AN: I haven't updated for 2 months. *is disappointed with self* You all have permission to stab me, kk? This chapter is very...not funny. I've been writing more serious stuff lately, and my funny gene seems to have been turned off. I skipped through most of chapter 13, because it's so fucking boring. And yes, this is damn short. I am annoyed—very annoyed. I just...can't seem to be funny anymore.

Katniss needed alcohol. Lots of it. Good alcohol. Bad alcohol. Fermented alcohol. Bad-smelling alcohol. Pink-dyed alcohol. Alcohol laced with feces. It didn't matter.

But unfortunately, alcohol costs money, and she had left her purse at home. As Katniss began to ask random hobos on the street for money that could be used toward her acquirement of alcohol, a strong hand grabbed her forearm.

Right. It was probably a rapist, pedophile, or Winnie the Pooh turned creepy.

"Who are you?" she said as she struggled against the offending hand. She saw a uniform flash before her eyes before she got hit in the back of the head hard. Katniss flinched. "What was that for?" she demanded.

"Sorry, ma'am, we were, um, ordered to take you," a male voice said. Katniss saw that her captor was a blonde Peacekeeper. Just as Katniss made the decision to kick him in the balls, another Peacekeeper, black-haired this time, took her other arm, surprising her and inhibiting her escape tactic, if it could even be called as such.

"I guess you're not Winnie the Pooh?" Her voice was vaguely disappointed—only if it was because she wanted to steal his honey and take it for herself.

"Nope."

"Not even a pedophile version of Winnie the Pooh?"

"No, sorry."

"And you don't have pink hair dye?"

They shook their heads.

What was the use in Peacekeepers if they were hair-dye-less non-Winnie posers? All they were good for was, like, patting their heads. And she proceeded to do just that. Luckily, her heels were high, or she wouldn't have reached their heads at all.

"Can we take you and leave now?" one of them said awkwardly. Apparently, he did not respond well to having his head patted. Katniss wondered how his mother had put up with him. Everyone should like to have their head patted.

"Well, I actually need to get my spoon first..." Katniss trailed off, looking at the Peacekeepers with widened Bambi eyes.

"We," he paused to cough in a fake manner, "have a pie eating contest in an hour so we really have to get going." He said this all in a rush, and afterward, his cheeks flushed a bright red.

Katniss stamped her foot in response. "Let me get my best friend first," she demanded.

The Peacekeepers looked at each other and shrugged at this ridiculous request. Who would want to bring their best friend along to possibly get killed by the Capitol? Apparently, Katniss.

"Um, uh, the president just told us to bring you, so..." He scratched his head, wondering what he should do.

"But I want my friend," Katniss hissed.

The Peacekeepers finally relented and Katniss ran inside her house, happy that she had convinced them to listen to her. She saw Sue-Mary lying conveniently on the kitchen table and she squealed as she ran over. She grabbed the spoon's handle and ran outside again. "Okay! We can go now!" she exclaimed.

The men raised their eyebrows, wondering if Katniss knew that she was walking toward her doom. Probably not. And why the hell was she holding a spoon?

"I thought you, uh, were going to get your best friend?" one of the men asked.

Katniss placed her hands on her hips and accidentally stabbed herself with Sue-Mary, as the spoon was still in her left hand. "Sue-Mary is my best friend!" she protested.

"The spoon?"

"I'm so glad you understand!" gushed Katniss.

With that, the Peacekeepers looked at each other, shrugged again, and picked her up easily. They made sure to steer clear of the spoon, thinking that it may have magical dark powers of magicality—for how else had it convinced a perfectly intelligent being to be its friend? Katniss knew that she was supposed to be planning her escape. She sure as hell didn't want to go back to the Games and possibly get killed. But as the Peacekeepers dragged her away, all she could think about was the fact that there was gum on the back of her shoe that looked like Elvis Presley's face.

She was nothing if not quick-thinking.

"Wait, isn't there supposed to be a reaping?" she yelled, struggling in the Peacekeepers' arms. They looked at each other once then shrugged.

"We don't know, sorry. There, uh, was just this fat guy who told us to get you even if you didn't want to go," one of the men said.

"Did he happen to have breath that smelled like roses and chubby cheeks?" Katniss asked them. She stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at the Peacekeepers. She refused to move until given an answer.

"Um...yes?" the Peacekeeper answered.

"Did he happen to be called President Snow?" Katniss wondered why the Peacekeepers didn't know who they were working under, especially since he appeared on TV about once every day. Katniss should know. He interrupted her specials on the Mockingjay Channel all the time with "important" news. One time, she had been learning how to make knitted sweaters for mockingjays—she was also stabbing herself with the needle, but that was beside the point.

He had interrupted with one of his ubiquitous announcements showing District 13 and what was there now. Why couldn't he interrupt the show with hot guys dancing in their underwear instead? She may have actually appreciated it.

But no, the reporter-person-thing wasn't even hot. And it showed Snow's face at the end.

"Actually, he said his name was Leslie or something," the blonde Peacekeeper replied. He shrugged.

"Leslie Snow?" Katniss inquired.

"All he said was that his name was Leslie." The Peacekeeper looked irritated now. "Now, let's go." He grabbed her arm, making her drop Sue-Mary onto the ground.

Before she knew it, a random kid on the street had picked up the spoon and was running away with her. Katniss tried to run after the boy, but in her tall heels, she tripped and fell. She was lucky that she didn't sprain her ankle. In front of her eyes, she saw her best friend being forcibly taken away. Halfway gone, the kid turned back and stuck his tongue out at Katniss, seeing her pathetic state as a heap on the ground.

Katniss widened her eyes in shock.

Sue.

Mary.

Was.

Gone.

Katniss blinked, not comprehending what had just happened. Some random kid had just stolen her only friend.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she began to realize that she would never see Sue-Mary ever again. Everevereverever—

"Why did this have to happen to me why couldn't it have happened to like Miley Cyrus instead?" Katniss shrieked in a rush at no one. She was friendless—except for Gale, but seeing as she wanted to wallow in self-pity, she pushed that thought out of her mind—and alone in the world. She was crying profusely, and she would like to believe that they were pink tears. Because pink tears were cool.

In Katniss' crying fit, the two Peacekeepers managed to get her onto a train headed for the Capitol. When she was thrown in, she could see that Peeta was there as well. He was cowering against a seat, counting his fingers over and over again. Whenever he got to 10, he would go back and start over. He seemed entranced.

"Hi, Peeta," Katniss said tentatively. She poked his shoulder.

"Katniss!" he screamed. He jumped up and gave her a huge bear hug, somehow not stopping his counting. It was awkward for Katniss because Peeta's mouth was really close to her ear and she had to hear him count from one to ten repeatedly.

After a while, Katniss finally pulled away. "I have to go, um, dye my hair pink now."

Peeta's eyes began tearing up. "No, Katniss! Stay!"

"Promise not to hug me again?"

"Pwomise." Peeta grinned toothily.

Katniss sat down on the train reluctantly, making sure to stay as far from Peeta as possible. There was an awkward silence. "Peeta...why did they pick you and not Haymitch?" Katniss asked. "Or did you actually get reaped, and it was actually random?"

"No. Haymitch and I played Monopoly. He was banker and he got to pay himself money for the job, so he won." Peeta nodded seriously. "It was a game well-played. I lasted 5 minutes without going bankrupt! Aren't you proud of me, Katniss?" Peeta looked around. "Where's Sue-Mary?"

Katniss was once again hit with the realization that her friend was gone.

She began shrieking again, holding a high-pitched wail much longer than humanly possible.

Peeta shrugged and started screaming too, jumping on the bandwagon just for the heck of it.

It was fun.

AN: My music taste has only gotten progressively stranger. It's gotten heavier, but a lot more pop-ish too. So yah... I have no idea. I was going to update this sooner. But...I got sidetracked by my fangirling of Andy Six.

I actually don't even like the Black Veil Brides, except for two songs. O.O

But Anddddyyyyyy...

*squeals*

Apparently, my fangirl side is scary. *shrugs*

Review?