Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter or Harry Potter related copyrights.
"Wow Evans a whole Quidditch team in one go," taunted a bold Ravenclaw sixth year. "That's got to be some sort of record."
Lily flicked her wand and the boy's trousers disappeared. She hadn't even stopped to retort.
A little further down the hallway, a Hufflepuff girl condescendingly said, "I knew you weren't good enough for him. I mean really, cheating on him in his house with his best friend? Pathetic."
Marlene got to the girl first; she muttered an incantation and the fifth year's perfect blonde hair became green and stuck up at strange angles.
These sorts of thing had become commonplace; Lily would walk down the halls to taunts and jeers. She had tried to quell the rumors and ask people to stop talking about her, but nothing worked. Luckily Madame Pomfrey had mended her broken arm so now she could just hex them; that is, if Alice or Marlene didn't get to it first. Marlene had made a game out of it to try and make Lily feel better. The first person to hex an offender got a point. Lily was in the lead by ten points.
No one quite knew why everyone had such a fascination with taunting Lily. Maybe it was because she was the Head Girl and they were jealous of her position. Perhaps it was because she was a muggle-born and they were prejudiced. Or it could have been because she hurt the star Gryffindor chaser and captain and everyone's favorite Head Boy who let them get away with almost anything as long as a. he had been caught doing it and b. no one told the Head Girl. Lily tended to think that it was the last one.
She and James hadn't really spoken since the train ride. Of course they had to communicate to work together as the Heads, but the few short sentences they said to each other didn't really count as talking.
James tried to get on with life as usual, but there was always the nagging question at the back of his mind; what about Lily? He hadn't really ended it between them, but they weren't really the same couple they were the previous year.
Still he couldn't bring himself to talk to her. He didn't want to know if she had kissed that guy she was with or if that was their first date or not. He didn't want to know if that was the only guy she had dated after she had left his house Christmas morning. He didn't want to know if she was having fun as the driver pushed his car to go untold speeds. He just didn't want to know because he didn't want it to hurt anymore than it already did.
However, Lily was getting fed up. She was fed up with the looks of pity and the jeers. Most of all she was fed up with James. He was avoiding her, and she could tell that he was still angry with her. What no one knew was that she was angry at him too. She was angry that he didn't trust her and believe her. He knew about her home life and still he didn't accept what had happened between her and Clarice that had culminated in the accident.
So Lily did what she always does when she gets fed up with a problem, she confronted it even if she didn't think it would solve anything.
"James," called Lily as he once again left class the second it was over. No matter how fast she packed up and left the room she could never seem to catch him. But this time would be different.
As she exited the classroom she saw him hurrying off and she took off after him. Putting years of running and her current anger into her sprint, she was able to finally catch him.
"I want a word," she panted as she laid a hand on his arm.
"Well maybe I don't want to talk to you," he said stubbornly as he continued walking to lunch.
"That's just too damn bad," said Lily fiercely. "You have to stop avoiding me sometime; it might as well be now."
As James shrugged off her hand and walked down the hall, he said, "I don't want to hear whatever it is you have to say."
"It's not all about you Potter you self-absorbed toerag!" Lily shouted after him.
That did it. He whirled around and marched back to where he had left Lily standing. "No, it's all about you and what you want! Did you ever think of what would happen when you went out with that guy?! How I would feel when my girlfriend went out with some other guy? Would you have even told me if you didn't break your arm in that accident?"
"I didn't have to tell you at all!" Lily interrupted him. "I could have told you that Petunia was driving and she wanted to kill me once and for all. It would have been wrong, but I could have lied to you. But I didn't! I trusted that you would understand; that you would get over it. Obviously I was wrong seeing as all you've been doing for the past week and a half is ignoring me!"
"And don't you think that you deserve that?" said James bitterly. "It's all your own doing!"
"Just try and see the bigger picture here, for just one bloody second! I basically told Clarice to go to hell that I would date whoever I wanted to date, namely you and she couldn't stop me from going to Hogwarts or doing anything else that I pleased. So she pulled out the one card I have no control over; she was going to make Daisy leave her art school. Art means the world to Daisy and making her leave that school would hurt her so much. I couldn't let that happen to my baby sister.
"So I did what Clarice told me and that was to go out with that guy. I regret it, honestly I do, but given the choice again, I wouldn't choose anything else. So there's the story again; now let's see if you can get over yourself and accept it or at least work up the nerve to break up with me properly," concluded Lily. "What'll it be Potter?"
"Did you kiss him?" uttered James quietly as he gazed at her with a fierce intensity.
"Of course not! I can't believe that you would even think that," responded Lily in disgust.
"I heard some… things about you at your birthday party last year," James admitted as he looked to the floor, no longer able to hold Lily's gaze.
Lily laughed hollowly. "Let me guess. You heard that I go through guys more quickly than an alcoholic goes through a keg?"
James nodded and looked at her in surprise.
"You thought I didn't know what they say about me behind my back?" she said, correctly interpreting his expression. "Listen to me now James, none of those guys ever meant anything more to me than having some fun and getting expensive dinners for free. Sure that sounds terrible, but I had to have some fun while I was being tortured by having to go out with such boring and egotistical guys. I dumped them so often because I couldn't stand them. There it is; another of my dirty little secrets, I'm a Gemini and my other personality is a heartless player."
And then she began to walk away as tears began to gather in her eyes, but she refused to let him see her cry. It just hurt her so much that he didn't trust her; she had trusted him with so much and the fact that he couldn't have faith in her in regards to something so insignificant by comparison hurt her very deeply.
If he had let her walk away that might have been the end of it. The rest of the year would have been tense and awkward for the two Head students. She would have tried to pretend it was all okay and that she hadn't been hurt by him; she would have greeted him just as warmly as she had right before they had started dating even though it broke her heart to do it. He would have eventually gone back to his fifteen year old self; without a reason against it, why would he avoid what gave him a sense of power and superiority?
Luckily for everyone involved, James dropped his bag where he was and ran to her.
"I'm sorry; I should have trusted you like you trusted me to tell the truth," said James hurriedly.
"Yes you should have," agreed Lily though James could tell that her anger with him was already dissolving.
"It won't happen again."
And with that James kissed her, making up for a week and a half of lost time.
"So," began James as the pair of them started to head to the Great Hall to catch the end of lunch. "How has your life been without me in it?"
"Peachy," chirped Lily. "Never been better."
"I'm just kidding," said Lily as she looked at his downtrodden expression. "If I didn't miss you then I wouldn't have ever cleared all this up between us."
"True," said James as he slung one of his arms around Lily's waist.
"Did you miss me?" asked Lily with an inquiring look.
"The whole time," James assured her.
"Even when you were totally furious at me?" she questioned further.
James pondered her question for a moment. Finally he answered, "Yeah. I've just gotten so used to talking to you between classes or doing our homework together in our study, that when that didn't happen anymore I felt as if my day wasn't complete, even when I was a bit angry."
Lily grinned and said, "I missed you walking with me to class and going to the kitchens when we lost track of time doing our essays and missed dinner. Let's not have another really big fight like this again."
"Can we still have little fights?" asked James. "Because you're still wrong about who would win if the teachers had muggle fist fights."
"I'm telling you; Slughorn would just body slam Flitwick and it would all be over!" said Lily with a grin.
"That's totally wrong," James stated. "Flitwick is much too small and nimble for Slughorn to catch. He would try a body slam and just fall on the floor. Then he wouldn't be able to get up and Flitwick would knock him out."
"He couldn't hurt a fly," protested Lily.
"I dunno he looks pretty vicious at times," joked James.
"You're still wrong," said Lily.
"You're just on Slughorn's side because you're his favorite student," James pointed out.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm Flitwick's favorite too," Lily countered. "So I don't have an ulterior motive for picking either one."
James then changed the subject, "So, something has been bothering me since my mother's party on Christmas Eve, and you didn't answer my letters over the holidays…"
"Clarice and Petunia took them all before I could get them and destroyed them," Lily informed him.
"Regardless," continued James. "How do you know Lucius Malfoy? How did he recognize you?"
"Well," started Lily. "He may have recognized me from when he went to school here; though I think he was a sixth or seventh year when we were first years."
"Or…" James supplied.
"Or, he may have remembered me from when I testified against his father in mid-December," Lily said very quickly.
"You what?!" asked James very loudly.
"Yeah, I had to make a statement when Abraxas Malfoy was being tried for torturing me because for some absurd reason they couldn't charge his for holding all of us in his basement. They needed something that was proven, and Moody heard and saw what he did to me; so they just needed me to back up Moody's testimony," explained Lily.
James sighed in frustration and ran his free hand through his hair as he looked up at the ceiling.
"How could you be so stupid?"
"Excuse me?" asked Lily as she stopped and looked at James.
"Well I didn't mean it like that; it's just that, I mean, you're already kind of brought to the attention of the Death Eaters because you're a muggleborn Head Girl, but now you've helped to put one of their supporters in Azkaban!" clarified James.
"He's not in Azkaban anymore," Lily told James. "Two days after he arrived in Azkaban he was found dead from an acute and quick-acting case of Dragon Pox found on a blanket that was brought to him by a visitor."
"I'm not surprised; I don't imagine the Malfoys are willing to let their good image be ruined. And that's what worries me; they are so ruthless that they will murder a member of their own family because he 'disgraced' the family name. Now imagine how far they will go to hunt down someone they hate for multiple reasons," said James, begging her to understand.
"James," said Lily softly as she cupped his face in her palm. "I can take care of myself."
"That's what they all say," said James as he put his hand over Lily's and brought it to his lips. "And then Lucius Malfoy finds them in a dark alley and no one sees them ever again. And you are much to pretty for me to never see you again."
Lily smiled at the compliment and at his concern for her safety.
"Don't worry about me; not only can I take care of myself, but I also have you looking out for me."
"Damn right," said James as he pulled Lily close to him and kissed her passionately.
"So I'll see you at lunch tomorrow?" said James quietly as he packed up his books.
"Tonight's the full moon then?" said Lily as she looked up from her essay.
James nodded. "Yeah, I have to head out with the guys now."
"Please be careful," said Lily as she leaned her head up for a kiss.
James kissed her quickly and then smirked the patented Marauder grin. "You say that every month and we never come back with so much as a scratch."
Lily opened her mouth to protest, but James cut her off. "Peter tripped up the stairs on our way back; he didn't get that bruise from Moony."
Lily tried to comment again, but James again beat her to it. "And Sirius ran through a thorn bush that time when he had all those little scratches all over his body."
Lily sighed in defeat. "Just come back in one piece alright?" she said quietly so that none of the nearby Gryffindors would hear them.
"Well I wasn't planning on it," joked James. "But since you insist… you know I can't resist you."
"Too right you can't," said Lily with a smirk of her own. "Do you want me to come wake you up tomorrow before lunch?"
"Nah, people might get the wrong idea if they see you coming up to see me," he said, the innuendo evident in his tone. "Bye."
Lily smiled, something that she had been doing more and more since she had begun getting to know James. She loved it. She loved how he made her feel special all the time. She didn't know what she would do without him.
That's why him going out with the Marauders on the full moons scared her so much. She didn't want to go back to being self-pitying, cold, and depressed Lily; she had lived the way life was supposed to be and she couldn't go back now. Lily knew that without James, her life could possibly go back to being just that. She also knew that it was entirely possible he could die out there.
However, no matter how shaken she was, she would never ever tell James that she didn't want him to go. She understood how important it was that he was there and she wouldn't keep him from doing what was right for anything.
"Lily, why are you so jumpy?" asked Alice later that evening as Lily jumped in her seat for the fourth time when the portrait hole opened.
"Yeah, you're really tense," added Marlene.
Lily didn't even hesitate for a second. "You know that Transfiguration essay we handed in this morning? Well, I realized afterwards that I think I confused two things, and every time the portrait hole opens I'm half-expecting McGonagall to come in to tell me that I got a T."
"I'm sure everything's going to be okay, just like always," Alice assured her.
"I hope so," said Lily with a sigh. Even though she was thinking about something totally different, Lily appreciated Alice's confidence and hoped that Alice was right that the Marauders would be okay too.
Lily tried to relax but she still remained tense; she couldn't help but think about the many things that could go wrong. She tried to go to bed when Alice and Marlene went up to the dormitory, but her mind just wouldn't stop racing. So, as was her monthly routine, she went down to the common room with her well-worn copy of The Lord of the Rings and started reading, hoping to get her mind off of the danger her friends were in.
Hours later, James and Peter stumbled into the common room, trying to support Sirius between them. He groaned and gripped his side as they tried to gently lower him onto one of the armchairs.
"What are we going to do James?" asked Peter nervously as he glanced between James and Sirius.
"I don't know," James mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair and started pacing.
Then he saw Lily asleep on the couch. He quickly ran to her side and shook her gently.
"Lily wake up, wake up, please wake up!" he begged her.
"What's wrong?" Lily asked tiredly as she stretched like a cat.
"It's Sirius; he's hurt," James said, sounding like he was about to cry.
Immediately Lily was alert. "How bad?"
"I don't know," James confessed. "But there's a lot of blood and he can't walk."
"What happened?" asked Lily as she hurried over to Sirius' side.
"Moony swiped him," answered Peter as he watched the scene from a distance.
"Sirius, Sirius," Lily called as she knelt in front of him. "Can you hear me?"
Sirius just groaned and gripped his wounded side more.
Lily looked over her shoulder at James and said, "We have to bring him up to your dormitory."
James nodded and started to move towards Sirius as if to pick him up again, but Lily got out her wand and levitated him first.
"Did you forget you were a wizard?" she asked him.
James just shrugged.
Lily quickly got Sirius up the stairs and laid him out on his bed. Then she tried to pry his hands away from his side, but she couldn't.
"James, I need you to move his hands; I need to look at his wound," said Lily.
James wordlessly did as he was told, though it hurt him to hear his friend's semi-conscious swears and cries.
As gently as she could, Lily pulled back Sirius' clothes and when she had finally exposed the wound she gasped. James looked over and instantly paled; he had to walk away so that he wouldn't retch. There was a huge gaping gash on Sirius' side; it was very open, exposing flesh and a few of Sirius' ribs.
Lily backed away as well, her hand covering her mouth.
"I can't do this," she breathed as she continued to back up until she hit the wall. "You have to bring him to Madame Pomfrey."
"We can't do that!" shouted Peter. "She'll ask why we were out there and how he got hurt. Then she'll figure out we're animagi and she'll tell the Minister and we'll all go to Azkaban!"
"Please Lily, just try. If you don't; he's going to… to… he might… die," whispered James, his voice cracking.
"I'm not a Healer; I don't know what to do," said Lily.
"You can do this," James assured her as he grabbed her shoulders. "You have to. Like Peter, said, we'll all end up in Azkaban if we bring him to Madame Pomfrey."
"I can't, I can't," she repeated as she started to sob.
"You can and you have to," James told her as he wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Please. Sirius needs you. I need you. Just try."
"Okay," she murmured as she looked at his determined face.
James released her and she walked back to Sirius. She rolled up her sleeves and got down to work. "Okay," she said with a deep breath. "So first I should clean the wound, not wait, first I put him to sleep, and then I cleanse the wound. I also have to replenish his blood; he's lost a lot of blood. Heal his ribs, then knit the muscle back together, sew the tissue, and replace the skin. But because it's a werewolf wound I can't use the standard spells. What did Madame Pomfrey say after we were hurt that time? Oh, I have to neutralize the magic first and then do that extra spell to make sure that it doesn't get infected…"
As Lily talked herself through it under her breath, James hovered around her, not sure of what to do.
Finally Lily said, "You have to back up James. I can't concentrate with you looking over my shoulder like that. Go pace over there, or better yet, go downstairs and clean up the blood in the common room."
James obeyed, because he couldn't stop moving; it was his way of coping with the stress and adrenaline.
Well over an hour later Lily had finished healing the deepest and most complicated wound she had ever encountered. Lily collapsed onto Remus' empty bed, totally exhausted.
"I did it," she whispered to James.
James sat down next to her and gazed at Sirius, whose chest was now rising and falling rhythmically as he slept peacefully.
"I'm really proud of you," said James as he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.
"I couldn't have done it if you hadn't believed in me," Lily admitted to him quietly as she looked at his tired face.
"You're amazing; you could have done it with or without my help," said James.
"Maybe I could have but I wouldn't have; I was so terrified. I've never just completely freaked out like that before," Lily uttered as she sank back further into Remus' feather pillows.
"Well I nearly lost my dinner, so it's understandable," said James with a small smile.
Lily yawned and then smiled back at him as she fought to keep her eyes open.
"Don't tell Remus about any of this," said Lily right before she finally succumbed to sleep.
James nodded and then stood up. First he looked over at Peter's sleeping form; Peter had fallen asleep soon after Lily had started healing Sirius. It was understandable since it took so much more energy for a rat to run around with a werewolf than it did for a stag or dog. Speaking of dogs, James once again shifted his gaze to his best mate, his brother.
He couldn't believe that he had come so close to losing his best friend. The adrenaline was still pulsing through his veins; even though he could see Sirius safe and sound, he was still worried. It was still all so surreal; one minute everything was fine, Moony and Padfoot were playing around as usual. Then, the next minute Moony lashed out at Padfoot, who had been taunting him, and Padfoot just couldn't evade his claw in time. He had watched as Padfoot had howled and fallen to the dusty floor of the Shrieking Shack, blood already beginning to spill out.
He had quickly led Moony upstairs before Sirius was unable to stay in animagus form any longer. While he was upstairs, Peter dragged Sirius out of the shack. Then together the two of them got Sirius up to the common room, where they found Lily.
Lily. She had just saved his best friend's life. He still couldn't believe it. He also couldn't believe that she had panicked like that. She was supposed to be the strong one; she kept her head in hard situations. She had figured out what to do when Moony was attacking her, when they were being attacked at the train station, and she even knew exactly what to do when she went out for an afternoon with his mother and when she went to a pureblood ball for the first time. It wasn't his job to remain cool and calm; he was the one that jumped to conclusions and flew into a rage. That's why they made such a great team; she calmed him down and he riled her up. So it shook him when he had to calm her down.
But, he thought as he took a calming breath, it had all turned out okay. And, he added, it felt good that Lily had depended on him. She was so independent that he sometimes felt like he was a failure as a boyfriend. Sure, she let him walk her to class, but she didn't let him carry all her books (she said she had too many to make him carry his books and hers and that she wanted to build her upper body strength anyways). She let him open doors for her, but she laughed every time he did. And of course, there was a constant battle between them of him wanting to protect her and make sure she didn't go anywhere alone, and her desire to take care of herself and have some alone time.
So knowing that she really did need him was… satisfying. It's always nice to know that the person you need needs you back.