Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings. If I did, I would have the money to deal with being sued. As Square Enix owns them, I'm apparently broke.

Notes: I'm on Spring Break (the only time off I get all semester TT) and Kingdom Hearts II came out today. Please forgive me for being sporadic about updating this week.

The Secretary

Episode 24: Java

Jessie took the cup RSL presented her. The little, white mug was filled with a black ooze. The secretary sniffed the beverage, and pressed it to her lips. As she drank, her face distorted into a grimace. "…. Is this instant?"

RSL's leg made circles in the carpet. "Didn't you hear?"

Jessie placed the disgusting drink onto her desk. Her eyes became tiny slits. "Hear what?"

RSL watched his leg move. "… Um, new policy… Only instant coffee."

Jessie tapped her fingers on the desk. "And the sugar 'n' cream are…?"

"… Lard's the only thing allowed."

Palmer.

Reno tried to sneak into the office. He used his entire Turk prowess to move without noise. He clutched the file to his chest.

He tripped onto Jessie. Jessie, now pinned by Reno's awkward form, grunted. "Would you get off!" The brunette pushed the redhead off of her, until Reno was kneeling in front of her. She's gonna kill me.

Between the pair, Jessie's calculator, pens, and rulers covered a weird diagram. "Uh… Sorry…" Reno presented the folder to the secretary. She's gonna #$&'n' kill me…

Rather than glare or yell, the young lady took the folder and placed it behind her. "Thanks," she mumbled. Her amber eyes returned to the chart.

Reno's eyes became wide. His mouth dropped. She's not…? What the—?

"Did you need something else, Mr. Reno?"

Picking himself up quickly he dashed for the door. "Uh, nope. I'm good."

"That is not tea." Sephiroth stated it simply. All of those blows to the head…

"I know." …must have damaged RSL's brain.

Sephiroth stared into the muck that replaced his morning tea. Disgusting.

The door to his office swung open harshly. His secretary came in dragging wood. Wood that was the same color as her desk. Oh no. "Borrowing your office, Sir. Ignore me."

"Is there a reason why you are destroying my office?"

Jessie pointed a finger at the cup in her boss's hand. "Palmer's gonna pay for that #$&."

Sephiroth stood up and folded his arms. He tilted his head as Jessie pinned a blue print to his wall. "… Need any help?"

Reeve entered the empty lobby. The oak desk and the television had disappeared. Jessie's computer sat on the floor. "O…kay?" His hair was singed in a few places, bouncing oddly as he moved to the door across from him.

He turned the handle, and opened the door slowly. Inside he found a trio of occupants. Or rather a pair. RSL was outside the window moving bags. 'Coffee beans'?

Jessie sat at the opposite end of a strange contraption. It was wood, shaped like a spoon, with various wires and springs attached. She waved a hand at the executive. "Hey, what's up? Like my catapult." She has a catapult. With coffee. In Sephiroth's office!

Sephiroth sat in a large, red, leather chair. His mahogany desk was missing. He ignored the intrusion and continued to cycle through the Shinra Company security system. He would switch channels faster than Reeve could see what was on.

"… What the…?"

Palmer bounced about his office. "Lard, lard, lard, lard, LARD!" He sang off-key.

He heard a tapping noise behind him. He faced the large window as a flood of coffee beans broke through the glass. More rounds of coffee projectiles followed suit.

The head of the Shinra Space Program found himself buried under a pile of java. Sadly, all of his jiggling could not free him.

Like it? Believe I need medication? No opinion? Please review and thank you for taking time for this bit of fluff.

Bunny points to Selunchen123, Stars of Shadow, The Ringbearer Galadriel, Shenai of Silvara, Thunderstorm101, SilverKitsune013, Akiraine of Gia, and KD Zeal for reviewing.