Chapter 25

Axel was really just on a walk to stretch his legs, though he was glad of it in a few moments. Xion's voice came calling after him.

"Axel! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you."

He spun round to face her, eyes wide with worry. He hoped the looking everywhere for you was just an expression. The idea of her wandering around the World that Never Was, and worse, running into people, sent chills down his spine. What was she? Crazy?

"Xion!? Why are you here?" It was an effort to keep the panic out of his voice, but he was able to speak in a hushed shout as she neared him, rather than shouting in full. No need to draw further attention to her. They were lucky in the fact that this area wasn't exactly public—but it wasn't exactly private, either.

Xion paused only to catch her breath. She must've been looking for him for a while if she was that tired. The thought made him cringe. "Listen, Axel, I- I want you to turn me into the Organization," she said each word as if they were a chore, but Axel got the feeling it wasn't because she was hesitant.

"You… what? Xion, that's suicide!"

"Exactly."

She looked at him with an expression of stone. The heart he wasn't supposed to have caught in his chest.

"Y- you can't be serious, Xion!" He wouldn't believe she was. She couldn't be serious about this. He glanced around, half hoping to find Roxas, ready to jump out and tell him this was an elaborate prank. But even Roxas wouldn't joke about this.

"I'm- dead serious," Xion replied. "Please. Axel. Help?"

He swallowed. Looked at her sideways, then folded his arms over his chest. "Well, sure, let me just—no!" This was infuriating. She was infuriating. How could she think she could just walk up to him and ask him to kill her, basically? Because that's what she was asking. The next words he ground out were bitter. "If you want to die so badly, then just throw yourself off the damn clock tower. I mean, excuse me for saving you that last time."

Xion shook her head.

"No, I don't want this to look like a suicide. Roxas would never forgive me."

That was all Axel could take. He grabbed Xion by the shoulders, hands tightening around her, resisting the urge to shake some sense into her.

"Then live for him."

Xion stared.

Lowered her head.

Sighed.

"Axel, please… please…" Her voice cracked. "I- I can't. I- I have a pain in my side that hasn't gone away for a month, I've. I've got. Can't stand without getting woozy, can't- think straight." She was trembling, and she looked up at him with pleading eyes. "I can't think. I can't remember, I can't—"

Axel shook his head back at her, squeezing her shoulders. So many things were bursting in his chest, but he couldn't decide which to say. He let go of her and threw his hands down, chewing his tongue until he settled on:

"I'm not giving you a gun, Xion."

Xion stared at him for a long moment, then took a deep breath.

"…fine."

She turned.

She walked away.

Irritated, Axel almost let her go. If she wanted to get herself killed, then fine! But he wanted no part of it. Except… It was hard, watching her go. He was fond enough of her, and certainly didn't really wish death on her. Besides, if she left, if the Organization killed her, Roxas would never trust them again. He'd really try to run, then, and that would definitely get him killed.

"Xion! Wait!" Axel called, after her. His throat was dry.

She paused, but did not turn. Axel hesitated a moment, then growled. If she was forcing him to this, then fine—He stepped towards her, reaching out and grabbing her by the arm before she could get far. "Xion, you can't do this!"

Slowly, she turned to him, not resisting against his grip.

Her brows knit together.

"Can't do… what?" she asked.

He stared.

Was this another joke? Not that her first demand had been a joke, but—this was a pretty cruel joke, if it was one. Acting like she didn't know. He dropped her arm.

"C'mon Xion, don't give me that. This isn't funny."

She stared blankly back at him.

"Give you… what? What are you talking about?" She frowned hard, then shook her head, an almost pleasant expression crossing her features. "Good thing I found you, though. I wanted to ask—"

It hit him, then, what was happening. She'd forgotten she'd asked.

"You already asked!" he told her, shouted at her.

She paused.

"Oh."

Another pause.

"What was… your… answer?"

"NO!" He was yelling before she could finish. "I'm not helping you!"

What had been a hopeful expression fell into one that was murderous.

"Oh. That's un- un… that's…" She sniffed, stopping there. It was as if she couldn't get her tongue to shape the word. "Fine then." She started off.

"Xion please," Axel called after her again. "Please, for Roxas, please don't do this." It hurt to beg, but she'd left him with no other choice.

She didn't seem to hear him, though. Or to care. Which, Axel wasn't sure—he only knew as much as he'd been told about her condition, which, as he was realizing now, was frighteningly not enough. Forgetting a conversation you'd just had wasn't natural. How much else was it affecting?

"What about the beach? You seemed so excited to go…"

She rounded on him. "But you can't figure out a time to go!"

"Well." Axel grit his teeth. "Well, I mean, playing hooky isn't that easy. Roxas could get in serious trouble for not doing his missions. Trust me, I- I want this to work, I want to go, but until I come up with a reasonable excuse for Roxas to have not done his missions…"

He was hoping that Roxas would get a day with a few easy missions soon, that he could just blow through. That, or some really powerful Heartless that Roxas could put off fighting and just say it'd been too hard for him. It wasn't ideal, but it would be believable. That's all they needed.

Xion rubbed at her head, face scrunched up in pain. She staggered where she stood.

"Axel… please… I just want… want to…"

"Just wait, Xion." Axel swore he felt like he was going to cry, even though he knew it was absurd, even though he knew he couldn't. "At least- At least wait until…" He snapped his fingers, trying to pull up the number of the Vexen that Roxas had mentioned. "7? He's working on a cure for you, right?"

"He's not getting anywhere…"

"Roxas says otherwise."

Xion just rolled her eyes.

Axel licked his lips. He could almost feel the tears in his eyes. "Xion, just wait until 7 has something working, please. Just- just wait another week." Had Roxas said it should only be another week? Axel didn't know, but he had to keep talking, had to convince Xion not to head to Saix and hand herself over. "7 should have something by then. It shouldn't be long. Just wait until then, Xion, and- and then we'll go to the beach as celebration. Regardless of missions. And then… then you can do whatever…. I won't argue with you anymore."

He said that, but he did not promise that. And even if he had promised, he would've broken it in a heartbeat. Promises were made to be broken. Words were said to get what you needed, and he just needed Xion to live.

"It won't… make… any dif- difference…" Xion's voice was small.

"Just another week," Axel repeated. "Alright?" It wasn't so much to ask. "Roxas really wanted to go to the beach with you."

Xion hesitated for a long moment, hugging herself tightly.

"Al… alright."

"Promise me, Xion."

He couldn't trust her, otherwise. To him, promises meant nothing. But to her?

"Promise, Axel."

"Then get out of here before you're spotted!"

She laughed, emptily, and formed a dark corridor.

Axel sighed and raked a hand through his hair. That'd been exhausting. Why was his stomach clenched so hard, anyway? He wasn't supposed to care about this sort of stuff anymore…

xxx

Seeing Roxas was the next order of business—thankfully, Roxas was in his room. He yelled at Axel for not knocking, and Axel brushed it off with an insincere apology. There were more important things than Roxas's privacy right now.

He couldn't tell Roxas what he and Xion had talked about, but he had to do something.

"You are trying to go somewhere special with Xion every day, right?" he asked, before Roxas could say anything. Roxas looked up from flipping through his journal, really looked up now, a troubled expression on his face.

"As much as I can," he replied. "Missions only leave me with so much time, but we've visited somewhere pretty nice every day. I tend to just take her somewhere exciting I noticed on a mission…" He shook his head, closing his journal. He seemed very distressed. "It's just… It's hard to plan something exciting when you've only got an hour to do them—if that. She can hardly stay standing for 15 minutes…"

Axel swallowed. He didn't want to think about how bad Xion's condition was.

"Maybe you should stop by the beach," he suggested. "I know it's not the same if you can't get a full day, but… It's harder than I want it to be to figure out a good way for you to get away with playing hooky."

Roxas thought about it for a long moment. "Maybe… Maybe I will," he agreed. He nodded to himself. "I'm not sure if she'd even last a full day, anyway…"

"Good! Take her tomorrow."

"I will!" Roxas looked up at Axel. "What about you? Do you want to come?"

Axel scratched the back of his neck. "I… we'll see." It would depend on his own missions for the day, among other things. "I make no promises."

"Well, we can all go another time," Roxas said. He grinned at Axel. "Do you promise that?"

Axel hesitated. "Uh… yeah."