Chapter Twenty-Five:
It Made Sense at the Time
By:
Interest Me
*Stephenie Meyer owns all original stories and characters.
Her father was already waiting for her in the car when she emerged from Sunita's house.
"Hi, Dad."
Edward turned the key. A russet wolf darted out of the trees and shot a look through the windshield.
"So it's you and Jake on Renesmee patrol tonight?" she asked.
"You seem to be developing quite a taste for human food?" he cringed.
"I know, right?"
"Carlisle was really rough on you."
"Dad, he stalked me! Stalked! His eyes were black. My instincts actually told me to defend myself and fight him. To fight Grandpa!"
Edward chuckled.
"I remember when it was me. He is a vampire you know."
"I tend to forget that. So, Dad, does he mean it?"
Edward looked at her. The trees flew by at 80 miles an hour.
"He thinks he does. It breaks his heart."
"But he had no objections to Aunt Rose taking vengeance."
"You're wrong. He did have objections. Strong ones. I saw his struggle. I saw hers too. She was broken, Renesmee, and not dealing well with this life that Carlisle had given her. Carlisle saved her, but felt guilty for doing so."
"What made him decide?"
"Rosalie's anger. It was a dangerous time. Nothing prevented her from leaving and becoming a complete savage. She couldn't deal with the rage. She was a newborn, and they aren't able to change emotion easily. For Rose, it was impossible. Your grandfather feared losing her forever and thought that letting her take revenge may act as an escape valve. He was right, you know. He usually is."
"So he just gave her the okay?"
"Not at first. He tried to talk her out of it. He asked me what was going on in the minds of her attackers. I saw . . . only dark deeds. Rose was not the first, and she wouldn't be the last. Carlisle made the choice to save her at the expense of their lives."
"How did it feel when he made you leave?"
"I felt right. I felt justified. But then I saw Esme's face, and that haunted me. With Carlisle, I was a rebellious son. With Esme, I was the son that broke her heart. As time went on, I couldn't erase her face and disappointment from my thoughts. Feeding on humans did something to my mind as well. I felt my reason slipping and my compassion dissolving. It was only a matter of time before I hunted someone innocent."
"Why?"
"Once you justify killing someone, and you have a taste for their blood, the lines get blurred. What is the difference between killing a fully grown man that has committed murder, and a child whose mind works like a killer's? I'm not Alice, but I could predict the harm they would one day be capable of. "
"Children?"
"It was close, Renesmee. But I looked into the mirror, and I no longer saw Carlisle's influence in my expression. I saw Esme's pain. I didn't see myself. It scared me. Suddenly I needed my mother and father. I went home."
"Grandpa scared me."
"Good."
"Boyd still deserved it. I won't let him hurt my friend."
"I understand. You'll find a way."
They turned into the driveway. Edward slid the car into park and turned off the motor.
Sounds like you have some faith in me, she thought.
Edward smiled at her.
"Well half of you came from your mother so there is hope."
Jacob bounded out of the woods in human form.
"Nessie!" He opened his arms and seemed about to hug her, but then he dropped his arms.
"So does this mean I can take you out for a human dinner some time?" he asked.
"As long as it's curry. I don't care much for the bread or the dessert."
Then he did reach out and loop an arm around her waist. She grabbed his and they walked toward the house together. She let the comfort of his warm gesture soothe the tension inside. She could always count on Jacob when it mattered. Edward disappeared into the house.
"So how is his finger?" Jacob asked.
"It's not bad; just a hairline fracture. I was careful."
Jacob laughed.
"You were careful. You know that sounds ridiculous?"
"I know, but it made sense at the time."
"One time, when I was nine, Quil, Embry and I piled a bunch of old tires next to my house. Then we climbed up to the roof. Quil jumped first, and he bounced three times. It was like he could fly! Anyway, he was laughing and whooping and he called for Embry to jump next."
"How many times did Embry bounce?"
"I don't remember. He broke his wrist and knocked a tooth loose."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because when our parents asked us what we were thinking, we said it made sense at the time."
"So are you saying I acted like a nine-year-old?"
"Maybe, but that's a compliment considering you're five."
Renesmee punched his arm causing him to stumble sideways.
"What would you have done?" she asked.
"If I saw him hurting a friend, I probably would have ripped his throat out."
"Exactly!"
Jacob grabbed her hand and squeezed it. He veered them away from the house.
"So, you're making friends," he said
"Enemies too."
"Yep. I overheard the scary girls talking. You're on their list."
"How do you like your new job?"
"It would be okay except for this one student that is making life hard for me."
"Maybe you're making life hard for her."
"Maybe she'll find it in her heart to stop."
"Maybe she can't make any promises."
"Why?"
Jacob stopped and his warm brown eyes gazed into hers. She looked for judgment or irritation, but all she saw was acceptance and love. But it was just genetics. He was obligated to put up with her.
Because I don't like how the girls look at you. Because when I see you through their eyes, I realize you are separate from me, with your own personality and beauty. Because I can't kiss you. Stop listening, Dad!
"Because I suspect I'm insane, and therapy is not an option," she said out loud.
"Well I already knew that," Jacob teased.
The night sky bathed the yard in rich purples. They walked with the easy comfort of days gone past, but Renesmee didn't feel the same inside. All of her nerves focused on where their hands met. He squeezed, and it sent a shock wave through her body. Her heart sped, and her palms dampened.
"What's wrong? You seem nervous?" Jacob asked.
Of course he could hear her heart and detect minute changes in her skin. Her breathing quickened. He would detect that too. She looked at his lips. She thought of how many times he had easily kissed her cheeks and forehead. But that was all off limits now. Or was it? Without permission, her finger touched his bottom lip. He pulled his head away.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said, "you just had a bug. When was the last time you bathed?"
He chuckled.
"Maybe it was a flea," she said in a further attempt to play it off as a joke. Tears began to run down her sinuses, and she swallowed them.
"We should go back now," he said and tugged her around toward the house.
"I really don't want to go in there. I don't want to face them all."
Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Her nostrils pricked at the fragrance that could only be Jacob; wood, grass, musk and denim.
"Don't worry. I'll stay with you," he promised.
Cricket song pulsed a melody as they walked. Frogs added their bass. She had been determined to let him go. But her resolve was weakening every day.
"Jacob, if you could go anywhere, where would it be?"
"I can go anywhere, but I like it here. What about you?"
"Mars."
"On a stolen space shuttle?"
"Yes."
He squeezed her shoulders and led her to her doom.