Chapter XXV

''Step back! Give her some space!'' Mary shouted at the crowd, which had started to gather around Anna's limp form. ''Do not touch her!'' she snapped at Green and his friend, when they started to reach toward her. ''Can we get some water, please!'' she asked, turning to the waiter behind the counter.

''Let us help…'' Green began, but Mary quickly cut him off. ''I said, DO NOT TOUCH HER!''

''Mary, what happened?'' Matthew's voice made her turn and look behind her.

''Oh, thank god you're here. Help me carry her, please,'' she said, and Matthew quickly lifted Anna in his arms.

''Is everything all right here?'' a familiar voice asked, and when Mary looked up, she saw Kemal's dark eyes staring at her. ''Mary?''

''Kemal, our friend has fainted. Is there a private place we can lay her down?''

''Umm...certainly. Follow me,'' he said without any hesitation, and made a path through the crowd for them. ''You can set her down on the couch in one of our waiting rooms,'' he said. He led them through the lobby and then opened one of the doors along the hallway. Matthew walked toward the first couch and set her down gently. Placing some pillows under her knees, he stood up and turned to Mary and Kemal.

''Mary, what happened?'' he asked.

''She just collapsed,'' she replied, her brow furrowing in concern. ''Thank you for letting us use the room, Kemal.''

''No problem...but should we call the ambulance?'' he asked, not taking his gaze away from Mary. She was still beautiful, he thought to himself. He stared at her openly, not taking any notice of Matthew.

''No, it's all right. Just give her some time. All she needs is some air and a glass of water, and I'm sure she'll be OK.'' She smiled shakily. ''Oh,'' she added, when she heard Matthew cough lightly behind her, ''Kemal, this is Matthew, my fiancé. Matthew, this is Kemal, a…friend...from uni,'' she introduced them, feeling slightly uncomfortable. After the men politely shook hands, Kemal excused himself and left the three of them alone.

''So that was your Kemal, hmm?'' Matthew smiled at her, and he could see that she was blushing slightly. He didn't mind, not really - it was a long time ago when they had been together. But he had to admit to himself, Kemal Pamuk was a very good-looking fellow!

''Yes, that was Kemal," Mary nodded, "but he's not mine and never really was.'' Matthew wanted to add something, but she walked past him and knelt by Anna's side. ''Anna? Anna dear, can you hear me? Come on, wake up!'' she called her, and lightly patted her when she didn't respond.

''Ma-…Mary?!'' Anna finally opened her eyes a crack.

''Yes, it's me. Come on, try to sit up,'' she encouraged, and eased her into a sitting position.

''What…what happened?''

''You lost consciousness, dear,'' Mary explained, and offered her a bottle of water.

''Oh…'' she replied, confused, and took a sip from the bottle.

''Do you remember anything?''

''Umm…I was by the bar when Green showed up…I don't remember what he was saying, but…'' Before she finished her sentence, she suddenly remembered the person she had seen. ''Oh, my god, Mary! HE IS HERE!'' she shrieked.

''Anna, calm down,'' Mary said quickly.

''He is here!'' she repeated, still not believing it was true.

''Yes, he is, but…''

''That bastard! Did you see how he smiled at me?! I'll kill him!'' Anna fumed, standing up angrily, but dizziness got the better of her and she quickly fell back down onto the sofa. She just couldn't believe it. After so many years of complete silence - no calls, no letters, nothing - he had stood right in front of her, smiling at her like nothing had ever been amiss between them! ''He's here, Mary!'' she repeated, this time with fresh tears in her eyes. ''I can't believe that he's here!''

''Who is here?'' Matthew finally asked, still standing by the door watching them, not understanding what the two women were talking about.

Mary turned to face him and simply answered, ''Paul.''

''Paul? Who is Paul?'' Matthew asked, not knowing much about Anna's history.

''He is…'' Mary began, but Anna quickly interrupted, ''He's Gracie's dad.''

''What? I thought he was in America?''

''He was…but as you can see, he is back in England,'' Mary snapped, and turned to a still-shocked Anna. ''Anna, what would you like to do?''

''I… I don't know.'' She looked up, dazed. How dare he approach her after so many years and act like nothing had happened, like everything he had done was all right. ''I think I want to go home.''

''Yes, sure. I'll take you,'' Mary replied without hesitation, and helped her stand up. ''Matthew, would you mind staying? Papa is expecting a full report tomorrow morning, but I can't leave her alone.''

''Sure, sure. Go, I'll take care of everything,'' he answered and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, before Mary helped Anna walk back through the lobby and out of the building.

xXx

After a short drive, the two women arrived at Anna's flat. Luckily Gracie was spending the night with Jane, which would give Anna the chance to process everything without worrying that she would upset her daughter. Unlocking the door, they walked in and sat down on the couch in the darkened sitting room.

''Anna…do you want to talk?'' Mary asked hesitantly, but Anna just stared in front of her, not saying a word. She hadn't yet recovered from the shock. ''Anna?''

''Did you see the way he was staring and smiling at me?'' she finally spoke. ''He smiled at me the same way when we met for the first time,'' she remembered. ''What is he doing here, Mary? Why did he show up like this…after the way he left, after so many years?''

''I don't know,'' Mary answered gently and covered Anna's hands with her own, which made her look up. ''Is there anything I can do for you?''

''Can you stay with me tonight?'' Anna asked, sounding like a little child. She was so confused and overwhelmed; it felt like all the progress she had made in therapy in the last month and a half had been for nothing. Paul was back. She didn't know why, but seeing him out of the blue after so many years...it was just too much for her.

''Yes, of course I'll stay with you. Come here.'' Mary opened her arms and held her friend. She was very aware how much damage Paul had caused when he had left. She had never liked the man - something about him had just rubbed her the wrong way - but Anna had been happy when they were together, and that was all that had mattered. But now, she couldn't let him hurt her again, not Anna...and definitely not Gracie.

''Mary, can I ask you something?'' Anna whispered in the dark.

''Sure, you can ask me anything.''

''Do you really not know where…where John is...?''

She missed him so much. She had talked a lot about what had happened to them in her therapy sessions, and with the help of Miss Logan, Anna had finally started to understand...and believe...that she was indeed worthy of John and his love. What Paul had done to her so many years ago was completely his fault and not hers at all. She had done nothing wrong, and had done nothing to cause him to leave her. He was the one who had made the decision not to stay with her and their child. All she had done was to survive as best she knew how and to give Gracie the life she deserved, full of love and support.

She wondered whether John might possibly give her another chance. She had hurt him very badly, and she knew that, but she needed to see him...to find out for sure whether she had ruined any chance of them ever being together. And even if he wasn't willing to try again, she felt like she needed to apologize to him one more time…to ask for his forgiveness.

''I have no idea where he is. Papa is refusing to tell us anything. All he has told us is that he is alive and well...'' Mary explained, and then she paused. ''You still love him, don't you?!''

''Of course I do. I never stopped.'' Anna sat up straighter. ''I...got scared. Deep down I think I was afraid that he would leave me if I got pregnant without us having planned it, so I left him before he had the chance to walk away first.''

''John would never do that to you, Anna.''

''I know he wouldn't. He is the sweetest man in the entire world, and I...I was terrible to him. He wanted to talk and work things out, to help me feel better about us, and I just told him we were through. I told him that I didn't want a future with him and that I didn't love him any more, just to make him leave." Tears pricked her eyes. "He didn't deserve to be treated like that. I've made such a mess, Mary...I've made a mess of everything.''

''Yes, you have, but…I also know John. Anna, do you realize the way he was when you were around...the way he looked at you...how full of life he was? He practically worshipped you and Gracie. I've known him my whole life, and I don't think I'd ever seen him so completely happy. That kind of love doesn't go away just like that. If you ask me, he still loves you.''

''I...don't think so. You should have seen him the day I bumped into him at Gracie's school. He wouldn't even look at me.''

''He was hurt, Anna...he was devastated. The love of his life had broken his heart. You can't blame him for not being able to look at you. He was probably barely holding it together,'' she replied, making Anna feel even worse.

''I know. I hate myself for doing that to him, but I was so scared. I still am, but this time I'm afraid I won't be able to get him back. I miss him so much, and I know Gracie misses him, too. He gave her his number and she has talked to him a couple of times, but it's not the same as having him a part of her life every day. He was brilliant with her, and I've ruined everything.''

''So Gracie doesn't know where he is, either?''

''No, I don't think so. She said she rang him a few times, but I didn't ask her what they talked about. It felt wrong to ask. He gave his number to her, not me, and I think I need to respect that, no matter how much I want to talk to him.''

''So...it sounds like the therapy is helping?''

''Yes, I think it is. It's not easy, but Miss Logan helps me talk things through.'' Anna gave her a weak smile.

Mary smiled back, glad that Anna had finally realized that the way Paul had treated her all those years ago hadn't been her fault, and that she understood she'd made a huge mistake when she had pushed John away. But right now what had happened this evening was in the forefront of her mind, so she asked, ''What are you going to do about Paul?''

''I have no idea. I don't even know why he's here. And how does he know Green?''

''Well, they are both pieces of shit, so…'' Mary grinned, making Anna smile for the first time since they had left the party. ''Do you think he came back to finally meet Gracie?''

''I don't know, but he is not coming near her! I won't allow it! I'm not going to give him a chance to damage her, too,'' Anna responded angrily, and she was serious. He had missed his chance at being a dad, and he had caused enough trouble as it was. My god, if George knew that Paul was back, he would be on the first plane down to London to slam his pathetic face into a wall.

''Maybe it was all just a coincidence?'' Mary speculated brightly.

''I hope you are right, I really do...'' Anna replied.

But Mary couldn't have been more wrong. Just a week later, Anna would be sitting in her office, checking her notes one last time, when a knock on her door would once again change her life…this time for the worse.

BETA! :D ANNAMBATES! *** THANK YOU

so Paul hmmm? :O thank you for R&R miss-ute loves you! :D