room, and Daniel could tell Jack was starting to lose his patience with the pacing, the fretting, and the sudden attacks of "Oh my God! I can't do this!"

"Whose bright idea was it to serve them coffee?" Jack asked Daniel.

"Um, there's always coffee," Daniel told him, deeply thankful for the presence of that elixir of the gods.

"We could've served 'em decaf," Jack muttered. "I don't think I've seen so many people all freaking out like this at once."

"I'm sure you have, you just can't think of any specific instances," Daniel joked.

Jack said nothing and took a sip of coffee. His cell phone went off, and pulled it out to listen to their recon team report that the first of their guests had arrived. "Okay, Carl's family's here."

Daniel glanced to where Carl was sitting in a chair, one leg bouncing with nerves. "I'll tell him."

"Be careful. He might be so excited that he'll throttle you."

"Ha, ha, ha."

Carl didn't throttle him. Instead, he turned white and his grip on his chair turned into a death grip. "They're here?"

"They're parking outside right now."

If it were possible, Carl turned even whiter. "What will I do? What on earth will I say? I don't even remember them!"

"Well, my memory was erased, too, but it all came back once I saw the people I'd been forced to forget," Daniel told him, hoping that would happen for Carl. "That's what might happen for you."

"I hope so," Carl said fervently. "I don't think I could stand not remembering them. According to my file, I've been gone four years."

Daniel was about to say something when the doors opened and Carl's family was ushered in. There were three girls, an older boy, a woman, two older men, and one older woman. According to his file, the family were his daughters, his son, his wife, his father and his father-in-law, and his mother. Carl flew across the room to hug his wife, the color coming back to his face and a joyful expression overcoming it. There was a great deal of kissing (his wife) and hugging (everyone else) while Carl kept saying, "Oh, you're beautiful! You're all beautiful!" Then, he ran back across the room to hug Daniel, practically shouting, "You were right! I remembered them as soon as I saw them! You were right!"

"That's great," Daniel said as Carl released him and shot back across the room to his family for more hugs. He rubbed bruises ribs and stood back to watch the scene.

Over the next hour more families arrived and each arrival was a repeat of Carl's first meeting with his family. The other kidnapees congratulated the recently reunited individuals and admired children and spouses. Daniel was being called for left and right to meet people, shake hands, and admire kids. Jack was in his element because a lot of those kids were very impressed with a real Air Force colonel.

"'Scuse me a second, kids," Jack said, extracting himself from his adoring little crowd. "Daniel, I just got the call--Carlisle's family is here."

Daniel thanked him and then went to tell Carlisle while Sam and Teal'c arrived to help marshal the different groups.

"Carlisle?"

Carlisle looked up from the floor, pale and silent.

"Your family's just arrived."

Carlisle swayed, Jack spotted him, yelped "Watch it!" and ran across the room to catch him before Daniel could even move. "Easy!" Jack said. "You'll be okay! You don't want your kids to come in and see their unconscious dad on the floor, would you?"

"S-sorry!" Carlisle blurted. "I just got dizzy for a second."

"It's all right," Daniel said while Jack pulled a chair up for Carlisle. "Actually, I'm kind of surprised that we haven't had more of this."

The doors opened and a second later Carlisle took flight, landing right in front of a very pretty woman accompanied by her kids. A second later and they were hugging one another.

"Ah, lucky guy," Jack said, watching.

"Yep," Daniel agreed, watching Kristen hug her father. "He is."

The last family arrived not long after that, and the rest of the day flew by. The kidnapees and their families got to know one another again, Jack briefed the families on the importance of keeping silent about the whole thing, awful though it was, due to national security. The families were asked to remain for the rest of the weekend so they could be introduced to their civilian consultants and briefed on what they could expect psych-wise from their newly-returned family members. Jack was more than happy to turn over that part of the job to Dr. Mackenzie and Janet. He had enough on his plate handling the civilian handlers.

Daniel flopped into bed that night and did not move until the next morning. The next two days were more of the same, in addition to a huge pool party on Saturday night in the hotel pool. Although none of the SG-1 members planned to swim, they ended up swimming anyway when the kids insisted.

"Glad I insisted you guys put on your swimsuits under your clothes," Sam said as they joined the kids in a water war. There was so much splashing going on that there seemed to be more water in the air than in the pool.

"Okay, it was a good idea," Jack said, grabbing a water noodle with which to defend himself. "Careful! I've got a noodle, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Daniel laughed, splashed Jack, and then swam for his life as Jack said "Of course you know, Danny, that this means war!"

On Sunday people were able to check out and head to their homes, promising one another that they would keep in touch and write. Daniel said goodbye and good luck to each of his fellow kidnapees before spending a few uncomfortable minutes with Sylvia.

"They're just like I remember them," Sylvia said quietly as Daniel walked her toward her family's car. "Neither of them liked to be hugged, and they still don't like it. They're very...proper. And cold. And Rick..." she trailed off and shook her head. "He's supposed to be my fiance, but I don't know what I was thinking. He's just like them, Daniel. I don't think I'll stay with them for very long."

"You'll have to do what's best for you," Daniel said. "There are always places out there that need researchers, so you'll never be without work. Maybe...maybe you need to start over someplace new to find yourself."

She shrugged. "I suppose. Anyway, thank you. You know, for helping me, even after I did some pretty awful things to you."

"I should apologize," Daniel contradicted. "I was pretty nasty sometimes."

"It wasn't your fault; it was the situation," she corrected, giving him a hug. "Take care of yourself. Would you mind if I wrote to you?"

Daniel gave a little smile. "Not at all. Would you mind if I wrote back?"

She smiled. "Not at all."

--

"So, Danny, want a beer?" Jack asked as they drove across town that evening. The day had been a trying one and Jack had offered Daniel a ride.

"I'd like that, but we have work in the morning," Daniel reminded him.

"Actually, we don't," Jack said, smiling. "General Hammond called me and said all four of us had the week off."

"Why?" Daniel asked, surprised. "What will I do with myself for a week?"

"Anything you want!" Jack said, fighting off a chuckle. "So, beer?"

Daniel nodded. "Sounds good."

Fifteen minutes later and they were in Jack's den, drinking beer and talking.

"I always knew Carlisle would pass out when he saw his family," Jack said, sprawling in the recliner.

"I can't blame him for it," Daniel said after taking a big swallow of beer and savoring the taste. "They're pretty incredible. I'm envious. Who wouldn't be?"

"Well, I'm not," Jack said. "I've got my best friend back. I think I've got the better part of the deal."

"Well, so does Carlisle."

Jack considered this. "True." He noticed Daniel had finished his beer, so he opened another one and handed it to him. "Here you go. Have another."

"I'll get drunk," Daniel protested.

"Nah," Jack assured him. "I've been building up your tolerance to alcohol, didn't you realize? You can have up to five before you get drunk. Four'll have you slightly tipsy, but you should be all right with just two or three."

"If you say so," Daniel said, taking a swallow.

Two beers later Jack decided to try getting Daniel to talk to him. "What do you think the Ashah are up to now?"

"I don't care," Daniel said, leaning back in his chair. "I really don't. I'm sick of them."

"I guess it's pretty easy to be sick of them," Jack said. "With all the stuff they pulled."

"Zactly!" Daniel said, his tongue not quite able to handle 'x'. "All the stuff they pulled! They said they cared about us, a great future was ahead for us, but only if we followed their rules and let them do what they wanted to us. We weren't people to them, we were just their favorite breed! We weren't people, we were pets who could talk! They even petted us!"

"Petted you?" Jack said, pretending to be shocked. "Heaven forbid!"

"No, I'm ser'ous," Daniel assured him. "All the stuff they did...it was petting, really. They never take no for an answer! I mean, do you ask a dog's permission before you pet one? We were pets and they couldn't wait for the first litter of kids to be born! You wouldn't believe how often they threw us at one another! And they drugged us to get us more receptive to what they wanted! Can you believe that?"

"Unbelievable!" Jack agreed. "Ridiculous!"

"And they never let me alone, either! They were always in my head, always talking to me, they could even force my body to do things that I didn't want to do! I mean, feeling that way once was enough; I didn't need a second time!"

"Second time?"

"Yeah, I've felt that way before," Daniel said, finishing off his present beer. "Can I have another? These are pretty good."

Jack handed him another beer.

"Sometimes being there felt good," Daniel admitted after taking a swig. "Must've been that dopamine chemical. Whenever they touched me, I felt good. Whenever I was near them, I felt good. Other than that, I was tired and screaming at myself in my head to try to get away. It was like...well, it was awful. I couldn't make them stop and I couldn't control how I felt."

Jack had been waiting for this. "What was the worst part?"

Daniel took another swallow and glared at the floor. "How I felt, I guess. I ought to be able to control how I feel, right? Well, whenever they were around, I couldn't control my feelings. They just had to be near me and I'd start to feel good. I guess that was the point. They wanted me to like them. I should have been able to ignore them."

"You sound like you think it was all your fault," Jack said.

"Well, I think it might be," Daniel said. "You know, I should have been able to ignore the feelings they cause with their stupid dopamine compound. I should have known they'd try to drug us to get us to do what they wanted. I should have..." He stopped and appeared to be thinking furiously for a moment. "I couldn't. I couldn't fight. I tried all the time, but nothing I did worked. Why?"

"I have a theory about that," Jack said, taking the empty bottle from Daniel's limp fingers. "Wanna hear it?"

Daniel nodded, hoping for the reassurance that Jack was about to give him.

"I think that none of the stuff you tried worked because it couldn't work against them. You've been trained to resist brainwashing and you held out against Pater just fine, but these Ashah were people who couldn't just play with your head, they could get inside and make you think or do or feel what they wanted. Despite the incredible things you accomplish every day, you're not superhuman, Daniel. No human could fight against beings that can break into your mind and mess with your blood chemistry the way we open a file and use a computer. You never asked them to have Pater adopt you, you never asked them to take you to Ashah, and you never asked them to drug you and force you to do things. If there's anyone to blame in this mess, it's not you. They're the bad guys in this, Daniel, not you. You did the best you could in the circumstances you found yourself. That's commendable in anyone, but in your case, where you'd been re-kidnapped and taken to another planet, for crying out loud, well, that's remarkable! The government ought to give you a generous pension and let you retire in glory to the tropical island paradise of your choice."

Daniel laughed. "I'd be bored stupid within a day on an island," he said.

"Well, the government can always pack up the Library of Congress for you, how's that?"

Daniel laughed again, and in the next moment he started sobbing. Jack set aside the beer he was holding and guided Daniel over to the couch, letting the guy cry on his shoulder. "It'll be okay, Daniel. You go ahead and let all that out."

Daniel didn't need to be told twice. He held onto Jack and sobbed, stopping only long enough to take a breath and to accept the tissues that Jack handed him. While he cried, he told Jack everything about his time on Ashah, even the parts he'd sworn never to tell anyone. By the time he was done his head hurt, his nose was stuffed up, and his eyes were red, but he felt more like himself than he had in ages. That was strange since he could swear the room was beginning to slowly rotate around him.

"A little too much beer," Jack said as Daniel started to tilt sideways. "Come on, Danny. Time for bed."

"I want another beer," Daniel said as Jack helped him to his feet. "Where is it? The kitchen?"

"They're upstairs, Daniel."

"Oh. Okay."

Somehow, Jack managed to maneuver him upstairs and into the guest bedroom. With a great deal of timing and footwork, Jack managed to get him to sprawl across the bed rather than the floor. A master danseur couldn't have done better. Jack pulled off Daniel's shoes, socks, and shirt before pulling the covers over him, with Daniel all the while asking where his beer was. Jack sighed and pushed a pillow into his friend's arms. "Here, hold this while I get you your beer."

Daniel took it. "Thanks, Jack."

Jack headed toward the door as if he were really intending to get a beer, but by the time he reached the door he heard Daniel's breathing deepen. He turned to check, but he could tell that Daniel was already asleep and dead to the world. He smiled, turned out the light, and left, heading to lock up the house, switch out the lights, and get to bed himself. Daniel would have a headache in the morning, but he would feel better for getting everything off his chest. Once he was awake and on the outside of a lot of coffee and some good breakfast, he would be ready to talk some more and hopefully begin coming to terms with everything. It was Jack's humble opinion (okay, not so humble) that Mackenzie had nothing on him and a couple beers for getting Daniel to open up.