Beauty is Scarred Deep
By
Supesympathizer
Reprieve
Alcide was pacing, back and forth across slabs of concrete walkway outside of what used to be the colorfully eclectic, Moon Goddess Emporium in downtown Shreveport. The building was purchased three months ago by the old seer, Paris, who swiftly employed Herveaux Construction in converting the old building into three smaller units. In the span of two months, the renovations were complete and business tenants were already secured, bringing commerce and breathing life into the quietest corner of town.
The far left side of the building was a bakery cafe, featuring handcrafted cakes, pastries, artisan breads, sweet and savory scones, muffins, cookies, and bars. The fragrant aroma alone, seemed to draw people from all over the parish. Three bistro styled tables adorned the store front and as usual, there was a steady stream of customers, trickling in and out. On the far right, a gallery occupied the largest space, where local artists could display consignment pieces in which the owner/curator only collected ten percent. It proved to be an attraction for collectors and a relatively decent livelihood for any up and coming starving artist.
Then, dead smack in the middle, tiny missed matched painted letters against large tinted windows indicated the shop name- "The Gris".
Going by the large chalkboard apron sign on the walkway, it was still an emporium of sorts, offering dried herbs, pendants, incense, natural soy candles, and the occasional palm and tarot reading. Through the grayish blue tinted windows, Alcide could see how impeccably organized and clean it was inside. There was a counter space; the largest mortar and pestle he's ever seen sitting on one end, while brown paper bags and a register occupied the other. Behind the counter was an espresso colored shelving system against a freshly painted white wall, with uniformly sized and spaced glass jars, filled to the brim with herbs.
Along another pristine white wall, there were three espresso tinted cork boards lined up from floor to ceiling, respectively marked by the words-pendants, amulets, and charms in the same missed matched lettering. The other half of that wall had incense sticks and cones, their respective ashtrays and burners, again organized by the same espresso shelving system. The back wall looked like a candle making station of sorts; another counter with a couple of wax melting pits on one end, plenty of workspace in the middle, and a built in sink on the other end. Behind the counter on the wall, another shelving system had jars of essential oils and scents lined up -alphabetically he was sure- and already made candles were stacked neatly by fragrance.
Alcide paused at the walkway leading up to the door, unable to make the five steps necessary to enter. The whole goddamn shop looked welcoming- free of any clutter or chaos, so unlike his insides, currently warring with want, need, and better judgement.
It has been 121 days since Alcide last saw Jannalyn. And if he wanted, he could probably estimate the time down to hours and minutes, but he didn't, because if he did, the hours and minutes were a bit more excruciating. Recurring dreams- nightmares with disturbing scenarios- plagued him.
In one dream, Alcide would be searching...nose to the ground, searching high and low, going in circles it seemed. Eventually, Alcide would find Jan in a dark cave, half eaten, atop a massive pile of discarded bones. Horrified gunmetal eyes were open every time, pleading with him to end her suffering, and the dream ends exactly the same way. Alcide checks her injuries, tries to determine if there was a chance of survival until he sees her legs, the muscle stripped away revealing gnawed bone up to her hips. Alcide chokes on sobs and whispers his regrets as he jams a discarded antler point straight into her heart. The life fades from her eyes, then he wakes up, covered in sweat and bawling in grief.
She will have his children.
In the second recurring dream, it would start off with Alcide and Jan enjoying something domestic. Alcide learning to flip burgers at a cookout, as Jan supervised. Breakfast at the Delacroix household where she took the second helping of food, directly after him. A stroll down Main Street, holding hands, bumping shoulders as they teased one another. And just as Alcide decided he was truly happy in these REM state domestic scenarios, the dream would take a dark turn. The tiger would show up, out of thin air, issuing a challenge to the death. The ensuing fight would be brutal from both sides and when Alcide thought he had the upper hand, a fatal blow from the tiger always proved he was outmatched. Too slow. Too weak. But it wasn't his own violent death that stole his breath away and abruptly woke him out of slumber. It was the casual way she smiled as the tiger took her hand in his, the two disappearing into the wilderness without a second glance.
It killed him, because in both recurring dreams he was losing her. Either way, he lost.
Alcide wanted to cry, right there on the sidewalk, because Christ he was tired. He could only avoid sleep for so long and even though he needed sleep, some sick twisted part of him needed to see her, even if it meant seeing the grotesque remains of her. Even if it meant seeing her with another. So lately, all he could do was distract himself with idle and trivial tasks...remember her and forget her, all at once.
Alcide tried to forget. God, he tried. But whoring it up with Ricki and Danielle the last couple of weeks didn't help. If anything, fucking them until he was raw and exhausted made everything worse. He felt dirty afterwards, guilty like he'd committed a crime, especially when both women pressed for a degree of reciprocation on his part. They wanted exclusivity, happy to share a bed and whatever debauchery and filthly kink he came up with, in all ways, at the same time. Most wolves would jump at the chance for a permanent polyamorous relationship and even though Alcide had enjoyed watching them eat each other out then sticking his dick down Danielle's throat after it had been in Ricki's ass, he didn't really want either woman. They were distractions from her. And feeling that way made Alcide sad, then it made him angry. Because he wasn't hers and she damn sure wasn't his and she was probably making her first child with the tiger right now.
The thought of her having wild feral sex with the tiger, then birthing plump infants, making a family...it hurt and Alcide never felt more alone in his life, regardless of company.
Still rooted to the same spot, Alcide tore his red rimmed eyes away from the door and trekked back to his truck. Was it ridiculous that Alcide hoped the Seer would see their paths crossing again? He slammed the door in frustration, then pressed his forehead to the steering wheel. God, he was a mess. He was sure he looked like one. Inadvertently, his eyes drifted over the radio display to the time. He only had two hours to spare before baby Anthony needed to be picked from the sitters. Abby would murder him if he didn't pick up his nephew on time, so he reached for the keys in the ignition, prepared to leave. A doorway chime caught his attention, then the clearing of one's throat. "You okay, Mister?"
Alcide's head turned towards the sound and only saw the olive skinned forehead and hazel eyes of a young boy, peering in through the passenger side window. "Boy, you shouldn't talk to strangers."
"But you're not a stranger. You're Emma's bossman and I'm her Theo." A scrawny arm reached in for a handshake and instantly, Alcide hackles raised.
Her Theo. Emma was too damned young, a baby still in his eyes, to be throwing around possessives. In the last few months, whenever Theo was brought up, Emma would find a way to announce that "he's my bestfriend", but Alcide and the pack could feel the unspoken claim, that my really meant mine. As innocent as it was, it still makes the adults uneasy as fuck to hear it as often as Emma proclaims it, but as wolves and as pack mates, they understood the need, the instinct to claim. They did not encourage or discourage, as it may be a passing phase, therefore, they only guided the pup's focus elsewhere, to rated G safe topics, like cartoons and toys.
Sam Merlotte was another story altogether, as his reaction was the standard dad issue- turning an unhealthy shade of purple, then threatening to break a scrawny bayou boy in half, if he so much as touched his baby girl. Emma didn't help matters, especially when she opened her smart little mouth, or lost her temper, so the word "grounded" soon became a weekly staple in the Merlotte household.
"You're her Theo, huh?" Alcide felt jealous again, because the little boy had a stronger claim than Alcide ever did, but he caught himself with a few deep breaths, then begrudgingly shook the boy's hand. "You her boyfriend or somethin'?"
Alcide watched as the tips of his ears turned bright red. "No. Papere says there no such thing as boyfriends. That a woman chooses her man. And I'm not a man yet."
"Sounds like your Grampa knows his stuff." Theo nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "How old are you, kid?" From what Alcide could see, Theo was only two inches taller than Emma, but managed to hold his own in a schoolyard brawl over the baby of the pack.
"Ten and a half." Theo said, straightening his back proudly, in the way that any child is proud as a peacock about half a year in age.
"Still got eight more years then, I reckon."
"Yeah," Theo whispered. His brows scrunched in thought. "But I keep dreaming she'll bite me...it hurts so bad..." he said, shuddering visibly. "Makes me wonder what I'll do that makes her so mad at me."
And the unease and ache in Alcide's chest burns hot and hollow, almost to the point of nausea. She almost bit him once, almost became his forever. Then Ricky and her crew showed up, ruined everything, and the distance between them became a chasm. The tiger...his arrival was the nudge that drove her away. And now he was fucking Ricki and Danielle on a nightly basis. It was wrong. Everything was wrong. His whole life was wrong.
But the kid looked sad. "Who bites you? Emma?" Tears were already formed in the kid's eyes as he nodded once. "You see like your Grampa?"
"Sometimes. In my dreams." The boy sniffled and Alcide couldn't stand it. This was just what he needed, an almost crying kid, heartbroken over an unknown future offense he has yet to make. Alcide reached over and patted the boy's head. "Hey. Hey, now. Dry that up and let's think. You see anything else after that? You were friends after, right?"
"Yeah," he furiously wiped at his eyes. "You were there, but your hair was shorter. Your beard was grayer. Papiere got really drunk." The pure concentration on the child's face, morphed into frustration then betrayal. "You both let her do it. Why would you let her bite me?"
Let her? Why the fuck would he let...
"Didn't say sorry, get in trouble, or nothing! Then it gets...We...do grown up stuff in front of a bunch of people."
Holy mutherfuckin hell. The boy just described a public mating ceremony. The truck was all of a sudden, too hot and too cramped and Alcide couldn't breathe again. He staggered out, composed himself by the hood for a minute, then strolled to the passenger side, where Theo was standing. The boy gulped as he approached, no doubt sensing a crazed supe approaching, so Alcide slowed his movements, checked his facial expression, then leaned down to eye level. "You're not in trouble, but we're gonna talk, alright?" The kid shook his head, looking slightly terrified. "Let's go grab a seat." The boy reluctantly sat on a bench, near The Gris windows. Alcide sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder and took a deep breath. "We're gonna talk about that...grown up stuff." The kid groaned in embarrassment and fidgeted a little, unconsciously moving a few inches away. "You know grown up stuff, is for grown ups, right? That you shouldn't do grown up stuff until you're a man."
"That's what I tell Emma in seven years. She doesn't speak to me for a week." Theo wanted to tell Emma's boss that he doesn't see everything yet, just tiny pieces of the future, like a trailer to a movie. Emma and Troy do grown up stuff that week and even though it's tempting to exact revenge by telling Emma's boss, Theo didn't want either to get in trouble for something they've yet to do. Besides, Emma cheating on him with Troy was something he couldn't and wouldn't change. Theo sees every excruciating detail of that event, but knows it has to happen. Emma won't know remorse or humility or the true meaning of loyalty until then.
Alcide covered his face and groaned into his hands. What the fuck? Little Emma? Making the first move? And this little boy tells her no? As teens? Alcide never thought he would need to protect the virtue of a boy until adulthood, but it seems he must, because one of his own, the baby wolf of his pack, would let her hormones cloud her brain, then would ghost out for solid week when she doesn't get her way. The disrespectful little shit. Not on his watch. With almost blinding clarity, Alcide realized a few things all at once.
Theo was a damn good kid, seeing more than he should, but still innocent.
Emma wouldn't always be.
And poor fucking Sam...he had his work cut out for him.
"Nine moons and she'll be back."
Alcide's head snapped over. "What did you say?"
"That's enough, Theo. Go inside an help your mother." It was Paris, standing a few feet away, having come up on the conversation after his daily stroll down Main. These two needed to talk, as Paris felt another respected man reiterating virtue would truly help his grandson stay in the light, but when Paris saw where the conversation was going, towards a vision blurring she-wolf, he made a beeline back to The Gris.
"But," Theo started.
"No. His questions aren't for you to answer." Alcide notice the words were gentle, but the way the old seer and Theo stared at each other, it was likely they were arguing with each other, in each other's heads. "We'll talk about the bite later, Theo. Say your farewells and get inside."
Sighing, Theo stood, all of four feet five inches rising from the bench. He stuck his hand out to Alcide again. Once their hands touched, Theo's hazel eyes turned sky blue. "Say no to the fairy." With one last look at his grandfather, who was now furious, the boy went inside, the door chiming then sliding shut.
"Now what is that supposed to mean?"
As soon as Theo was inside, the old man crumpled into the bench. Alcide caught the old man, before he completely toppled over and hurt himself. "You alright?"
"I could ask you the same." Paris studied Alcide's face, noting dark circles and red rimmed eyes, no doubt caused by the absence of the vision blurring she-wolf. Paris dreaded any questions the Packmaster might have about the fairy, so he avoided the topic."He's getting stronger by the day and it takes from me. Been taking from me since he was born."
Ahh. This must be the succession myth Julien spoke of, that a future Grand Guru is born and leaches power from the current Grand Guru until he dies. "How long?" Alcide simply asked and the old man smiled.
"He'll be twenty five. And our families will have a long history." His visions were more solid now, the future barely changing except for a few minor shifts of events. Alcide would live, and by default, so would Emma. Emma would accept Theo, so long as his grandson kept his virtue until Emma made a commitment. Then Theo would continue to live in the light and Samuel would be born. Paris couldn't see beyond his own death date, but the future of their Coven had never seem brighter. "Herveaux, I need help with something."
Alcide could barely help himself nowadays, but found himself nodding at the old man, welcoming another task, another purpose.
"That girl...too damn headstrong for her own good. Promise me, that you'll get in her ass about common respect. Theo will see what's coming, he'll know they'll be together all their lives, but she tests him, hurts him. Shield him from the pain and if you can't, lend an ear."
"You got it. He's a good kid, your grandson."
"And he was right. Nine moons. Say no to the fairy. Fare well, Herveaux." The Seer had gone inside to help customers and all Alcide could do was sit there, processing the words.
She's coming back. The woman who appeared, then disappeared, much like a hurricane, is coming back.