Christina's P.O.V.
When Michael returns home from the trial he finds me sitting on his bed waiting for him. By the slight change in his expression I can tell he is surprised to see me, but his over all demeanor remains downright glum. He is still in the pajamas he was forced to wear to court in the morning and over them he is wearing a black sport coat. His posture is hunched and his hair is a mess. He's far from his usual immaculately groomed self.
I know the question need not be asked, but I decide to ask anyway. "So… how'd it go?"
He shuffles towards me and hops on the bed putting his feet up. He sighs heavily.
"Awful. I was a spectacle out there today." he replies monotonously, looking straight ahead of him.
No matter how hard I wrack my brain I can't find any words to console him. Michael starts to weep softly, turning his face as if he were trying to hide the fact that he was crying.
"Now you see why I don't want you to come with me?"
"To be honest, I don't. I wish you would let me come. I feel so useless being stuck here and not being able to do anything."
"That's the thing, Christina. You couldn't do anything, anyway. It'd just be a million times worse."
"Worse? How would I make things worse?" I wrinkle my brow.
He turns toward me animatedly. "Look at me. I'm losing it! I don't want to be seen as weak. I don't want you to see me as weak. I'm tired of being stepped on." He makes a tight fist in frustration.
Turning towards him, I look him straight in the eye. "Michael, no one could call you weak. You're the strongest person I know."
"Yeah." He rolls his eyes. "Right."
"I'm not kidding. I don't know anyone who can handle all of this insanity, and handle it twice, and still be standing to keep on fighting."
"I've survived a lot of battles," he pauses and says softer than before, "but I don't know if I'll survive the war."
"You will, Michael. You will." Stroking his cheek where his tears had been falling a few moments earlier, I look deep into his big brown eyes. "Don't focus on the madness. People love you. Focus on them." His expression softens. After a few seconds that seemed to me like hours, I declare, "I love you."
Michael's P.O.V.
Aside from everything that has been going wrong in my life, there has always been a place in my heart for philanthropy. It's one of the few things aside from my own children that have kept me sane these past few years. The need to help others is something that has always been deeply engrained in me, into my very soul, and is what ultimately drove me to make the decision that I made today.
Christina and I look out of the windows of my second floor circular loft in my bedroom. In the three hundred sixty degree view, we can see a group of about one hundred people walk into the main train station, which is on the chief road that is closest to the house. From where we are, we can see them all very clearly; there are men women and children, most in summer clothes hopping up the steps of the train station and into the cars.
"There are so many people down there!" Christina notes. I nod my head, wishing I could be down there with them. "It was very nice of you to have them come," she continues.
"It's the least I could do. It's not their fault all that is happening." Considering the fact that the invitation to the Big Sister Club of Los Angeles had been sent out over a year ago, just the thought of letting these kids down breaks my heart.
"So what are they going to be doing today?" Christina asks.
"They're being given a tour of Neverland. They'll get to see the animals, go to the petting zoo, play games, go on the rides and have a meal. I'm trying to give them just one day of fun, a few hours where they can be happy and carefree until they have to go back to their reality."
"That is awesome." Christina pauses. "But it must get expensive after awhile, mustn't it? All the free games, candy, food, and all it takes to take care of the animals must cost a pretty penny."
"But it is so worth it, Christina." She nods in agreement and we watch as the last person boards the train. It starts to move slowly along the tracks.
After a few hours, Christina and I hop onto one of the white golf carts and head up the main road all the way to the other end of the ranch where the elephants and giraffes are held.
Christina's phone rings. Wait a minute; isn't her phone line is just for me? "Who is it," I ask curiously.
She shoves the phone back into her sweater pocket. "I… uh.. it's Jared."
Interesting. I would have liked to have asked her why the hell Jared was still calling her, but our cart approaches a sea of people. They turn and glance our way.
"Hello everyone," I stutter shyly as I get out of the cart. The crowd comes in closer. Everyone is smiling. Nervous, I feel my hands shaking a bit.
"Hi Michael," everyone responds in unison. Wondering if Christina is as nervous as I am, I turn to her, and to my surprise she doesn't look uneasy at all. I find her sunny eyes on me, her smile filling me with warmth. I feel her hand close upon mine and my heart flutters.
Christina's P.O.V.
Michael's words I don't want you to see me as weak, keep ringing through my mind. What he wants is support, whether he realizes it or not, and I realize that I've been going about things the wrong way. And since I have been relentless in my efforts to support him, he has softened towards me a great deal. I almost think he is trying to sacrifice us and what we had together for my sake. Maybe things had to happen this way for a reason. Who knows? I don't, that's for sure.
I've been waiting everyday for him in his room when he returns from trial. We do different things every day. Some days he wants to get his mind off of things, and others he wants to lay down in silence, but whatever he wants to do, we do together. Today I am thinking we could watch a movie. The new film "Finding Neverland" has just come out on DVD. I know Michael will love it; the Peter Pan story is the silhouette of his life. I don't mind seeing some Johnny Depp today myself. Smiling at that thought, I hide some candy and popcorn I have prepared under the bed to surprise Michael when my cell phone rings again.
I exhale. It's Jared again. It's been a while since I've talked to him, and he's probably worried, but I can't answer him now. Michael needs me. I wouldn't have a clue what to say to him anyway.
It's almost time for Michael to come home from trial, so after throwing my phone on the bed, I walk towards the window to see if the cars have arrived while singing the chorus of "Give in to Me" that happened to pop into my head at the moment.
"Please don't do that."
I whip around and see Michael bright red, cupping his hands to his face to cover laughter.
I whip my hand to my thumping heart. "Do what?"
"Sing!" he laughs.
"Well at least I made you smile, didn't I?" I can't help but laugh too. By the time he sits on the bed he hasn't stopped giggling.
"Why don't we change the subject, and watch a movie?"
"Okay," he laughs.
"Be quiet!" I demand, pushing play on the remote control.
"Oooh ´Finding Neverland´!"
I smile proudly. I knew he'd love it.
"But you know it's not a movie without popcorn and candy," he says as I hand him the popcorn and candy I had hidden skillfully under the bed.
"You had that under the bed?"
"Yep, ready and waiting for you!"
"And what if I had said I didn't want to watch a movie? What would you have done with all that stuff under the bed?" he jokes.
I shrug my shoulders. "Let it rot."
He laughs. "I guess I'll have to check under the bed more often!"
As the movie ends, my damn phone rings again. And as is just my luck, Michael is sitting right next to where I had thrown my phone earlier. And by his quickly souring face, I realized who is calling.
"Him again?" Michael accuses.
I blow a strand of hair out of my face. Grabbing the phone I press ignore. "I have no idea why he keeps calling."
"You really should have his number blocked," he suggests, rolling his eyes.
I don't know how I feel about pushing Jared out of my life forever. In these past two years I have been at Neverland, he has been the only friend I've had. Everyone else that surrounds Michael seem to despise me.
"Yeah, that's a good idea," I lie, if only to mend things with Michael that instant. "I'll do it in the morning."
Taking the DVD out of the player and putting it into its case, I'm thinking of anything I can to break the awkward silence that has engulfed the room.
"Hey, what do you say we get out of here? Maybe walk up the grounds and get some fresh air?"
Michael sighs. "Yeah, you know, that actually sounds like a good idea."
We walk slowly up the carefully laid stone paths in the warm late afternoon breeze. Michael seems preoccupied, understandably.
The sun sets by the time we reach the swings. We each take a swing, and swing ourselves in silence for a few minutes.
"You know, I still have that blue blazer you gave me here almost two years ago," I mention casually.
Michael smiled. "You do?"
"Yes." I blush. "I remember it like it was yesterday. We came here to get to know each other." The memory makes me smile.
"Yeah. I remember. I even remember what you were wearing."
"No you don't!"
"I do! Black sweatpants." He smiles wide.
"And I had just signed the contract."
The smile left his face. "Yeah."
"Are you ever going to explain that contract to me?"
He says nothing for a while. I take this as a no to my question, and kick the grass underneath my feet aimlessly.
"Things had been going wrong with my image for a long time," he starts softly. "People called me weird, people called me gay, and people called me eccentric. But I've never really felt that way about myself, you know? So I thought if people saw how I lived, they'd stop saying I was so weird. So I hired Bashir to come over and cover my life. I thought he was legit. I mean, he'd done Princess Diana before she died, so I thought if she trusted him, so could I."
We both sigh heavily.
"I wanted people to love me, I wanted to fix things, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, everything just gets worse and worse. So I thought to myself, people want me to be normal? I'll show them normal. I could put to rest almost ever rumor by just getting married."
"How would that fix things?"
"Well for one thing, people would stop saying I'm gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, it's simply not true."
"And the other rumors?"
"As for the other rumors, it would show I was capable of having a normal relationship, a normal family; and if the marriage lasted at least five years, the better. It was something I had been thinking about for a while, but then after that stupid documentary I knew I had to make it happen. And then I saw you."
I have trouble processing that information. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.
"I thought it would all be so easy. But I don't know what happened. Things got complicated."
"How so?"
"I… started to have feelings for you," he declares looking at me straight in the eye. "I had planned everything so carefully, Christina. But I never expected this to happen."
Michael stands up from his swing and gently pulls me from mine. His large hands envelop my waist as he guides my body to his. He kissed me as hungrily as he'd never kissed me before.
"I love you, Christina. I need you," he declares finally breaking his kiss to look at me drunk with passion.
"I love you too, Michael." His lips return to mine instantly and we stumble together blissfully on the grass oblivious to anything other than each other.