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Chapter 25 - Hope and Fear

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Summary: Gibbs and the MCRT are watching as news breaks of the terror attack in Seattle. When they learn The Calling is responsible, they race to confirm their suspicion that Tony is a member of the task force targeted by the attack.

Notes: I'm back finally, with a two-chapter update for you. Progress is slow thanks to a crushing work schedule, classes, and an exercise regimen meant to get my health back on track. I'd love nothing better than to retire and write full-time, but alas, it's not to be at this point.

That said, thanks to everyone who continues follow this story as it nears the end. All of you reading, following, favoriting, and commenting. I love and appreciate them all and they keep me going, even if I've been remiss in replying. Sorry; I'll try to do better :)

No spoilers to speak of, but there are minor references to canon events, as well as events from previous installments of the trilogy.

Unbeta'd - any mistakes are mine. On to the story...

~Seattle, S3 Building~

Tony followed the sound of gunshots nearby, fearing that Joanna might have run into Rousseau on her way out. He ran as fast as he could in the dark, using the light emitted by his cell phone flash to guide the way.

After calling the armory to warn Gary, he'd dropped the landline and dashed in the direction Joanna had gone. He barely made it out of security when several blasts in quick succession shook the building. He staggered but managed to keep his balance, knowing immediately the rockets he'd warned Gary about had been used. The power flickered and went out as he reached the stairs. He kept moving, ignoring the free flow of blood and pain of his injuries, knowing his life depended on speed.

Tony felt the building heat and heard the roar of a fast spreading fire on the floors above him. He began to cough as acrid smoke poured out of air vents in the walls and the thickening smoke slowed his progress as he moved along the dark passageway. Suddenly there was a rumble and a deafening crash from nearby, and pieces of ceiling began to crumble and fall.

Concrete and metal continued to rain down, heavier chunks knocking him to his knees and he cursed as the cell phone went sliding just out of reach. He'd been wrong when he told Joanna he'd make it.

There wasn't enough time after all, he thought.

For a fleeting moment Tony felt a sense of regret, then an explosion of pain in his head sent white flashes through his vision and he crumpled the rest of the way to the floor. The ceiling supports began to give way and he knew nothing but the darkness.

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~Ducky's house~

Ducky turned up the volume on his television as the anchor on ZNN prepared to update the day's lead story. The sense of foreboding he felt upon hearing the breaking news story hours ago had only grown stronger as night fell. He'd been unable to reach Anthony and hoped it was simply due to the sporadic cell phone service in the Seattle area in the wake of the attack. He felt so helpless; all he could do was wait and hope that Anthony would find a way to contact him and assure him he was alright. The alternative didn't bear thinking about. He turned his attention to the news.

Greg Wayson, our field correspondent at the scene in Seattle is standing by with an update. "Greg, what have you learned?"

"The investigation is still unfolding but here's what we know so far. We continue to follow the aftermath of an apparent terrorist attack by rocket fire on an office complex in Seattle's warehouse district. City records show that the converted warehouse building was leased by the private security firm Sentinel Security Systems, also called S3. Within minutes of the attack, Federal agents and local law enforcement officers converged on a neighboring building where the rocket fire originated from. There was a fierce exchange of gunfire in which two fleeing suspects were killed, and one critically wounded. The Seattle FBI office's command center on scene is now working with Seattle PD to maintain a secure perimeter around the still burning building and coordinate with first responders on scene."

"Has anyone claimed responsibility for the attack yet?"

"In a statement just provided to us, the FBI attributes the attack to a terror group known as The Calling. They also tell us that the S3 security firm was a front intended to protect and conceal the operations of a joint federal task force for counterterrorism. The task force was recently successful in averting a number of attacks overseas, and domestically, two planned major attacks in Los Angeles which were also attributed to The Calling. The group primarily operated out of east Asia and sought to gain a foothold in the US.

"What do the authorities say about the potential for new attacks?" The ZNN anchor asked.

"This attack is assessed to be an isolated incident and the group responsible all but disbanded due to the task force's efforts both here in the US and internationally. It appears a few members managed to evade capture and specifically targeted the task force for attack. Whether the attack was an act of revenge or last ditch effort by a few remaining to avoid being apprehended is unknown at this juncture."

Ducky gave in to the compulsion to try Anthony's number again and sighed heavily as it went directly to voice mail. He rose and turned off the television, deciding to change clothes and head back to NCIS. Should any news come…good, bad or otherwise, he'd rather be among friends than alone. Just in case.

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~Seattle~

Smoke drifted into the sky as concrete shifted and groaned in the smoldering remains of the S3 building. Somewhere under the ruin, a ringing cell phone cast a dim light in a dark, cave-like space for a few seconds before going quiet again. There was no reaction from the lifeless figure nearby, half buried in debris and lying with one hand outstretched toward the phone just beyond reach.

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~NCIS HQ, Washington DC~

Vance looked up at the sharp knock on his office door to see Gibbs lean inside.

"Any word, Leon?"

Vance pulled the ever-present toothpick from his mouth and tossed it in the trash. Grinding it to splinters wasn't resolving anything, nor helping alleviate the tension and stress he felt over the terror attack in Seattle. He certainly wasn't alone in that feeling; Gibbs and the MCRT were completely focused on finding a way to contact or get word about DiNozzo.

The recent visit from Tom Morrow about the NCIS case file on The Calling finding its way to the task force, seen now in a new light, definitely helped connect some dots. As did findings in their own internal investigation of hacking into NCIS' databases. Both were at least indirectly related to the attack. There was also more than enough circumstantial evidence of late to indicate DiNozzo might have been involved with the task force in some capacity.

As soon as The Calling's name came up in the news report, Ellis' team were worried he might have even been caught up in the attack. McGee and Bishop were using every contact and resource they had, short of hacking, to get something more than the slim details released to the public. Vance resigned himself to the possibility that they probably were hacking, and he should get ready to field angry phone calls from the FBI and Homeland again.

"Come in, Gibbs," he replied with a wave. "I managed to catch Tom Morrow in the office. One of his agents is on the task force and working out of the command center; Tom spotted him in some of the news footage. Communication is still spotty and similar to what happened after 9/11, cell and internet service in the Seattle area is overwhelmed right now, but Tom will call us if he hears something."

Gibbs shook his head, still reeling from the latest news report. "The Calling, Leon. How is that even possible? Did you have any idea about this?"

"That DiNozzo probably was part of the task force? Yes, Tom and I have suspected that for some time. Did I know that The Calling was back in the US? Not until the FBI took over the MCRT's hacking case, and not with any degree of certainty," he explained.

"And?" Gibbs challenged. "No one said anything to me?" So much about DiNozzo's actions and secrecy in the last two years made perfect sense now. He wished he'd known, but it probably wouldn't have changed anything even if he had.

"And nothing, Gibbs. If DiNozzo wanted anyone here to know, he'd have told them," Vance reminded him sharply. "As for The Calling; not our swim lane this time."

Gibbs sighed and nodded, trying accept he'd been kept out of the loop, and probably for good reason. Doctor Silva's voice chided him in his head. He needed to set aside those old petty control issues trying to rear up from the past; this wasn't about him. There was one person who probably knew about DiNozzo all along, and his friend was probably worried sick right now. He resolved to pay Ducky a visit soon.

"You get anything from Fornell?" Vance asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

"He says FBI Director Whitman left for Seattle earlier. Organizationally, the joint task force fell under the purview of the FBI and he wants to support his agents on scene personally. The FBI office in Seattle is getting hold of some satellite phones for the agents working out of the onsite command center," Gibbs said. "No news about casualties will be released publicly until the families are notified, but Whitman will get Fornell a list when coms are established. Fornell will send it to me or McGee."

"Then we wait," Vance said quietly.

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Gibbs exited the elevator and headed toward the bullpen. He'd spent some time keeping a worried Ducky and Palmer company, only leaving when an unrelated case update for one of the field teams required their attention for a short time. At least they had work to occupy them for the time being. Overnight on a weekend, he had nothing to distract him and he decided to check in with Ellis and his old team.

Finding them all gathered around the big screen, he approached and took in the scene quietly. The fire was out now, although smoke still billowed from the half-destroyed building.

"Anything new?" Gibbs asked solemnly.

"Six confirmed still missing; four from the task force and two security guards," Ellis informed him. "No names released yet."

"They've found two survivors and recovered four bodies," Bishop added grimly, not taking her eyes off the footage of the smoldering building. "all from the hostage rescue team sent in shortly before the attack was launched."

McGee jumped slightly as a loud chime sounded from his desk. "Email notification," he mumbled apologetically as he turned to the desk. "I wanted to make sure I could hear in case it was one of my contacts getting back to me," he explained.

Leaning down to unlock his screen, he paled and looked up at the others. "It's from Fornell. You got it too, Gibbs."

"Go ahead and open it, McGee," Gibbs said, his heart starting to pound. "It'll be faster than me trying to find it on my phone."

McGee closed his eyes in a silent prayer and took a deep breath, while Bishop, Ellis, and Gibbs gathered closer around him. Was he about to see a good friend's name listed among the missing? He opened the email and scrolled down.

"Tony's not on the list of those missing," he said, heaving a relieved sigh. "Oh." his face fell. "There's a name we know, though."

"Oh no…who?" Bishop asked.

"Joanna Teague," McGee answered somberly, recalling the CIA Officer and Ned Dorneget's mother.

"Damn," Gibbs muttered. It made sense that the CIA Officer had been drafted for this task force, but what about Tony? Where did hefit? Then it hit him…he'd suspected Tony had been working under an alias.

"Let me take a look at the list, McGee." Gibbs' gut feeling was screaming at him now.

McGee frowned and moved to the side, making room for Gibbs to take his place behind the desk.

Gibbs scanned the list and pulled in a shaky breath. Cold fear washed over him as his suspicion was confirmed, and he read a name he recognized. He shook his head and blinked in disbelief, but the name was still there.

"Gibbs, what is it?" Bishop exclaimed, worried to see Gibbs suddenly go still and quiet.

Gibbs backed up unsteadily and dropped into McGee's chair as if his legs suddenly refused to support him. He turned a pale face from McGee's computer back to the news on the big screen, taking in the flashing lights of the fire trucks and rescue vehicles staged in front of the smoking building in the background.

Ellis stepped closer and put a steadying hand on Gibbs' shoulder and asked calmly, "Gibbs, do you know one of the others on the list?"

Gibbs forced himself to acknowledge Ellis.

"Tony…" was all he could manage before words failed him.

McGee tilted his head in confusion. "Gibbs, what about Tony? Are you thinking one of those names is him?"

Gibbs' reply was gruff, almost angry. "Look at the task force section of the list again, McGee."

McGee looked back over the short list of names.

Gary Walker

Joanna Teague

Melanie Davies

Nick Paddington

"Paddington," McGee said uncertainly, searching for the reason the name was familiar.

"Like the bear…" Gibbs whispered, lost in a years-old memory, then spoke louder. "His mother's maiden name."

"Yeah, I remember now. That could be a coincidence, Gibbs," McGee insisted as Ellis nodded in agreement. "It's not all that uncommon of a name."

Gibbs sighed deeply and shook his head. "I wish it were, but it isn't."

"What makes you so sure, Gibbs?" Bishop asked.

"The first name," Gibbs began; his expression bleak. "Nick. Short for Dominic…Tony's middle name."

"How could you know that?" McGee questioned, knowing only his middle initial was ever listed in Tony's personnel files and medical records. He didn't want Gibbs to be right. Maybe it was naïve, but he wanted to hold on to the hope that Tony hadn't been in that building.

Gibbs huffed a humorless laugh. "How do ya think, McGee? He told me."

The others shifted uncomfortably at the revelation. If Gibbs were right, Tony was indeed among those missing after the attack.

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Gibbs rushed down the stairs toward autopsy as fast as his reconstructed knee allowed, in too much of a hurry to wait for the elevator. He'd just returned to the bullpen after briefing Vance on the unofficial list of missing personnel, and his assertion that DiNozzo was likely among them, when an agitated Palmer called upstairs to say Ducky needed him.

His stomach began churning uneasily as soon as he entered autopsy. Ducky was seated, white as a sheet and looking down vacantly at the cell phone in his limp hand. Palmer, shaken at the state of his mentor, stood next to Ducky with a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder.

"Agent Gibbs," Palmer greeted worriedly. "Thank goodness. He got a call; I think it might have been about Tony."

Gibbs nodded an acknowledgement as he knelt in front of his old friend and touched his hand, trying to get him to meet his eyes. "Ducky, you with us?" he asked softly.

Ducky looked up at the sound of Gibbs' voice and his eyes focused.

"Jethro?"

Gibbs looked into the misty blue eyes. "I'm here, Duck," he soothed. "Are you all right?" he asked, worried about Ducky's heart condition in the face of possible bad news.

Ducky nodded slowly, "Yes. But Anthony…" he began, holding the phone toward Gibbs with a helpless shrug.

Gibbs didn't want to utter the words, but he had to know. His eyes were flat and his voice emotionless as he asked, "Is he dead?"

Palmer held his breath as he waited for Ducky to answer.

"He was in the building," Ducky confirmed. "But they haven't found him yet."

Palmer exhaled deeply, then without speaking, went into Ducky's office and pushed out two rolling chairs. He slid one next to Gibbs, knowing that kneeling for very long would hurt the agent's bad knee. He took a seat next to Ducky and placed one hand on top of the old doctor's arm.

Gibbs smiled his thanks at Palmer and turned back to Ducky.

"Can you tell me about the call, Ducky?"

Ducky gathered himself and explained.

"The call was from the agent in charge at the scene, Matthew Carson. He worked…" Ducky stopped himself and corrected the past tense emphatically. "He works with Tony on the task force, although until recently they knew him by another name."

"Nick Paddington," Gibbs guessed.

Ducky nodded, an eyebrow raised in surprise, and continued. "I was contacted because Anthony asked me to serve as his medical proxy and secondary next of kin before he left Washington. He needed to change it after leaving NCIS," looking at Gibbs apologetically, knowing he'd taken Gibbs' place. "And he needed someone more reliable than his father."

Gibbs shook his head, brushing off the older man's concern. "It's fine, Ducky. I'm glad you were there for him. What else?"

"Agent Carson confirmed that Anthony was among the hostages in the building at the time of the attack and is currently listed as missing," Ducky told them, shades of anguish coloring his eyes a darker blue. "Search and rescue teams are looking for survivors, but must proceed cautiously. The street-facing portion of the building where the rockets struck is unstable. The first responders fear a collapse."

Gibbs leaned back as Ducky suddenly straightened and rose from the chair. "I need to go to Seattle. I have to be there when they find him."

Gibbs nodded. "I'll drive you home; you'll need to pack a few things. Palmer, can you let the director know what's happened? Tell him I'll call him once I get Ducky home."

"Of course, Agent Gibbs," Palmer replied, anxious to do something useful.

As soon as Palmer was out of the room, Gibbs turned to Ducky. "I'm going with you," he said decisively.

Ducky looked at him sharply, uncertain of his motivations. "Why?"

Gibbs faced his friend and sighed, scrubbing a hand over tired eyes.

"Ducky, I won't try and convince you the thought of never getting a chance to make things right with Tony doesn't scare me, because it does," he admitted. "But that's not my main concern right now. You are."

Ducky just looked bewildered at the admission. "I'll be fine, Jethro."

"I know that. But you don't have to do this alone. You're my oldest friend and if the worst happens…" Gibbs stopped, his voice hitching with emotion at the thought of Tony dead. He closed his eyes briefly and swallowed against the tightening in his throat. "If the worst happens, that's not news you need to hear two thousand miles from home and surrounded by strangers. We're going to need each other; all of us."

Ducky patted Gibbs' arm gently, gratitude shining from his eyes.

"Thank you, Jethro."

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A short time later, a subdued Abby and Palmer were seeing them off at the airport. Gibbs checked his messages one last time and made a mental note to thank Vance when they returned home. He'd coordinated with FBI Director Whitman and arranged for them to be allowed to wait for word on Tony in the command center at the attack site. Having another doctor on scene in Ducky probably couldn't hurt, and he could pitch in himself wherever needed as well.

While Abby pulled Gibbs away for a good bye hug, Jimmy turned to his mentor. "I'm glad Agent Gibbs will be with you," he began. "But I wish I could be there too, Doctor Mallard," he said regretfully.

"I believe you are needed as much here, Mister Palmer."

Jimmy nodded with a sigh. "I know," he said, flicking his eyes toward Abby, and thinking of McGee and Bishop; back at NCIS waiting for word from their own sources. "You'll call as soon as you hear something about Tony?"

"Of course I will."

Nearby, Abby stepped back and fixed worried eyes to Gibbs' as he broke their embrace.

"You'll find him, right, Gibbs? You'll find him and tell him how much he's been missed," she pleaded.

"Abby," Gibbs began, "That's not why I'm going," he said, looking at Ducky meaningfully.

"But Gibbs…" she exclaimed.

Gibbs shook his head, stopping her protest.

"Abby, no. You saw the footage and you know the situation," he reminded, not wanting to give her false hope. He knew how smart and resourceful Tony was, but he'd lost so many people he cared about. And though he was trying to stay positive, looking at that partially ruined building on television didn't lend itself to holding out much hope at all.

"We aren't going to be there in an official capacity, Abby. It's not up to me to save the day," he told her, painfully aware of that reality himself. "I'm going to be with Ducky, so he isn't out there alone. And if they bring Tony out of that building alive, I'll be there for him too, assuming he'll let me be."

"Not if. When. I'll ask the nuns to say a prayer for Tony and the others. He'll be fine, you'll see," she asserted.

Gibbs heard the determination and the denial in her voice; her unwillingness to believe there was a chance Tony might not have survived. He wished he had her faith, even knowing that was just her way of coping. Gibbs nodded in resignation. "You do that, Abby."

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