Guest - yeah, I mentioned her, but I also mentioned they were at Hiccup's house and Mrs Hofferson doesn't just turn up at his place, they're safe there!
-HTTYD-
He wasn't ashamed or embarrassed of his girlfriends, but Hiccup would be lying if he wasn't a bit nervous; the Jorgensons weren't exactly the easiest family members to introduce anyone too, even less so when they were given a reason to start drinking at midday. Astrid and Lillian hopped out of his car, both looking gorgeous as sunshine lit up their smiles.
"You sure you're ready for this?"
"More like are you sure they are ready for us?"
Hiccup smiled along with them; if they were ready then he was too. Lillian squeezed his hand before letting go, Astrid taking his other hand as they headed in. He'd had to talk the twins out of dressing identically. And talk Astrid out of wearing that 'I'm Horny' t-shirt, although he conceded it would have been quite funny.
Still, Lillian looked much better in his hoody than Hiccup would have done, and Astrid was wearing Lillian's favourite jumper. Nobody else would understand, but Hiccup did; they were carrying a little of someone they had to quiet the connection with at that moment - Astrid was his only public girlfriend, and the twins certainly could not publicise their relationship. Still, they were there together, and when they headed back later they could be free to be three again.
"Anyone we should watch out for?"
"How do you mean?"
"I don't know. Weird uncle who gets too close? Cousin who doesn't hear 'I'm not interested'?"
Hiccup frowned. Was that the sort of thing people worried about at parties with their family?
"If anyone in our family acted that way, well, they wouldn't be in the family much longer and lets leave it at that. If my cousins are drunk, they might keep trying but honestly, I wouldn't bring you here if you weren't safe here."
"Well, lucky you. Mind you, we haven't had to tolerate a family party for a while. This can't be worse."
He chuckled.
"I'd say you're a pessimist, but I know the people you're about to meet. Come on, before my mother realises we're hiding out here."
Bracing himself, Hiccup led them up to the house, winding through a few motorcycles and pick up trucks, past a couple of more expensive sets of wheels to the open door that would lead them out to the back yard. His grandfathers old farmland was long out of use growing, but spacious enough that the full family could pour in, set up a barbecue the size of a car and drink until they could barely stand.
"Hiccup!"
It took only a minute for Hiccup to be noticed and leapt upon by a nearby relative, almost knocking Lillian over in the process and dislodging his hand from Astrid's.
"Heyyyy Alvin" he wasn't totally sure how they were related, but he turned up to every party and most of his cousins called Alvin 'uncle', so Hiccup rolled with it and tried not to collapse under the weight of an arm the width of his torso "how's it going?"
The twins were looking at Hiccup being crushed by Alvin's heavy arm with wide eyes, possibly realising Hiccup had not been exaggerating. Finally wriggling free, Hiccup nudged Alvin off of him and was relieved to watch him amble off toward more alcohol, dragging air back into his lungs.
"I see my mother, hopefully she'll hide me from more relatives."
Laughing, Astrid and Lillian followed him over to where Valka was standing, skillfully dodging several people and opting to ignore the stares until he'd greeted his mother.
"Hey mom."
"Hiccup! And of course, Astrid and Lillian. I'm so glad you both agreed to come."
"Well, that makes one of us."
Valka rolled her eyes at him, scolding with little venom.
"Behave. You love them really."
"If you say so. Do they know you based a pack of rabid wild dragons on the Jorgensons?"
Soon laughing amongst themselves, Hiccup felt heavy blunt fingers rap at his shoulder, he and the twins both turning around to find several people staring.
"Are they twins or are we all so drunk there's two of them?"
Hiccup didn't get chance to answer before Lillian piped up, smile playing at the edge of her mouth.
"Wait, are they trying to say we look alike? That's news to me."
"Me too Lils. I mean, we couldn't look more different."
He could hear his mother stifling giggles as Scott and a few others all shared looks, squinting at the twins more intently as though differences would suddenly show themselves. Hiccup had to bite the inside of his cheek not to crack up laughing himself.
"Riiiight."
They left, still scratching their collective head and glancing back until Hiccup had to turn away to not be seen laughing, Astrid and Lillian not far behind on that.
"Never can resist a confused drunk."
"Yeah. Could we be more identical?"
Hiccup had intimate knowledge of all the little variations between the two, but most he couldn't bring up in front of other people.
"Well, you have different freckles, so I guess technically yes, yes you could."
"We do?"
"Yeah. Your freckles are pretty light though, so I doubt anyone else notices that."
Astrid and Lillian shared a glance - Hiccup envisioned them comparing freckles in the mirror later - before shrugging and turning back to look at the slowly growing audience of people trying to work out if Hiccup was standing with identical twins. Rolling his eyes at his family, Hiccup took Astrid's hand.
"Food?"
"Yes! Food is good."
Once the shock had worn off, Hiccup rightly predicted people actually approaching where he stood with Lillian, laughing as Astrid attempted to squeeze more types of meat than strictly advisable between two pieces of bun.
"Hey Hiccup?"
"Yes Tuffnut?"
Tuff leant forward, as though imparting a very private secret.
"Are they twins?"
"Yes Tuff, they are."
"Wow! Cool! Hi. I'm a twin too. My sister is around here somewhere."
Astrid, with a mouthful of meat, could only nod at Tuff as he babbled, Lillian glancing sideways at Hiccup in that way he was used to when people first met Tuff - the 'is he always like this?' stare, which went right along with Tuff's tangent about whether or not he could reach the moon with a high enough ladder.
"Well, nice meeting you guys but I have to go make sure my chicken hasn't been cooked, I never trust a Jorgenson..."
Hiccup could only shrug at his girlfriends when they looked to him for some kind of explanation of what they had just witnessed.
"I did tell you today would be an experience."
Once one had braved the approach, more began to turn up to enquire as to why the twins were there, and Hiccup was asked repeatedly - in front of Astrid and Lillian - how he told them apart, then whether or not they had had a threesome. The repetitive answers didn't seem to dissuade them, but Hiccup had been prepared for such eventualities and focused more on things like Lillian flicking bits of cake at Astrid, or watching the twins talking to his parents with smiles.
"I don't even need to ask if Astrid has a sister, I can see her! So Hiccup, can you hook me up?"
Hiccup could not think of someone less Lillian's type than Scott, and vice versa.
"No, he can't. I'm already hooked up, thanks."
A hand slid through his, then another on the other side. Hiccup glanced between the twins, but they were focused on an open-mouthed Scott.
"Whaaaa? Seriously, you're dating both of them?"
As surprised as Scott about it - at least, their openness - Hiccup shrugged, let them answer.
"Yeah, he is."
"Problem?"
Never in his life had Hiccup expected his cousins to look at him with something like awe, but apparently dating cute identical twins got him that. Not that he cared about approval, but the situation was unique enough that he could not fail to notice.
"Uh. Nope. I thought I was seeing things in that park before, but now I know I've gone completely crazy. Damnit Hiccup!"
With the answers they wanted and the gossip to take away with them, the three were left largely alone. Hiccup perched at one of the tables with Astrid and Lillian, who were wearing twin expressions of innocence.
"You didn't have to do that."
They grinned.
"Yeah, we know."
"We wanted to."
"And not just to make you look good."
"Though that was a bonus."
With ice well and truly broken, Hiccup watched as Astrid found herself taking a liking to the Jorgenson home brew. Lillian was less fond, so she joined Hiccup in watching Astrid get progressively drunk and rowdy with some of Hiccup's cousins.
"That's Astrid, yes?"
"Yeah. Lillian couldn't stomach that gut rotting stuff."
"Ah, she's got taste then."
"So has Astrid."
"Just not when it comes to alcohol. I'm not as much of a drinker."
Navigating a drunk Astrid back to the car as the party began to wind down, Hiccup bade his parents and relatives goodbye, increasingly struggling to convince Astrid to move rather than drape herself over him, giggling.
"I love youuuuuuuuu."
"I love you too, now get in the car."
Astrid relented, but only after she bit him and groped him roughly, turning feral eyes to Lillian and Hiccup needed to get her out of sight before she publicised the real secret of their relationship. Lillian helped wrestle her into a seatbelt, rolling her eyes as Hiccup hopped in the front.
"How strong is that stuff?"
"Uh, not sure. I've never been able to get more than half a cup down me without the taste being too much, but it hospitalised a couple of distant relatives at uncle Spite's wedding when the bottles got mixed up with the shop-bought stuff" Lillian threw him a wide-eyed look in the rear view mirror "I was watching how much Astrid had, don't worry."
"So, hungover Astrid tomorrow then?"
Hiccup laughed.
"Ohhhh yeah. In fact, it ought to be knocking her out any minute now."
Sure enough, when Hiccup glanced back Astrid was out cold, snoring lightly. Lillian took a video to show her later. Hiccup doubted Astrid would consider it her finest moment, but she'd probably see the funny side when the hangover was gone.
They had to wake her to get her inside at the other end of the journey, and Astrid had never been so graceless. Neighbours undoubtedly heard her off-key singing, and Hiccup found it both endearing and hilarious as they managed to dump Astrid onto the sofa, Lillian going to fill a glass with water while Hiccup tried to fend off drunken Astrid's advances. Not easy when she was still ridiculously strong, even while she probably couldn't see straight.
"Hiiiiiiiiccuuuuuup."
"Astrid, the only thing I'm taking you to bed for tonight is sleeping."
"You're no fun. Lils, Hiccup's being mean!"
"Hey, I'm on his side. Drink this."
Astrid pouted, but after a short sulking she curled up on the sofa and fell right back to sleep. Sweet as she looked, Hiccup knew she'd complain if they left her there and so he picked her up to carry to bed, going slowly so as not to wake her and risk her trying to wriggle free on the stairs or something equally hazardous. Astrid wasn't prone to getting sick when drunk, but Hiccup placed the emptied out little bin at her side of the bed, just in case, adding a water bottle to the side table too.
"So... was that a successful meet the family or not? I have very little basis for comparison."
Lillian quizzed as they brushed their teeth before they joined Astrid in bed. It was a little early, but neither saw the point in staying up much later.
"Hm?" Hiccup hummed around his toothbrush, spitting foam into the sink so he could answer "Oh, yeah. You guys handled them brilliantly. They were impressed. What made you guys decide to do the whole..."
"We're both dating you thing?" he nodded "I don't know, it was a little spur of the moment but we both agreed we were done hiding so much. Obviously we have to be careful, but that was your family. Most of them won't even remember in the morning anyway."
"Heh. True. Thanks. I... I'm glad you felt safe enough to do that."
Lillian smiled.
"Us too."
-HTTYD-
*insert witty authors note here*