サンセットゴースト

Sunset Ghost

エピローグ

Breathing... I can hear it. But why does it sound so far away?

Hinata felt like he was floating on his back in deep water, but everything around him was pitch black, like his eyes were covered by thick fabric. He was slowly sinking, as if he were stuck in a batch of tar or molasses, but he could feel nothing aside from that.

It's dark here... Where am I?

His brain was fuzzy, like it was covered in a thick shroud of cotton. Thoughts were the only clear things in the indistinct, bleak darkness.

Wasn't I doing something before? Something important…

Snippets of sounds echoed out of the endless space around him, and Hinata could feel a distant tug, as if someone were pulling on his arm, but it was faint and weak. Something wet splashed against his face over and over again, and he could hear a familiar voice. He wasn't able to make out any of the words or recall the speaker's name, but he felt like he should know it well.

Who's crying? My chest hurts, like it's being crushed.

For some reason, Hinata's heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his rib-cage. Everything hurt: not physically, but emotionally, almost like a panic attack. But why would he be panicking? Because he was... dying?

Am I really dying? But I don't want to go yet…

A thought lingered at the back of his mind; something very important, although he couldn't seem to grasp it. Hinata knew he couldn't—didn't want to—die, but... wasn't he dead already? What was so important? What filled him with this crushing feeling of loss? What made him so desperately want to stay?

I don't want to leave him. I need to stay for... for...

"Tobio!" Hinata woke suddenly with the name burning on his tongue, gasping for air with his shirt stuck to his sweaty chest like a second skin.

For the longest moment, he sat there, swimming in anguish and overwhelmed by harsh emotions; hand still reaching out for the shadow of a memory that was starting to slip away. Kageyama... How could I ever forget him?

As his eyes marginally adjusted to the harsh sunlight streaming through the window and his wits slowly returned, Hinata buried his head in his hands and took several slow, shaky breaths in an attempt to quiet his racing heart. Those last few moments had been plaguing his dreams recently: The vestiges of his old life, when he'd died for the second and last time.

He could still remember every detail about it: The days spent with Yachi and Kageyama in Madoka's shop, the constant scolding of the annoyed psychic, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Suga, the sunsets, the wake-up calls, the exact shade of Kageyama's eyes: the end, the beginning—everything.

And sometimes, he wished he could forget it all.

Every time he remembered Kageyama's heart-wrenching expression when he'd opened his eyes for the last time and kissed him goodbye—said his name like it broke him—a small piece of his heart felt like it was being torn out; ripped from his chest with so much force, his body shattered like glass.

Tobio. His chest hurt unbearably even thinking his name—remembering the sound of his laugh, which was oddly beautiful—or the rare few times he had ever really smiled. It had been clumsy and a little awkward, but happiness had made his eyes shine like starlight.

Hinata would give anything to see him wearing that cheerful, carefree expression again: to see him at all.

The memories were painful, but to forget them would be to forget him, which was the one promise Hinata would never, ever break. But because of that, he was constantly plagued with the waves of emotion that came with remembering him—and the questions he hated to ask himself every time he was alone and his mind wandered back to Kageyama.

Are you even there?

Hinata closed his eyes as he felt familiar tears sting them and turned to face the wall, hugging his pillow to his chest and hoping he could fall back asleep—though he'd gone through this enough times to know that was impossible.

I miss you so, so much...

He squeezed the pillow tighter as the tears soaked into the fabric of his comforter, flowing down his face like a tap that wouldn't turn off.

Are you here in this world with me again? How long will I have to stay without you?

"Tobio"—he dared to say his name aloud, just once, even though it was a torture for him—"where are you?"

Kageyama found himself born into the same life as before.

Everything was identical: His parents, his house, where he grew up, what schools he attended—even volleyball was the same. But... this world wasn't really his.

He had retained his memories from before—of Yachi, Madoka, and Hinata: of everything. Kageyama had even tried to use his psychic powers, but they wouldn't work. It seemed, in all aspects, that this world was the normal one he had expected to grow up in before that fateful August night, which seemed so far away after being reborn.

In this world, he was ordinary: In this world, Hinata was nowhere to be found.

Kageyama had, in desperation, even gone to visit his gravestone once, but when he reached the cemetery, it was no longer there—which was no surprise, really. It only cemented Kageyama's theory that this was the same life he'd lived before, only without psychics and, most importantly, without Hinata.

But that was unacceptable.

I'll find you someday, Kageyama Tobio: even if it takes me a thousand lifetimes to do it. I promise you. That's what he had said before.

Kageyama wanted, more than anything, to believe him; to believe that they could truly reunite and live—really live—together this time... but what was he supposed to do? Everything was different now. Yachi, Madoka, Suga, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi—no one was around anymore, and no one could help him find his lost love again.

Whenever he closed his eyes, Kageyama could still remember their kiss; their final goodbye. That was the one memory he couldn't stand to relive, not because he hated it, but because he loved it too much. Kageyama feared he would never be able to live through it ever again—to feel the sensation of Hinata's skin underneath his fingers, or his cool breath against his neck.

Most people only had to lose their love once: He'd lost his more than anyone.

Falling in love with a ghost was like living in a state of constant yearning, and when Hinata disappeared, it had deepened the wound even further. And after that, he had to be reborn and live with the knowledge that his love may not even exist in this world? It was a cruel punishment.

What kind of a life was that, to live in constant pain? Kageyama wanted to be mad, but all he could do was cry silently in his room night after night as the memories stabbed at him with their sharp claws, tearing his heart into a shredded mess of broken memories and whispered pleas.

Please come back to me, Shōyō... You promised.

When the weekend arrived, Hinata boarded a train to Iwate Prefecture. His parents were going on a couples retreat, so he and Natsu were visiting his aunt and uncle in Kamaishi and would be staying with them for a week. Although Hinata didn't really like traveling all that much, he was relieved to be getting a change of scenery. Maybe having some fun would keep his mind off Kageyama for a while—if that was even possible.

"Nii-chan, we're gonna go to the beach, right?" Natsu asked excitedly from beside him, staring out the train window and bouncing up and down in her seat. "Remember when we went to Sanriku Coast?"

Hinata rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help let a little smile slip at her antics. "That was in August, Natsu-chan: it's way too cold out right now for swimming. We can go shopping or visit Rokando instead."

Natsu pouted, but brightened up quickly in no time, pointing out the window excitedly. "Look, we're here, we're here!" She pressed her face up against the glass as they entered the station and squealed. "Look, there's Obasan and Ojisan!"

Hinata pulled her back by the collar with a stern huff. "You'll bump your head like that. Come on, let's go greet them." He took her by the hand to keep her from running ahead as they exited the train among the huge throngs of people, meeting their aunt and uncle by the station map.

The four of them exchanged basic greetings before heading outside, where a car was already waiting.

As they headed away from the train station and into town, Hinata stared out the window at the ocean and smiled. It was prettier than he remembered. Birds were flying overhead and the sun had begun to set in the west, painting the sea a vibrant mix of orange and red as ships floated into Kamaishi Bay.

Hinata rested his head against the window and closed his eyes. It felt so peaceful there, for some reason; as if the air itself were soothing him.

It was almost too easy to drift off into a sleep that was, for once, dreamless.

"Hey, Tobio-chan, do you want to go to the beach this weekend?"

Kageyama glanced up from his glass of milk and raised an eyebrow at the sudden question. "The beach? Why?"

His mother put down her own drink and smiled excitedly. "Well, we only just moved here, and I've been dying to go! We could get some great pictures!"

Kageyama sighed. "I guess I'll go... When?"

"How about... tomorrow? We can go right after breakfast."

"Sure, that's fine."

It wasn't like Kageyama was dying to go to the beach in forty degree weather, but his mom had always been the sightseeing type, and since the whole reason they'd moved to Kamaishi in the first place was for a change of scenery, he supposed it couldn't be helped. Besides, he could go running while she sight-saw herself out.

"Excellent! This will be so much fun!" She ran off, no doubt to talk to Kageyama's dad about the trip, leaving him alone at the table to finish his milk in silence.

The setting sun was shining in through the kitchen window, nearly blinding him with its brightness. Sunsets never failed to remind him of Hinata, but everything did, really: That was a side-effect of being in love.

Shaking off the nostalgia, Kageyama downed the last of his milk in one gulp and sighed, resting his forehead on the cool tabletop and closing his eyes, imagining the feeling of Hinata's forehead against his. He'd been feeling unusually fatigued all day, and being tired only made the feeling of loneliness worse.

I miss you, dumbass. You'd better keep your promise and come find me quickly...

Hinata woke in the morning to Natsu bouncing up and down on his chest, bruising several of his ribs in her not-so-gentle attempts to rouse him. "Owww, what the heck?! Natsu-chan, get off me!"

She ignored him in typical little-sister style and tugged on his blanket persistently. "Come on, get up, we're going to the beach!"

"Now?" he groaned. "I just woke up! Can't it wait?"

"No way!" She bounced on him three more times for good measure before flopping onto the floor and running off down the hallway like a little orange whirlwind. "You better be ready or we'll leave without you!"

Hinata drug himself out of bed irritably after her crazed departure and got dressed, cursing Natsu the whole time. Whose bright idea was it to go the beach at eight in the morning, anyway? He could've slept in for at least another hour, but now here he was, pulling on sweatpants and then being dragged down the hall and out of the house by a bouncy, giggly Natsu.

The whole car ride, Hinata kept muttering to himself, staring out the window and trying to wake himself up. It was overcast outside, and the sun was covered by a sheet of thick gray clouds. Not exactly the best weather, but at least they weren't swimming.

By the time they finally arrived at the beach, Hinata felt a little bit better and allowed Natsu to pull him down the path with little complaint.

They kicked off their shoes and ran around in the sand, laughing and kicking up water at each other. There didn't seem to be many others out. There were a few people here and there, but the place was still relatively peaceful and quiet. It felt calming, somehow.

After a while of roughhousing and goofing off, Hinata paused to take a breath and decided to go for a walk. "Natsu-chan, I'm going off by myself for a while, okay? Look for shells."

As she nodded and ran off enthusiastically, Hinata pulled up his sweatshirt hood and started off down the beach slowly, kicking his feet through the sand. Glancing up at the sky, he faintly thought it looked like it might rain. The clouds were turning a darker gray, and the air was becoming damp and clammy.

What a shame... He hated the rain.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

Oblivious, Hinata glanced downward again at the sudden exclamation—right in time to smack face-first into a stranger's chest, knocking them both straight over into the freezing cold water in a tangle of limbs.

Kageyama's first reaction was anger at this spacey idiot running into him, then shock as the icy cold water soaked him from head to toe. He dragged himself onto the sand as quickly as possible with a gasp, struggling to see through the wet mop of black hair now covering his eyes.

"Gah, you stupid—! Who the hell walks without looking where—" He paused in his spluttering reprimand to cough, spitting salty water out of his mouth with disgust.

This is what he got for going to the beach in April—although apparently his family hadn't been the only ones crazy enough to do so. The mystery idiot was still choking on water nearby, soaking wet hood sagging over his head, completely covering his face. He started shivering and Kageyama heard his teeth chattering loudly as he began wringing out his clothes.

Kageyama clicked his tongue in annoyance and pulled off his sweatshirt, setting it out on the sand as he pulled off his shoes and poured water out of them. "Geez..." They would need some serious maintenance when he got home.

As he pulled off his socks, the stranger got up and stammered out an apology through still-chattering teeth and coughs. "I-I-I'm so-sorry, I d-d-didn't see y-you." He stumbled closer, face still obstructed by the soggy sweatshirt, and held out a tiny hand feebly. "Here, l-let me h-help y-you u—uppp!"

He tripped over one of Kageyama's shoes and landed hard on his chest, taking them both down again and knocking the breath out of him.

"Okay, seriously, you need to stop falling on—"

His breath was abruptly sucked away again as Kageyama's eyes met a pair of startled, familiar chocolate irises. The hood had been dislodged in the fall, and now orange locks spilled out over a pale forehead like cresting ocean waves, which was fitting: Kageyama felt distinctly like he was drowning.

It was like he was choking on water all over again as he struggled to speak. "Sh— Shōyō?!"

"Tobio?" Shocked brown eyes stared down at him and it was his eyes—his voice. "Is it... is it r-really you?"

Kageyama let out a loud, bright, stupid laugh and gripped him by the shoulders, pushing them both to a sitting position. "Is it really me? Is it really you?!" He felt tears threatening to fall and quickly buried his face in the crook of Hinata's neck to hide them. Beneath the smell of the ocean, there was the faintest whiff of vanilla: it was his scent, unmistakably. "It is you, right?"

"It's— it's me." Hinata let out something between a sob and a laugh, throwing his arms around him and squeezing like his life depended on it.

Kageyama held him and nuzzled into his shirt. "Of course... this kind of reunion could only happen with a dumbass like you." He hugged him tighter and listened carefully to his heartbeat; flighty and fast, but real. And even though a hug can't last forever, Kageyama felt every lost hour, day, month, and year conveyed in Hinata's arms as they squeezed him; in his tears as he laughed and cried. He couldn't think; couldn't breathe.

After so long of waiting, of searching, all of his memories collided in the living, breathing reality of Hinata Shōyō. It was the most spectacular thing he'd ever experienced, like finally fitting in the last piece of an endless puzzle. The world was crashing down all around them like broken shards of glass, letting golden light shine through like a beacon, overtaking the dull gray sunlight like a tidal wave.

He was living. He was dying. He was everything when he was with Hinata.

Kageyama couldn't stop saying his name, so many times it started to sound like something else entirely. "Shōyō, Shōyō, Shōyō, Shōyō..." He whispered it repetitively into orange curls until his throat dried up, and then he said it again; making up for too much lost time and too many wasted words. "It's you, it's really you..."

Hinata pulled back to look at him, face a mix of joy, shock, and disbelief. "I've been searching for you for so long... I thought I'd never find you again." He ran shaking hands through Kageyama's hair and let out a hoarse exhalation, looking like he was about to break down again. "Are you... really real?"

Feeling like his heart was about to burst apart, Kageyama brushed his thumb across the redhead's cheek gently, pressing their foreheads together to feel Hinata's living warmth against his skin. "I promise you: I'm really real... and so is this."

He brushed his damp hair aside and kissed him, almost desperately, pulling him as close as possible to savor the feeling of their closeness and Hinata's heartbeat underneath his fingertips.

When you trip, there's a sensation you experience right before hitting the ground: A moment of complete weightlessness and inevitability, knowing that you're going to fall, but there's nothing you can do about it. That was exactly what this was like.

Kageyama closed his eyes and took Hinata's hand, embracing every sensation and basking in the aching familiarity of his touch. He was warm underneath his fingers; alive and real. At that moment, Kageyama could care less about the cold or the wet clothes: Hinata was all he needed. Living, breathing Hinata: the real memory of his touch, sitting right there.

When the kiss inevitably ended, Kageyama felt disoriented, like he'd done a somersault underwater and come up facing the opposite direction. He stared down dumbly at Hinata's half-closed eyes and parted lips, utterly dazed, synapses firing at 1000% to process the shock of every sensation, psychical and emotional, the boy made him feel.

He still had trouble comprehending that Hinata was there—real, alive Hinata, who he could kiss and touch and hold as many times as he wanted now.

It was almost too much to bear, but Kageyama supposed he'd have to get used to it at some point, and right now seemed like a pretty good time to start.

"Shōyō." He grabbed him by the back of the neck and bent down to kiss him again before the momentum of emotion was lost. Sparks flew behind his eyelids again, and Kageyama embraced the burning sensation like it was a long-lost friend. He faintly wondered if this was what it felt like to be on fire.

If it is, I'd burn with him forever.

As he pulled away Kageyama couldn't help but smile as he held Hinata to him and rejoiced in the gentle, merging rhythm of their heartbeats.

The redhead was laughing softly against his shoulder. "You kissed me. Twice."

"Yeah, and I'll do it again," he murmured, pulling back to meet his eyes.

Hinata flushed a pleasant shade of pink. "R-really?"

"As many times as you want: so many you won't be able to stand me." He pressed their foreheads together again with an idiotic, delighted grin. "I really love you, Shōyō. I love you. So, so much..."

Hinata squeezed his hand. "I love you, too." A final, conclusive tear slid down his cheek. "More than I can bear."

A/N: I switched perspectives back and forth for the epilogue: I think it spiced it up a little. Do you guys still want to kill me? Hopefully not.

Anyway, I think I might want to do a sort of continuation of this, as in a series of oneshots where these nerds get used to being together again. If I decide to do it, you'll obviously see the new story, but until then, thanks for sticking to the story! Until next time~