[Warnings apply from previous chapter]

Twenty four.
jactura/lacrima

Asuka groaned, narrowly avoiding yet another blow.

Fighting the urge to use her other hand, the hand with her knife, was harder than the physical fight she had found herself in. Manjoume was fast. She could barely let herself breathe.

She had had to hold back so much she had lost count. If not for the knife, she would have choked him; deep down, she was thankful for the weapon she was forced to hold to keep holding, lest it fade.

Her knife met crystal. Glowing silver met shards rising from nowhere. It was hard to keep dodging, and harder to hit Manjoume physically. Deep down, she could not abandon her feelings; the feelings that told her she was fighting one of her own, or at least, someone who had been born an exorcist, and therefore would die one. Even if there was no holy weapon, and only darkness clouding his hands, Manjoume was not her enemy. He was not shadowkind himself, even if the darkness had tainted him. He was not -

Too caught up in thoughts, Asuka hesitated, her knife coming too close to pale flesh. She pulled back. She couldn't hurt him, not properly. Inherited weapons were lethal to shadows. To other exorcists, they were a show of pride.

Was he even in the right mindset, to be taking her on, to fight her, exorcist to exorcist?

It was too much to stomach. Asuka was not fast enough. There was a sudden rush.

Her arm seared red. She had no time to look, but she felt it, gritting her teeth in fast agony. Her other hand strived to keep the knife held, grasping on to the injury. Fingers slipped into slick, fast-flowing blood.

Asuka swallowed. There was no time. She took a frightened step back, then another, head down. It was hurting, and there was blood. Her knees shook suddenly.

Quickly realising, she looked up. Manjoume was still there, his body poised to attack one more time.

Finish me, Asuka thought. You wanted to, right?

He did not close the gap. Manjoume stopped, leaving the space she had made in between them. His fists stayed clenched, the telltale shadowstone darkness coiling around his fingers like string, wrapped around his hands in a way that made Asuka shiver. He looked on, straight at her, panting slightly.

That's it, she thought, past the pain in her arm. He's tired. I could go in now -

"You can't do anything. I know where they all are. I don't even need to trigger them. They're all over the place."

Asuka's heart stopped and started. Her stomach turned.

"Your alliance just made it all obvious. You thought you'd trap a bunch of demons in here… but that's left you just as trapped."

It was true, she realised, with her mother and Marufuji outside, keeping hold of their barrier. Not even they could go out, not until every shadow was slain. They were here, without help, only darkness and one another, but even now, they were on different sides of the building, and in this fight, she was alone, up against him.

She had the choice, to shout out and ask for a backup. It would be easier, she knew - but dishonourable. This was a one-on-one challenge. She was hurt, but she had to stand on. She was a fighter, not a weak child, an exorcist of the Tenjoin clan.

Bandages, she remembered. Bandages. Someone has bandages. I've got to get out of this! Shou had some, I think…

"We're not weak."

Her tone faltered. She had to stay calm, even if it hurt. Manjoume would see it. She did not know how far he was prepared to go in this state; she feared death, deep down, as much as she denied it. She did not want to die; least of all, by the hands of someone who could have been her ally as much as her enemy.

"We're not weak, Manjoume. We're a team. We're with you, too, if you want us to be. We… we don't have to fight."

She tried to say it again, but found her voice growing hoarse. She knew she was almost exhausted. How long she had been fighting for, she did not know. Her muscles were screaming at her to the point of wanting to fall.

She took a step back. Then, another. She didn't know why; all that the voice in her head was telling her to do was to go. It was only when she took back her third step, and her sudden fourth, that she began to feel that something was wrong.

"My brothers said they'd be with me. Back when my mother was still alive." Manjoume sighed. His eyes turned sorrowful, just for a moment. Asuka swore she was seeing him falter.

"Back when… but no. It doesn't mean anything now. You don't know. You think everything's perfect for me, just like it's perfect for you. It isn't. You just don't know. You think you know. You only think you know…"

The rest of it Asuka didn't make out. Whether it was only a murmur or her own ears drowning in noise, she barely saw Manjoume's lips move before turning into a snarl, and suddenly, he was running at her again.

Screaming out with the pain still coming from her arm and rushing through the rest of her body, Asuka pulled back her arm. If it came to it, then she had to stab. She had refused to, but now she was hurt, and saving Manjoume was looking less and less likely.

He was coming closer and closer, with a stone in his hand. She just had a little time. Seconds ticked away in her mind.

She was running out of ideas.

Do I stab? I can't stab, I won't stab!

She suddenly ducked from his blow, and in desperation, slammed into Manjoume. Her arm wouldn't listen to the voice in her head, and instead of reaching to stab, her hand didn't come close. Instead, it was her elbow that met Manjoume's ribs as he came close, about to drive crystals into her stomach.

She was the faster of the two of them. Her move came first, and then, she had time for a second. Her empty hand, and the one with the knife, in a fist with the blade sideways, pushed.

Manjoume's eyes widened. Before he could do anything, he stumbled back. His arms waved, losing balance.

Asuka didn't know what hit her - but suddenly, she was taking steps forward, and her hands pushed him out again.

His eyes were wide for a second - then, he hit the ground, and there was nothing but black on the floor -

Crack!

The sound was sudden.

Asuka froze. The sudden pain coming back was too much, and she fell to her knees from shock. Her feet were fast enough, and she had just managed to get out of the way. Only the toes of her boots were dusted over with grey. She coughed, trying to push dust from her lungs.

Her knife had already disappeared, back into nothing.

She glanced around quickly. Around her, the others fought on. She had no time to call out. She had to stand up. Even if her vision was hazy, just from that one stumble and the dust surrounding her, she had to fight on with them. She couldn't bother them.

Straining herself, she finally stood, wincing at the pain she felt as she put weight on her arm. It was still bleeding, not as much as it had been before, but bleeding red still. One hand pressed down to the wound, the knife her brother had given her disappearing as she shook, bearing pain. She could run back, and right now, she had more to do than just fight.

She almost stumbled as she took cautious steps forward, towards the pile of dark clothes amongst fading dust. Already, the crystals had gone, retreating back into small stones. They lay there, by the side of their fallen user, now useless.

Asuka fell to her knees. Hands were quickly wiped on her coat. They roamed, shoving gently at Manjoume's back, before moving on to his legs. There was little light in the area, but enough for an exorcist to see the bare details. His upper half - Asuka sighed with relief - seemed to be dry, though the dark stains and wetness on his lower legs made her stomach turn.

A quick glance at her own hands, now just as damp, told her all she needed to know. He was out cold. Manjoume had been fortunate. He was still breathing, but she could only hope the wounds on his legs were not deep enough to reach bone.

He was down. She could punch him as much as she wanted, but - no, she decided. Morality screamed at her not to fight back.

With a sigh, her shoulders slumped for a second. Manjoume was a harsh person. He had called her names and fought her head-on, and threatened to lose more than just his own sanity. Still, she thought, he was human too. Death was not something he would be facing today. She did not - could not, not as an exorcist - wish death on him, nor anyone else.

She hoped he wanted to live, too, because this time, he would.

Groaning, her hands slid into position, pulling him up. He was still limp against her. The heave of his chest and back reassured her. In the darkness, she smiled like never before. Manjoume was heavy, but she would keep every promise. He had rejected them all, but he was human, and she had sworn to protect all of humanity. She was an exorcist, and a valid human being at that - and no matter what, Manjoume was, too.

Lifting him wasn't easy. She cursed, almost dropping him in the process. Finally, once she had hoisted him up, she took one last look around her - there were no shadows, not in front or behind - and made her way forward, gritting her teeth as she bled.

Shou gasped for breath, the last of another dead shadow seeping out of his reach and into the air.

He was on the verge of collapse. The shadow horde was nowhere near its former size now. It was almost over, he knew. The pressure around him had loosened, and the walls were clearer in front of him. It was still dark, but there was nothing he could do about it. He could breathe, at least.

The Soul of the Kaiser flashed in his hand, before disappearing. Manifesting the weapon was effortless now, but it was still a weight in his hand. His body needed rest.

The fight, he knew, was nearly over.

His shoulders relaxed. Brushing a stray lock from his eyes - his hair was damp with sweat and probably dust - he took a moment to look around.

His eyes widened with a twitch, just for a moment. As dust clustered around, making them itch, he reached to rub it away. They opened again, after a few seconds, still watering. Continuing to recover, he turned again. This time, he paused.

He could see a shape striding, almost cutting through the dark as they drew closer. Shou made out the figure of a person, something odd about them - carrying something, he realised. Their strides made firm sounds as they walked on.

They emerged from the dark, and he could see clearly now - Asuka, head down with fatigue and strain in her limbs. In her arms, she held Manjoume's body. She'd carried him, clearly, even with what Shou could now see was a gash on her sleeve, the red barely visible but the torn threads around it a telltale sign.

Manjoume was still.

"He's all right. He can breathe. I'll move him aside." Asuka gasped out, accepting help from Shou as he helped to lower Manjoume onto the ground, away from the wreckage in the corner. As soon as he had been laid down, Asuka herself fell to her knees. Clutching her injured arm, she was on the verge of collapse.

She cursed, teeth gritted, before looking back up to face Shou. "Damn it. I'll be OK, but he'll have to stay here."

Shou's hands, reflexes working, reached into his pockets. Finding what he needed, he almost thrust them in her direction. "Bandages. Just for now."

"Thanks." Carefully, as not to hurt herself, she took the roll, unwinding more than enough. She pressed down the end of the bandage roll as Shou wound it around the injury, before the latter struggled to tear through the remainder with his teeth. It fell to the ground, Asuka pressing the bandage down to her arm.

"I'll deal with this, I'll be back up in a minute! You go on and fight!" Her shouts filled Shou with determination.

His strength was virtually back.

"And be careful!"

He nodded back at her, confident for once, and took off for the depths of the warehouse again.

He rekindled white fire in his hand, and felt the Soul of the Kaiser take form once again. Cold metal met warm skin and the surge of blood beneath; he felt the spark of holy light within him. Come on, come on! it screamed at him, and he denied it nothing; seeing another shadow leap down in front of him, he took his weapon and slashed.

He barely saw the flash of crimson eyes before it shifted, the attack managing to cut it but not kill. Shapes like teeth protruded from above, taking advantage of Shou's position to strike down. Maw wide open, the shadow swooped down; Shou countered, moving the pole back so that its blade blocked it. Straining but coping, he pulled the shaft back, then raised it again.

This time, it was perfect. The monster pulled back with a roar, falling back. Violet tendrils streamed at either side as Shou slashed one more time, the tell-tale mist forming around him as the creature's presence faded away.

There was no use staying there. Another one of the creatures was down. There were others. He had lost count of the number he'd gone through, but the space was much clearer now. He could make out more walls and the ceiling and all of the floor now, and Fubuki, who had moved to the front to deal with two shadows at once.

A quick glance and the skip of his heartbeat told him their job was almost complete. With the two that Fubuki was moments away from executing, they had no more than a couple to kill.

Three - I can take on at least one!

Asuka was out of action, keeping Manjoume safe and bandaging up her own wound. Judai was half-standing, getting his breath back. He was only a few metres away.

"Judai! They're nearly gone!" He shouted, feeling the relief welling up inside. It was over - or almost over, but that didn't matter. Only easy targets were left now.

Judai turned back, and his heart leapt with thankfulness. He was uninjured - tired out, maybe scraped here and there, but otherwise fine. From what he could see, there was no blood.

"Gotcha." Breathing heavily, he lifted his hands from his knees, flicking one of his stones up in the air like a coin. Shou had gotten used to the gesture. It was a sign of relief. Judai wasn't hurt. They were all fine.

"Hey, Fubuki!" Judai turned, calling out. "You want to go tell the grown-ups?"

His old, lighthearted tone was back. Not even a long time fighting, almost dying even, had left any damage. Shou smiled, hiding slight envy.

With a nod and a quick sound, Fubuki stood, letting the two shadows he had expertly slain turn to nothingness. "Sure. Let me just breathe."

"All right! We'll deal with the rest. Two of them, right?"

"Judai - "

"I can deal with them both!"

Before Shou could object, Judai was already up ahead, storming straight in. There was no stopping him, Shou knew, not unless he was to jump in. He reached out.

His body protested, muscles aching with fatigue. Feeling tension sting in his arms, he knew he had to let Judai go. How he could fight for so long was beyond him.

Please, you can do it. You can, I know you can. Silently, he prayed as he looked on, guiltily wishing he could be of more use.

"Come on, you gonna get me?" Judai raced on, gesturing past the shadows as he ran past. He tossed the stones up and down as he stopped, finding himself a place where both creatures could see him. One was in each corner of the building. What they were, Shou couldn't quite see. Both seemed to be silent.

No more than shadows. Good, now finish them and get back here.

He didn't expect them to be as fast as they were. Before Judai could move, one was already footsteps away, in what Shou swore had to be only a handful of seconds.

"Ha!" Judai jumped back. Catching one stone in his hand again, he ducked to avoid a blow, turning with haste to drive a crystalline edge into the beast's side. The wound wasn't deep enough. Reaching over, a dark claw tried to grasp at Judai's arm.

It made contact, then gripped, tight as a vice. Shou gasped as spindly fingers twisted around Judai's wrist. His legs tensed, knowing he had to run in.

He had to run - no, he couldn't run, not now - but he had to - what do I do?

"I'll be all right!"

There was a sudden slash, and Judai stepped back. His free hand still clutched onto the second stone. The one held by the beast broke free of its grip. The shadow spasmed as crystals dug deeper in.

Regaining his breath, Judai made distance. "Now," Shou heard him shout, as he ran back in, almost pouncing onto the shadow - and then, there were more crystals, more breaking shards, as they burst through the monster's skull. He couldn't see much detail, but with the way it was flailing, as Judai's firm back rose up and down with steady breaths, it was over.

There was one more quick flash of dark. That was the end.

Judai turned around, gesturing him a thumbs-up. His wrist seemed firm and straight, even after being held by the frightening grip. Shou breathed out a sigh of relief. He had been right. This was no problem. This was it. They were done.

Before he could call back, Judai was already on the run again, and it took a closer look, and a reminder, before Shou realised. There was one more shadow left.

The other shadow had been far slower. It had stopped and started, leaping and pausing in patterns while Judai had fought with the other. Whether it was foolish or cautious, Shou didn't know. Either way, Judai was not letting it past.

"Come at me! Come on, then!" He seemed to toy with the beast as he beckoned it. Shou saw its legs tense - like a leopard, he thought - ready to jump.

Judai was faster, as he hopped out of the way. The creature sped on, almost going too far; it turned around, just in time. Its belly huffed, as if breathing steam from its nostrils, hot on the chase of its enemy. One great set of claws lashed - once, it missed, twice - as Judai darted from one side to the other.

Its head swayed in confusion. Judai took a step to the side, and then back. Closer it lumbered, and he stepped back again. Within a few seconds, there was no sign of its dizziness.

Judai breathed in, and stepped back again. The attack was faster this time. Back and back, he was forced to retreat.

"I'm all right, don't worry!"

Shou nodded, but his heart wouldn't listen. Judai swerved once again, the gap between him and the creature shrinking and shrinking the closer it came. He had not expected the speed, and Judai had never been one for hard plans. Back was the only direction.

I have to go in, what am I doing - I have to - Shou gritted his teeth, taking his own decisive step forward. It was going to come, and Judai would hit the wall, and he needed help now. He had to come in and fight.

He scanned around, hoping Judai would not come too close. He needed space to come in, there was space by that wall -

No!

His knees froze.

Shou knew his eyes had grown better than Judai's, beyond any ordinary human being. He could see a glimmer amongst some debris. The longer he looked, hoping it was some kind of dust or a piece of glass, the more of it came to him. He shook his head in horror at the realisation. The glimmer was tell-tale.

He wasn't imagining it. He could see that small glimmer - and another, and another, too close to be just coincidence, there in the corner. They were tiny, but just clear enough for an exorcist to see.

Horror surged through him.

"Judai, there's a trap! Manjoume's - "

Whether Judai had heard or not, he did not know. There was no time.

What he did know, was that as Judai took the last step and turned to face him with a sudden gasp, his head had dropped forwards and his shoulders had hunched, and the shadow creature had frozen in place.

Violet lightning. Something was striking the wall, a series of black, violet, red, engulfing flashes encircled both beings.

"Judai, move!"

It was no use. It was as if the world had slowed down, just for a second. Shou saw it all, every stark detail.

Judai was frozen. All he could see was a shake in his hand. The shadow had frozen, too, paralysed.

Something glittered on the ground, one more time. There was a loud, violent crack.

Hell burst from all directions.

There was crashing, and breaking, and dust.

Silence filled everything.

Shou opened his eyes again, slowly, hearing the sounds of cars in the distance. The city hadn't changed. Dust circled; he coughed as it settled. His eyes stung a little; he rubbed at them, having dropped his weapon with a displeasing, harsh clang as it his the ground. Wincing, he cursed himself for not paying more attention to his eyes. He knew it would be best to take out his contacts

The light was more vivid, more present. Shou turned. There was the reason.

Where the trap had been sprung, half the wall and some of the roof was gone. Odd cables stuck out at all angles. Stone had cracked and fallen to the ground. Faint streetlights peered in through the hole. Dim orange mixed with grey and the cruel navy blue of the sky. Around him, there was nothing other than shade and artificial light.

There were no roars or growls around him; nothing but breaths and what seemed to be remnants of rubble shifting around, falling still. Pieces of wall, the size of small pebbles, laid amongst great, rough slabs on the ground. Broken glass reflected what light there was.

Judai.

As soon as the dust settled, his legs sprang, forgetting all that was behind him. He ignored the calling of his name behind him and ran.

He didn't care if he fell. Rubble was everywhere, and he almost tripped as he ran, careless and mindless. Judai was hurt, and that mattered more than anything else as his desperate heart raced. Ignoring the other voices behind him, he fell to his knees and began to dig, hands clutching stone and splinter and rock and whatever else was in that heap. He did not want to know all that he was touching; it was already too much, and he felt his head spin at the stench of blood and earth and dust and literal hell.

"Judai! Judai!" He called his name, over and over, like the voice that had bound them together in unitas-concordia sharing their thoughts, calling out until he couldn't breathe without his throat hurting. His hands grew weary, scraped raw by the rubble he threw out to either side. He had to help Judai. He had to, no matter what, even if he was hurt too in the process…

Voices cried out, ceaselessly, on and on in his head. It didn't matter any more if it hurt.

The spurring-on of the voice of the exorcist was the last thing he wanted to hear, not because it was telling him to fight regardless of anything, but because it wasn't Judai's.

When he finally saw something move underneath his reach, he let himself breathe. Tears of relief were beginning to sting at the corners of both eyes, dust no longer pricking, but forced into repeating stabs. Hope rose again in his chest, his vision blurring. He was going to get Judai out, and they would come out together, free of their worries and happy and proud…

His hand met something that could not be rubble.

He pulled away, reflexes impossible to suppress; his eyes, those of an exorcist in the darkness, saw more than just blood and dust on his fingers.

He forced himself not to gag. His head was beginning to spin as he saw more and more of what he had uncovered.

Judai!

Judai had lived; he could see his chest rise and fall, the sound of struggling, harsh breaths making Shou wince. Judai had lived - but the state of him…

He borderline screamed.

Shou was hit by a shivering wave. His hands trembled as he shook his head in disbelief. Suddenly, the pain in his leg did not seem so harsh any more.

Judai lay on his side. Everything was dark. His eyes could see nothing but red.

Where the trap had been sprung, it was clear that it had been effective. There was blood on the floor, far too much of it, thick pools; the shards had disappeared, but their marks were clear. The clothing covering Judai's stomach was torn and soaked through. Looking closer, Shou could see the vivid colour underneath. The cuts were thick and wide, where the trap had pierced through Judai's torso and chest.

He gasped at the sight. Another tear, another stain, just below the neck.

There was blood around Judai's mouth, too, with more of the crimson pooling around his hair; Shou couldn't see where it was coming from. Noticing more blood around his cheek, trembling fingers pushed a sticky lock of hair out of the way and fought the urge to flinch back, as sickness rose inside - there was more red around the side of Judai's head, and something more than blood coming from one of his eyes.

The other eye was half open, but dim. Still, there were breaths, turning to struggling croaks.

Shou was still shaking his head at the sight. No. No. Please, anything. Oh God, no.

"Judai…" His own voice was faint, pitch shifted to the point where it hurt. This isn't happening, it cannot be happening…"Judai…"

He was met with no answer.

Judai's body convulsed. Shou let out another gasp as he saw the red in Judai's mouth, and the small spurt that emerged from between his lips.

"Judai, please…" He hurt, he was sure that he hurt… "Please, no…"

Still shaking, he fell to his knees, ignoring the disgust that came with his knees meeting warmth and fluid - Oh, God - to try and shift an arm below Judai. His sleeve grew wet quickly, making him wince; but he had to bear it, he knew, so that at least he could check for any more damage.

Shou almost threw up at what he was feeling.

His fingers began to sink into cut-open flesh where Judai had been pierced; he moved them, quickly, teeth gritted. His head began to swim and it suddenly became harder to focus. Eyes still unused to life without glasses, his vision blurred and refocused, even in the darkness, where his eyes still saw best; all they could see was what was in front of him, even if he shut them to cry.

The killing blow already been dealt. Worse, he was still alive.

Judai, oh, Judai…

He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. It was too much to even make a noise above a croak's volume. Judai himself was stone-quiet, the rise and fall of his chest the only tell-tale sign of him being alive.

Even that, he could see through the tears, was slower. As much as he fought to deny it, what he was seeing, and feeling was real. His arms reached, trying to pull him closer to himself to at least hold him, maybe smother some of the bleeding. It hurt, more than in the physical sense; hurt him more on the inside.

"Shou, is he all right?" He heard Asuka shout behind him, followed by the thumping of footsteps. He didn't turn around.

He didn't say anything. The silence made him feel sick.

"…Oh God, no. Judai, please, stay with us!"

She was by his side in a rush. He felt Asuka nudge him, more by accident than anything else. Her own hands reached out, trying to scan for wounds. Judai was nothing but wounds; he heard her wince with horror as blood smeared on her palms.

How do we stop it? What do we do, how do we save him?

His entire mind was swimming.

"Judai, please, stay with us…"

Asuka was calling behind him. The gasping coming from her throat was a stab in his own. It hurt to look anywhere, to hear anything, to be so close and yet to be of no use. His chest was closing up, and suddenly, for a moment, he couldn't breathe.

As he fought back, he recovered his breaths, his heard screaming out from within. His hands struggled to stay stable. Behind him, more footsteps rang out, but he barely heard Fubuki's voice as he came running back, closer and closer, through his own tumult of feeling.

Please, no, this isn't real, this isn't - I have to hold on, I have to hold you…

Desperation stirred within him, then rushed. His hands shook with fear. What was before him was something he did not want to believe. Still, there it was; it was real, just like the blood that had stained his hands and stained his coat, even if the black fabric had hidden the stains.

Shou felt an idea form in the chaos. "Wait, please, stand back. I can try."

He sighed, gesturing to Asuka. Obeying, she stood and backed away.

The stench of blood was making his head spin. He nearly gagged. It was everywhere. He had to face it. He took a deep breath, focusing less on the fluid and more on the body it was coming from.

Gently, he took Judai's limp hand into his own. His eyes squeezed shut.

Please, please, just let me do this, let me hear you, please don't be dead, Judai, stay with me…

He knew begging would be no use, but he had never felt more desperate. His father's frightening eyes, his brother's cutting tongue, the fear that his mother's curse would always be part of him - everything had been scaring him, but nothing had come close to this, to seeing his friend, the one he knew that he loved, fighting to live, and knowing his fight was about to come to an end; an unfortunate one…

Judai's hand was growing cold by the minute. He gripped it tighter, as if his own life depended on it.

Please, Judai, let me - one more time, just let me -

There was nothing, not even a squeeze back. For a second, Shou thought he felt something twitch.

One more time -

The rush ran in. Shou almost cried out as the sharp wave of unitas stormed into action again. He felt the link form, waver then stabilise. His vision focused through the colours as it fixed itself again. He knew it, it had worked, something was working, Judai was still here -

There was a stab. He jerked, teeth gritting. His whole self was suddenly hit with bolt upon bolt of pain. He fought the instinct to reach for himself. The pain was everywhere. More than his body, more than any wound, his whole soul felt as it was tearing.

Judai, please, stay, I don't want you to -

He thought, focusing hard, hoping it would transmit. He had no idea. Judai was weak, too weak to hold on, but if he could think, it would be enough. He would hear him again. He would find out where he was hurting the most, and he would help him, and then, the others would bandage him and they would call someone and he would live, Judai would live -

I can't - damn, damn all of it -

Judai!

The voice was a miracle. It rang as clearly as any thought always did in their unitas state. Judai was alive, just like he'd wished. He was clinging on. Shou knew it; hope was still there.

Judai, please, stay there! We'll help you!

Shou? Thanks - no, you can't. It's everywhere.

A cough tore through the silence. Shou fought back against his own rush of memories. The corners of his eyes were pricking. He wanted to fight back the feeling, his soul screaming as he held on.

He was fighting a battle he felt he would lose.

Please, let me do something. I can't let you -

Sorry, I screwed us both over.

You didn't! Judai, please, stay with me!

I don't think I can. Shou, I'm… I screwed us over. I screwed both of us up…

Shou's heart sank with despair. He wept, not knowing what to say or to think. His head spun at the sight and smell of blood. There was nothing he could do, no matter how hard he denied it. Judai wasn't going to make it. They were going to be broken apart, and Judai deserved to live for so long - Shou, for an instant, wished he could have taken the pain and died in his stead -

His eyes widened, remembering.

Wait. Please, don't go. Don't give up. You said that to me, right?

If… Shou, you don't have to -

Please, let me. I can save you. I… I know. There's something.

There was nothing, just for a second. Shou swallowed, hoping the worst had not come. His thoughts and Judai's were one; some part of him knew that Judai already knew what he was thinking. He silently begged for a 'yes' in the emptiness.

…You think it… might work?

Shou's heart almost burst from his chest.

Please, anything. I just want to save you.

Even if it hurts you?

Even if it hurts me. Even if it is what it is. Please, just lend something to me.

Lend… what?

I don't know. Whatever it is that lets you do alchemy.

He could hear Daitokuji's voice resonating in his mind. He was far from an alchemist. He was Judai's exact opposite. It was far from sane to dare to attempt alchemy, and the worst kind of alchemy, too; the alchemy of souls.

He could keep Judai alive if it worked; even as some kind of entity other than a human being. Judai was going to die regardless, the wounds deep and unforgiving.

He couldn't help but remember what Daitokuji had said.

It's another kind of rape. The word sent a shiver down his spine. He shook his head, realising what he had said.

…No. It's wrong. I can't do that. Forget I even thought of it.

It's not - not if you say it -

No, please. I can't hurt you like that -

It's painful…. I can't hold on.

Judai, please, I beg you, stay with me!

I can't - I think, if you want to, you know that's the only way…

What do you mean?

I just… I just want to live -

Shou shook his head. The unitas rang true in his head, even when the words made no sense. Judai was telling him to do the unspeakable. For a second, all he could think of was his mother.

But Judai was saying it. He had told him to try it. He had to be certain. The chance was there, even if it seemed like a taboo. If he allowed it - if Judai was still thinking straight - then there was nothing morally wrong with it, even if he still felt sick thinking about it.

I… just want to live.

He had to ask him, for definite. He had to be sure he hadn't imagined it.

Slowly, his gaze fixed itself, fighting the reflex to look away from where one eye had once been. His hands shook as one held on tighter. His throat burned, desperate.

"Are… you sure?" Shou asked out loud. He doubted he would hear any answer. His heart trembled with terror. The last thing he wanted was to act against Judai's will.

For a few seconds, there was nothing.

Slowly, Judai's head moved in response. Up and down. More confidently after a few times. Do it, it said, far more than a shudder.

There was no mistake about it.

Shou realised it then; that as much as it disgusted him, it had to happen. It had to take place. It was insane, but it was happening. Everything ached with dryness and the taste of tears not yet fallen.

He had to take matters into his own hands. He had Judai's approval.

The unitas gave out, the familiar snap setting off a sting in the back of his mind. Then, there was darkness again, and emptiness in his mind. His hands - he could feel them much more now, again - were still sticky with blood.

It was finished.

Shou sobbed, knowing it was the end. All he had in his arms was the dying body of his best friend.

…And a chance, he thought, and a chance. The worst kind of chance. The worst kind of thing.

The desperate, the mad, and the dying. Daitokuji's words resounded in memory. The chances were slim, but he knew it: what would plague him more was knowing that he had given up without trying. He knew he had doubted himself once; he remembered himself, feeble and scared and thinking he was alone in the darkness. He remembered the terror: the feeling of wanting to cry.

Judai had helped him to stand alone and strong, and given him what he needed to bear his own blade in combat. Judai had given him that, and more than he'd imagined.

Now, Judai's blood was seeping into his clothes, and staining his hands.

He wasn't going to lose Judai. If he did, then he would lose himself, too - but in the end, he would die having tried his hardest.

Thank you. I'm serious, thank you for everything.

Judai had nodded to him.

He shrugged off his brother's jacket, black falling onto dust, dust staining black. His shoulders trembled, back shaking with fear, pleading to any divine force, if any was listening. He begged, under his breath, and begged; he begged for luck and forgiveness.

His hands were stained with dust and Judai's blood. The pain in his leg was still throbbing. He ignored it.

He had to begin.

"Asuka… Fubuki. Please…" He couldn't turn to face them, eyes fixed to the floor. His voice came out only as a series of sobs, quaking in his mind and his throat as he tried to voice his plea. "Please…" He couldn't say it, didn't know how to. He knew the name of the action, but feared everything that came with it. "Please…"

"Please…" He finally spoke properly, stuttering and on the verge of screaming again. "Please, lend me your knives."

Twin gasps sent shivers through him, drowned out by Judai's breaths.

"…Why?" Fubuki asked, voice strained. Shou could hear him fighting back sobs.

"Please. I… I need to do this."

He needed their help, too. He couldn't do it alone. He lacked the extra hands, and the courage, and the time. "I need to do this. For Judai."

"Shou, if he's - if you're…" Asuka breathed out. In her voice, he could tell that she knew things he'd never suspected she knew before. "You… you don't want him to suffer…"

That was true. Nobody, no human, thought Shou, should have to live in agony, with no hope of return. Judai's breathing was becoming more strained, lungs taking the toll. Shou's own knees had become stained with dark; with his friend's pooling blood.

Fubuki picked up where his sister had stopped. "You're right. We can't… let him suffer."

Shou's head lifted a little, eyes becoming fixed once again on Judai. It pained him; more than anything, it hurt, more than his own shallow wounds. Here was Judai, the one who had saved him and helped him and been by his side, who had loved him…

Was this going to be the right thing to do?

Fubuki already had both knives in his hand - his own, and Asuka's, rematerialised.

"All… all right." He choked the words out. "Please. Fubuki, Asuka… Please. Both blades. Please. Come here."

Would they forgive me?

Hesitant, but knowing there was no choice, the siblings stepped closer, before kneeling down on either side of Shou - Fubuki on the left, Asuka on the right - and holding out both blades, one each.

The dragon and the maiden were on opposite ends. Fubuki held the Beauty; Asuka held the Beast.

Both handles faced Shou. Neither Tenjoin wanted their knife to be the one to end Judai Yuki's life. Closing their eyes in acceptance, they waited for Shou's decision.

Shou took a deep breath, trying to numb out the sounds of pain. He needed to end it. Careful as not to cut himself on either blade, he took the handle of Fubuki's knife. Gently, moving the edge away from the elder sibling's fingers, he pushed the knife, turning it so that its tip faced himself.

Asuka's remained as it was. Fubuki opened his eyes, jerking at the unexpected action. Both knives remained in their owners' hands.

One edge faced Shou. One was still pointed at Judai.

Do they know what this is?

Shou nodded, silent. Asuka trembled, seeing what had been arranged. "Shou… What do you - "

"I want this."

"Are you crazy?" She almost dropped the Beast, teeth gritted with fury. "Shou, you're not committing suicide!"

"I don't want to die."

"Exactly! You can't ask to die here! We're not killing you!"

"I don't want to die," Shou repeated. He knew he didn't have the time to argue. It had to be ended.

Fubuki burst in, "Then why - "

Shou sighed. The hands that had moved the blade moved up, wiping tears. "I have to." He didn't have the words, nor the phrases - all he had was actions, things he'd only heard about; Judai's voice calling and comforting. Judai had said it to him. He had to do it.

Judai's body convulsed, as if choking on blood. Now or never, and he hoped he was right.

"We… Someone important to Judai, his teacher… He told me about this. And I'm… I'm going to try it. Please. I asked you. Please… trust me."

Will they do that? Will they just trust me?

A pregnant pause hung in the air. Silence reigned for those moments, broken only by breathing. Judai was dying.

Asuka's hands tensed around the handle of her blade. Her eyes met Shou's. Her eyes were red, too, cheeks streaked with red and pink and trails of water. Shou could see she was far from secure. Her hands were gripping her weapon, but trembling. This Asuka was not the elegant beauty Shou had first seen her as, nor was she the warrior woman she'd proven herself to be. Asuka, he saw, was just as human as him, or as anyone else. Both were weak. Her brother, too, with his shoulders hunched and his back weak, had shed his old, proud persona. These were true people, Shou knew. People that had just the same doubts as him.

"I'll do it." Asuka said first, breaking the quiet. Fubuki nodded, unable to say a word.

Their hands became Shou's, as he took Asuka's wrist and guided her closer to the centre of their circle, him and Judai leaning against the wall, opposite to him, with the Tenjoin siblings to his left and his right.

Letting go and leaving them there, he reached to his side, where Ryo's coat lay. Fumbling around, barely able to see, he searched for the pockets, finding both quickly. Clumsy fingers worked, reaching inside the one bearing most weight, clutching around the small objects inside and drawing both out. He clenched them tight, as if holding some treasures, before shuffling back to his position and reaching for Judai's hands.

He shivered at the feeling of contact. Judai's hands felt almost wrong; too light and too limp. Too cold, he thought, though he was sure he saw his chest rise. The breath spurred him on.

Placing one identical object in each hand, he heard Asuka and Fubuki breathe, almost in unison, upon seeing the small, black stones in his palms. He had picked them out of Judai's hands, holding back sickness.

Thank you, Judai. Thank you.

Another tear fell.

"Now…" Shou addressed the siblings, hoping they would understand his instructions. He took hold of Judai's hands, ensuring the stones were secure. "Now, join your hands. But hold the knives, just… just like that."

His mind was putting together the pieces as they moved, even if he could barely focus and had no idea of the outcome. As Fubuki and Asuka moved into position, he moved his hands, ever-so-gently, nudging them both into where he felt would be the right places, slightly out, the holders facing each other with the handles of the knives meeting together, blades pointed to their left and right, in opposite directions. The hands of brother and sister reached for one another and the knives they held in their hands, reaching out with the blades at right angles to one another, their hands joined, as if in a mirror.

He could tell that neither was happy; that he did not need to see. They still do not know, he concluded. This was for Judai, and though he was far from sure, he had that strange feeling inside. It screamed at him, told him to act, told him to do it.

He recalled Ryo's words. Everything has a purpose.

It was awkward and makeshift, but had to work. He held his breath. The blades were aligned, one facing each way.

"Good… Please, just hold still. No matter what happens."

He moved into place, one knife's tip pointing straight into him. The sight sent shivers up his spine. He had to stay calm. He couldn't falter -

Judai coughed, something seizing up in Shou's chest at the sound. Coated with sweat, heart pounding almost out of his chest, Shou gripped Judai's hands tighter, the stones firmly encased, thin white flickers - exorcist's flames - emerging from his hands in tiny bursts. He pulled himself closer, moving his hands and the stones within them so that he was clutching Judai's shoulders.

It was almost a final embrace.

"I'm sorry if this goes wrong," he whispered, loud enough for only himself and the one who had changed him. "I… I love you. So much. Thank you for everything."

He pulled away, and so ended the closeness. His hands remained fixed on Judai's shoulders. Shou moved back, struggling to stop himself from shaking, taking deep breaths until he had calmed. The knives' tips were left just touching Judai's chest and his own. He closed his eyes, face tight, preparing to act.

He thought of Ryo again. Don't be afraid.

Judai, I'm sorry, forgive me. This is the end.

With his eyes wide open, knives in between, Shou pulled Judai's body forward, holding him tighter - and thrust himself in at the same time.

Author's note

'sacrifice/teardrop'

August 31st. Happy birthday, Judai.

Music for the chapter, as promised: 'Elegy' by Globus, skip to 5:08 and go on. The whole song is great, but that bit specifically, at maximum volume with headphones.

One more chapter next Wednesday.

Once more, with feeling.