A/N: I own nothing of TWD. Please enjoy my version.
Beth officially let the worrying begin. She had been waiting all evening for the group's return. She was a little antsy after learning Daryl had ventured outside the walls and perhaps a little hurt he hadn't let her know. It wasn't until she realized there were a couple of others that were getting concerned did she truly start to worry. It was the time of year when days were long and sunlight was plentiful so when the last rays disappeared over the fence, Beth felt her stomach bottom out.
She busied herself as much as possible as the sky was painted a beautiful hues of purple, pink and orange. She got a jumpstart on laundry for tomorrow. She read a story to a few small children at Oscar's request before bed. She paced in the cafeteria after prepping for the next morning's breakfast. The cafeteria allowed her direction vision to the front gates via large windows partial covered by wood slates for protection. No one, no truck, no return. Beth knew Daryl could take care of himself. She knew it but it wouldn't stop her from worrying the corner of her lip. The moon was finally out when she accidentally drew blood.
Exhausted, Beth finally sulked to her room. She snuck in carefully, trying to be quiet not to wake the sleeping forms of Marie and Oscar. Beth laid down and tried to relax but her mind and body wouldn't allow it. She tossed once to her other side and then flopped to her back a moment later, letting out a long sigh to acknowledge it was useless to try to sleep.
As Beth was about to roll back over, Marie spoke, "No sense in telling you not worry. I'm worried too but not sleeping won't help either."
Beth cringed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she replied sheepishly, raising her head.
There was a small window that provided a little moon light. Beth could see Marie as she sat up slowly as to not wake her sleeping son, Oscar. She tucked him in gently, a soft mother's smile on her face as she placed the blanket high on his shoulder. Her long black hair was still in the braid Beth has given her in the morning. The two women often did that for each other, braiding their long, wild hair in tight, contained packages.
"You didn't. Not really… I was dozing. I don't sleep well either when Jessica isn't here… especially… since…" her voice faltered and she squeezed her eyes shut. "They'll be home soon."
Beth sighed again. "I know. I just… I worry about Daryl. He's probably the most capable man I've ever met but I still worry. Can't help myself."
Marie look out the window, the moonlight highlighting her haggard features. Beth had always thought the middle-aged woman had sad, brown eyes. Jess had mentioned Marie's dead husband in passing the first night before she had introduced them. A warning to avoid the topic. Beth understood it had happened recently.
She turned back and looked over to Beth. "I told Jessica to talk to you first."
Not understanding the statement, Beth asked, "About going on the run?"
"No, about Daryl," she said simply.
Beth rose quickly in her bed to a sitting position, her feet on the floor in front of her. "What about Daryl?"
"You were upset that first night. Thought it was from what had happened outside of here. You were a little beat up, looked like you had been to hell and back. Who would blame you for crying most of that first night here? Jessica said you both had been through a lot. But that wasn't it, was it? Next morning I could tell something was wrong between you and Daryl. First I thought it had something to do with that attack. But it doesn't, does it? There is something else wrong between you two."
Beth lowered her gaze. "No, it doesn't have to do with the attack."
"You wanna talk about it?" Marie probed gently.
Beth shrugged. She did, oh, she did but could she? "It's hard to explain…"
"You two a couple? I know you said you were family but the way he looks at you and you look at him when neither of you think no one is looking…"
"No… not really," Beth fumbled, blushing at the realization someone knew. "He doesn't want me or at least that's what he told me. Like I said, it's hard to explain."
Marie gave a snort of disbelief. "Any man who follows you around the way he does is lying when he says that." Then her tone became a little more serious as she said, "You're not for a relationship either, right?"
"No, I'm the one that pushed him on it. I want one."
"Don't you think he's a little old for you?" Marie asked, her eyes questioning hers.
Beth shook her head. "End of the world right now and I don't think that's as big of a problem anymore."
"How old are you?"
"Nineteen," Beth answered defensively.
Marie arched her brows noticeably in the dim light in disbelief.
Beth gave a roll of her eyes. "My birthday was a couple of weeks ago," she responded tartly.
"Don't look it, nina. This new world isn't kind to many but apparently it's allowed you to keep your youthful looks. I know it's not my place but maybe it's just not right. He probably sees that. He's older than you. He seems a bit rough and ragged and not really the type of guys most young girls would go for."
She shrugged again and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face as she thought about Daryl. "That's kinda what makes him even better. I know he's trying to protect me but I think… I think I scare him a little. We've gotten pretty close, back when it was just the two of us for such a long time. I just wanna give it a try with him, just need to figure out how to explain that to him."
Marie returned her smile. "Kissing him might work," she offered encouragingly.
Beth gave a dark chuckle. "Nah, hasn't worked that well yet."
Marie laughed with her. "Alright, girl's got a mind of her own then. Well, let me know if you need more advice in your pursuit of that surly man."
Before Beth could answer, they heard a commotion. Marie leaned forward peering out the window and waved Beth over. Beth carefully navigated a view out the small office window, careful of the sleeping boy. They could barely make out returning group but also noticed there were many others with them as three more vehicles pulled in behind them. Marie mouthed words Beth had vaguely heard before. Preacher. Guardians. The men and their leader that were responsible for the protection of the small community.
Beth crawled back to her own bed, relief at catching a glimpse of her archer. She twisted onto her side with her hands folded tightly under her chin, blanket pulled up high and waited. She hadn't meant to sleep but was awaken as Jess crept into the room. She wasn't sure how long she had been out, rubbing at her eyes. Beth rose to sitting position in a rush at her entry, waiting for a moment before realizing Daryl was not going to follow behind her.
Jess did not miss the disappointment in Beth's eyes. "He's okay," she whispered, pulling her boots off. "Had some injuries we had to take care of, nothing serious. Then he went off to talk with the Preacher."
Beth nodded and laid back down. Her head hit the pillow once again and she was asleep instantly. It was just before the dawn crept into the room when Beth blinked awake. Her eyes targeted Daryl's cot, still empty. She frowned and sat up, knowing she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. Daryl was always the question bouncing around in her mind for the last couple of weeks. It hadn't allowed her to think of much else so when her eyes drifted across the room to the small calendar Oscar kept, awaiting his upcoming birthday, it surprised her to see the date. Tears stung her already blood shot eyes. It was Maggie's and her father's birthday today. A day, they used to tease her incessantly, that was the best day in the world, the birth of two of the most fabulous people ever to grace the world. A day of such family joy in the past shot a sorrowful pain to her center.
She took a stabilizing breath and crept for the door. She exited the room, leaving the sleeping people behind, as a plan entered her head. She made her way down quiet, dark halls to the staircase. Beth climbed them, finding her solace in the roof. There was the start of the garden beginning with pots of tomatoes and trellises soon to be full of beans and peas. There was life here, the greenery and beginning sunlight reaffirmed it to her. She looked out at the soft rays of light and tried to keep the sadness away, remembering good memories of the day of her mother, father, Maggie and Shawn. She was without them right now… all of them. Only her hope of her sister being alive was making it tolerable at the moment. Tears of joy and sadness of her cheeks?
Beth's focus was still on the rising rays when she heard the roof door open behind her. She had only been up there a few minutes alone. Her first thought was she needed more time alone before facing anyone but instantly she recognized the pattern of the footsteps coming up behind her. Daryl.
"Where were you?" she asked hoarsely, not turning to look at the man coming up behind her.
His feet stop just behind her. "Had to help," he mumbled.
"All night?" Beth returned, unable to keep the irritation from creeping into her tone.
Beth believed she could hear him rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Had some stuff to think about. Couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake y'all."
She glanced back at him over her shoulder. "It was nice of Jess to let us know you were ok."
He grimaced but wouldn't meet her gaze. Never once in the last fourteen days had his blue eyes connect with hers. "M'sorry."
Beth turned back to the sunrise, the morning glow highlighting her face gently. "You figure it out?"
Daryl grunted, "Huh?"
"What you had to think about? Figure it out?"
He finished the distance between them, walking up next to her. His shoulder was even with hers but he kept just enough distance between them so they wouldn't touch, even accidentally. It was the closest he had been by his own choice to her since that first day here. It set her pulse racing.
"No, not good at that crap," he responded gruffly and then lightened his tone slightly as he continued, "Learned that a long time ago, best to just not to think. Period."
Beth let a little laugh escape her at his joke and Daryl gave her a half-smile in return. She looked over at him, enjoying his closeness and sparse conversation. She had missed it so much, just that. What little it was meant the world to her. Daryl's expression changed instantly when he was finally able to see her face full on.
"You okay?" he inquired, concerned.
She wiped at trails of tears left on her cheeks. "Oh, yes, sorry. I was just thinkin' about Maggie and Daddy. It's their birthday today. Always told me it was the best day of the year. Even Daddy teased me he couldn't deny the fact. The day the lord gave him life and his first beautiful daughter, all in one day." She laughed softly again but couldn't stop a tear from escaping. "I just miss them a lot."
Daryl nodded once before returning to look at the pink and orange hues illustrating the morning sky. "I miss 'em too. Hershel. He was a good man."
She smiled at his remark. "The best… not perfect but he was a great dad and friend. There is so much to miss about him… my family. The picnic we would have each time to start the summer with Maggie's and Dad's birthday. It was splendid. I miss it all but it helps to remember it sometimes. To focus on the good memories I still have."
The silence slipped in easily between them. Neither talking or moving as they watched the announcement of the new day. Daryl shifted uncomfortably once next to her, his bow on his shoulder. It brought him a little closer to her, a breadth of air between them. Beth tried to reconcile the pull of emotions in her. There was part of her that was saddened by reminder there would never be another double birthday while the part of her had a sense of anticipation fluttering in her from the handsome man standing next to her.
His voice was gravely and low when he broke the quiet, sending a shiver down Beth's spine. "You 'member that time, at the cabin, when we argued about life before? What I missed? I said I missed nothin'." Daryl looked over to her and Beth nodded slowly, the memory of her questions and his resulting blow up came to her after a moment's thought.
Daryl swallowed thickly at her response and looked away again, the morning rays highlighting his chiseled features. She saw his jaw tick under the weight of what he felt before he continued, "How could I miss anythin'? Bastard of a father… dead mother… fuckin' drugged out brother? What was there to miss, Beth?" he questioned, his eyes flinching at the words about Merle. "Here and now, I have… had a family, a community. A place where I belonged. I had a job and a purpose. I protected people, I provided, I led." He paused and took a deep breath. "How fucked up is that? I'd rather have this fuckin' dead filled world than the one before," he rasped his final explanation.
Beth took in the truth he had just told her, part of his soul bared to her. She pondered on what did she prefer? The here and now or the before when the world for her was idyllic and almost silly compared to the view she had now. Beth had been a simple high school kid before. What did she know of life then? Now, she was a grown woman with lessons on living and death, giving and lying, fear and bravery. She was aware of the precociousness of every moment, every feeling and touch in this world. Despite the sorrow and fear of this new reality, she knew she had been given a gift that some never knew in their lifetime. The love of a family and a bond of friendship that could never be broken. A reality she understood and was grateful to know.
She knew she needed to tell him she understood. She could hear the scared, fast breathing of the man next to her, he was waiting for an answer from her. Beth reached her hand out and took his rough one into her smaller one. She laced her fingers in his, feeling him grip her tightly.
"Me too, Daryl. I know that sounds crazy with all that I've lost but I couldn't go back and what if this life now. I've said that before. This is it and I'm glad you are here with him," she whispered the last part as she squeezed his hand. "I miss Mom. I miss Dad." Another pair of tears escaped her blue eyes and trailed down her cheeks slowly. "I miss Maggie and Shawn and Patricia. I miss Carl and Judith…" Her voice broke a little with memory of her little ward. Beth knew she had to stop before she couldn't contain the tears and contradict what she had just declared.
Daryl squeezed her hand harder in reassurance. For a moment, Beth thought he may hug her and talk her in to his arms. But then again, that wouldn't have been her Daryl.
His voice was also broken when he admitted, "I miss them, too."
It was the first time in weeks, she felt at peace.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please check out "Missed You", the BETHYL story I promised in my last author notes.