Detective Edgeworth was relieved from the stand.
"I'd like to call my next witness, Your Honor," Prosecutor Butz said. "A woman who saw the entire crime happen right before her eyes."
"Very well, bring her to the stand," the judge said.
April May strut into the courtroom. All eyes were on her as she walked over to the witness stand. She winked to no one in particular, but just about every man in the gallery seemed to think she was looking at him.
"Name and occupation?" Larry said, completely unfazed.
"April May. I'm a secretary," April said. She stuck her tongue out in a cutesy, puppy dog fashion.
Dahlia ground her teeth. Phoenix noticed and shuffled away. He handed her a copy of the autopsy report. She swiped it away and tore it in half. Phoenix's eyes widened. The plan had been for her to vent trying to rip the manila envelope with a short stack of documents inside. She wasn't supposed to succeed.
"You have another copy, right?" Dahlia said.
Phoenix spluttered. "Uh, of course."
She smacked him with half of the autopsy report.
"Anyway," Larry said. "Ms. May, you saw the murder that took place did you not?"
"I did," April said. "It was super scary!"
"Tell us what you saw," Larry said.
"Okay," April said.
Testimony
Let's see, I was at the mall that day clothes shopping.
I was just about to take the escalator down when I heard this guy yelling.
When I turned my head, I saw a man some kind of uniform and a girl.
She was kind of scrawny-looking, but the gun she had made her really scary!
Then she shot the man in the head!
"That must have been quite the frightful experience," the judge said.
April rubbed her hands under her eyes. "It was! But I felt so much better when the police came! My life could have been in danger if it weren't for them and that cool prosecutor."
April smiled at Larry, who showed absolutely no emotion whatsoever. She frowned.
"Your Honor, may I begin my cross-examination?" Dahlia said.
"Of course," the judge said.
"Alright," she whispered to herself. "Time to rip this testimony to shreds."
"Not too many shreds, okay?" Phoenix said. He was busy taping the autopsy report back to together.
Cross-Examination
Let's see, I was at the mall that day clothes shopping.
I was just about to take the escalator down when I heard this guy yelling.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "Was it the victim?"
"Yep," April said. "He was all 'Someone help! PLEEEEEEASSE!' stuff like that."
When I turned my head, I saw a man some kind of uniform and a girl.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "Describe this girl for me. What did she look like?"
April tapped her chin, pondering her answer.
This must be really taxing for that little head of hers.
She was kind of scrawny-looking, but the gun she had made her really scary!
"Hold it!"
Dahlia looked around to see who had said that, for it wasn't her. Her eyes fell on Kay.
"Scrawny?" Kay said indignantly.
April showed off her chest, stretching the limits of her jacket. "Sorry."
Dahlia pounded her desk. "Ms. May, please stop flaunting around the courtroom and behave like an adult!"
"I think I'm behaving very much like an adult," April said.
"Allow me to rephrase that," Dahlia said. "Behave like a responsible adult who understands that they are in a courtroom testifying about someone dying."
"Shut up!" April said, twitching. "Oooh, you're just jealous aren't you? Don't be so mean!"
"I'm mean?" Dahlia said. "I'm not the one picking on a girl! Newsflash, she's not even an adult! Even then girls don't have to show themselves off like that!"
The judge didn't have the guts to tell the women to stop fighting. Phoenix swallowed and broke into a cold sweat. He looked at Larry, his last resort it seemed. The prosecutor shifted uncomfortably. The aura of hate and loathing emanating from the two women kept everyone in an uncomfortable silence. Except for Dahlia and April, that is.
"Just shut up you lawyer!" April said.
"Is 'lawyer' the best insult you can think of?" Dahlia said. "That 'handsome' fop over there is a lawyer too, you know! Right Butz?"
"Um, well, yes," Larry said, looking a bit pale. He pointed at Phoenix. "Uh, just talk to your assistant!"
"Traitor! Don't drag me into this!" Phoenix said.
"You're the co-council!" Larry said. He looked at Dahlia. "He would probably have a better understanding of all this girl stuff than me anyway."
"19-1-25-19 space 20-8-5 space 7-21-25 space 23-8-15 space 23-5-14-21 space 9-14-21-15 space 21-8-5 space 7-9-18-12-19 space 2-1-21-8-18-15-15-13!" Phoenix retaliated.
"Enough with the code!" Dahlia said. "Now you're just asking to get hit! What the heck are you saying anyway?"
Phoenix whispered into Dahlia's ear. She smirked at the prosecutor who was getting paler by the second. "Really Butz?"
"Can we just get back to the cross-examination now?" Larry said. "I think we've strayed far off topic. What was it you were saying, Ms. May?"
"Well, I saw the defendant take a gun out," April said, back to her sickeningly sweet fluffy talk.
Then she shot the man in the head!
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes," April said. "She took a gun out and shot him, just like that!"
"Where were they?" Dahlia said. "The victim and defendant, that is. Sorry if I confused you for a second."
"Ooooongh," April said. "They were by the escalator, okay? About 10 feet apart from each other."
"Your Honor, I would like that added to the testimony!" Dahlia said.
"Alright," the judge said. He was not about to say no when she had that fire in her eyes.
She shot the man from about 10 feet away.
"Objection!" Dahlia said. "That's impossible!"
"No it's not!" April said. "You're just saying that because you're on that girl's side."
"Actually, I said that because I have this!" Dahlia held up the autopsy report, taped back together. The top half bent over slightly. "According to the autopsy report, the victim was shot from up close! Not 10 feet away!"
"Huh?" April said.
"How do you explain this?" Dahlia said, pounding her desk.
"Uh, oops," April said. "Must have made a mistake."
"I don't think so," Dahlia said. "Something else about your testimony has been bugging me. Despite claiming to have seen everything that transpired, you have never mentioned the victim being strangled!"
"He was strangled too?" April said.
"Did you even see the murder take place?" Dahlia said.
"Of course I did!" April said. "I just made a mistake, that's all."
"10 feet vs. less than 3 feet is a pretty big mistake!" Dahlia said.
"Objection!" Larry said. "The witness did see a murder happen right in front of her. I say we give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her to testify again."
Dahlia huffed. "But…"
"You're kind of done with testimony anyway, aren't you?" Phoenix said. "Maybe the next one will give you more ammo."
Dahlia sighed. "I guess if anyone could make a mistake like that it's the witness."
April twitched. "So you want me to talk about everything else I know?"
I need more to cross-examine than that. Dahlia put her hands in her pockets.
"Perhaps you could testify about what happened after the crime?" Larry said.
"You got it," April said, winking at Larry.
19-1-25-19 space 20-8-5 space 7-21-25 space 23-8-15 space 23-5-14-20 space 9-14-20-15 space 20-8-5 space 7-9-18-12-19 space 2-1-21-8-18-15-15-13! = Says the guy who went into the girls bathroom!