Holly POV
She gave up finally. She couldn't sleep. All her mind could think of was how big and sparse her bed was without a certain Super Soldier in it. She'd gotten so accustomed to sharing with Steve from the time they were in Washington dealing with everything with Peggy to the few days after when they returned to Manhattan. He'd helped her deal with the funk she'd fallen into after returning back and had kept an eye on her since. He'd been right about talking to Andrew and it seemed to have helped him as well.
The last few nights, due to missions or whatever, it'd been passing ships in the night. He in his apartment upstairs and she in her own. She spent a good deal of time with Tony and Bruce being their human guinea pig for some big plan Tony had come up with for her after Bavaria. The last time she'd gotten more than a few minutes to talk to Steve had been a few days ago. Since then, she hadn't slept very well and she was feeling it, serum or not.
Could she just go upstairs to Steve's apartment? She knew him, he wouldn't turn her away. But should she? It wouldn't like in Washington, where they had clung to each other out of desperate grief. Would he be embarrassed? Peggy had told her many stories about how awkward Steve had been around women. He was better now, no doubt thanks to Natasha, Maria and even Pepper but he was still a man of his time.
"Captain Rogers is not sleeping either, Holly. It seems you are not the only restless one tonight." Jarvis spoke softly. "Perhaps together you could find sleep?"
She smirked and sat up in her bed. "Why Jarvis, are you suggesting I break into Steve's apartment and sneak into his bed?"
"No, his apartment door is unlocked. There would be no breaking and entering." The snarky AI responded. "The sneaking however is entirely your prerogative."
She shook her head and swung her legs out of the bed. "Smartass."
She took a breath before walking into Steve's bedroom, his apartment similar to hers except she had a lofted bedroom area and Steve had an actual room. The nights were off, but the windows weren't blocked and she could see his silhouette sitting up on the side of the bed. The moonlight coming in cast him in half shadows.
"Couldn't sleep either?" He asked quietly, not moving at all. Had Jarvis told him that she was coming or had he heard her enter? Or, was he just sitting there having the same debate she'd been having?
"No, I couldn't."
He exhaled through his nose. "Funny, I was contemplating if I'd be overstepping to go downstairs to your place. I mean...you know."
His sudden awkwardness at answering her unasked question was adorable. "It wouldn't be overstepping Steve. Jarvis wouldn't let you if he thought you were. Otherwise, the door is always open."
"And you wouldn't pull a gun on me if you were asleep?"
She smirked, stepping over and sitting down on the bed herself. "Nah. I don't need a weapon. Even in my sleep, I trust you."
He smiled a little. "Thanks."
"What's keeping you up? Brain won't turn off?"
He shook his head. "Bed just..." he mumbled the rest. "...seemed too big."
She'd never admit it, but her stomach flipped a little at that. He'd missed having her there too. It was a strange kind of satisfying feeling that she brought as much comfort to him as he did to her. "Well, if you want, I can try and hog up the rest."
"I hope so. I didn't want to have to ask Banner."
She snorted. "And he totally would too, I think."
Steve POV
Steve watched from the doorway as Holly practiced her hand to hand work on her own. Her black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and she was dressed only in spandex shorts and what Pepper had told him was called a sports bra. He was sure he was probably blushing, seeing her in what to his sensibilities was a state of undress. Just the same, he couldn't stop watching.
She had a magnificent body, from both a soldier's point of view and that of nearly any red blooded man. He could see that she had next to no body fat but it didn't make her so skinny like the women he saw on TV today. He wasn't sure how stick figures were attractive. She had a figure, curves and all of it. It was something he couldn't help but notice in the days following their shared loss of Peggy and their need to stick together, including what little sleep they were able to get. It was good to see her practicing, something May's ex-husband had suggested to help deal with her feelings of loss in regards to Peggy.
He was content with watching until she went to do a handstand and grunted outloud before doing a slow tumble to the floor, her arm apparently not wanting to hold her that way. It was her left, the one that had been dislocated and so contused after Bavaria. She sat up, cursing under her breath, rolling the shoulder with a grimace, trying to rub away the discomfort it herself.
"Hey, you alright?" He stepped forward, never able to ignore a woman in distress, especially this one in the last few months. It was more than the promise he'd made to Peggy. It was a promise he made to himself. Holly had helped him feel not so alone in the world, even with being in the Avengers. He wanted to make sure that feeling was shared.
She looked up and he swore some of the color in her face was thanks to him. Unlike Natasha, Holly wasn't quite able to hide all her emotions, from him anyway. "Oh, hey Steve. I'm alright. My shoulder is being stubborn today. I was helping Tony test out some of the tech he's working on for the team and I think I might have overdone it or something." She sighed, rotating it again. "Doesn't help this is the shoulder that always gets the abuse."
It was when he got closer that he was better able to see her scars, signs of the wounds Natasha had told him about. And right there, near the end of the strap of her sports bra, just below her collarbone was the small round scar of a bullet wound, standing out against her naturally tan skin. "Like when you got shot?" He kneeled down on one knee and somehow felt comfortable enough to reach out and touch the small smooth scar with his fingertips.
She nodded. "And the muscle strains and torn ligaments from Bavaria." She pointed to her back where he could see a thin line of a scar across the shoulderblade as well as the larger scar from the aforementioned bullet's exit. "That was from Belaruse."
"I would think the serum would keep you from scarring. I barely have anything left from back when SHIELD fell and I think I got shot 3 times."
"Half dose verses full dose, sweetheart." She said, grimacing as she stretched her arm out and made small circles with her fingertips, gradually widening it. "If I didn't have the serum, I'd probably not have managed to survive Bavaria or even the gunshot."
He didn't like to think of how Bavaria could have ended up, his mind flashing back to seeing her prostrate in the snow with blood coming from her nose and ears. "Here, let me help." He moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, shaking off the negative images of the past. "Trust me, I'm actually very good at this."
She turned her head to the right. "SHIELD had you take a massage class?"
He chuckled. "No, when my mother was sick with TB, the coughs would have her all tensed up and hurting. I used to massage her shoulders and back to make it easier for her to breathe. I knew a lot of tricks for easier breathing back then from my asthma. Not like today with inhalers and those nebulizer things."
"Well if it worked for Momma Rogers, then by all means."
Holly POV
Within a few moments, Holly was fully convinced that if the whole superhero thing didn't work out, Steve could definitely be a very successful massuse. One would think that with his enhanced strength, it would be awkward to try and give a massage without making it worse, but somehow he made it hurt just enough that you felt better. She let her head drop and was probably biting her lip bloody to keep from moaning. His hands were amazing. Not just with how he managed to work out the knots without being ineffectual or too harsh, but with how they just felt against her bare skin.
She hoped he couldn't see her face because she was sure that she was flushed from thinking about what it would be like to get a full massage, imagining Steve's hands massaging her entire body. It didn't help that she had rather extensive experience with knowing what it was like to share a bed with him. Or that he made her feel things she'd pretty much given up on years ago when she'd run off to California.
"How's that so far?" He asked softly, almost in her ear, making her breakout in gooseflesh.
"Fantastic. Marry me please." She managed to reply with some restraint. If he kept it up, she wasn't sure how far that restraint would hold. She was only human. Even Nat and Pepper had both admitted during the near regular weekly lunch they had with Maria to get away from all the testosterone that they found Steve attractive. Then they'd all laughed, imagining the reactions of Tony and Clint. Pepper had been in tears as the other three took turns doing their best impressions of the men being all indignant.
He chuckled. "I require at least 3 dates at nice restaurants before I go around marrying just anyone. What kind of boy do you think I am?"
She snickered. Two things that were timeless and Steve had in spades were humor and sarcasm. "A wonderful boy who I will buy an entire restaurant for, just as long as you keep going."
"Yes, ma'am." He said with an amused tone to his voice, his thumbs gently massaging the base of her skull.
Natasha POV
Natasha stood in the doorway and watched the pair, neither of them noticing she was there. She prided herself on knowing how to read people and she'd read these two and knew they would immediately gravitate toward each other. She didn't like to think of it as matchmaking. It was something that Peggy Carter had mentioned when Natasha had visited with the woman while Steve had been with Coulson's team after Bavaria. They could be very good for each other if they allowed themselves to see it. With very few exceptions, love really was for children, like she had been taught long ago. But in the last few years, she'd been shown there were many different kinds of love and they weren't really all that bad.
She thought of Clint, touching her arrow necklace. Thinking of how she would have fought Loki with her bare hands just to save him. Remembering how welcoming Holly had been when they first met, despite her reputation as the Black Widow. How Holly's father had been so kind when he had no reason to be, how he had thanked her for avenging his wife. The way she felt strangely protective of Rogers, going out of her way to tease him and force him to learn to interact with the new century he'd found himself in. The way he'd risked his life to save hers back in New Jersey, protecting her from the collapsing building with his own body.
Watching them now, she could see that eventually, she could take credit for what would blossom. Initially though, she just wanted to show Steve that there was someone else out there who knew some of the same people he had and also make him realize he wasn't alone in living in the past. Coulson's idea to bring Holly along on the mission to Bavaria and oddly, Stark's wholehearted agreement had begun to help her move from the past but it was Steve's encouragement to face her grief and loss that had completed the process. And Peggy Carter's passing had brought them very close emotionally and even physically. Natasha knew that the pair had slept together, fully dressed, more than once in the last couple weeks following Peggy's death. And even though they had no clue anyone else knew, she knew they'd gone together to talk with May's ex husband at an eatery in Brooklyn.
It was that closeness that led to the comfort level they now shared with each other, more demonstrative and physical. She'd never known Rogers to be affectionate like he now showed on occasion with Holly. She wondered if Steve would have given a woman a massage like this 70 years ago. Probably not.
"So just what have I walked in on? Should I put a sock on the door? Do not disturb sign?"
The venomous look on Holly's face and the embarrassed blush on Rogers' made her hope the Jarvis had been recording so she could show Clint. He would be so proud.
"Just a simple massage, Natasha." Rogers explained with a roll of the eyes that was a bit too forced. "Holly's shoulder was bothering her."
"The left?" She asked the ebony haired woman who'd given Rogers a look of thanks before getting up to grab a towel. Natasha could tell it had been much more than that, not that she thought Rogers noticed. After all, she'd known Holly for years and he'd only known her a few months.
"Yeah. Testing out Tony's new tech, overdid it. How's your left? We have matching scars now." Holly deflected the attention back, a challenging smirk on her face as she gestured to the newer of the two scars caused by the Winter Soldier.
"It's just fine, thanks." She shrugged off the hoodie she'd been wearing. "Want to go a few rounds, see whose left gives in first?"
"Considering she's in pain now, that's not fair Natasha." Steve spoke up.
"Life isn't fair and you won't always be in a fight completely uninjured. We all know that."
"Sorry Steve, she has a point." Holly said, turning her head to give him an apologetic look. "Nat wouldn't purposely try to hurt me anyway."
Steve POV
To be honest, Steve was a little relieved by Natasha's interruption. Not that he didn't like helping Holly with her shoulder. The problem was, he liked it a little too much. Part of him wondered if it was still part of the grieving process. Was he focusing on Holly so much because he'd lost Peggy? Was that why he slept better with her there? Was it the reason that a simple hug from her made his day? Or that he thrilled in making her feel good with his hands?
He watched from a bench against the wall of the training room as the two women fought but his mind was far away as they grappled, leaped, flipped and kicked.
He was only brought out of his thoughts by the sound of rapidly approaching feet and looked up to see Barton nearly run straight past the door to the training room, grabbing the doorjam at the last second to stop himself before entering and plopping down next to Steve. The fighting pair hadn't noticed, Natasha had just flipped Holly off her back and had then been thrown herself by Holly's ability.
"Shit, Cap, you should have called me!"
Steve was confused. Called him for what? "Huh?"
"This!" He indicated the women fighting. "I live for their fights. Jarvis told us it was going on."
It was then that a sheepish Banner entered the room and joined them on the bench. "Hi Steve."
"I'm surprised to see you down here, Bruce." The doctor avoided places of conflict out of habit, even if it was just in training.
"I needed a break and Barton snagged me. Tony's been in one of his moods and even with the Other Guy, I still need to sleep and eat from time to time." He winced as Natasha kicked Holly right in the chest, causing her to fall back and roll away to regain her equilibrium.
"Speaking of that, I could use one." To be honest, he hadn't even gotten the chance to workout like he had wanted to when he originally came down to the room but he was so distracted, he didn't think anything would come of it besides. "Want to get out of the Tower a while?"
"And what, miss this? You guys are nuts." Barton shook his head. "Come on Holly! You are favoring your left!" He called out. "Thatta girl!"
Bruce had a small smile on his lips as he rolled his eyes at Barton. "That sounds great Steve."
Soon enough, the two Avengers were walking down the Manhattan street, headed toward Central Park, the sun setting behind them. Steve didn't want to draw any attention to Dr. Banner so he was wearing what Holly called his Incognito Uniform which consisted mostly of a Brooklyn Dodgers cap she'd gotten him a few weeks earlier and a pair of sunglasses.
He sighed. She was still in his head!
"So what's going on Steve? You seem distracted."
He looked to the scientist who actually seemed rather relaxed. Few people would recognize him as himself. They only knew him as the Hulk. "I guess I am."
"Thinking about Peggy? I know it's been a few weeks. How are you holding up?"
Steve shrugged. "I'm okay. I mean, I miss her but I know she's at peace. She wouldn't want us to be spending all our time grieving. She lived a good life."
"That she did. And by us, you mean you and Holly?"
He forgot just how many geniuses lived in Avengers Tower. "Yeah. I guess so."
They walked for a few minutes before Bruce spoke up again. "You and Holly seem to be closer now. Is that...the distraction? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want."
Steve sighed and they crossed the street to enter the Park itself. He knew that if he hadn't wanted to talk, he wouldn't have invited the closest to impartial person in the Tower out for a walk. "It is. I think you're probably the only person I could really talk to about it. Stark would just threaten me, Natasha would make fun of me. Barton would probably threaten me too. Pepper would get excited..."
Bruce smiled. "I see. And what about how you feel?"
He threw his hands up in the air. "That's the thing, I don't know how I feel. Cripes, I don't know anything about this stuff. I didn't 70 years ago and I think it's worse now. I sound like a nutcase."
A chuckle came from the unassuming scientist. "No, you sound human, Cap." He shook his head. "Are you second guessing yourself because she's pretty much Peggy's daughter? That you are putting your feelings for Peggy onto her?"
Steve thought about it. "No, I don't think so. I mean, Peggy helped raise her and there are times Holly makes me think of Peggy but there are times Natasha and Maria make me think of Peggy too. I don't look at Holly and see Peggy, if that's what you mean. And I think I've spent more time with Holly than I ever got to with Peggy."
"When did you start feeling something more than just friendship for her then? Don't tell me only in the last couple weeks. I might spend most of my time with Tony, but I'm not that out of the loop."
Now it was Steve's turn to laugh a little. "Fair enough. I don't know. I don't think I've ever spent so much time with a woman before. I mean, you know, one on one. And she gets me. I can talk about the war with her or stuff before the war and she's not bored or confused. Hell, she knows some of the stories because of Dum Dum. And she's so patient with me, like you are."
"If I could be half as patient as Holly, I probably wouldn't have had my accident." Bruce said with a chuckle. "Can I ask if you've had any of your nightmares with Holly around?"
Steve's head dropped. Bruce knew about the nightmares he'd had since he woke up that day in the fake SHIELD room. They were irregular and not always the same, the exception being the one he'd had the night after Peggy died in his apartment. He still dreamed of Bucky falling although sometimes it was himself falling and the Winter Soldier watching him fall, the words "Who the hell is Bucky" ringing in his ears when he jolted awake. He dreamed of Schmitt coming back, of Dr. Erksine telling him what Colonel Philips had said more than once, that he was not enough. He dreamed of all the men who died under his command. Of failing them. Of failing Peggy. Of waking up and being the skinny 90lb asthmatic again.
"A couple times." There'd been a night the week before when he'd been dreaming about the Commandos, of watching each of them die horrible deaths because he didn't stop Schmitt in time. Then he was shaken awake by Holly, who'd let herself into his apartment, her eyes filled with concern. Steve! Steve! Wake up sweetheart! You're okay! The family is okay. Please wake up. It's okay. You're safe. He hadn't even been able to speak when he finally broke the paralysis of the dream. He'd just sat straight up and wrapped himself around Holly, gasping for breath. She'd taken it in stride, holding him just as tightly and stroking his hair and back. It's okay, Steve. I'm right here.
"And?"
"She helps. I mean, I don't have them as much when she's there." He felt his cheeks warm at talking about sharing a bed with a woman with anyone, let alone Bruce. "We just...sleep. You know?"
Bruce nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah, I know. I did notice your DC apartment didn't have a guest room. No reason to be ashamed."
"Did you know she asked Jarvis to wake her if I started having a nightmare? There was one last week and...she saved me from it. I didn't even ask her to do that, have Jarvis alert her."
"Which one?"
"Schmitt winning. The Commandos dying." He shuddered. "I usually can't sleep after that one. I go running. But she...she was there and I was able to sleep." He paused and looked at the smaller man who would have been taller than him before the serum. "What does it mean?"
Bruce pushed his glasses up and they headed up a path that would take them back to the city street. It wasn't a good idea to take a man who could turn into the Hulk into Central Park at night, even with Captain America by his side. "That's really for you to say Steve. I can only tell you what I've seen."
"Well?"
"I think you two fit. You've both been through a great deal in your lives, share important influences, namely Peggy and Dum Dum. I think I've seen you more relaxed with her than ever before. I'm still getting to know Holly but she cares about you a great deal. And it's not because Peggy told her to or because you used to command her uncle."
Steve sighed. "I just...I don't know about this stuff. I don't want her to think that I'm only...interested because she's Peggy's little girl. Or because she's Dum Dum's niece. Or that she can fight or anything."
"Steve, do you really think Holly of all people would think that? You know better."
"Yeah. I don't know. I just...don't want to be the reason for anymore heartache in her life."
Bruce clapped him on the back, the Tower within sight. "That right there tells me you won't be. I say, just let things go as they go. And you can always come talk to me if you want to."
"Thanks Bruce. I appreciate it."