Chapter Twenty-Five

Steph's arms were trembling from the weight of the gun in her hands. Her bright, vibrant eyes swimming when she finally opened them. Saw him kneeling in front of her without judgment. Her face folded. The burden was way heavier on her than he could ever remember it being for him. Tender hearted as she was, she couldn't take a life lightly. Shouldn't. She looked around for the man she'd killed, but Ranger was between them. Didn't want her to bear that if she didn't have to.

Something he could tell she was grateful for.

Ranger grasped the gun and pulled it from her stiff fingers. His warm hand still closed around her icy skin. She was white. Fight or flight stealing the blood from her extremities. "Building's cleared," he told her, hoping that would help her calm. "Paramedics are on their way in. How are you feeling?"

"I'm o-okay," she stammered. Breaking through his stone cold demeanor again like a little ray of sunshine. "Don't l-laugh a-at me. I h-hate ad-renaline. I c-can't stop sh-sh-shaking."

"It'll wear off soon enough," he said, failing to hold in the smile of pride. "You were incredible."

"Did...did you sh-shoot him or did I?"

"Would it make you feel better if I shot him?"

"Yes."

"Then it's your lucky day." Because he wasn't going to tell her what she didn't want to know. Willful ignorance was a blessing sometimes. At least where Steph was concerned.

Paramedics were rolling in a gurney for Morelli. He didn't look great. The cement under his head was stained bright red. Still bleeding. His face twitching like he was trying really hard to find consciousness. Knew Steph had been in danger and was fighting like hell to save her, like he had at the funeral home before they tried to bash his brains in.

Like he'd been doing for years.

Because he loved her more than his own life.

Ranger had to respect that. No matter how things played out between them.

He lifted her when the medics reached them. Wrapping his arms around her to keep her from falling apart. His hand spread over her still flat belly while they treated the man she loved. "They must have hit Morelli a lot harder than they did you," he said, feeling the lump at the back of her head. "We'll have you checked out when we get to the hospital."

"No, I'm okay."

"Babe, I wasn't asking. There are a lot of risks associated with head trauma. Not to mention how hard you hit the ground."

She was chewing the inside of her cheek. Had something to say he wouldn't like. "It doesn't matter how hard I fell," she whispered. "I'm not pregnant."

"Babe."

"No, it's official this time. I found out at my mom's house. I'm not late anymore," she said with a shrug.

"You sure?"

"I can't get much surer."

She wasn't looking at him. She was watching them wheel Morelli away. Didn't see the fleeting moment when he couldn't keep the disappointment from his face.

It wasn't a fraction of the disappointment he felt.

He'd been so sure. Told himself it wasn't just possible, but likely. Because deep down it had been what he really wanted. More than just an excuse to keep her. More than a permanent link to a woman he couldn't stop obsessing over. He'd wanted this.

A child.

With her.

As cruel as it would be, as unfathomable as it was for him to contemplate, that was the absolute truth.

Because he was a fucking selfish bastard.

"I can't do this anymore," she said at last.

"Do what?"

"This. Whatever this is. I can't do it. It's too risky."

An understatement, considering what she almost lost. He was relaxed around her, holding her tight. And she was tense. Because now that the threat was past, now that she knew with certainty that she hadn't lost the life she wanted by default because of a cruel twist of fate, she had to decide if she wanted to take the blind leap and stay in his bed. Settle for love and affection when she could have so much more than he was capable of offering. "You need promises," he confirmed.

She nodded. "I need solid ground. It doesn't work, trying to build bridges out of pillows. I know. Getting married again isn't in your life plan, but it might be in mine. You can't do relationships. Turns out I can't do just love and affection."

"That's an intelligent and mature observation," Ranger said. And then he turned her in his arms and kissed her. Soft and deep. Ignoring for just a moment that she was better off without him. Because no matter how intelligent he was, no matter how mature he tried to be, loving her made him stupid enough to want what he couldn't have.

Sunshine.

She melted. Her lungs shuttered up like she'd forgotten how to breathe. He broke the kiss when a smile found him. Resting his forehead on hers.

Deep.

Deep.

Shit.

"If you ever find yourself feeling stupid, you know where to find me."

She nodded again, caught up in the stupor he always caused in her. God. If he ever managed to slice her out of his soul it would be a miracle.

He couldn't promise her that he'd let her be, but he would try, if that's what she wanted. For her sake. Even if it killed him to see her happy with someone else.

As long as she was happy.

o o o

Ranger stayed behind to deal with the fallout, since he didn't have Stephanie to rush home to. Work was as good a distraction as any. Better, in fact, because it made up such a big part of his life. It was what he was good at. He'd seen that Steph was driven to the hospital to be with Morelli. It was the right thing to do. From what he heard, Morelli had a pretty serious concussion, but the intracranial swelling was minimal, and the bullet he'd taken was little more than a graze. Stitches and observation. Couple days of hospital food and he'd be home. Probably wouldn't even need medical leave.

Lucky bastard.

Nollen hadn't faired quite as well. The bullet broke his humerus. Officially putting him on a desk for the next few months until he could requalify for active duty. From what Hal said, Nollen wasn't all that upset about it. Hell of a first week.

Steph came for her things the day after the shooting. Ella had told him when Steph was coming. Given him plenty of opportunity to corner her in his penthouse apartment and seduce her into staying if that's what he wanted to do. But he knew all too well nothing was that simple. Short term solution for a long term problem. Even if he convinced her to stay another night, or two or three, they would still be in the same place. Two people with different goals in life, on two very different paths, who happened to be drawn together by a sexual attraction like gravity. It wasn't something you could build a life on. And he couldn't ask her to trust him when he was keeping secrets.

He could tell her about his past. Parts of it at least. But he was afraid. Afraid that it wouldn't sit well with her, the things he'd done. Even in the service of his country. Not the girl who was squeamish over blood and dead bodies. The girl who was afraid of her own gun because she understood just how dangerous it was.

If she knew him. Truly knew what he was. He might lose the rest of her too.

He couldn't risk that.

Not yet, at least.

Steph visited Morelli a few times in the hospital. Drove him home when he was released. But she didn't get back with him. Not for months, as far as Ranger could tell. She'd been given the choice between Morelli and Ranger and she'd chosen herself. Decided after their intense and torrid affair that she had to distance herself from both of them. Get a little perspective. She'd get back with Morelli eventually. History had proven that enough times. But he couldn't help but wonder if there was any part of her that wished she'd stayed. Wanted to take the gamble with him and see where it would lead. Because one thing had become clear to Ranger. Stephanie might not be ready for him, but she wasn't willing to go all in with Morelli either. She'd been pulling away from him too.

It took some digging, but Ranger finally found out what she'd meant about the pillow bridges. Apparently, when Steph was seven, she'd decided that she knew enough about physics and engineering to design a bridge to cross from her dresser to her wardrobe using nothing but a pillow. And 12 stitches later, the lesson she took from it was that you couldn't make something solid out of nothing.

Ranger took a different lesson.

He took it to mean that Stephanie Plum was the kind of girl who would always ignore common sense and take the risks anyway if it was what she really wanted. She was the girl who went from lingerie buyer to bounty hunter in one step. Faced drug dealers and mad men without batting an eye. Jumped off the garage roof because she wanted to fly.

If she wanted to make it work with Morelli, she would. But in the end, Morelli wasn't the garage roof anymore. He was the safety net. Dependable. Steady. Predictable. Ready to catch her when she'd inevitably fall.

But if she still wanted to fly, Ranger would give her wings.

I really hope you enjoyed FEARLESS!

Now the story continues with PLUM CRAZY, currently in progress

and a contemporary story that takes place after Tricky Twenty-Two.

Plum Crazy is my last planned full length Plum book and what I really hope will be a BabeHEA!