Author's Note: Hello, and welcome to the ridiculously prolonged continuation to the "Butchery & Happiness" fanfiction that has been long neglected. I'm not going to clutter up this section of the fic to explain my absence, you'll have to take a look at my profile for more information on exactly why I wasn't around. In any case, if anyone actually reads this, I'm flattered you still care enough to finish this story after it being dead for so long. I haven't written awhile, and honestly my style has changed quite a bit, but nevertheless I hope you find some enjoyment in the conclusion of this tale. A little note about this though: I do not watch or read Naruto anymore. I don't remember much from the series, and quite frankly I don't have the patience to try to make this as accurate as possible. Just try to read it with an open mind and forgive me for any technical errors there may be. So, without any further delay, let's get this show on the road...

I felt as if all the air had been kicked out of my chest. I stared, baffled, as the green-clad warrior from the leaf jumped and landed with incomparable grace a few feet beside me. I took a awkward side-step away, watching him with large, round eyes. His landing was perfect, he stood with the dust clouding his feet in a practically textbook martial arts pose, a determined gleam in his eyes.

"Are you all right, Sadako-chan?" Gai asked, his voice a booming ray of confidence. "Has he hurt you?"

I didn't know how to respond right away. My mouth was dry and quite frankly I was at a loss for words. Kisame seemed to be in the same boat because he stood in silence, his fists still held his weapon and the scroll.

When I didn't reply right away, Gai cocked his head and flashed me a concerned glance. Instantly I felt some words bubble up and I sputtered stupidly, "No, no...no...uh...it's cool." I lifted a hand and pointed to Kisame. "He's got the scroll,"

I know that in the past I've been really good at pointing out the obvious, and this still hold true today. However, while Gai may be creepy, one thing I appreciate about him is the fact that he rarely makes me feel stupid. I think it's because he's rather oblivious of anything mildly uncomfortable.

His thick brows arched and his teeth shone in a blinding brilliance as he grinned at me. "Good work, Sadako-chan," while being praised is always a nice thing, I didn't particularly feel too keen on the situation in general, so I just nodded.

Kisame seemed annoyed. I could tell by the way his dead fish eyes narrowed and directed a glare at the new arrival.

"Excuse me, I believe you're interrupting." he said calmly, though there was an unmistakable tone of malice in his voice.

"This is an unfair fight," Gai said calmly, raising his arm in a dramatic motion. I could tell he was getting ready to attack. I frowned and felt my shoulders slump.

"Since when is one-on-one unfair?" Kisame snorted. I could see the sharpness of his teeth when he spoke. "Get lost, this is a private party."

I couldn't help but notice that this seemed...rather unusual for Kisame. He was acting angry. well, angrier than usual. Sure, he was snarky and violent and uppity normally, but there was something in the way he spoke that indicated another emotion I couldn't quite place.

Gai had been talking. He spouted off a string of dialog about honour and fighting an opponent obviously less skilled than you (thanks a lot, Gai,) and all that stuff. Kisame seemed less than amused, but it was Gai's next sentence that seemed to really piss him off. Gai turned and flashed his signature smile at me, lifting his hand in a thumbs up motion.

"It's all right, Sadako-chan, I'll protect you from him!"

I cocked my head. Um, all right. I couldn't help but feel slightly flattered. Even though Gai tended to be slightly...odd, he has some rather charismatic charms in the way he spoke. It was rather endearing.

"You should go get the others for back up, I can hold him off."

"Now just a minute!" Kisame roared. The sudden loudness in his voice caused me to physically jump. Kisame, obviously incredibly angry by now, lifted his weapon and held it outward. "You stay where you are, Shorty. This is between me and you, tell your bowlcut buddy to get lost."

I couldn't help but furrow my brows at that. What was causing Kisame to act so...well...childish? Maybe some of me rubbed off on him during our escapades when he captured me. And what's with this Shorty stuff again? I thought we had finally graduated beyond that nonsense. Though to be honest, it felt a little more in character for him to refer to me as that rather than Sadako...but, nonetheless, it was incredibly unromantic.

Not that he was a romantic dude to begin with. I lifted my hands and looked at him indignantly. Before I could say anything, however, Gai opened his big, dental-advertisement worthy mouth,

"I don't think so, your transgressions are against all of Konoha." he said. I was just pondering what the word transgressions meant when Kisame was upon us, sword readied.

I didn't see it coming. Though it was obvious he was aiming more towards Gai, my colleague grabbed me and yanked me out of harms way. We landing with acute precision a few feet backwards, Gai's arm on my shoulder. I felt dizzy from having been jerked away so quickly, so the scenery around me seemed blurry.

Kisame didn't give us any time to recover. Like lightning, he dashed forward. This time I managed to fall back on my own, Gai held his ground. Lifting his hands he caught the sword in clapping motion. I stared in awe. He was holding the weapon off of him with his bare hands...now that was impressive.

I could see he was struggling slightly by the way his wrists shook, but the grin he continued to wear could have fooled anyone. Kisame on the other hand seemed enraged still, until I saw a peculiar glint in his eyes.

Things happened rather suddenly. I heard Gai cry out sharply in pain, flinging the sword back towards its wielder and jumping back. Blood smeared his palms, and I saw that Kisame's sword had sprouted several sharp spines.

"Gai!" I called out, clumsily scrambling to my feet and dashing towards him.

What a dirty player! I when I was a few feet beside the injured Gai. He shrugged it off and insisted he was fine, it just had caught him off guard. This was going to escalate quickly. Ough. I frowned and examined Gai's palms from where I stood, feeling guilty this was my fault he got involved.

Kisame's weapon rose and he pointed it at Gai. "What's wrong, Jolly Green Giant? That was a rather dangerous way to defend yourself," he snickered, amused by all of this.

I frowned. What a sadist. I opened my mouth to say something, but Gai darted forward and advanced upon Kisame without warning. The two exchanged attacks, which I could barely make out. They both were insanely fast.

I stood there awkwardly, feeling ignored.

Well...

...hmm...

Not knowing what else to do, but not wanting to leave the two here by themselves, I crossed my arms and rubbed my shoulders.

In a few brief moments I could see the two exchanging blows. Gai wore his confident yet typical determined face throughout the fight, looking gallant even when Kisame had him on his toes. Kisame on the other hand, fluctuated between angry leers and sadistic grins. I couldn't tell if he was really enjoying this or if he was still pissed off that Gai had interrupted our fight.

Well, if you could even call it a fight. Watching a pro like Gai fight an expert like Kisame kind of reminded me of my own suckiness. Gai seemed to be holding his own quite well, adapting to all of Kisame's attacks and learning the way he moved.

It almost made me think perhaps Gai should be the one stealing the scroll in order to elope with Kisame.

I couldn't help but snort at that. Okay, in all seriousness though, he was holding up far better than I was. Kisame seemed to be struggling almost. He was holding his massive feminine product resembling sword with both of his hands now.

And that's when it occurred to me.

I glanced over and saw the scroll, leaning invitingly against a tree. Kisame must have put it down in all the action in order to fight better.

It called to me.

Hey, hey! Yeah, Sadako! Right over here! this is your chance, come and get me!

I glanced over at Kisame, who was doing a right good job of ignoring me. I felt a grin spread on my lips. I couldn't believe my luck!

Carefully I walked over to the scroll, looking over my shoulder once in awhile to see if Kisame saw me. He was completely engrossed in the fight. Figures.

In a way it was a little insulting. I guess he just thought Gai was more of a concern at the moment. And, yeah, well...that was kind of true, but still. A few minutes ago we were engaged in a pretty serious conversation, and now he was pretty focused on his new found vendetta against Gai. It was as if I wasn't even there any more.

I approached the scroll and turned away from the fight long enough to pick it up and lug it over my shoulder. Something about it didn't seem right though. It was almost as if I were cheating.

Hey, now! Kisame never said you couldn't enlist the help of others! Grab that shit and run for the hills!

Now, now, Sadako, you should stay and help Gai.

He seems to be getting along well enough on his own, though.

You can't just leave those two, they'll kill each other!

Maybe that's for the best. It'd solve a few of your problems for you.

I snorted and pushed my shoulder angels away, not wanting to be pestered by them anymore. Why is it I couldn't just this once make a decision and be sure about it? Why did I always have to second-guess myself? Man, I suck...

"Sadako-chan, turn around!"

As soon as the warning hit my ears, I felt myself being lifted violently off the ground and hoisted over the broadness of Kisame's shoulder. The scroll fell, hitting me in the face, and hung limply against Kisame's back along with me. I cried out in surprise.

"Ack!"

I wiggled and Kisame shifted drastically, causing me to fall over and hit the ground with my face. I cried out again and scrambled to get on my feet, but Kisame grabbed me rather forcefully by the neck of my vest and pushed me against his chest.

"W-what a..." I sputtered, but I instantly fell silent when I felt the edge of the spine covered sword against my throat. My back stiffened and I felt myself grow paler.

"If you move, I'm going to slit her throat." Kisame hissed, and there was a genuine venom in his voice. I grew stiff and clammy instantly.

Oh, my God...was he serious! He sure sounded convincing.

Gai, who was looking almost as startled as I was, stopped mid motion and narrowed his eyes.

Kisame had slung the scroll over his back securely. He was gripping me tight enough to cause rivets of pain flow through my arm.

Panicking, I jolted my head and tried to look Kisame in the eye.

"Let me go, you big blue butthe-!"

"Shut up!" he roared.

I shut up.

Maybe it was just because he wanted to keep appearances up with Gai, but Kisame gripped my arm harder and I felt his nails dig into my reddened skin. I squeaked in pain.

"That hurts...!" I whined, but my voice was low and I doubt he heard me. If he did, he didn't acknowledge it. There was a severity in the way Kisame spoke and held himself that made me feel genuinely afraid.

He laughed darkly and Gai grit his teeth. I could see a bead of sweat fall from his brow.

"Let her go, she can't defend herself! That's dirty play." Gai said.

If I wasn't in so much pain, I would have sighed in exasperation. Yes, I get it, I'm generally useless. I know you're trying to help, Gai, but why do you have to keep bringing that up?

"Get lost," Kisame hissed, not loosening his grip in the slightest. He leant over slightly, towering over me. It wasn't until now that I realized exactly how large this man was. He was massive, practically heads taller than myself. It all made me feel rather small and insignificant.

"Taking hostages when you're losing a fight?" Gai taunted. It seemed a little uncharacteristic of him to say it in the tone he did, but at the same time I could tell he was simply trying to get Kisame to let go of me.

Kisame narrowed his eyes and pressed the weapon closer against my skin. "I said leave," he said. I could feel his chest against the back of my head. He was hot and breathing slightly quickly from the fight. I could almost make out his heartbeat. "Or I'm going to skin her right here,"

"I'm not leaving Sadako-chan here with a brute like you," Gai retorted, the confidence in his voice seemed a little forced now.

Kisame cocked his head and grinned eerily. He laughed under his breath, which sounded incredibly creepy. Shifting in a fluid yet speedy motion, he gripped me harshly around the waist and turned my body so I was facing him. Well, facing his chest. I let out a weird protesting noise, feeling smothered, and tried to wriggle away.

What the hell was he doing? I couldn't see much more than the black of Kisame's cloak because of how tightly he held me. His fingers dug into my lower back and hip. Though the sword was no long pressed against my skin, I could feel that he was still holding it close to me.

"Let her go!" Gai blurted.

"No...no, I don't think I will." Kisame smirked. I felt his hand rub my back slightly, and my face turned beet red.

"Watch what you're touching!" I snapped, but the words seemed to turn into a muffled groaning noise against Kisame's chest.

Gai started to speak again, but he was interrupted by Kisame.

"Listen, I would love to stay and play with you, but like I said me and Shorty here have a previous engagement."

"Agreement, not engagement, you idiot!" I said to the fabric of Kisame's chest, I grabbed at the cloth and attempted to push away, needing air. Kisame held fast and I could do little more than shift to look over my shoulder.

Gai held his ground, though by the stance he took it looked as if he were contemplating an attack.

How did I get into this situation? What did I do to deserve this? I sighed audibly.

"I'm not leaving, I think I've already established that." Gai said sternly, a fire in his voice.

"We were having a rather intimate moment before you came and interrupted us," Kisame said coldly.

Oh, my God...did he really just say that? I felt like I could die right there. Yep, just crawl into a tiny little hole and die. I would decay and turn into dirt, and then I could live my next life giving nutrients to grass. At least then I would be useful.

"You-!" Gai didn't seem to know how to end his sentence, because it cut off right then. I was mortified, and I began praying Kisame would keep his mouth shut and not say anything else so ungodly embarassing.

He didn't.

He did something far worse.

I like attention. I really do. It's nice to be needed and looked at sometimes. There are, however, times and places in which to draw attention to yourself. And right now, I would have given anything to have been overlooked at that moment.

I didn't realize what had happened until Kisame bent over and pushed his lips-rather forcefully I might add-against mine. My eyes shot wide, my head spun. The situation didn't really sink in until it was over and Kisame was glancing back with a confident smirk at Gai, who had the most disturbed expression on his face. He chuckled in a creepy way and spoke,

"Heh, so if you don't mi-"

What happened next was too fast to comprehend. Gai darted forward and hit Kisame square on the nose. Kisame jerked backwards, skidding and balancing himself a few feet away. I fell forward and landed on the pads of my hands, my knees digging into the earth. Gai stood between me and Kisame.

"I can't believe someone, even as illicit as you, would prey on someone like Sadako-chan," Gai said, his voice stern. I felt my stomach drop. "You may be part of an organization, but you sir are no gentleman." You could tell my the tone in his voice that Gai used the term organization lightly.

Why the hell had Kisame picked a time like this to do something like that!

Kisame was on his feet, rubbing the blood from his lip silently. His glare was focused on Gai, but for a split second I could see he flashed his glance at me. I couldn't help but feel like he was directing hatred along with it. It made me feel queasy and nervous.

With no words, Kisame shook his head and lifted his hand, making a signal with his fingers. Gai tensed and prepared to defend himself, but there was no point.

In a puff of white smoke, Kisame vanished.

I felt cold.

When the smoked cleared from the air, Gai hesitated before relaxing and reaching over to help me up. I accepted it and got to my feet, brushing myself off.

"Are you all right?" Gai asked, his voice thick with concern.

No, I wasn't.

"Yeah..." I said weakly. "That was just bizarre."

Gai reached over and put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't slouch away, I just looked at the dirt. I feel like I have a lot in common with dirt. It just stays there, minding its own business, doing its job. People just tend to tramp all over it and move it and push it around. Dirt never bothered anyone, but people like to mess with dirt all the time. Poor thing.

"You shouldn't be going off by yourself, Sadako-chan..." Gai said gently. I looked up at him. I wanted to protest because frankly I was sick of being treated like I was useless...but, to be fair, he was really right. I was useless. Why did I even volunteer to go on this stupid mission? It was obvious I would have been better off staying home. I wasn't going to be any help getting the scroll back, and Kisame seemed more interested in playing around with my teammates than humouring my romantic fantasies.

Well, what did you expect, Sadako? He's a bloody criminal! Of course he's going to choose beating people up over going out to the movies with a girl.

I groaned audibly and shook my head. Quite suddenly, Gai pulled me into a rather awkward embrace. I tenses, but the hug only lasted a few moments before he pulled away and patted my hair.

"Let's report back and let the others know the Akatsuki are in the area. Stay close to me,"

I nodded dumbly and began to follow Gai as he headed back to camp. I couldn't help but feel the heavy unanswered questions in the air. Not just my own, but the ones Gai probably had as well. Luckily enough, he didn't seem talkative on the way back.

I really don't know how I would have responded to anything he asked, anyway.

-to be continued in the next installment-