25

I'm more nervous now that I'm out of the games than I was before going into the arena, but thankfully, there is a lot to distract me from the interviews and the coming onstage "reunion."

One of those things is listening to the chatter of my prep team. The first thing they do is take one look at me and, of all things, complain about how "short" my hair is. Then, once they get over that, they begin talking about the Games and what they were doing when certain things happened in the arena. I ball my hands into tight fists to keep myself from lashing out at them. As it is, I'm so focused on not getting angry at my prep team that I don't think much about the interviews, at least not until Tomoyo comes into the room with my suit. It's very different from what I wore before. The suit's not as sharp, not as intimidating and the purple is more subdued, with a bluish tint. It gives the appearance of calm. The opposite of the fierce protector I was presented as before the games; the fierce protector I was during the games. Obviously, she's aware of how much trouble Sakura and I are in.

"Why don't you all go get ready for the show," Tomoyo suggests. "I can take it from here."

My prep team happily obliges and when the door closes behind them, I say a quiet, "Thank you."

"No problem," Tomoyo said as she helps me dress.

"What are we going for this time?" I ask.

"Something a little more… calm," Tomoyo says.

In other words not angry or hostile or anything that might even look like it could be a sign of rebellion.

"You're allowed to keep the earring though. It's from your district," Tomoyo says as she does some finishing touches.

"There. You look good," she says. "But Sakura… Sakura's going to be the real star."

This is the second time someone's called Sakura a star since we got out the arena, and I'm beginning to think I'm supposed to understand something from this.

"Do you know what stars are made of Yue?"

I shrug. I think we had a lesson on this before in school, not that knowing what stars are made of matter much in our district. Still, why is Tomoyo asking me?

"Fire," Tomoyo says.

Technically, that's not true. That much I know because I remember a classmate giving the same answer and the teacher correcting her, but I doubt that matters to Tomoyo. She's trying to make a point here.

"There," Tomoyo says as she leads me to the elevator and takes me to the training level.

Normally, the victor, his escort, mentor, and the stylist rise from beneath the stage. But with two victors, the entrance has to be rethought. There's a second plate about ten yards away from where I stand with a makeshift wall that I'm sure Sakura is standing behind.

Before leaving to get ready for the show, Tomoyo gives me a hug and says, "This is your night Yue. Enjoy it."

I wish. I'm going to spend most of that interview hoping that everything I do and say will be enough to pacify the Capitol so they'll leave us alone. I try not to think about anything as I wait for the show to begin though and instead try focus on the fact that we'll be home soon. But even that isn't comforting, because when I get home, I have to face Toya and there's no telling how long it will be before it's safe to tell him everything. As it stands right now, we might not have as good of a friendship as we used to, if he considers me a friend at all.

The anthem begins to boom in my ears, and Makato Fukui greets the audience before introducing the District Twelve team. The only reason I keep up with who's who is so that I can know when it's time for me to pull myself together. I listen closely to the reactions of the crowd to figure out who is on stage. First the prep team, then Sonomi, who for all her annoying behavior probably knows how much trouble we're in, then the stylists, and lastly Clow, for whom the crowd stomp and cheer for at least five minutes or so. Understandable since he's done what no mentor has ever done by getting both his tributes out the games alive.

Then I feel the plate below me begin to lift toward the stage. It takes a few second for my eyes to adjust to the light and while the noise of the crowd is daunting, I ignore it in favor of finding Sakura who is a few yards away from me in a bright yellow dress that actually makes her look younger than she is. I can't ponder why because Sakura has flung herself into my arms and I have to remember that we're supposed to act like we haven't already had this reunion hours ago when there were no cameras to look at us.

The brief moment where I hesitate because I don't know what to do can be easily dismissed as being stunned to see her again, but I can't afford not to do anything after that, so I try to act happy and jubilant, the extent of which is lifting Sakura off her feet, causing her to squeal in surprise. Then, just for the cameras, I kiss her on the forehead and set her back on her feet, grasp one of her hands in mine and turn to face the screaming crowd.

Thankfully, Tomoyo has again fixed my costume with a hat and so the crowd can't really see my eyes, because otherwise, I think they would give away how fake this is. Sakura begins to wave at the cheering crowd, but I don't. That would be too out of character. The crowd wouldn't expect me to wave. They expect me to hold onto Sakura and never let go like an overprotective lover, which is exactly what I plan to do save for the lover part. That will be an act.

This goes on for a while, until Makato finally gets the crowd to settle down as he leads us to a small plush red velvet couch to sit in. Sakura is practically sitting in my lap when we finally sit down and I look into the audience at Clow, and he's giving me that patronizing smile. It takes all my energy not to roll my eyes as I put my arm around Sakura. Apparently, holding her hand isn't enough.

Now that everyone's settled, a three hour recap of the hunger games will begin. At first I don't pay attention because I keep looking at Sakura in her yellow dress. I don't get it. Why this dress? Why would she be made to look so young when from the beginning of the games, they've been trying to make her look older? Why…?

And then Tomoyo's comment about stars being made of fire clicks. She's got to look harmless, subdued, like a child because the Capitol isn't just mad at her for making a fool out of them. They see her as a threat to their power.

By the time I've figured this out, the first half hour of the video, which was focused on all the pre-arena events, has passed and now detailed footage of the bloodbath is being played. It keeps alternating between the gruesome deaths of the tributes to Sakura and I. While I want to be angry at the way they're playing this up to be some kind of fantastic love story, I can't help but be relieved that whoever put this together has unwittingly given us support in our defense that everything that happened at the end of the games had nothing to do with defying the Capitol and everything to do with Sakura deciding to die just because she couldn't live in a world without me.

There's not much of a romance to be seen during the first part of the games, save for maybe the scene on top of the mountain. Then they show what we were up to after we got separated. Me running from the careers to distract them, turning the harpies against them and then watching myself fight a harpy for the only bow and arrow set in the games. Then it switches to Sakura, by herself in the woods and finding the little wood nymph that she was talking about. Contrary to the career's belief, she didn't particularly do anything special against them. All she did was ask the wood nymph to help her. Of course, spirits, even the nice ones, don't listen to just anyone. When she finds Kero, their days are spent looking for me.

Then I'm shown blowing up the supplies, killing the boy from District 3 and the girl from four, and meeting back up with Sakura. After that is when the romance angle picks up. Seeing it from the perspective of the viewer is surreal and though they show both the deaths of Chiharu and eventually Kero (omitting where Sakura put flowers around him and I engraved the crest we made on his ax), what they really focus on is my interactions with Sakura and suddenly, I begin to realize why people thought I might have a romantic relationship with her. I guess I don't realize it when it's happening, but I do act different around her. I especially see what everyone else sees when they show me blowing up at her for tricking me so she could get the medicine for my blood poisoning. Even I can't deny that such a raw emotional scene can't be acted, especially when I realize what I said. The way I lose color in my face, the way I stare dumbly at Sakura like I've revealed a great secret, and the way she stares back at me before I mutter my confession and flee the cave. If I had been watching, I would have jumped to the same conclusion that the Capitol has too.

That concerns me.

From there, I look at everything that happens with a different lens, from my reaction when Sakura tells me that her prince charming would be too late because her guardian angel would have saved her, to the very end, when she slits her wrists, with the intent of dying with me. There's no denying it. Even when we weren't trying, Sakura and I have unwittingly fed into the idea that we're much more than friends or foster siblings. It looks like Sakura and I have a lot more to sort out than I thought and it is going to get even more complicated when we talk to Makato later in the final interviews.

Once the recap video is over, the anthem begins to play. Everyone stands as the president, followed by a little girl carrying a pillow with a golden crow on it, comes into the room. Every looks confused as they stare at the one crown. I'm not surprised. They weren't prepared for two victors. Then President Wang answers the unasked question when he picks up the crown and twists it into two halves. He goes to Sakura first, who looks like she's resisting the urge to take a step away from him and stand behind me. I'm resisting the urge not to do it for her because while he's smiling at her, his eyes are cold; unforgiving and I know that I'm right that despite the fact that I've caused my fair share of trouble, the Capitol would have had nothing to worry about if Sakura had let me die like I was supposed to.

After he places the crown on her forehead, his gaze lingers on her and while I can't block him from her, that doesn't stop me from reaching to grab her hand into mine and pulling her closer to me. We're supposed to be in love anyway.

The movement causes the president to turn to me. He grabs the other half of the crown again smiling. But unlike Sakura, I don't smile back as he places the crown on my forehead. I'm probably going to hear it from Clow and Sonomi later, but I have to send a message to the president. I fix the man with a cool stare. It's hostile, a clear warning to leave Sakura alone or the last thing they'll need to worry about is how Sakura made the Capitol look. The man raises his eyebrows ever so slightly at this before standing aside and allowing the crowd to see us both. Only then do I try to look cheerful and we both wave at the screaming crowd below us.

We have a long night ahead of us when we get to the President's mansion for the Victory banquet, where generous sponsors will want to meet us, congratulate us, take pictures of us. I'm at my limit when it comes to social gatherings after the third set of pictures, and it has less to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by Capitol people and more to do with the fact that I hate being around a lot of people in general. Somehow though, I manage to get through the night without becoming hostile, the whole while never letting go of Sakura's hand for her presence alone makes up for the fact that I can't bring myself to be in a very social mood.

By the time we get back to our suite, the sun is starting to rise from the horizon.

"And I thought you were a night owl," Sakura says to me before dragging off to her room.

I agree with her and make my way to my own room. If it weren't for the fact that she found a way to see me before all this, I'd probably follow her to her room to make sure she was alright. But since I talked to her before the games and she seems well adjusted enough, I don't bother.

In the next couple of hours I get the first natural sleep, without the threat of someone or something coming to kill me and without being drugged, in weeks. It's refreshing and for once I'm in a decent mood, even as my prep team chatters mindlessly about last night's show and banquet. Once they're done, Tomoyo again saves me by coming in with my outfit for this final interview. Last night was all about making us look subdued, not at all rebellious, although I might have failed at that when the president crowned me. This afternoon, everything is about playing up this romance angle. Thus Tomoyo's choice of design is much simpler than it usually is consisting only of white pants and a purple silk button shirt; the first three buttons of which she purposely neglects to fasten. And for the first time since the chariot rides, Tomoyo leaves my hair untied. She's trying to make me look… casual? Natural? Either way, she's again trying to downplay my natural hostile demeanor while at the same time making me look like a protector, but this time protecting something that's mine rather than belonging to someone else and that makes all the difference.

When she's done, I go to the sitting room which has been cleared to fit the couch from last night. It's surrounded by roses. The sight is nauseating.

Sakura is already present, dressed in a white dress with pink shoes. She's talking to Makato, but sees me as soon as I walk into the room. Her face lights up and Makato notices causing him to turn around and greet me. I mumble a response and go to stand off to the side and wait. Sakura comes to stand next to me.

"You ready?" she asks.

"Never," I admit. After everything we've been through, there's no use hiding certain things from Sakura anymore. She knows me well enough now to see through any bravado.

She looks like she wants to say something to encourage me, but before she can, we're being ushered over to the love seat. It's hard for me to act casual when I know this interview is being broadcast across the nation and when I'm worried that the wrong action could get us both in much more trouble than we're already in. Sakura seems to know what to do for the both of us though.

"Stop being so prudish," she says as she forces me to relax, curls up so that she's practically lying in my lap, and then throws my arm over her.

Makato and Clow, who is standing off to the side behind Makato, chuckle at my expense.

I only have the five second countdown to pull myself together and then we're live. I try not to think about that though.

Makato starts off with his usual greeting, joking, and banter. Between that and Sakura's naturally charming nature, the first part of the interviews is easy. Most of his questions are about the beginning of the games. My obvious rivalry with Ruby, fighting the harpy to get the bow and arrow, Sakura's uncanny ability to make the spirits in the games listen to her, Kero and Chiharu's deaths, though we carefully avoid talking about how Sakura laid the flowers on him and I drew the crest on his ax.

Then, we start to get to the trickier parts and though I usually hate when people dance around a topic, I wish Makato had.

"So, Yue," he says. "In the cave, that day after Sakura tricked you into taking the sleeping syrup, what was going through your head when you woke up."

I want to ask if that wasn't obvious. I essentially shouted what was going through my head to Sakura on camera. I don't though. Instead I sigh and say, "I can't really remember. I was very angry."

"Why? She came back, with the medicine to cure your blood poisoning, didn't she?"

"Yes, but…" I trail off.

"But what?" Makato urges.

"All I could think about was what would have happened if she had died trying, if that cut on her head had just been a little deeper. She could have died. And just the thought of her dying… it terrifies me," I say.

I begin to hate that this outfit doesn't come with a hat and the best I can do is try to force my bangs to shield my face. I feel awkward and uncomfortable, and I'm not sure if that's because such an emotional statement is out of character for me to say or because there's some truth in it, and I've been forced to yet again expose a part of me that I rather keep hidden.

"You said, you couldn't live without her," Makato says. "But I think all of Magea felt like there was more you wanted to say."

I glance very quickly at Clow, who nods his head, and Tomoyo, who has become a person of comfort for me in the Capitol, who gives me a gentle encouraging smile.

I really have to say this.

"There was," I say.

"Why didn't you say it then?"

"I guess part of it was denial," I say. That's what the entire nation is thinking anyway. "And because there was no point. At the time, I didn't imagine that both of us would come out of the arena. It was easier not to say it and just let her think it would be because of the guilt."

"Would you like to say it now?"

No. No I would not, because I don't know how close or far away from the truth what everyone expects me to say is. I don't know what's real and I don't know what's fake. I haven't had the time to sort it out. But the Capitol wants to be entertained and I can't disappoint them. Worse than that. To not say it would make it very hard to convince the Capitol that Sakura's last act plus everything I did in the games wasn't an act of rebellion.

"Yes." I feel like time has slowed to a literal stop. "I went into the games because I love her and I could have never lived with myself if I let her die without trying to save her."

I don't think I'm particularly convincing, but Makato seems convinced, taking out a handkerchief to wipe away tears at his eyes. Sakura's reaction on the other hand is hard to gauge. She's only smiling faintly, more interested in playing with my hand than paying attention to Makato.

"You don't seem surprised, Sakura," Makato points out.

"I already knew," Sakura replies and when Makato asks her how, her eyes twinkle as she responds with, "magic."

Sakura's response effectively shifts the conversation away from our so-called romance to the various magic we both displayed in the arena. He observes how natural it seemed to come to us and now that we're victors, we're allowed to use it. I try to be as vague as I can because the people in charge of Magea aren't wowed when they see a person with as natural a talent for magic as Sakura and I seem to have. That makes us more threatening. So I'm actually relieved when Makato begins to talk about the end of the games and how Ruby and I were able to set our rivalry aside to destroy the mutts in the game. It means this is almost over, but not yet.

It may have gotten us in trouble, but we have to talk about the final moments in the arena. Not talking about it would probably be worse that avoiding it.

"So tell me, Sakura," Makato says. "What was going through your head as you slit your wrists?"

"I don't know," Sakura says with an almost casual shrug. She's looking everywhere in the room except at Makato or me. "I just… I couldn't bear the thought of having to live without him."

"Anything else to add to that, Yue?" Makato asked.

I shake my head and with that, Makato signs us off air and the interviews are over. People are laughing, crying, and hugging, but even so, I still go up to Clow and raise an eyebrow in askance at him, to which he smiles and nods his head. I sigh and turn to go to my room to collect anything that I may have left before we have to get on the train back to District Twelve, when Sakura talking with Tomoyo catches my eye. I'm not certain, but Sakura appears to be trying to keep herself from crying and Tomoyo appears to be trying to comfort her.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I approach the two. "Why are you crying?" I direct at Sakura.

"It's nothing," Sakura says shaking her head and then she turns to smile at me for good measure.

I'm not convinced.

"Sakura," I say in a warning tone.

"It's okay," Sakura mutters, dropping the smile. For just a moment she looks frustrated, angry even, but just as quickly, the emotion is gone from her face and she says quietly, "I'll see you on the train."

Sakura goes back into the direction of her room and when she's gone, I turn to Tomoyo who is smiling patiently at me.

"Don't worry, Yue. She'll be okay."

Tomoyo doesn't have to tell me that. I'm certain Sakura will be fine. She's proven herself a fighter in these last few weeks when she's determined enough. However, I can't shake the feeling that I've done something because just for a moment, when I saw anger and frustration in her expression a few minutes before, I'm almost certain that Sakura was angry at me.

AN: Quick update wasn't it! Lol. I'm in a good mood. The worst of the semester is over. Unless I bomb something phenomenally, I'm graduating. Anyway, a lot happens here, that set up everything for the next story. You read right. There is a sequel even though I haven't started writing it. But I'll have a lot of time in the next few months. Anyway, there's one more chapter, I have a little trivia for you and then it's a wrap. Hope you enjoyed!

At the risk of sounding like some of those review junkies I know who won't post a chapter unless they get enough reviews, just a note that reviews make me want to update faster and not just when I get around to it. So if you're reading this story and you enjoyed it (or even if it appalled you) please leave a review.