The Snake Charmer
Chapter 25
"Love and Lies"
Hermione fled the room, her heart pounding. She ran down the hall, and flung open her door, slamming it shut and locking it behind her.
She paced before the fireplace, ignoring the sumptuous meal that had been placed on a tray for her. Several minutes passed, her thoughts completely absorbed. She kept waiting to wake from this dream, this nightmare, but she did not.
A knock on the door brought her attention to the present, and she waved her hand at the door, unlocking it.
"Come in."
The knob turned and Hermione's voice caught. There he stood, the wizard that held her heart in his hands, whether he realized it or not.
"You do not look well," he said gravely.
He glanced around the room, noted the untouched food, the freshly made bed. He looked up into her eyes. They darted around, and she fidgeted, clearly nervous. Her hair looked like a haystack, a living entity of its own. She must have been running her hands through it, as she normally did whenever she was agitated.
"Hermione."
She held herself still for a moment, staring into his eyes.
"Yes?"
"Things have changed," he surmised.
She nodded. "Moreso than even you realize."
He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Just what is it that you think I do not know?"
She bit her lip. "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell anyone; really it's all rubbish anyway. It can't be real."
Snape crossed the room and sat next to her. "Albus told me you had the choice of whether to inform me or not."
Hermione didn't hesitate. "Apparently, I am not Muggleborn. My father and mother aren't my father and mother at all, but people sent to guard me; from what I don't know."
"I'd suspected as much from your records and recent events, but go on."
"I am not even fully human."
"What do you mean?"
"Apparently, I am born of a Siren."
He stood up quickly and took two, stumbling steps backward. "What? Is that what they told you?"
"Yes, they told me I was born of a Siren, and of Merlin; the Merlin. I don't believe that for an instant."
Severus found his way to a chair and sat down, his face pinched and drawn.
"Are you all right?"
He did not answer, but stared at her, as though the sight of her was painful. At long last, he let loose a great breath. "I must go, now. Ms. Granger, Hermione, please try to eat and get some sleep. You'll need it."
"No. Wait, Severus. You don't believe that, do you?"
"What I believe is inconsequential just now."
"What do you mean?"
He smiled sardonically. "I always knew there was something off about you; something that drew me in like a moth to a flame. How I've hated you over the years…"
His confession stung.
"You were so, unfailingly perfect. You were brilliant, beautiful, and passionate. You were loyal to a fault. I hated you for all of those Gryffindor traits with an intensity that was all consuming. But what I hated the most about you, the thing that I could not forgive you for, the reason I was so hard on you for so long, was the simple fact that I cared, about you, and for you. You had no right to be in my heart, and I hated myself for allowing you to penetrate the barriers I'd built up for over twenty years. And just when I think I am rid of you, so that the very sight of you will no longer cause me physical pain, you choose to be a teaching assistant, my teaching assistant. I know I've been harsh, and cruel. I've done things, and said things to you that were inexcusable, trying to make you leave me alone, to my inner torment. But you refused. You forgave me. You showed up day after day, and I could not help it. When I thought you'd drowned in that dratted lake… it was reminiscent of the worst thing I've ever gone through, perhaps even more terrible. So when Albus revealed that he knew you were alive, and well, I did something I hadn't thought myself capable of. I had to see you with my own eyes, and so he brought me here, to this cursed place, and I knocked on the door, and you let me in. You let me touch you, you let me kiss you. You proclaimed that you wanted me. It is too much, this perfection. And now I know why. Your blood calls to all men, whether you like it or not. And I was foolish enough to believe that all of this was real. Once again, my life is reduced to lies."
Hermione sat there, stunned, completely and thoroughly. She'd never heard him speak of his feelings, admitting his weaknesses, and in his own way, apologizing. He owed her no explanation, but gave it anyway. He cared for her, and he hated her for that. He'd wanted to push her away. He thought that what he felt wasn't real, that her blood explained all of it away.
She refused to allow it.
"Severus, my blood does not dictate my heart, or my feelings. I care for you, and I forgive you everything."
He regarded her silently, his face a stoic mask. "It cannot be."
"It is."
She took the few steps that separated them and knelt at his feet. "No matter what I am, or who I am, or what I've been… I know that I love you. Please, believe me. This is real."
"I find myself at a loss, Ms. Granger. I have no doubt that you believe yourself to be in love with me, the sincerity is there in your eyes. But it does not change my circumstance. How can I know if my feelings are real, or simply a compulsion?"
She stared at the floor, willing herself to withhold the tears that were again threatening release.
He took her hand and tilted her chin up. "I must consult Albus, and Gellert both. They obviously know more than they've told you, and I will find out everything they know."
Hermione's head was spinning but she knew that something wasn't right."Be careful. Grindelwald is dangerous."
"I will not underestimate him. Albus has a blindspot for him, but I do not. I want to know what it is they are planning."
"What makes you think they're planning something?"
"The fact that they told you, proves it. They want to use you."
"Grindelwald thinks that there is darkness within me, that I will choose to study Dark magic."
"Merlin's magic was Dark, and the Sirens are evil creatures. But you… you've never shown any indication, or interest in the Dark Arts. I don't think that will start now. I will go to them now. If for some reason I do not remember this conversation, I want you to inform me of it, later; once you're out of here. Do you understand?"
"You think they'll wipe your memory?"
"It is likely that they will try once they hear what I have to say. Whether or not they succeed remains to be seen."
"Please be careful. Severus, I do love you."
He hesitated for a moment before he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Then, he left in a flurry of robes.
Hermione curled up on the floor. She could no longer hold the tears inside. She sobbed, her chest constricting painfully. He cared for her, the same way that she cared for him, but now, there was this stupid lie that was forcing them apart. It was cruel that the world would give her heart's greatest wish, and then take it away almost immediately. If only she hadn't known what it was like to be in his arms, to have his lips on hers…
She had no idea how much time had passed but eventually she forced herself up from the floor. She stumbled to the bed and fell on top of the covers before closing her weary eyes.
Maybe this had all been a dream.