Peeta got dragged away again. I sit alone again. My head is on the table. Nobody bothers me. I can feel my breathing start to get shallower and I drift in and out of consciousness. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I jump and look up, whipping around. It's one of Peeta's friends. "You should come over with us." She says. "Hi. I'm Caitlin." She sticks her hand out.
"Um...hi…" I shake her head, rubbing my eyes.
"Have you seen Peeta though? We haven't been able to find him."
"I thought he was with you guys." I yawn, stretching.
"No. We thought he was with you. Everyone did, actually. Then we saw you right here. Nobody has seen him in an hour."
I can't help it when I start worrying.
"Your mother looked all over the house and he's not here. His car is here though, which doesn't make sense."
I stare at her for a moment and then stand up. "I'll go find him." I stretch, grabbing my phone from my dress pocket and walking out the front door. I turn on my flashlight and wander down the street.
It doesn't take very long. He's sitting at the edge of the cliff with his head in his hands. I shut off my flashlight.
"What's wrong?" I sit down next to him.
"I have to tell you something." He sniffs. I look at him as he drops his hands and raises his eyes to mine. He isn't crying. I think he's getting sick.
"Okay." I reach for his hand but he doesn't give it to me.
"Jordan and I kissed." He blurts. A stab of pain hits me. "Well that came out wrong. She kissed me. I pushed her off. She got me in the bathroom and she started taking her clothes off." He bites his lip. "I ran. I know you hate me, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt her. She almost got me out of my boxers. I'm sorry Katniss. I swear to god, I'm sorry." His voice cracks and I see a tear slip down his cheek.
"Oh baby." I whisper.
"No. I can't watch you break."
"Peeta." He starts to get up but I grab his hand and pull him back down. "Peeta, obviously you didn't want it to happen." I scoot closer. "Don't cry. God, please don't cry." I wipe his tears. "I'm not upset.
"You're not?" He sniffs.
"No baby, not at all." I cup his cheeks. "But who's Jordan?"
"She's a girl I used to be friends with. She used to like me and she tried to have sex with me before. I got her off but..." He shakes his head. "She was all over me. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, baby. Let's go home." I stand up. He stands up too and brushes my ass off.
"There you are!" Mrs. Mellark says when Peeta and I walk into the house. "Where did you go?"
Peeta whispers to his mother what happened and I see her eyes flick across the room to a brunette. I drop his hand and walk across the house. Everyone is partying. I see Peeta from the corner of my eye watching me in panic. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns around and fakes a smile.
"Hi-"
"Are you Jordan?" I cut her off. Her eyes flicker a bit of panic.
"Yes, why?" She asks.
"You need to leave." I say.
"Why?" She looks angry.
"Bitch," I say, a bit too loudly. "Don't play blond. You know why! Get the hell out of this house or I'll drag you by the hair." I threaten.
"Would you explain to me what I did?"
We're not exactly being quiet and everyone is watching us in silent. "Your a whore. That basically sums it up." She raises her hand to slap me but I take a step back.
"Get out." I grit my teeth. "I'll kick your fucking ass."
She looks at Peeta and flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Oh please. He liked it. He told me."
I laugh. "I've pushed every limit without breaking the rules. He never says he likes it, and bitch, I know what he likes." I grab her wrist and pull her to the door.
"How am I a whore?" She asks.
I stop with my hand on the door.
"Do you want me to answer that question honestly?"
"Yes." She says.
"Kissing on my man. Losing your virginity before marriage."
"How do you know that?"
"Your waddling. I bet you lost it last night." I open the door and shove her out. "If I see your face again I'll send an arrow through your skull." I slam the door and lock it.
Peeta isn't there when I turn around. I nod at the DJ and he starts the music again.
"He went upstairs Katniss." Mrs. Mellark says. I nod and walk away, up the stairs to our bedroom. He's lying face down. I close the door and walk over to him.
"You need to leave me alone. We shouldn't even be together. I cheated on you. I'm breaking up with you." He sits up.
I stare at him. "We're not breaking up." I say.
"Yes we are." He stands up. "Can I have the ring please? I would let you keep it but it was my Great grandmas and I need to have it back." He says.
"No." I say. "You didn't cheat on me. She did that. That wasn't you. You didn't want that, did you?"
He shakes his head. "Katniss please don't making this harder." He begs.
"Just hear me out. If you still want to leave after, I will give you the ring."
He sighs but remains silent. "Jordan was the one that kissed you. She's the one that almost got your dick from your boxers. She's the one. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I just want you to be happy and you can't be happy with a cheating bastard."
"The only place I'm happy is with you." I whisper. He stares at me.
"Please Peeta. Don't end us. Don't let her win. She's wrong. Don't do this. You didn't cheat. You didn't, really you didn't. Please don't go."
He stares at me for a long time. "You know..." He looks down at the bedside table. "When I was a kid I was a rule breaker. I'm good at breaking rules and I'm an excellent liar." He says. "I want to be a rule breaker with you."
"What do you mean?" I whisper. He walks over to me.
"I want you. I don't want it to be me making you feel good, or you making me feel good. I want it to be both of us joined together. I want it to be us at the same time."
"Peeta I don't want to yet." I whisper. "Well I want to but..." I take a deep breath. "We can't. I'm not breaking this rule." He stares at me for a while.
"Okay." He sighs.
"Don't go."
"I won't." He whispers.
"Promise?" I ask quietly.
He leans down and places a careful kiss on my lips. "I promise."
We go back downstairs, and I notice he follows me everywhere I go. His fingers stay linked in mine.
I'm talking to my Grandmother and the rest of my family that I haven't seen in a while. Peeta drops my hand and I start to miss his warmth right away. He doesn't walk away like I thought he was going to.
"Wait, so you went to Paris and realized that the song went viral?" My cousin who is sixteen, Christina asks. I nod. Peeta stars taking out my braid. My eyes flick to him and he isn't paying attention to anything.
"Yes. And then I found out about the whole Ellen thing." I sigh. He grabs my wrist and puts the hair tie on it. "And I went and did the concert and then I went on the show. The next thing I know I'm making an album, I'm engaged and the whole world is obsessed with the 'girl with a voice like an angel'. I think it's overrated." I shrug.
"But it's not." Peeta interjects. "You just have a hard time seeing the effect you have on people."
"I agree." Christina says. "I would love to have your voice."
"I don't know..." I hesitate.
"You don't have to. We decided for you." Peeta smiles. He finishes getting out my braid and starts running his fingers through my hair. Johanna, drunk, walks past us.
"Pussy whipped." She says. Then she keeps walking like she was never even there. I roll my eyes.
It was directed at Peeta.
"Am I pussy whipped?" Peeta asks.
"Um." I look down. He sighs and releases my hair.
"Well that's about to change." He walks away.
Audrey tugs my hand. My family walks away, clearly bored with our conversation. I turn to face her and see her entire face is red and she is crying. "Will you chaperone my field trip next Friday?" She sniffs. "Everyone is saying no! We only need two more to go to Disney and nobody can find nobody!" She stops her foot. "Peas Katnus? Peas?"
I can never tell Audrey no. I squat down in front of her and take the permission slip.
Destination: Walk Disney Land
When: Friday, January forth, 2013
Special Instructions: The busses will be leaving at 6 am sharp. The students are asked to be at school at five thirty. School originally starts at 8;05, but they are to be there early. We will be getting back at 6 pm and it is expected of parents to be there to get their children. We need twenty chaperons. To chaperone you must come to the front office. The children need to bring lunch or bring money. The chaperons will be in charge of the children's money.
Name: Audrey Alyssa Williams
Parent/Guardian Signature: _
"I'll go see what I work. Then I'll talk to Peeta." I kiss her head and walk over to Haymitch. "Do I work on Friday?" I ask. He eyes me for a moment, thinking.
"I think you have to be in the studio but let me check." He pulls out his phone. After a couple seconds he answers. "You have to be in the studio."
I sigh. "Well I need Friday off."
"You can't take Friday off! It's the last day to wok on the album! You need to record two songs!"
"Well I'm going on a field trip with Audrey." I say.
"You can't. You have to work. You finish to he album Friday!"
"Fine."
...8...
Peeta won't even look at me because he seems to think that he can't talk to me in order not to be pussy whipped.
Im falling asleep again.
"What's wrong?" Mama sits down next to me.
"Tired. And Peeta's ignoring me ."
She frowns. "Why?"
"Because Jo called him pussy whipped. He said it was going to change and now he's gone and he won't even look at me." I sigh.
"Oh." She frowns. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I say. I put my head back down. She walks away after a bit.
...9...
Hands are on my shoulders and lips are on my cheek. I panic and snap my head up. "Did you fall asleep?" Peeta asks.
"I'm tired." I mumble.
"I feel terrible." He mumbles. "I left you alone. I was thinking...who gives a shit if I'm pussy whipped. I love you. That's all that matters."
I say nothing, I just put my head back on the table as a yawn escapes my lips. I want to go to bed. I was up at four this morning because I had to go to the studio and then to Ellen and I'm still exhausted. He opens his arms for me to hug him but I just shake my head because I'm exhausted.
"I love you too." He whispers.
...2...
Peeta is staying with me this time. He's keeping me awake by talking to me and tickling me when I start to drift.
"I love you." He says when he sees my eyes closing again, tickling my sides until I'm breathless from laughing.
"I love you too." I lean closer to him and place a kiss on his lips. He deepens it for a moment and pulls away and stands up, placing three more kisses on my lips.
"I'll be back." He kisses me for the forth time and walks away.
I get my 5s from the pocket in my dress and press the hold button, pressing my finger to the button until it unlocks. I see I have a message on twitter, so I click on the app.
Oh god, I forgot I messaged Colbie Calliat for Alexis!
I go to messages to see she replied.
Katniss Everdeen. Wow, this is an honor. I would just call you but we only have this as communication and I think that putting our numbers
She runs out of characters so starts another message.
On twitter is a terrible idea. How about we meet somewhere. Are you free at say...noon tomorrow? At Starbucks?
I start typing.
I can do that. Which Starbucks?
10955 Weyburn
I nod even though she can't see me.
Okay I know where that is. See you then.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
I look over my shoulder to make sure nobody is watching and then I get up and walk out of the house and down the street where I'm not likely to be found.
Then I call Alexis.
"Hello?" She asks.
"Alexis? It's Katniss."
"Oh, hi." She says.
"Look, I know it's late there, like one in the morning or something, but Colbie Calliat just answered me."
"She did? Really?"
"Yes, she did."
"And?" She asks hopefully.
"Well we can't exchange numbers on twitter because it's not safe so I'm meeting her tomorrow at noon at Starbucks."
"In LA?" She asks.
"Yes, why?"
"Oh I'm just trying to get a visual." She laughs.
...9...
It's three in the morning her time and midnight here. We're still jabbering away. I can tell we're great friends. We have a lot in common. "So whats it like doing an album?"
"It's long and tiring." I sigh.
"I'm still struggling to get noticed." She grumbles.
"I can help you out." I say. "It takes three words. My friend is awesome. Then they'll be questioning like crazy."
"Katniss!" Peeta sounds like he's about to scream. He looks unkempt, his hair disheveled, his breath irrational, his clothes look sweaty and his eyes look dark and worry filled.
"You can really do that?" Alexis asks.
"Yes I can. I'll do it Friday. I go on Ellen that day, or...I don't know no just know I go on Ellen or Jimmy Fallon. I don't know what day."
"Who is that?" Peeta asks.
"I have to go." I say.
"Okay. Bye." she says.
"Bye." I hang up.
"Where have you been?" He asks.
"Walking and talking." I frown. He curses and runs his fingers through his messy hair.
"Do you realize it's midnight and that you've been walking and talking for three hours?"
"We'll more like pacing..." I bite my lip.
He states at me. "Katniss I haven't been able to get a hold of you for three hours." He looks like he's really been freaking out.
"I'm sorry." I whisper.
"Who were you talking to anyways?" He asks, his voice softer.
"Alexis..."
"Peterson? Alexis Olivia Peterson? Rye's Alexis?"
"Yes." I kick a stone.
"Why?"
"Because...I can't tell you right now. I'll tell you after everyone leaves."
"Everyone is out looking for you." He admits.
"Why?" I ask, kicking another rock off the edge of the cliff.
"Katniss you've been gone for three hours and your car was still here. Obviously you were on foot. Either that or someone took you, which is what I've been worry about. I thought someone came and grabbed you. God Kat...I was so scared." He pulls me into a hug so tight that I struggle to breath. I plant a kiss on his cheek.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know baby." I mumble. "I didn't know I had been gone that long." I shiver because it's cold out here, probably in the low fifties.
"Let's go home." He says, noting I have no jacket. He takes his jacket off.
"No Peeta." I reject his coat.
"Yes." He says. "Put it on."
"No." I say stubbornly.
"Yes. Right now."
I love when he commands me. "I don't want-"
"Now."
I sigh sharply and grab the jacket. He puts his hands on my arms.
"I don't want you to get sick." He whispers.
"I think it's sexy when you tell me what to do." I pull the jacket on the rest of the way. "Then again...your just sexy in general."