A/N:

Song for this chapter is Talk Shows on Mute by Incubus.

Big hugs and thanks go out to my betas Dinx, Mizzdee, and jointgifts for putting up with my less than perfect grammar skills. I wouldn't be able to do this without them.

Chapter 25

~.~.~

Talk Shows on Mute

December 10, 2003

Esme scheduled a doctor's appointment after Edward had his seizure on Thanksgiving Day. I ended up attending it with Edward and Esme, because I was curious about what the doc would say. He'd pretty much agreed with the ER doctor's assessment, telling us Edward would most likely be battling with seizures—even the grand mals, as he'd had that day—for the rest of his life. It was a sobering conversation.

We were on edge in the days that followed. When Carlisle found out what had happened that night, he had been just as worried as the rest of us. The cautious way we were acting got on Edward's nerves. He called us out on our behavior and told us that we were being ridiculous. It was hard to not watch his every move and wonder if he was going to feel off and go down, once again.

After five days had passed, Emmett and I began to let up a bit. We could see that Edward really was okay. He was back to where he had been before the seizure and hadn't had much more than a light tremor in his hands since.

~.~.~.~

Emmett had been secretive for the past two days. He would leave in the morning and come back around dinner time, whistling. I wondered if he'd found a girl to spend his time with. If anyone deserved someone, it was Emmett. His divorce from Rosalie was almost finalized, and I knew that he was grateful to get rid of the harpy. None of us had seen her since she'd stormed out of the hospital months before—not that any of us really cared. Even Esme and Carlisle supported his split from his poisonous, soon to be ex-wife.

There was a twinkle in his eye that hadn't been present before, and his good mood was constant. A new girlfriend was the only reason that could explain his behavior. Any time he was questioned about his actions, he ignored us. Whatever it was, he was keeping a tight lid on it.

"I'm bored," Edward said, staring at the television.

We were sitting in the living room, watching some history program. It was kind of interesting, but I had to agree with Edward. I was bored out of my fucking mind.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I don't care, just as long as we can leave. I'm going crazy here," he answered.

"Um," I said. "We could go to the book store."

He stuck out his tongue, not liking that idea.

"We could go to Port Angeles," Edward suggested.

"Ugh, I really don't want to drive that far," I admitted.

"You're no fun."

"Yeah, I know," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I want some pie. Let's go to the diner," Edward stated.

"We can do that."

Edward and I piled into my car, taking off toward Forks' only diner. As I drove, I thought about Edward's sister, Alice. I still couldn't believe she had taken off like she did at the hospital. It was like she couldn't handle what had happened and left so she wouldn't have to deal with it. So much for being concerned about family.

I had talked to Edward about Alice not long after his ER visit. He'd said it upset him that she took off, but he wasn't going to let it bother him. If she wanted to be a part of his life, then she had to make some sort of effort. He wasn't going to be the one to make the first move.

I was actually proud of him. He'd let his sister get to him for years, and he'd finally come to the point where he wasn't going to let her bother him anymore. I was glad, because he didn't need the stress that came with Alice and her baggage. Stress was only going to cause more seizures for him. So, if cutting ties with her would relieve some of the tension, I was all for it.

Pulling into the parking lot a short time later, I noticed that the restaurant had very few customers. It was perfect. Edward had trouble dealing with large crowds, and the noise would cause him headaches. The limited amount of people ensured that we would be able to eat without too many problems.

Edward held the door open for me as we walked inside. Even though he'd had major surgery to his brain and had lost many things about himself, the core of who he was still existed. It was little things, like opening doors for me, or teasing his brother, that let me know.

We were seated quickly by our waitress.

"So, what can I get you?" she asked.

Edward picked up a menu and looked it over. "Um, I'll have the cherry pie and a glass of milk," he said.

"Okay, darlin'. And for the lady?" she asked.

"The cheese fries and a coke for me," I said.

"All right. I'll get those right out," the waitress promised, walking away from the table.

"What?" I questioned when I caught Edward staring at me.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?"

I chuckled. "You have. You're such a dork."

He clutched his chest playfully. "You wound me, woman."

Being silly with Edward always put me in a good mood, and it was like, no matter what had changed, we had found a way to interact with each other without letting the drama pull us under. Some of the things that would have pissed me off before, seemed so insignificant those days. Going through the worst kind of pain you could ever imagine put things into perspective.

Edward and I talked about everything and nothing as we waited for our food to arrive. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes when he brought up some of his more outlandish outlooks on life, but it was tolerable just to watch his facial expressions when he explained his viewpoint.

"You know, if you take a picture, you can look at my head whenever you want," Edward called out.

Motherfucker.

I turned and noticed a man sitting at the counter, staring at Edward. While I understood the scar on my boyfriend's head looked scary and grotesque, I still couldn't believe how rude some people were. It was as if Edward was some sideshow freak they were entitled to stare at. The audacity of those assholes astounded me.

The man turned back to the counter, ducking his head. The action, though, did not appease Edward in the least.

"No, man, go ahead. It was so fucking important to stare at me. Now that I know you were invading my privacy, you should just snap a picture so you can study it later," Edward said.

"Edward," I hissed. "Knock it off."

I really didn't care that he was, basically, embarrassing the man. If he was that stupid, he deserved to be called out for the jackass he was. However, I was afraid we were about to be kicked out for causing a scene.

"But, Bella—"

"I know. I agree. Some people shouldn't be so rude," I said, hoping the volume of my voice carried over to the man. "But you have to calm down, or they will kick us out. Then you'll never get your pie."

"You're probably right." He sighed. His shoulders slumped, and the fight left him. "Behaving in public sucks. Where's Emmett when you need him? He would have probably yelled at the guy, too."

I shook my head, starting to worry about what exactly Edward and his brother did when they went out.

Not long after Edward settled down, our food came. The rest of the time, we ate in silence. Edward seemed placated by his dessert, almost as if he'd forgotten his earlier irritation. It was possible that he didn't remember it, especially since things that were recent were still touch and go at times. I wasn't going to push the issue either way, because truthfully, I was hoping he wouldn't recall it.

~.~.~.~

December 12, 2003

"Emmett, you suck," I said, pouting.

"Oh, come on, blue bell. Surprises are fun." Emmett laughed.

"I agree with Bella, Emmett. Surprises are fine, but you're a dick for making us wear blindfolds," Edward complained.

After lunch, Emmett had come storming into the kitchen and demanded that Edward and I come with him. He said it was important, and we had to be blindfolded so we wouldn't ruin the surprise. Sitting in Em's Mercedes with a scarf over my eyes, though, I thought he was full of shit and just wanted to fuck with us.

"There's ice on the ground. I'm going to fall, bust my ass, and it's going to be all your fault," I whined.

"Have some faith, Bella," Emmett said. "Do you really think I'd let you, or my brother for that matter, get out when you're both impaired? I thought you trusted me better than that. You really know how to hurt a guy's feelings," Emmett mock complained.

I huffed.

"I'm about two seconds away from ripping this damn thing off. What's the hold up?" Edward argued.

"Fine." Emmett sighed. "Neither of you have any patience, and you're both kill joys. Go ahead and take them off."

Pulling off my blindfold, the sight of an empty building nestled into Forks' only strip mall met my eyes. My brow crinkled in confusion, because, what was exciting about an abandoned building?

"What the hell, Emmett?" Edward asked, tossing his blindfold into the front seat. "I thought it was going to be something worthwhile. Why am I staring at an empty store? Are we breaking the windows with rocks?"

"Really?" I said, turning around and facing Edward, who was sitting in the back seat. "Vandalism is the first thing you think of?"

"You're just jealous you weren't creative enough to think of it first," Edward teased.

"Yes, because I really wanted to go see my dad at work and stare at him through metal bars," I retorted.

Emmett cackled. "Dude, I swear. If you're ever stupid enough to lose this girl, I'm kicking your ass. No one will put up with your craziness like she does."

Edward scowled. "Blow me, dickhead."

"Okay, children, settle down," I admonished. "So, Em, are you going to explain why we're here any time soon or are we going to turn into blocks of ice?"

Emmett shook his head and smiled at me, causing my irritation to double. He was enjoying torturing Edward and I way too much. I really liked Emmett, but I was about to throttle him.

"All right. All right. I'll tell you why we're here. I had this whole speech planned out, but since you and Mr. Impatient are demanding I enlighten you as to why I'm parked outside the storefront, I'll get to it," Emmett began.

Edward and I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"You see, I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to decide what to do with my life. You both are aware I sold Masen Unlimited, and I probably have enough money to be one of those rich playboys who travels the world, but that's not how I want to spend my time."

"O-kay," I said, not understanding where he was going with his words.

"Well, I'm still pissed I couldn't find that fish tank," Emmett continued.

"You're still on this?" I asked. "I thought you gave up when they told you it wasn't in the hospital."

"Bella," Emmett said. "If there's anything that drives me crazy, it's an unsolved mystery. I never did satiate my curiosity, and I probably never will. I figure, instead of letting it get to me, I'll start a business where I can stare at as many tanks as I want, and they'll be better than anything the fish channel could ever come up with."

"You're going to start a business just so you can display a tank?" Edward asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. "That's kind of stupid, Em."

Emmett rolled his eyes at Edward.

I sat there, with the wheels in my head turning. I couldn't imagine Emmett starting a business just to have a tank on site. It was a stupid thing to do, just like Edward had pointed out. Chewing on my lip, the cogs in my mind turned faster and faster until everything clicked.

"You're going to open up a pet shop, aren't you?" I inquired, believing I was right.

"Exactly. I knew you were a smart girl," Emmett said.

"You don't know anything about pets," Edward argued. "You killed that goldfish Dad bought you in the third grade by feeding it Goldfish crackers. All of your merchandise is doomed to die."

"Oh ye of little faith," Emmett retorted, getting out of the car and walking to the glass doors in front. "Come on. You want to see the inside or not?"

Edward got out and gave his brother an incredulous look. I followed Edward's actions, shivering as I waited for Emmett to unlock the door. We stepped inside once it was open, and it wasn't much warmer than outside.

It was glaringly obvious, once Emmett turned on the lights, a lot of work was going to have to be done to the store before it could open. The place was dirty, with dust on every surface and paper scattered all over the floor. Empty boxes were piled into a corner, and wires hung from a few places in the ceiling.

"Um, yeah. It's…something," I stuttered, not sure what I should say.

"I know it's kind of messed up now, but if you use your imagination, I'm sure you'll see what I do," Emmett explained, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

He began listing off all of the repairs that would have to be made, how he wanted to set up the layout of the store, what animals, besides fish, he was thinking about selling, and the different methods of advertising he was considering. During all of it, I noticed he was more animated discussing that business venture than he ever had been when he talked about dealings at his grandfather's company. Em had made a small fortune there, but it had never been his passion. That new business opportunity, born out of a need to find a way to deal with tragedy, had woken up an enthusiasm in him I'm sure no one had seen before.

"I still say everything you're going to sell will die before it's available to the public," Edward sang.

Emmett palmed his face. "You're never going to let it go, are you? I was eight, and it was a logical conclusion, at the time, that those crackers were for the fish. Why else would they have been named Goldfish?"

"Um, maybe because they're shaped like goldfish?" I pointed out.

"Fuck you both," Emmett said. "I'll hire people who know how to care for animals. I admit, I have no idea what goes into nurturing them, but I do know the business side of things."

"No one will dispute that," I said with a smile.

Emmett nodded. "And I'll also put this knucklehead to work."

He pulled Edward over and slung his arm around his shoulders.

"Get off of me, you ape," Edward said, knocking Emmett's arm off. "What the hell would I do? I'm not a psycho that wants to stare at fish all day like you."

"You can scare all the fish with your ugly face," Emmett teased.

"I'll have you know that most girls think I'm pretty," Edward said, and then his face twisted up in confusion. "Wait…shit…that's not what I meant to say."

I laughed loudly. "Aw, baby, you're pretty to me."

"Damn it. I meant to say handsome. Guys aren't pretty," Edward replied. "My brain was scrambled for a moment."

"Sure it was," Emmett said. "Don't lie. You think you're pretty."

Edward huffed.

Edward had trouble sometimes choosing the right words to express himself when he spoke. It was like he knew what he meant, but his brain didn't register it and picked another random word to use in its place. That caused Edward frustration, but I understood what he was trying to say most of the time. It was another thing he'd have to deal with for the rest of his life, and in comparison to some of the other outcomes he had been facing, it was a mild annoyance.

"Seriously, though, bro. Think about it. Working with me will give you something to do, and we can hang out all day," Emmett said in a serious tone.

"Only if you quit being such an ass," Edward taunted.

~.~.~.~

December 20, 2003

Once the ink was dry on the contract, Emmett began renovations on his pet shop. I found out later on that, instead of just leasing the spot, he'd bought the entire building. It had been up for sale, and since Emmett didn't want anyone else to have the ability to tell him what he could and could not do with the space, he decided owning the property was a good way to solve the problem.

Emmett hired a construction company to redo the inside, since he had no experience with that type of thing. The man had all kinds of ideas on how he wanted the store to look and was unwavering in his vision. When he'd shown me what he had planned, though, I understood why he was so protective of his design. The store was going to be amazing when it was finished.

It only took a day for Edward to decide he wanted to work with Em. The chance to do something productive with his time had been a huge draw, and he liked the idea of working with his brother, as well. Emmett had been happy when Edward accepted the offer, and both of them went into full planning mode. Some of the ideas Emmett had incorporated into the final plan had come from Edward himself. It had been good for him to see that he really was able to contribute, even if it wasn't much.

Esme wasn't fond of the idea of Edward working with Emmett. She'd worried about the possible stress the job could cause Edward. What she didn't realize, though, was that it would probably be far less than what he experienced in his parents' home.

The person that surprised me was Carlisle. I'd expected him to share his wife's attitude, but he didn't. Once he found out what Emmett was going to do, and that he'd asked Edward to be a part of it, Carlisle had thought it would be good for Edward.

I held my coffee in my hands, relishing in the warmth it provided, while Edward and Emmett were standing off to the side, "supervising" the workers. We had come in early to the shop, because Emmett wanted to make sure the repairs were on schedule. He was shooting for a March opening, and he was becoming more and more of a control freak as each day passed. Edward seemed at ease, watching Emmett check and recheck certain things.

A cold breeze alerted me that someone had opened the doors. I turned and saw Carlisle enter. He looked around, taking in all of the changes that had been made in the last few days. His eyes met mine, and he walked over to me. There was a small smile playing on his lips, and I wasn't sure what it meant. My defenses were up, wondering what he wanted.

After he reached me, he stood next to me and turned to where his sons were standing. Emmett was arguing with the foreman, gesturing with his hands wildly. Edward stood next to him and tried to calm him down. I probably would have laughed if I had been alone.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Emmett would work outside of an office," Carlisle mused.

"Yeah, life's funny like that," I quipped.

"I also never thought I'd live to see the day that Emmett and Edward would mend their strained relationship. After so many years of them being at odds, it's nice to see them like this," Carlisle admitted.

I wasn't sure where he was going with his confession, but I did know that whatever direction it took, it wasn't going to change the way I felt about things, at all.

He leaned back against the wall behind us and sighed.

"Parents don't get an instruction manual when they have kids. We just have to stumble along and hope that our choices are right, and we don't mess them up too much," he continued.

I looked at him with a blank expression.

"I'm aware that you and Esme don't see eye to eye when it comes to Edward. Right now, I'm not sure who's correct. Sometimes, when I look at my son, I see the man he was before the drugs took hold of him. Other times, well, I see what Esme does. A child in an adult's body."

"He's not a child," I retorted. Anger seeped into my tone.

"I know you believe that. I can see it in your eyes," Carlisle said. "And I'm not trying to dissuade you. Bella, you spend the most time with him. You probably know him better than anyone at this point. I know I've been absent, working a lot these past few weeks, so I'm not the best judge of Edward's mental state."

My eyes bugged out, because I was shocked he'd admitted he didn't know everything when it came to Edward. When I'd pictured that conversation, which I knew was going to happen eventually, I figured Carlisle would side with Esme and insist his son was mentally compromised. Seeing that the time had come, and he'd basically shattered my preconceptions, I didn't know what to think.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, looking at Carlisle.

"I'm saying I don't know anymore. Maybe I was wrong to insist Edward come live with us. Maybe I was right. Regardless, you have to understand that the decision was made out of a desire to help Edward. And, to be brutally honest, a desire for a second chance to right the wrongs of the past. You can't imagine how appealing it was to have a fresh start with Edward. I'm beginning to think that reason wasn't the best for Edward, though. Esme told me what you said to her, and it got me thinking."

I braced myself. I'd said a lot of things to his wife, some of which weren't very nice. I'd been in defensive mode, trying to stand up for Edward. Carlisle's reaction to that conversation could go so many different ways.

"Esme's convinced that Edward living with us is what is best for him. However, I see the stress he's been under since he's come home. I know a lot of it is because of my wife's insistence that she be the one to care for him. The stress, no matter what the source is, isn't good for Edward's seizures."

I nodded, grateful that he was acknowledging the fact. He was a doctor, so I knew he was aware of what the conflict between Esme and Edward was doing to his son.

"I've decided to retire. I've been at the hospital for over twenty years, and I think it's time. I see patients every day, trying to help them. The fact that I've all but abandoned my son for strangers because of my work doesn't sit well with me. Maybe if I'm home more, I can help."

Another thing I wasn't expecting. Carlisle loved his job and didn't mind the long hours. It was hard on Esme at times, but she was willing to make that sacrifice for her husband's happiness. Retiring to be at home more sounded like a good idea, but at the same time, it could cause Edward more anxiety.

"Carlisle—"

"Just, hear me out," Carlisle interrupted. "I know what you're going to say, but the decision isn't solely based on Edward and his condition. My wife needs me, too. What happened has put a strain on her, and I want to be there for her.

"I acknowledge the fact that Edward seems to want you around more than the rest of us, and he seems to respond better when Esme and I stay out of the way. It's never easy for a father to realize that his child doesn't need him anymore, that you have to let them go.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to make sure Edward is taken care of in the future. I know that Emmett would do it when Esme and I are gone, but it wouldn't be the same."

"What do you want from me? A contract written in blood?" I asked. It hurt that Carlisle, just like Esme, was questioning my commitment to Edward. I wondered if they truly realized the stress and pain I'd gone though and what it had taken to make the decision to end things with him before the accident. I hadn't done it lightly, nor without reservations. At the time, it was the only way I could save myself from being consumed by Edward's addictions alongside him.

Carlisle let out a weak laugh. "No, nothing that dramatic. You have to understand, though, we only worry because you've reached a breaking point before. What's to say you won't have another one in the future?"

"Realizing I couldn't save him from himself was the hardest thing I've ever had to face," I whispered. "It was the lowest point in my life, before everything went to hell. However, it gave me the opportunity to see what it'd be like, in a way, if we weren't together anymore. Carlisle, I get it."

He stared at me.

"You're afraid I'll flake on him again. Don't you see, though? I can't. It would literally tear me apart if I had to leave him. However, I told him if he goes back to his old ways, I'm through. It's not what I want, but I'd do it if it would save him. He's so afraid that I'll leave, and it's probably not right or ethical, but it's the only bargaining chip I have to keep him sober. So, you have to see that I'll do anything for him. No matter what it costs me."

He nodded and looked back over at Edward and Emmett. I knew that the conversation was over, and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it. I was tired, so fucking tired, of feeling like I had to justify my actions. They'd done less than I had over the years and had given up long before I'd decided to get out. In a way, I was offended that they were demanding I prove myself to them. When were they going to do the same? Edward deserved it, if nothing else.

The talk had left me cold, and I didn't feel like anything had been resolved. I needed to speak with Emmett to see what our next step should be. If I left it up to Carlisle and Esme to decide when it was time for Edward to move out, then I'd be waiting forever. They'd want me to explain myself until I was blue in the face, and it seemed like it was just another way to stall.

Emmett was still arguing with the foreman, starting to get louder by the second. Carlisle pushed off the wall and walked over to the pair. He started to try and diffuse the situation.

Edward came over to where I was standing and crossed his arms.

"So, what did he want?" he asked.

I rubbed my hand over my face. "An ironclad promise I won't disappear."

"Fuck," Edward muttered, beginning to walk away.

I grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him back to me. "Don't. Just let it go."

He blew out a harsh breath. "I'm tired of them meddling in my life. If I wanted their help, I'd ask for it."

"It's not like I don't deserve it."

Edward stared at me. "From what I understand about that night, you had every right to tell me to go fuck myself."

"Edward—"

He grimaced and shook his head.

"You should have left me. You didn't, though, and I still don't understand why. They have no right to ask you about it, because it has nothing to do with them. It's between you and me, and no one else. I'm not upset about it, so they're not entitled to answers."

I smiled. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"

"Probably, but I don't remember. You should say it again, just to be sure," he teased.

I reached up on my toes and kissed his lips. "I love you…so much."

"I love you, too," he said, resting his forehead on mine.

A/N:

So, what did you think of Carlisle?

I just thought I'd let everyone know that we are coming to the end. I've outlined the rest of the story, and if everything works out as planned, there will be four chapters after this one. I could probably write about these two forever, but I felt like we're coming to the natural end. I do want to thank each and everyone for reading. You guys continue to amaze me.