PLEASE READ FIRST!
This work does NOT belong to me, but I think it deserves a wider audience than it had up to now. Since the author wishes to stay anonymous she has given permission to publish it somewhere else other than on livejournal as she has no intention to. I will leave a link on livejournal to this post for the author, so make sure to review.
Original can be found here:
story: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""page""=""25""#""comments" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
chapter: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""thread""=""24381255#t24381255" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
WARNING this work contains mental und physical non-con, massive internal conflict, PTSD. You have been warned!
Chapter Twenty-Five
Thirty three days to go. Loki read to Býleistr, drank Palif, practised his ice summoning and shaping until he could form rough daggers, and slept.
Thirty two days to go. Loki wanted to go for a walk. Laufey pointed out it was still cold enough to make him shiver after a few minutes and no, no he couldn't.
Thirty days to go. Loki began talking to Laufey again.
Twenty nine days to go. Loki wound up yelling at Vindsval for breathing too loudly and letting the guards attack his mother. Laufey dragged him off to the royal chambers to calm down. Vindsval shot him filthy looks for hours after he returned.
Twenty eight days to go. The food was getting monotonous as the different harvests ran out. Loki shared his Asgard food with the huddle. Vindsval got slightly less than the others, just enough to notice but not enough to complain about. He shot Loki a dirty look instead which earned him a private chat from Laufey about not antagonising Loki when he was obviously restless and snappy.
With twenty seven days to go Loki came down from his peak to find himself held against Laufey as usual.
No, not as usual, he felt...there was...
"You can pull out of me now." Loki said.
Laufey was on his knees, holding Loki upright against him.
"No I can't." Laufey said calmly.
Loki was about to ask why when he realised his legs were locked tightly around Laufey's body.
"Oh." He released them hurriedly.
Laufey lay him down gently and pulled slowly out of him.
Loki whimpered as the feeling of Laufey's cock sliding out of his body sent sparks of pleasure running through him right to the tips of his fingers.
Laufey stopped and looked down at him.
"Did you *like* that?" He asked teasingly.
"No." Loki lied quickly.
Laufey looked sceptical and pulled out further.
Loki tried to keep his expression calm but failed miserably.
"Ahh!" He choked out before clamping his mouth shut.
"You are so enjoying this." Laufey said, pulling out completely.
Loki shook his head but he'd already given himself away.
"Instinct." he said stubbornly.
"Instinct or no your reaction has produced a result." Laufey said dryly.
The base of his cock was swelling slightly.
Loki gave him a look.
"That soon?" He said. "You're sex crazed."
"You have that effect on people." Laufey replied leaning back calmly.
Loki looked down at it again. Most of the time he looked away to try and block out what was happening. Now he sat up and looked at it curiously.
"It really is about double the length." He said. "And about three times as wide."
He reached forward and gently touched the tip. It was slightly narrowed compared to the rest of it.
"Why does it have to be so long?" He asked. "You didn't have any trouble with me."
"Evolution, probably." Laufey said. "The longer it is the less distance the seed has to travel to reach the womb."
"That makes sense." Loki said reluctantly.
He moved on from the cock and looked further down to inspect Laufey's balls.
They were heavy looking things sitting against his thighs. They looked slightly raison-like at the moment, having just emptied their seed. Loki looked up instead and traced his fingers over the family lines that covered Laufey's body. His own echoed them.
"Why do my lines match yours? I'm from a different family."
He looked up sharply.
"Aren't I?"
Laufey chuckled.
"Yes, you are from a different family." He said. "You were born not long after the Darkening and your parents gave you to me for our betrothal ceremony. My family lines were placed on you as a part of that. They were supposed to stay in the castle and raise you but Odin's army invaded and they died in the final battle."
Loki traced the lines upward and over Laufey's stomach and chest.
"When's my birthday?" He asked quietly, as though it had just occurred to him.
"Thirty seven days from now." Laufey said.
Loki looked up.
"You already asked the record keepers didn't you?" He asked.
"Why pass up the chance to throw a party?" Laufey answered with a smile.
He shifted slightly in place and Loki realised with a start that his curious touches had done nothing to calm the situation. The exact opposite in fact. Laufey was doing a wonderful job of holding still and letting him explore.
"Um, sorry." Loki said, dropping his hands.
Laufay shifted again.
"It's fine." He lied.
Loki looked at Laufey's too calm expression guiltily. He'd actually had a hand in causing this one. Dammit.
He pulled a face as he regarded Laufey's swelling cock. Dammit dammit dammit. Still, it wasn't like it was going to make a difference given what they'd just done not fifteen minutes ago.
"I'll take care of it." Laufey said with a slightly strained voice.
Loki sighed in frustration.
"I still don't want to." He said, leaning forwards and wrapping his hand around Laufey's cock...
(edited, for full scene visit link above)
... Laufey pulled out of him with a soft moan, pulled a fur over them and held Loki close as they drifted off to sleep.
Loki woke with an ache on the back of his neck and a feeling he'd done something terrible. His eyes widened as the memory came back.
No.
No no no no no no.
He hadn't.
He raised his head and looked at Laufey's marked chest.
He had.
Oh shit.
Oh no. No. No.
Loki backed away from Laufey's sleeping form in horror.
He hadn't meant to do that! He didn't want this! No!
Laufey tricked him! He had to have! He put spell on him! Or put something in his Palif. Loki didn't, he wouldn't. He did. He really did and there was no one to blame but himself.
Loki had his back against the fur covered wall and was staring at the sleeping Laufey with terrified eyes.
He grabbed his winter clothes and pulled them on with shaking hands.
No. He wouldn't accept it. No. Not happening. He didn't. It was a mistake, a lapse. It was the Darkening. It was the cold and the ice.
Loki finished dressing and crawled desperately from the cave.
He made it around the corner to find the huddle was looking at him.
The knowing look on Thrym's face and the gentler, more understanding one on Goupr's made him freeze in horror.
They'd all heard him.
No.
Loki vanished where he stood.
"Loki!" Goupr called out as Thrym rose and ran to the spot where he'd been standing.
Loki ran back towards the cave. No more waiting, no more watching, no more playing along. NO!
He threw a ball of fire directly at the entrance to the cave. The whole thing collapsed in an explosion of ice and heat.
"I hate you!" Loki screamed and kept running.
Maybe he'd get lucky and the falling cave would crush Laufey to death. It wasn't a direct blow so the spell shouldn't activate. He ran through the tunnels in a wild dash, just desperate to get *away*.
He wound up in one of the store rooms, which was starting to look quite depleted.
He sat behind a pile of sacks and allowed himself to become visible again. He was crying with the shame of it. He'd given in. He'd let Laufey have that last piece of him, that part he'd been holding on to, trying to preserve.
'Whore.' He thought as he started to shiver. 'Filthy little Jotun whore, give yourself to anyone with a cock, you loved it you dirty, filthy creature. Odinson? Ha! You're not worthy, you're just an animal, mindlessly rutting because he called you a queen. Filthy! Whore! No, not whore. The whores of Asgard have *taste* they'd never lie with a filthy Jotun. You are disgusting, nothing but an animal. You've soiled yourself in his filth. How long did you last? How long?! Ha! You're pathetic, you're scum. Nasty, filthy little Jotun runt, desperately rutting with the biggest man you can find. You liked it, you *liked* it! You vulgar, filthy little thing! You don't deserve to be an Odinson, you don't deserve to be an Asgard, you should just let the cold take you.'
Loki realised with a start that he was probably due for his draught. He was shaking violently from the cold in his Jotun form, even in his winter clothes. If the draught wore off he'd burn to death in minutes.
'Good. You deserve it.' He thought and stayed put.
He waited as his body shivered and the time ticked by. Soon, soon he'd burn, soon he'd die like the filthy animal he was. He deserved nothing less.
There was a noise from the other side of the sacks. Loki frowned and drew himself inwards. He didn't want to be found. He tensed, ready to throw a fire spell at the first Jotun head he saw. Damn them all.
Loki threw the fire at the first flash of blue. Kwall managed to deflect it and crawled around to where Loki sat.
"Your Majesty, you must drink your draught." He said.
He had the bottle and a cup in his hands.
"No." Loki said stubbornly. "Go away or I'll kill you."
"If you don't drink you will die." Kwall insisted.
"That's the plan." Loki said with manic cheerfulness.
Kwall's eyes narrowed. He leaned forward and lowered his voice.
"You listen to me, Loki Odinson, Your father did not send me all the way out here to watch you burn to death from the cold. He did not brew this draught so that you could refuse it! You will drink it right now, that is an order! *His* order."
Loki stared at Kwall in astonishment.
"You? You're the spy?"
"One day I'll teach you how to pull a man's memories from his head and lay them over your own." Kwall said. "But first you will drink."
"No." Loki said. "I don't deserve to, I…I disgraced the name of Odinson." He dropped his head in sadness and guilt.
Kwall leaned forwards and took him by the shoulders.
"You listen to me well, Loki. You do whatever you have to do to survive. *Whatever* you have to. The Allfather loves you and wants you home. He doesn't care if what you have to do, you are his son and he lives for the day he can hold you in his arms. You must survive this, and if that means that you do things you do not believe a son of Odin should do, then you do them. He understands. He wants you home. Now drink the damn draught!"
Kwall shoved the cup into Loki's hand.
Loki stared into Kwall's eyes for a long moment, then raised the cup to his lips and drank.
"I collapsed the cave onto Laufey. He might be dead." He said hopefully.
"He's not, trust me, you'd know." Kwall said. "You can't leave anyway until the sun's light is strong enough to warm the air outside. No more attempts on his life until you are sure you can get to the Bifrost."
Loki nodded. Kwall returned the nod and left him.
For the record, Loki gave in because he was tired, cold, a little bit bored, restless and angry. His situation wasn't changing, in fact he was just getting more stuck as the days went on. He feels trapped by the fact that without him Jotunheim is doomed, but by saving Jotunheim he will never go home again.
This was a bit of a 'fine, if I'm going to be stuck here I might as well enjoy it' followed by, 'oh crap I gave in, what will my family think of me?!'
Poor Loki has been going through a lot for almost half a year now. I hope you can forgive him.