AN - I'd had the idea for this one for a while, and while the Kili Intervention has 'ended' it is still part of the background... unless I come up with something else. Chapter 24... not bad for a story I thought was going to be a one time deal. Who knows where it will go?

Standard disclaimers apply: This is not meant to claim rights or deny WB, MGM, WingNut, PJ or JRR.

Azog vs the AU

Azog had taken to avoiding fan fiction when he was around Kili, not because he was ashamed, but more out of respect. I mean, even after everything it had done to their friendship (including creating it), he still felt its draw and, yes more than a little bit of morbid curiosity wrapped in utter confusion.

At one point, after he'd quickly hidden the netbook under the table when Kili walked in, the dwarf had sat down and finally talked to him. He admitted that Azog wasn't the one who'd gone off the deep end, and for him fanfiction was more of a social thing. He, Kili, was the one with the problem and the world wasn't going to stop making fancfiction. It was just something he was going to have to learn to navigate around.

Azog had nodded, and Kili finally drew a deep breath.

"Az, I'm sorry I blamed you—and I see now that you were right to be concerned and I should be flattered that you did worry about me. I'm really sorry for chapters 10-25, and again for chapters 120-126… I didn't think about how," he paused trying to find the right words. "I didn't mean to scare you or insinuate anything about you… I just… well… I'm sorry."

Azog nodded, and when Kili noticed the look on the pale orc's face he tilted his head. "Talk to me."

Azog gave him a sheepish smile. "I was wondering if you could answer a question about… AU."

Kili chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "That's a safe question. AU is Alternate Reality… where you take us and put us in a different world… or you change a person's race, or personality, add a fifteenth member of the part… that sort of thing."

Azog nodded slowly. "I've got that part."

"But you still have a question."

Azog nodded. "I'm wondering if there's a line you draw when writing AU… something to keep the characters or the world the same…a point where it stops being AU?"

"How so?"

"Well," Azog said. "I was reading one where… We're all human… I'm a sarcastic, sardonic female Gym teacher and you all sing…"

Kili thought a moment trying to find something there that still tied back to their reality.

"We do sing," Kili offered.

Azog paused weighing the response.

"Okay… how about this one… Another school… we're all, for the most part human… Gandalf is the head master of a school for witchcraft and wizardry; Radagast is the games keeper; Galadriel teaches divination… and you and Fili are twins named Fred and George…"

"Are you sure that was an AU? Maybe you were just… "

Azog shook his head. "No, I was in the Hobbit section."

"Well, I'm not sure about the first one… but the second one is Harry Potter so… well… I guess there is a line…"