Soo close to rule 500! XD
Yaaayyyy! I can't believe how far this has gone!
I'm sorry to say everyone, that my guidelines are coming to a close..
Don't worry, not like that!
I'm not going to make any more rules...I'm going to be doing one-shots!
So don't be too sad!
I would like to thank everyone who has read and enjoyed it!
And thank you Hummergrey for liking this! X3
Onward!
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Guidelines for living with giant Alien Robots!
By Tatyana Witwicky
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Rule #486: Lucky Star is an anime that should be explained or quoted.
(Sparrow says, 'Kono-chan is mommy!')
(Hilarious!)
*'Someones having a blood conversation!'
*'Super Mega special mecha awesome chocolate-dipped shining flaming glowing incredible serve!' (That is incredibly fun to shout out randomly!)
*'WHAT THE HELL? THESE ARE ALL PORNOS!' (Never let Leo and Miles buy you Manga)
*'Being flat-chested is a status, a precious rarity!' (I was defending my boobs from Mikaela's taunts.)(Not my fault I ended up with 'Misquito bites' and not 'melons'!)
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'God, Tai!' Mikaela exclaimed suddenly, startling Tai to the point when she spilt hot coffee on her crotch. 'You are so flat!'
Tai gave her friend a blank look before it turned into a look of odd smugness. 'Well, Mikky-you-so-fine, I have just the thing to say to you!' Standing up, which was a mistake because the coffee spill on her pants looked she had a little accident. Sunny and Sides laughter could be heard around the Rec. Room. 'In the words of the amazing, Konata-chan, 'Being flat-chested is a status!' She then leant forward until she was pretty much touching noses with Mikaela. 'A precious rarity! At least I don't risk head injury when I jump on a trampoline!'
Mikaela glared.
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(Heeheehee, that got her!)
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Rule #487: When Wheeljack says the following, leave the room very fast a.k.a. run like Unicron is on your ass:
*'That may have been a bad noise..'
*'Oopsie daisy.' (That made me laugh until the entire back of me was exposed to everyone.)(I enjoyed the breeze.)
*'Total crapola!'
*'Big garbage bags! I need incredibly big garbage bags!' (Shockingly we had some..)(O.o.)
*'Well...that wasn't supposed to happen..' (Lennox and Epps bolted out of the room.)(All I saw were two human shaped blurs.)
*'Oh...so that's how it works...'
*'Clean up on aisle 5...' (Too many explosions can make you say strange things..)
*'Anyone with lungs may want to leave the room..'
(Oh Wheeljack...you and your explosive ways...)
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Rule #488: Never quote Kevin James.
(Goddamn, that guys hilarious!)
*'Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
*'Here, enjoy your skin flap, that's for you! The piece that looks if my ass caught fire and someone put it out with an old t-shirt is yours!' (Sam was laughing so incredibly hard.)
*'Yeah I'll take the bean bag chair with raisins!' (Muffins these days are flippin' huge as hell!)
*'Drop the pen, lady!'
*'I'm not gonna be last in line because I'm having trouble spelling thirteen, okay!'
*'I tied a sock around my eyes and I packed with my feet..'
*'I either got to get in shape...or hope ponchos come back in style..' (Hahaha Glen!)
*'I found out I scream like if a great white is gonna attack me...or if a piece of sea weed touches my foot...'
*'LET GO OF THE DAMN DOOR! SIT YOUR ASS ON THE CURB AND I WILL COME AROUND AND LET YOU IN!' (Barricade is funny when he yells.)
*'Yucky toes!'
(Kevin James is my idol!)
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Rule #489: Never go into intimate detail on the inner workings of females.
(Mikaela and I didn't feel like explaining it, so we got some pictures...)
(Oh my god, bad idea!)
('And that gentle men, is where babies come from!')
((Some were cradling themselves, some glitched, some clawed their sound receptors off...fun times.)
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Rule #490: Don't torment Red Alert with bird calls.
(Sam, Leo, and I decided to have come fun.)
(Sam did a hawk, Leo did a eagle, and I did a peacock.)
(Turns out, while on patrol, Red was attacked by a eagle.)
(Needless to say, he had one of his many metal breakdowns.)
(Sunny didn't help at all.)
('It's the eagle, Red. It's back to haunt you..')
(He then prceeded to take a running start and dive behind the big bot couch.)
(Dad was trying not to laugh at his expense.)
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Rule #491: Contrary to what you see in anime, fighting in a mini-skirt won't not work well at all.
(Anime lies...horribly.)
(So, Sunny, Sides, and Jazz...stop asking me to fight 'Cons in a mini-skirt.)
(I don't feel like showing any of the cons my regions, my happy button, or whatever the hell you want to call it!)
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Rule #492: Once again, never quote Mythbusters.
(Still one of the best shows on TV.)
*'Everyday is the fourth of July!' (Trust me, it is.)
*''The Mythbusters workout consists of working out with scientific equipment whilst thinking about them at the same time. Building your mind and your body!' (Wheeljack found that quite useful.)
*''There she goes! Our little tetrahedron of death!' (That is my new nickname, courtesy of the Lambo twins.)(Dad was confused and alarmed when they called me that in front of him.)
*'Experiments get more fun when I get bigger gun!' (Lennox now keeps all weapons under lock and key.)
*'I wouldn't say Ratchet's an evil genius…I'm not sure he's evil, and I'm not sure he's a genius.'
*'Daddy! Daddy! Can I try it this time? Can I blow the bullet up? can I? Can I? really I can try!' (I had about five mochas that day.)
*'Ah, the old NEST motto: when in doubt, add something heavy.'
*'Our death ray doesn't seem to be working right. I'm standing right in it, and I'm not dead yet.'
*'Yet again we're blowing things up in front of my base. And not only that but there are noxious chemicals involved which will probably leave a residue over the whole block and, um…I guess it's okay. I'm getting used to it. So are the neighbors.' (Dad.)
*'I think we need to get professional help…then maybe find some rocket experts.'
*'Oh my God, it's level! (It fell over.) Awww...' (Mikaela cracked me up.)
*'Yup, business as usual. 60 pounds of force across the knuckles is going to sting a little.' (Sam and I learned that the hard way.)(Goddamn, that hurt so bad!)
*'Let's egg him on until he hurts himself. That's always fun.' (You can pick whoever fits this quote.)
*'Damn this is a sexy machine!' (Just trust me, never say this.)(Especially if Sunny is in the room.)
*'Yet another everyday household item turned deadly.' (It's shocking how true that statement is.)
*'For some reason...I have the desire to smash them on my head.' (Keep me away from aluminum pans.)(Sarah got so pissed.)('Stop smashing my pans over your hard ass head!')(I was shocked that she swore.)
*'Holy crap…run!' (Another Ironhide 'Uh-oh.' moment.)
*'Well, it's weird talking without any oxygen in your system…WOW!' (Again, no helium for the boys.)(They use it way too much.)(To the point where Leo almost passed out.)
*'It's the toy every kid wants for Christmas! A Container Ship! "Gee, thanks dad! Now I can replicate international commerce!' (Only Sam would think of that.)(Who doesn't wanna replicate international commerce?)
*'It's always a good day when you start it at the bomb range.'
*'How many of me can you stand?' (Prowl refused to comment.)
(Once again, Wheeljack is no longer allowed to watch this show.)
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Rule #493: All songs from the band Psychostick are BANNED!
(Except I do sing the song 'Beer!' quite often.)
(There is however a eight second song called 'Vah-jay-jay', and Sunny won't stop singing it.)
(I don't know whether to laugh or throw something at him.)
('I like beer because it's good...I drink beer because I should..')
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Rule #494: Never quote any of the Austin Powers movies.
(Like I said before, way way back...just don't.)
*'Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?' (I swear Ratchet has no much anger.)
*'She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.' (Never say to Chromia.)(If anybody attempts, I simply say the following.)('Do you wanna die?')
*'I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.'
*'That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!' (Heeheehee.)
*'Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.' (Will, no more boiled eggs!)
*'The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.'
*'Well, you make me many things but sleepy's not one of them.'
(Bumblebee loves playing, 'Yeah, baby yeah!' over and over again.)
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Rule #495: Never ask Prowl how many numbers are in 'pi.'
(*sigh* Damn him and his logic!)
(I was incredibly impressed when he managed to tick off 156 numbers.)
(I could only get to 99.)
(My processor is still sore.)
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Rule #496: NEVER quote Ren and Stimpy.
(And also, never watch it when there are small children and or sparkling's on base.)
(Some of the episodes even made me go, 'Wow...')
*'Can you spare a cup of protoplasm?' (No, no I can't.)
*'Now shut up and look stupid.' (Sunny.)
*'How can he possibly resist the maddening urge to eradicate history at the mere push of a single button? The beautiful, shiny button? The jolly, candy-like button? Will he hold out, folks? Can he hold out?' (Apparently, Miles and other people of NEST enjoy pushing various buttons.)(I probably shouldn't taunt them.)
*'Ain't that cute...BUT IT'S WRONG!' (Please, Sunny, Sides, stop saying that whenever I am trying to talk to my Dad.)(I will end up throwing something incredibly heavy and sharp at you two!)
*'YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!'
*'And please give me a million dollars, and a fridge with a padlock and, oh yeah, huge pectoral muscles.' (Oh Sam.)(You and your fantasies.)
*'Quick, man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!' (Lennox to Epps.)(Epps looked slightly disturbed.)
*'How do you think George Washington fit into his party dress? *Salve*!'
*'Organized ignorance, eh?'
*'Just... one... squeeze... AAAAH! It's happening again! MY BRAIN! MY HOT... STINGING... BRAIN!'
*' Hey, look, Sam! We're earning another badge: The "Falling On Jagged Rocks" Badge!'
(Fun times.)
(Dad was kind of shocked we found this show funny.)
('Are they consuming human brains?')
(Bwahahaha!)
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Rule #497: Never shove cotton balls in your mouth as a dare or contest.
(The winner has to say 'Chubby bunny!' without spilling any of the cotton balls out of their mouth.)
(Sam and Leo were doing it.)
(Their cheeks were very puffy.)
(Ratchet wanted to know where all the cotton balls went.)
(I simply said, 'You don't wanna know...')
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Rule #498: When watching Avatar, never call the mecha machines 'Cybertronian sexy toys.'
(I don't know Leo why said it.)
(Although it was freaking funny as hell!)
(But now at least Ironhide likes the movie...)
(Wait, wait...ew.)
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Rule #499: Never leave the following crap inside your guardians:
* Various make-up
* Cups (starbucks, Jamba Juice, McDonalds, etc.)
* clothes
* Toys (Annabelle.)
* C.D.s
* Shoes
(Barricade finally complained to Dad.)
('Ever since I became Tai's guardian, I've essentially become a big purse...')
(I laughed so hard!)
(Even Dad couldn't hold back a small grin.)
(XD!)
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And finally, rule #500: Never, and I repeat, never, spray paint 'Party Bus' on Ratchet's hood.
(I have no idea why Miles and Leo seem to have a death wish..)
(Although, it was freaking epic!)
(They are now legends at pranking!)
(Ratchet did not find it all that funny.)
(Although, everyone else did..)
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So, all in all, living with Giant robots is a challenge, yet incredibly fun and entertaining. Just follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
Primus be with you all.
Love,
Tatyana Witwicky/Prime
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HOLY CRAP!
500 rules! I made it to 500! *confetti, trumpets, and various other loud joyous things*
I'm done! Done and done!
Of course, I would never have made it without everyone's support!
Thank you so much to all my loyal readers!
Loves and kisses!
Review!