Christine walked with Nadir as they talked of fairly useless things. She had missed the man dearly and was finding it very fun to be spending time with him without the constant weight that had previously rested on her shoulders. She had lived so many days holding back from everyone and everything simply because she was afraid to gain attachment. Now she had a life, one that she was sure would be full of joy and smiles. It was odd to suddenly have a purpose again. She was free to go wherever she chose, be anything she wanted to be, and love everything she saw. It was a whole world of possibilities Erik had opened her up to. He had saved her in more than just body. He had released her spirit as well. There was no more deadline to dread, no more worry over whether she would live to see tomorrow, no nagging feeling of regret or pain of not telling Erik she loved him. He knew, and he felt the same. She had a life ahead of her. It was both wonderful and frightening.
Nadir watched her smile wider than he had ever seen before. She spoke more openly, though she had never been one to withhold an opinion. She seemed so much happier and much more…well, alive. She looked at everything around her with marvellous appreciation. She looked like Erik; seeing only beauty in all things.
They looked in store windows as she would point out little things that he had not noticed. She would smile at every flower that bloomed in their path, beam up at each bird that flew overhead, and close her eyes softly to every breeze that teased even slightly at her hair. In some ways, he wished Erik was here to see all of this. He knew the man would kill to have his Christine look this happy, and yet she did it all on her own. She found loveliness everyway she turned.
Finally, they stopped short, Christine having found herself transfixed by something in one of the shop windows. Nadir was surprised by the suddenness of her behaviour, but patiently awaited her explanation.
'It's perfect.' She whispered, pointing to the object of her fascination.
Nadir followed her narrow finger to the window. He smiled at the object and nodded, knowing instantly what her thoughts were.
'Yes, I dare say it is.' He agreed as she went in.
They came out in no time, a sizeable box tucked reverently under her arm.
'I hope he likes it.' She told Nadir, letting a bit of her apprehension seep into her voice.
'Christine, if it's from you, I know he'll love it.' The Daroga assured her. 'Besides, he told you to buy something you liked, and you were quite drawn to it. He has no room to complain.'
'Ah, but he's Erik. He will find room.' She told him with a devilish grin.
Nadir shook his head. Erik was in deep with this one. She knew him better than he sometimes knew himself. The Daroga thought of his wife, his precious Rookheeya, long gone from this world. She had known him from every possible angle, anticipating his every move before he even made it. He had always been mesmerised by her beauty, but it was the way she saw through him that made him fall ever deeper. She could almost see his thoughts, and though she sometimes remained a mystery to him, he loved her so completely it did not matter. He worshipped her in every form.
Nadir looked down in surprise as he felt Christine's arm link through his. She gave him a sadly reassuring smile. She knew that distant gaze and faint smile all too well. He smiled sweetly at her as he realised she knew exactly who he had been thinking of. Yes, Erik was a very lucky man indeed.
'You still think about her after all these years.' Christine observed. She did not sound surprised so much as impressed.
'Everyday. I see her in everything. She smiles down at me from the sun, kisses me with the raindrops, and laughs with the wind. She has never truly left me.' He told her, feeling tears prick his eyes.
She nodded. 'I feel my father as well. Sometimes I hear his music playing to me in the night, I feel the warmth of his smile when I'm cold, and I remember his words of love when I am alone. I do not really believe in God, but I think that perhaps there is a Heaven. I feel him looking down upon me; him and my mother. I never knew her, but I still feel her comfort and love. I feel Reza's too. People may die, but they never truly leave us. They will always remain in our memories even when we think we have none. We remember their essence, not their words; their hearts, not their faces.' She told him, smiling at the air around her. For a moment, Nadir almost believed that if he tried hard enough he could feel his son's smiles and hear his laughter again. Christine had that effect on people just as Erik did with his music. But where he played like an angel, Christine seemed to be one. There was no trick, no performance, just her. She was truly a marvel. He had missed seeing her this way. He had noted it the moment he had first met her all those years ago, but now with her wings spreading, he could see it again. Erik had released her inner light and oh, did it shine.
Walking along, they came to a flower shop. Walking in, Nadir wondered how many different types of flowers there were in the world. Most he had never seen before, but there were a few he recognised. Christine was instantly drawn to the roses, petting them gently and savouring the feeling of their velvet petals on her fingertips.
There was only one other customer in the shop, and he seemed to be having troubles making a selection. The clerk was having a similar problem.
'She does not like roses, for she thinks them too ordinary, but I don't know what else to get her that signifies my love.' He fretted. The clerk was flipping through a small book in his hand, hoping for a solution to the problem.
'Try yarrow,' Christine prompted. Both men turned to look at her. She went over to a small pail that held the delicate white flowers. They looked like a small cluster of snow. 'They are supposed to signify everlasting love. You might consider pairing them with violets, which symbolise loyalty and devotion.' She suggested.
'Violet is her favourite colour, actually.' The man said, growing relieved. 'Thank you very much.'
'Of course.' Christine bowed slightly, turning back to Nadir who was toying with some forget-me-nots.
After a little while, the clerk came over to her.
'How did you know all of that about the flowers?' He asked, smiling at the beautiful woman in front of him.
'Oh, I used to memorise their meanings when I was young. I don't know all of them, but I still remember quite a few.' She explained brightly.
'Would you perhaps consider working here? I only ask because we just opened and are looking for help.' He assured her.
'T-that sounds very nice. I…' She paused, rather liking the idea. 'I think I would enjoy that, yes.' She said more firmly. It was not as if she had any other hobbies she could turn to. She did not care to think of how Erik would take the news, but at least she was not planning on going to work in a mill or something dangerous. Besides, she was good at pairing flowers and enjoyed seeing them bloom prettily.
'Wonderful! Will next week be available to you?' The clerk asked, amazed she had accepted so readily.
'That will be perfect, thank you. I'm Christine, by the way, Christine Daaé.' She introduced.
'A pleasure to meet you, Mademoiselle Daaé. I am Charles Absalom.' He told her, taking her outstretched hand. He was surprised when she shook it. 'I look forward to seeing you in the shop this coming week.'
'And I as well, Monsieur.' She smiled cheerily.
Turning back to Nadir she saw the look of impressed surprise written once more across his face. She rolled her eyes and grinned.
'You know he's not going to be happy.' Nadir observed as they left the shop.
'Oh, I don't know. He might be excited by the prospect. This way I won't be hovering around him needlessly.' She told him.
'I don't think he ever minded your hovering, but so be it.' He waved off. So long as she knew Erik may be less than enthused, it mattered little.
Erik loomed over his desk in the study, though he was not looking at his drawings or even really thinking about working. He was staring at something else. A small, black velvet box sat before him. It seemed to hold so much in its tiny clamshell form. He knew what lay inside and what it meant, but he still feared. He feared that it would fail. He feared that it would be found meaningless. He feared he would be rejected.
He barely heard the knock at his door, having missed the front door closing entirely. It was not until the soft dulcet voice of his lady love sounded that he finally came back to this world, snatching up the box before it could be spied.
'Erik,' she beamed up at him as he smiled. She had never seen him so completely contented before. 'How are you?' She asked, still somewhat concerned for his lack of awareness upon her entrance.
'Absolutely wonderful. And how are you, my dear?' He asked, enjoying the way she wrapped her arms round his torso and placed her chin on his chest to gaze up at him.
'So long as I'm with you, I am happy.' She rose up to place a quick kiss on his mildly surprised lips. He accepted it and smiled at her with watery eyes. He brought his arms around her, holding her slight form to him. He let his sensed be enraptured by the scent of her hair, the pressure of her body against his, and the way her warm breath pooled at his chest.
They stayed like this for some time, simply enjoying each other's closeness, but soon Christine grew too excited.
'I bought you something.' She teased him, pulling back in his arms a bit.
'You bought me something?' He looked at her, concernedly baffled. She hummed a nod. 'But I told you to buy something you liked.'
'I did. I liked it very much, but it would be far better suited to you. Besides, I wanted to get you something to thank you for all you have done for me.' She told him, facing his mild disapproval as she came back into the room with the box.
He looked between her and the object she had placed upon his desk. After a bit, he finally pulled the lid off the box and held in a gasp at what lay inside. Rich black fabric flared out in a wide-brimmed fedora with a simple black satin ribbon as the band. Pulling it from the box, Erik looked at it with wide eyes.
'For me?' He asked, looking to Christine uncertainly. She smiled and nodded eagerly.
Gently, he put it on and again looked to her for confirmation.
'Oh, it looks wonderful on you.' She beamed. 'Come, let me show you.' She tugged his arm and pulled him out into the hallway and up the stairs before he could protest. Placing him in front of the mirror in the hall between her room and the library, she stood to the side, never once losing her smile.
His expression darkened a bit as he looked away from his reflection. 'I'll…take your word for it.' He said guardedly. He felt her arms circle round him again as she pulled his chin over to look at her in the mirror.
'You look as handsome as always.' She told him. She watched as his reflection cringed doubtfully at her compliment.
'You're not afraid of the monster in the mirror?' He asked, looking only at her. His peripheral vision showed him more than enough of himself.
'I don't see a monster. I see a man, tall, talented, dark, and wonderful.' She told him, resting her head against his chest as she gazed at their reflection.
Boldly, he leaned forward to nestle a kiss into her hair, breathing in her rosy scent. Turning back to the reflection, he tipped his head forward a bit, finding the advantage to his newest bit of clothing. He could conceal the mask in the brim's wide shadow while still being able to see out from under it. He found himself smiling at his darling Christine's cleverness.
'I like it.' He announced with a bit of quicksilver in his tone, enjoying the mysterious qualities the hat possessed.
'I'm glad. Nadir and I thought it quite perfect for you.' She grinned up at him.
'You have very good taste, my dear.' He purred, placing another kiss on her smooth and milky forehead.
She hummed thoughtfully. 'I have something I need to tell you.' She said, her voice taking on a smaller tone. He looked at her questioningly, cocking his head to the side to see her better. 'I got a job.'
'You what?!' Erik nearly leapt back from her, looking at her as if she had suddenly turned purple.
'At a flower shop. I start next week.' She pressed on. Her arms felt heavy and empty without him.
'Why?' He demanded, his surprise turning sharper and more threatening.
'Because I want to. I think it would be fun and give me something to do.' She explained, feeling distinctly put out by his less than supportive response.
'No.' He said firmly.
'No?' She raised her eyebrows.
'That's what I said.' He told her sternly.
'Erik, you can't decide this for me.' She said, feeling a heat rise to her face.
'I can and I have. You do not need to have a job, especially one as menial as selling flowers.' He stated with a sneer.
'Oh, and what would you have me do, hmm? Walk around here aimlessly until I pester you so much you…' She stopped, she could not say it.
Erik growled in frustration, not really listening to her words or how she had choked on them. 'I would have you sing for one thing. You deserve to be up on the greatest stages the world has to offer, not busying yourself over silly blooms.' He looked up just in time to see tears spring to her eyes. They mystified him.
'Sing.' She nodded sarcastically, sobs catching in her throat. 'With what voice?!' She demanded. She stayed to watch the realisation hit him square in the face before fleeing to her room and slamming the door behind her.
Erik felt like a wretch, just standing there, listening to the faint sobs emanating from the room that now seemed miles away. He felt his ever-present shadow loom over him, preparing to swallow him whole as the impact of what he had done hit him dead in the chest. He could practically feel the cold hand of loneliness clutching at his shoulder, gripping him tight to pull him back to his darkness, his Hell, where he belonged. How dare he think he could walk in the sun with such a beauty? How could he even dream of such happiness as that which lived in her smile? No, she was an angel, and he had made her cry. He cursed himself a thousand times over for his foolishness and unthinking words. Of course she would be upset. He had tried to strip away her freedom under the vain pretence of something she could no longer have. Here he had been counting himself lucky she could speak at all, and now he expected her to sing? Fool! Cruel and unthinking idiot!
Flying into the library, he sat at his organ, not touching it. He could not bear to touch it, to hear a single note issue from it. He glared at the keys, hating them all. He cursed the music he was still flitting through his head. All of the songs he had composed for her beautiful voice to sing; worthless! He threw the staff in crumpled balls of parchment at the fire, having composed them only for her. He would never hear that ethereal sound again. He would never have that utterly perfect feeling as their voices slipped effortlessly into harmony. His heart ached and his ears burned to hear her just one more time. To listen to her silvery tones once more.
Tears flowed from his eyes as he came to accept the truth. It would never be. Her voice would forever remain grounded to speaking, caged so as not to soar. Her soul was clipped of its wings. He had brought her freedom of mind and body, but not of spirit. Not truly.
Hunching over his instrument, he wept, letting the memory of her crystalline voice ring through his ears. It was not the same. The beauty was tainted by time. She had been so perfect, ringing the highest notes with ease and bringing warmth to the coldest and darkest parts of his heart. She had been so beautiful.
God! He sat up. What was he thinking?! She was still beautiful! She was the most wonderful being he had ever known!
Rushing to his feet, he felt his stiff legs protest. A chime from the clock downstairs proved that he had been sitting there for several hours. A pang of guilt rung through him. He had left her to cry alone, thinking…God, he did not dare wonder what terrible thoughts had crossed her mind about him. He had been so foolish!
He hurried from the room, but found himself frozen when he reached her door. He knocked after finding the will to. There was no response, but he knew she was in there. Opening the door cautiously, he looked into the room now bathed in early evening darkness. She had yet to light the lamp beside her bed, but he could still see her. She was curled on her side, her back to the door; to him. Her long curls spread out on the pillow, making a wonderful fan of dark chestnut. He could tell by the rise and fall of her side that she was awake.
Coming into the room quietly, he carefully paced to her side of the bed. He watched her pull the covers over her head like a child hiding from an imaginary monster. Yes, he thought, hide from the horrible monster who hurts you, Christine. Hide from the man who does not know how to love you as you so desperately deserve.
Turning on the lamp beside her, he knelt down next to the bed, ducking his head in shame as she turned a bit away from him. He let his tears fall, feeling his despair take root in his mind.
'I am so sorry.' He uttered out. 'Please forgive me, Christine. I know I do not deserve it, but please.' He wept, still not daring to look at her. He heard the covers pull back from her face, yet he kept his eyes down. 'It's all my fault. If I had cured you sooner, none of this would have happened. You would still be able to sing and I-I'm just so sorry. Your Erik failed you.'
Christine looked at the quivering man before her. She knew it was Erik, but the way he seemed to be crumbling apart made him look like a child. She felt her hand reach out to him, brushing his masked cheek softly. He flinched at the contact, but did not move away from it.
'If you had cured me any sooner, we would still be in Persia.' She told him with a ghost of a smile. He looked up at this, watery disbelief shining in his dark eyes. 'It's not your fault, Erik. My illness was never your fault, yet you saved me from it. I should be the one asking forgiveness of you for acting so ungrateful.' She told him.
He shook his head, reaching up to cup her face in his hands. 'I shouldn't have said those things, Christine. I wasn't being fair. I'm just…I'm so afraid to lose you again. I cannot live with that. I'm glad you found something to do. I want you to be happy, Christine; that's all I want.'
Slipping out of the bed, she slid right into his arms as he rocked her back and forth. She did not allow herself to weep or sob, just letting the silent tears roll down her cheek into his comforting chest. She felt so at home with him like this. She nuzzled in deeper, hearing his breathing stutter as she did so. Even after everything, he still found it surprising she would wish to be this close.
'I love you.' She cooed as he brushed his fingers through her hair.
'And I love you, my darling Christine. I never mean to hurt you, you know that, don't you?' He asked, pulling back to see her answer. She merely stood a bit to wrap her arms round his neck and burry herself into his shoulder and collarbone. Erik nestled his cheek at her ear, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her. He would never tire of this.
They sat there for some time until he felt her give a slight shiver. Despite being mostly curled up in his embrace, the cool of the floor was still seeping into her.
'Come, my darling, you're getting cold.' He told her, adjusting to pick her up as he sat on the bed, his back to the headboard as she coiled in even tighter.
'Do…do you think that maybe, someday, my voice might come back a bit?' She asked, looking up to him hopefully.
'My love, it would be my privilege to try.' He kissed her forehead right where her hair began. She smiled a bit at his kind devotion.
Again, she settled back into his embrace, smiling softly at the sound of his heartbeat and the power of his every breath. She felt his arms, strong yet gentle as they curled around her. She felt like there was no safer place in all the world than right here.
'Christine,'
'Hmm?' She kept her eyes closed, lulled by the tender rumble of his voice as it ran through to her.
'Tomorrow, I wish to take you somewhere very special.' He told her.
She looked up at him with her large, innocent eyes. 'What's the occasion?'
'You'll have to wait and see.' He hinted, letting a bit of his mischief glint in his eyes. She returned it with a crooked grin before laying her head back onto him.
A/N: So, I just wanted to point out that I have initially planned to end this chapter when she went into her room, but you can all thank my desire to keep the word count up. Microsoft Word has saved you from a really emotional cliff-hanger.