Two days later, Jill was packed up and sitting in a wheelchair in the Gateroom, surrounded by other personnel who were also going home. She was complaining about the chair, a last minute addition that Carson had insisted upon, but John could see that her complaints veiled a genuine distress at leaving the place she had come to call home. He sidled up to her and lowered his voice. "You can always change your mind, you know."

She glanced down at her hands, which were twisting in her lap. Her own voice was quiet as she replied. "No, I can't."

He nodded, and made to walk away, but she grabbed his hand. "John…I wanted to thank you. For understanding."

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Anytime." With that promise, he ascended the steps to the Control Room. "Dial it up."

The Gate began to light up behind her and Jill looked at the friends she had made in Atlantis. Rodney looked slightly nervous as he came up to her. "Uh, well, good luck and all that. I thought you should know, we figured out how the Narech were able to make the ruins appear when they weren't really there. They were actually projecting a 3D image that coincided with the layout of their ship, so when Ronon was in the ruins, he was actually on the ship, he just didn't realize it. It's actually a fascinating bit of technology when you think about it…"

He faded off, realizing that this probably wasn't the most appropriate place to talk about this.

"When I get back, we can figure out how to duplicate it." Jill extended her hand, and Rodney hesitated before gripping it in his own, smiling slightly and nodding his acceptance of her offer.

Teyla and Ronon were next. She bent her head to meet Teyla's and then hugged the woman, who was slightly taken off guard before enfolding her own arms around Jill. "May the Ancestors guide you on your path." Ronon extended his own hand, and she grasped it in Satedan warrior fashion. "Bring some more weapons when you come back." Jill grinned and promised to do so.

Elizabeth moved forward next, and gave Jill a small hug. "Don't be too long." Jill nodded her thanks.

She said goodbye to Marcus and Radek and then looked at the lone figure left beside the stairs. Carson slowly walked toward her, and everyone else gave each other a knowing look before maneuvering away.

The Scot knelt before her, taking her hands in his. "I wish I could go with you, lass."

"Don't trust Earth doctors?" Jill asked mockingly, but there was a slight catch in her voice, and she was looking everywhere but at Carson.

He took her chin in his hand, forcing her eyes to meet his own. "Take care of yourself. And hurry back to me."

Jill nodded, a slow, small tear trickling down her face. "I love you."

Carson brushed away the tear with his thumb. "I know."

Jill smiled through the tears that were filling her eyes. "Be safe."

Carson nodded, and then pulled her face to his, their lips meeting with passion and fire. It was a few minutes before Carson pulled away, barely acknowledging the whistles from the marines and the cheering scientists.

Jill laughed and oriented herself to the Gate. She looked back once before she went through. "I'll tell your mum you said hello."

Then she was gone.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Carson wandered the halls of Atlantis, at a loss as to what to do with himself. Normally, he would be eating dinner with Jill or walking with Jill or doing any number of things with Jill. But Jill was gone, at least for a little while, and he was stuck on his own.

He made his way to the commissary, not because he was hungry, but because there were usually people there and he didn't feel like being alone at the moment. He hesitated in the doorway, scanning the small crowd for a familiar face. Having treated most of the expedition at one time or another, he knew most of the people there, but he was hoping for more sympathy than the marines could give and less sympathy than the scientists would want to give.

His eyes lit on the corner, and he smiled slightly and headed in that direction. He snagged an apple before sitting across from the only person who would have a clue as to how he was feeling.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, Colonel."

John looked up from the files he had been reading, shaking his head. "Not at all. Actually, I've been making bets about how long it would take everyone to get here. I figured you'd be first."

Carson grinned. "Care to make a wager that Teyla and Ronon are next?"

"First pick at the next movie night says Teyla will walk through the door first."

"Done."

John went back to his reports, and Carson finished his apple, both glancing at the door from time to time.

Ten minutes later, Carson laughed and slapped John on the arm, pointing at the door. Ronon was standing there, an evil grin on his face as two new marines tried to edge past him.

John rolled his eyes and stood, catching Ronon's attention and waving him over. Carson was laughing uncontrollably, and when Ronon asked why, John simply replied, "We'll be watching Braveheart at the next movie night. For the fifth time."

Carson grinned smugly at John before turning back to Ronon. "Where's Teyla?"

"She's dropping stuff off in her room." Ronon scratched his head. "Why do people keep asking me that?"

This time, John was laughing as well and Ronon just shrugged, still confused, but willing to consider their behavior as something peculiar to earth-people.

There were more jokes when Teyla arrived, and then they had to explain everything to Rodney when he straggled in a few minutes later. They had to wait a bit longer for Elizabeth, but they kept themselves occupied with stories and attracted more than a few stares from the other expedition members.

Carson surveyed his friends as they greeted Elizabeth. Life had changed a lot in the past few weeks, but their camaraderie, their spirit had not changed, but had grown stronger. Carson was grateful for their support, and he knew he would always be able to count on them, but he couldn't help but feel that a huge part of his life was now missing. Jill had been more than a link to his home; she was his guide, his life, and without her there, he wasn't quite sure what to do.

"Hey Doc! Tell Elizabeth that story about Jill and the pissed Brahms."

John's voice broke into Carson's reverie. Carson laughed, and silently thanked John for bringing him back into the group conversation without mentioning his previous silence. He saw the confusion on Elizabeth's face, and the expectant looks of Teyla and Ronon, and he began to launch into the tale, trying to be as animated as Jill had been.

It wasn't as good as having her there. But it was better than nothing.

o0o

AN: No notes. Just REVIEW! I need some encouragement to keep writing.