Chapter 23
Part 1

The reporter for Hollywood Insider was polished, attractive in a beauty pageant type of way, and long legged. She stood in front of the G-Major building as the camera zoomed to the two people assisted by security into the music empire. Her toothpaste ready smile was at hand as soon as the two entered the building without making comments to any of the press swarming the sidewalk. Jude Harrison looked every inch the diva, with her large sunglasses covering her face and Tom Quincy looked unusually harassed by the paparazzi as they hurried away from the crowd.

"This is Katie Trent reporting. Sources at G-Major confirmed that Tom Quincy has moved his newest artist Jude Harrison into his bachelor pad. Who is the woman that has finally settled the heartthrob? And is there trouble in paradise? There has not been a single confirmed sighting of the couple together in public. What is the true story? Is Tom Quincy finally off the market or is this a simple favor for Darius Mills?"

Portia watched them come in, had seen the last few days how he had started to shut her out, but now things had changed, not dramatically because that was not Tommy's way when it came to personal emotions, but subtly. It was Jude now, that tried to move to gain distance between them, and Tommy who followed, his penetrating eyes never losing her from their sight. Quite the interesting turnaround, she supposed, Tommy doing the chasing.

Later that morning Portia caught up with Jude and smiled as she waited for her to finish at the coffee area in Hospitality. "So you really moved in with Tommy?"

Jude started, having not noticed Portia's arrival. She was too busy trying to keep herself together. It was so hard to maintain that careful distance between them, when it felt so natural to touch him, to smile intimately at him. The paparazzi that had started to hound them had not helped matters any.

"Uh yeah…I needed a place to stay and he was nice enough to offer." Jude looked down at the mug in her hand, uncomfortable with talking to Tommy's ex-wife, with the questions, with the entire situation. She didn't want to rehash how she had wound up in this moment in time. Portia reached for a shiny black lacquered mug bearing the gold G-Major logo, on the shelf and poured herself some coffee.

"He didn't tell you did he?"

"Excuse me?"

"About his deal with my brother," Portia elaborated, her voice all compassion and empathy. It made more sense to her why Tommy had been so interested in this young woman now. She mentally chided Tommy for going after someone not hardened to this world they lived in. Jude wouldn't have known the score where men like him were concerned and she knew it wasn't fair.

Jude was not by nature a suspicious sort, having an inherently honest personality herself, but she recalled how this woman had spoken of Tommy before and she would've been stupid not to be wary. Jude shrugged nonchalantly, stirring her tea with a plastic spoon before taking a small sip.

"Typical," Portia snorted. "That's how Tommy deals best with women. He doesn't consider others. I wouldn't take it too personally if I were you."

A hint of fire lit Jude's eyes as she looked up into Portia's dark ones. "I don't think he was being inconsiderate." Her firm tone startled Portia for a brief moment.

"I've been there--don't let him do it to you too Jude."

"What?"

"You can't rely on him--to keep his promises--to stay faithful." Portia shook her head as old memories once again assailed her. She had been that idealistic once too, seeing the parallels even when there may not have been any, believing every word from his smooth talking mouth. He had once told her she was different, special too.

Jude was not convinced that they were in the same situation, even though it might have looked like it from an outside observer. "I don't--" Was she being naïve in still believing she mattered to him?

"What excuse did he give you then? It must have been pretty convincing--You don't seem like a stupid woman." Portia felt herself overstepping the boundaries, but felt compelled anyway. She had always had an unnatural interest in Tommy's life, maybe because deep down she had never forgiven him for the way she had been treated.

"Look Portia--I know I haven't known him as long as you, but I've never heard Tommy make excuses for anything. I don't think he even knows how." Jude fidgeted uncomfortably at her outburst, unable to justify to herself why she was defending him when she was still angry with him. "I need to get back to the studio. See you." Jude hurried away before the other woman could respond.

"Why didn't you ever tell me this sucks?" It had taken Tommy this long to work up the nerve to listen to this piece of ancient history, his biggest failure. Now he wished Darius had left it buried, where it belonged, along with his boy band past.

Kwest started in surprise, not realizing the Tommy had seen his reflection in the glass as he stood behind him right outside the doorway. Kwest was the only one left in the studio besides Tommy, and curiosity had gotten the best of him when he heard Tom's voice coming from the speakers. Even though they still weren't on speaking terms Kwest wondered why Tommy hadn't gone home to Jude already.

"I did it for this?!"

"What's going on man? It wasn't that bad…" Kwest cringed as he listened to the song continue. It was different than what he had remembered, rougher, the sound a bit retro--forgettable. He came fully into the room then, and took the empty swivel chair across from Tommy.

"I was eighteen--a stupid kid who thought he was the next super star." Self derision had never been Tommy's style before throwing Kwest for a second. Tommy was egotistical and arrogant and self-absorbed, not this man sitting before him.
"What's changed?" Tommy snorted at his lame dig, surprisingly able to appreciate his friend's attempt to lighten his mood.

"I really thought I had something there Kwest." Everything he had pinned his old resentment on, it was all based on a house of cards. Darius had been right, and that's what burned in his gut the most. Darius had given him Frozen back now, when he knew Tommy was experienced enough to hear it for what it was, an immature kid's rambling attempts at being deep. Tommy felt himself losing his grip on his life, everything off kilter, ever since she had entered it. And they had been starting to build something real, but it felt like it was all suddenly ending. She had promised they would continue to talk. He was still producing her, but it couldn't be the same. She said they needed to get to know each other, but he didn't think that's how it would work out. The last few days had hardly been a shining example of open communication. They were as professional as they knew how to be at the studio, and at home…at home they stayed in separate rooms.

"What's wrong Tom?" Kwest asked somberly, seeing his normally implacable friend clearly rattled by something.

"Jude."

"What's wrong with Jude?" She had not come in today, but Kwest hadn't thought too much about it. She was a prolific songwriter and they were still on schedule. And since Kwest hadn't worked with them since the last time he and Tommy had argued he really didn't know what was going on with his friend's relationship.

"She's moving out--"

"Because of the tabloid? You did tell her most of the stuff in those things are bull right?" Kwest felt a moment of confusion and dread when Tommy simply looked down again, his fingers flicking at a pen on the soundboard.

"D wanted Jude." Tommy went on to tell him about Darius's ultimatum and Kwest sat back shaking his head. He had never believed his boss could be so tough.

"And you didn't tell her…Does she know about his threat then?"

Tommy shook his head. "All I had to do was tell her the truth--That's all she asked me for." She had never asked for much, just for him to be straight with her.

"You love her."

Tommy met his stare and it was instinctual for him to deny something that absurd. Tommy Quincy had been burned badly once and he always learned from his mistakes. He did not fall in love. "I--" But he couldn't continue as it hit him like a sledgehammer, like a Colorado avalanche. He thought about her all the time, wanted her every second, it made him happy to make her laugh and he actually listened when she spoke, even when his body was constantly aware of her every breath. When she opened her mouth to sing it made him proud that he could be part of the process. Why hadn't he realized this sooner? He had always been falling for her--even before the B word had ever been mentioned, and getting to really know her had been even better.

"Be straight with her. I know you're used to shutting people out man. But don't you think she's worth it?" That had never been the problem to Tommy's mind. He had always found himself willing to go further for her than anyone. "I see how you are with her. I was wrong. I think she needs you-- and you need her." Gone was the cynical man who put no emotional investment into anything or anyone. She hadn't changed him, just made him want to show the side of himself he usually kept hidden from the world. For all his cocky self-assured attitude, underneath it all Tommy didn't think he was worth much of anything. He was a small town boy from New Brunswick, who's own mother couldn't bear to look at and who's father had abandoned long ago. Jude saw something else in him though and her belief in him had put a crack into his walls.

"Then what do I do?" His promises could only seem false to her now.

"Start with the truth," Kwest stated plainly, having always been the more levelheaded of the two.

He heard the faint notes coming from the other room and closed his eyes, tightened his fists, trying to control the need to escape the sound. There were gifted musicians out there that could bring a tear to your eye with the way they wrung out every note from the piano, but Jude was not normally among that exalted class. Her gift was her voice, but nevertheless the sad, lost quality she seemed to bathe in when she sat on that bench had him ready to scream out in rage. Her hands played over the keys slowly, as if squeezing the life out of every sad note. They had not touched in days and the feeling of helplessness threatened to overwhelm him. How had she become so important to him when he never let anyone in? He had let her get to him and it was impossible to just shut her out now no matter how hard he had tried. He pushed the ajar door wide open, even knowing she wouldn't welcome his presence.

Jude stilled her fingers on the keys and stared up at him silently. She wasn't doing a good job at hiding her wounded eyes from him, but he did not comment on them. Her stillness was hard won, when what she really wanted to do was walk into his arms and let him convince her not to leave. She wanted so badly to believe in him, but she no longer trusted her own instincts. The things that she wanted the most, the people she gave her trust to, they had all failed her when she needed them. Jude needed to be a stronger person, because their baby deserved that much.

"What is this?" she asked quietly staring at the CD case he held out. They had not spoken much the last few days and he found now he had missed the sound of her voice.

"This was the solo album I was working on--Kwest and Darius are the only ones who've ever heard it. Darius locked it up years ago. He said he'd give it to me if I signed you." He didn't mention the other part of the agreement, or rather threat, knowing he didn't deserve an ounce of her sympathy. He dropped the case onto the ivory keys when she made no move to take it from him. "I listened to it and--" He shook his head. "--it wasn't worth it." She stared at him silently. "Even if it had been Grammy material…It wouldn't have been worth it." With one last glance at her golden head bent to stare down at the CD, he sighed. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." With that he walked out of the music room, for the first time in a long time wishing things had been different. He had made more apologies this past week than he had done in the past ten years combined and couldn't help but think it had all fallen on deaf ears.

Jude finally moved from her position on the bench, removing the CD from its case as she went. She walked out into the living room, sensing that the space was empty, not acknowledging that she could feel his presence when he was around. Forgoing the universal remote that ran almost every electronic device in the room, that she had never been able to figure out, she walked to the entertainment center and opened a panel to reveal the elaborate sound system.

She knocked once on his half open bedroom door before entering hesitantly. It seemed almost an unnatural thing to do since she been sharing his bed every night. She placed the CD on his desk and walked over to stand beside him where he lay propped against the pillows, attempting to watch TV. His expression was unfathomable, but in his eyes she glimpsed a note of bleakness as he turned his head, the only acknowledgement of her presence.

"You didn't have to coerce me into it. I would have signed just because you asked," she said simply, not trying to make him feel worse, but succeeding just the same.

He should have told her from the beginning, but that point was moot now. What he had to know, was where they went from here. He had asked for her trust once, but broken it and not given any in return, not until now--when they had reached this juncture in the road, this crossroad. He hadn't realized how open she was with him, even though she had her own demons. How much trust had she placed in his hands, her body and something else, her heart? He hadn't known until he felt the absence, until she'd shut it away.