*Hello everyone! Thank you for waiting patiently. It's been a busy year for me, but I promise that nothing will stop me from continuing to write "Hidden Lives" and give Amon and Helen the conclusion they deserve. I'm hoping to squeeze out chapter 26 by the end of the year (fingers crossed). As always, I deeply appreciate your love and support for this story.
*Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters portrayed by Ralph Finnes & Embeth Davidtz in the movie "Schindler's List" and is purely fiction. I do not support Nazi ideology. *
Chapter 25: The unbreakable ties 1
Helen feels the cool breeze gently hitting her face. It provides a pleasant sensation. But the tenderness quickly disappears, transforming into an icy chill that wakes Helen from her deep slumber. Keeping her eyes closed, Helen winces and turns her head to the side. She refuses to wake up, wanting to remain in the state of unconsciousness. Her dreams can take her elsewhere…anywhere but here. She wants to turn back time…returning to the years before the war, back to the innocent days of her childhood.
When life was simpler.
But that isn't possible.
Helen tries to open her eyes but finds it difficult to do so. Its seems that a thin layer of eye crust is shutting both eyes. Helen slowly attempts to move her right-hand up to her face. Her fingers brush against the bed sheet and it seems unusually soft and silky. It doesn't feel like her usual cheap cotton bedding at the apartment. The gentle breeze hits her face again, this time bringing a light scent of fragrance towards her.
What is this?
Finally, Helen manages to peel her right eye open after a hard rub. She blinks a couple of times until her vision comes into focus. The first thing Helen sees are the dancing shadows on the ceiling. Helen wonders what they are. Helen quietly watches the shadow's hypnotic movements. Eventually she manages to fully open both eyes. The shadows are from a tree outside the window. Helen also notices the elaborate floral pattern covering the ceiling.
This is not my room.
Helen lifts her head from the pillow and realizes that she is in a large four-post bed. Across from the bed is a fireplace with a painting depicting a country landscape hanging above it. On the other side of the room is a white colored vanity, displaying various glass bottles on its surface. A large armoire stands next to it.
Where am I?
Alarmed, Helen tries to raise her body but yelps by the stinging pain, like being stung by a million needles. Helen slumps back on the bed from the unexpected agony. After calming herself down, Helen rolls to the side and pushes her body up relying on the left elbow. She finally manages to sit up, biting her lips from screaming again. Once the pain passes, Helen realizes she's wearing a long white lace nightgown she has never seen before.
Where…what is this place?
The situation is getting more confusing for Helen, almost to the point of terror. She must get out of here.
Helen pulls both legs towards the edge of the bed. As her feet touches the floor, Helen attempts to stand and walk forward. But her legs fail to hold her body's weight up. Helen tumbles forward and crashes on the carpet. Helen screams but quickly covers her mouth. She can't risk alarming anyone in this strange place.
Helen reaches up to grab the mattress above her with both hands. After a few attempts, Helen manages to pull herself off the floor. She sits on the bed and catches her breath. Helen massages her thin legs that loss its strength, as if it hadn't been used for a while.
What happen to me?
Helen tries to remember, pushing her memories as far as she can. Small snippets of that day flow back to her… the chaos, the smoke and the screams. Helen can see the Commandant's hand reaching out to her.
Then with pain, darkness fell. She can't recall after that.
Helen feels a chill down her spine and she hugs herself. She spots a robe hanging on a chair next to the bed. Helen slowly gets up and reaches for it. Wearing it makes her feel less naked. She looks around the room until she finds the main door that seems to be connected to the hallway. Helen makes her way up to the door and stares at the knob for a moment. There can be more danger outside this room. But she doesn't feel safe in here either. She takes a deep breath and opens the door.
Felix looks up from his book. He thought he heard something.
Ah, I'm hearing things again.
Felix shakes his head. In recent days, it's become more inevitable that age is finally catching up with him. Felix still feels like an energetic young man, at least in his mind. His biggest concern isn't the fading of his physical appearance, but rather the possibility of his mind slipping away. He saw it happen to his grandmother, who towards the end of her life barely remembered her own name. No one is allowed to avoid the process of aging.
Felix taps the tip of his book. In the past months, he started thinking about the future of his publishing business. He was extremely fortunate to have a thriving business during the war while maintaining a comfortable relationship with the government. His company still has the potential to grow and expand for the next 20 years. But under who's guidance is now in question.
Felix crossed off his son's name from the list a long time ago. He'd rather sell it to a complete stranger than to see Leopold take over. In times like this, Felix wishes he had more children…or a more competent child. The company has been in the Goeth's family for three generations and every time at least one person stepped up to take over the family business. Felix wonders how fate has left him with such a dim wit son. The other reasonable choice would have been Hans.
The gifted one…
Felix feels his face flush in anger. As the older sibling, Felix felt he should have been the genius between the two brothers. All the business success he managed to accomplish didn't fulfill the level of satisfaction he truly craved. To be a brilliant and celebrated writer as Hans was Felix's true desire. But Felix had to finally admit that he might end his life without leaving behind a literary masterpiece.
There was another desire he wished to fulfill.
She could be alive…
Suddenly Felix sees the library door knob turn on its own. His eyes widen as the door slowly opens and a white figure carefully walks into the room. He gets up from his chair.
Rose?
Helen's pale face pokes into the room. She is stunned to see Felix standing in the middle of this room that she came to because she saw light underneath the door. For a moment, Helen and Felix stare at each other in silence. Helen doesn't know how to react. On one hand, she is comforted with the sight of a familiar face. But the situation is causing more confusion within her.
"Please, come in," Felix motions towards the sofa next to him offering Helen to sit.
After hesitating, Helen carefully steps into the room. As she slowly approaches Felix, she looks around the room in awe. The beauty of the two-story library mesmerizes Helen. It is something that only can be described in fairytales. At the end of the room is a large window with an enormous desk place in front. Next to it is a winding staircase that leads to the upper floor bookcase.
There must be hundreds, even thousands of books in this room.
It all makes sense now…this is Felix Goeth's house. As Helen makes her way to the sofa, she can feel Felix observing her every move. As her eyes lock with his icy blue eyes, Helen wakes to the true nature of the owner of this magnificent house. She has no doubt where the Commandant got his dark side from. Behind its pristine surface, the Goeth's family kept their ugliness well hidden. She experienced it first hand, how one moment the Commandant can smooth talk his way towards her only to flip and mercilessly beat her. Draped in elegance and sophistication, this library seems to mirror Felix's desperate attempt to mask his dark side from the world. Helen reminds herself to be careful. She's in Felix's territory now.
"How are you feeling?"
"I…I'm fine, thank you…." Helen stumbles to reply.
Felix detects a sense of fear in Helen's big brown eyes. She always evoked a sense of protectiveness within Felix, like a father towards his young daughter. But he also felt a strong vibe of strength within this young woman. The mere fact that she has survived living with his son for years was amazing. Felix decided to get to the point.
"You have been a guest here for the past 3 weeks. Leopold brought you here to recover and to keep you safe," Felix explains.
3 weeks?
"You were hit on the head with some debris that was flying around at the site of the explosion. The whole city has turned upside down since that day. Leopold decided not to return to his apartment. After a brief stay at the hospital, he placed you with us while he has been commuting from a high security residence for the officers."
"Is he well?" Helen asks, surprised by her own question.
Felix is also taken aback by her question. Felix knew all the explicit details of his son's conducts, especially in Poland. It disgusted him, how his own son was celebrated by the Nazi party by being a human butcher. Killing off Jews without reason. How did he create such a monster? But knowing all the facts made Felix even more curious towards Helen.
What's going on between these two?
From his personal observation, Felix guesses that there is a slim chance of Leopold and Helen being in a sexual relationship. At his age, it isn't too difficult to read people, especially the younger ones. It wouldn't surprise Felix if Helen was a virgin, with no prior experience with men.
But that made it even more puzzling. Felix tilts his head and quietly observes Helen's pale face.
How does that explain Leopold's obsession with this girl? Desiring something he can never fully obtain? Once that happens…then will he discard her?
Felix never saw his son being besotted by any woman, nor human for that matter. Perhaps the closest was that Nazi girl Ingrid. Felix immediately disliked Ingrid and didn't bother to hide his reaction. As a father, Felix knew instinctively that this girl was trouble. Ingrid was a shimmering object that caught Leopold's attention with its sparkles. Any fool that drew closer will have his fingers cut with her hidden sharp edges… deep cuts that will take ages to heal. In the end Felix was proven right.
But with Helen, he had a completely different reaction. She had an aura of gentleness and in some ways fragility. Yet she's tough as steel, surviving alongside with Leopold. Felix wonders if Helen knows that his son isn't her captor. She had the equal amount of power to destroy Leopold if she chooses to do so. The bond of life and death they shared is becoming dangerous.
They must be separated.
At least one can be saved.
Amon slides into the driver's seat of his car and slams the door. He leans back and closes his eyes to indulge in the brief moment of silent privacy. In the past month, he was ordered to reside in the compound for the remaining high-ranking Nazi officials in Vienna for safety purposes. After intense investigation, it was again proven to be the work of DALF. Their second major attack in less than 2 years span has caused a furious reaction from Berlin. Supporting troops were quickly sent to Vienna to aide in terminating the resistance movement. Berlin's main concern was that these terrorist attacks may encourage other underground resistant groups around Europe. A firm action must display the Nazi party's no mercy policy towards terrorist.
Since the bombing, Vienna's security measures skyrocketed. Anyone who had the slightest suspicion were sent to prison and intense interrogation. Amon is glad that he took swift action to send Helen to his father's house.
Amon opens his eyes and realizes that he hasn't even contacted his father or anyone at his house since the night he dropped Helen there. Not only was Amon swamped with work, but he was also concerned about being wiretapped if he ever made phone calls from the compound.
I should check in.
Above all, Amon feels obligated to thank his father. Despite the bad blood between father and son, he did help him out when no one can be trusted. His father's office building isn't that far away. Amon takes a deep breath and starts the car engine.
Felix hears a sharp knock on the door. He stops writing and looks up as the door opens. He watches coolly as his son walks in. Felix doesn't offer Amon to sit, nor does Amon jumps forward to greet his father. Both men say nothing. Felix looks down and continues with his paperwork. Amon clears his throat and slowly makes his way to the chair placed in front of his father's desk.
"What brings you here?" Felix asks.
Amon shifts in his chair a bit to make himself comfortable.
"How are you father?"
"Fine. Why are you here today?" Felix asks sharply, without missing a beat.
Bastard.
"How is Lena?"
Suddenly, Felix stops writing and looks up. Amon is surprised by the reaction. His father's face is expressionless, as usual.
Best to get over with and leave immediately.
"I want to thank you for taking care of Lena."
Felix gently puts his fountainpen down on the desk, leans back and examines his son's face.
"Are you?" Felix asks with a tinge of sarcasm.
Amon tries to hold it together. Clearly his father is doing him a huge favor, perhaps risking his own safety. This was not the time to fight his father. Amon has to swallow his pride.
"Yes, of course I am thankful," Amon says, trying to sound as sincere as possible.
Felix smiles and looks down at the desk. This frightens Amon, as he is all too familiar with such behavior. His father is thinking, contemplating, strategizing … like figuring out the next chess move against his opponent. Finally, Felix looks up and shoots Amon an icy glare.
"So, what happens next?"
"Pardon?"
"Vienna is going mad. Lena isn't safe here. You must evacuate her."
Amon feels the anger rise from within him. Although it is a legitimate question, why is his father telling him what to do? Amon tries to calm himself down.
"She's fine. She just needs to recuperate for a while and then return…"
"What are you doing with this girl? She deserves better," Felix says, cutting Amon mid-sentence.
Now Amon feels his blood boil, although he isn't sure it's due to anger or the embarrassment of his privacy being invaded.
"Father, this is our life…"
"She's in danger because she is with you." Felix cuts him again.
"Lena is fine," Amon replies, trying not to yell back.
"No, she isn't. You know darn well that she isn't."
Amon breathes hard, his chest visibly rising high and sinking low. He couldn't hold back anymore.
"I don't think caring about others is your strongest suit."
Felix glares back at his son. The topic is thrown back to his side once more. Perhaps until the moment of Felix's death, Amon will continue to blame his father for all that has happened to Hans and his mother. Felix feels exhausted by what he perceives as a childish behavior. For once, he wishes he can pound some sense into his son's thick brain.
"That has nothing to do with Lena," Felix repies.
"No, it does. You wish to intrude into my life because you care? But you don't."
"I didn't intrude. You invited me in."
Amon becomes speechless.
"What do you think I am, some kind of a hotel you throw people in when it's convenient for you? Since you decided to bring your business into my house, it becomes my business as well."
"Fine. I will have Lena leave immediately…"
"And then what? Where will you take her? We're circling back to the main issue, son. Being with you, she's in danger."
Amon bites his lips. He hates what he hears, but he knows there's a kernel of truth in his father's words. What happens to Helen now? Even his own safety isn't guaranteed. If Amon dies, who will protect Helen? Amon feels slightly dizzy. His main goal of visiting his father was to say thank you, no more or less.
Now he wishes he never came.
"Don't taint her with your filth."
Amon can't handle the insult anymore. He pushes his chair back and rises. Felix watches his son with deep disappointment. To Felix, a man who can't control his emotions in public is weak.
"I will not trouble you anymore. I will pick Lena up soon."
Idiot…throwing childish tantrums.
Felix watches his son walk out and close the door behind him.