Tony:
Today, Tony's thirty-eight and he falls asleep in front of his computer in the workshop because he's finally completed his latest project after months of work worth on it. He has been spending the last three days in there because he knew he was near completion, so he stays up with coffee and the heavy of staying awake when he's bursting with the need of sleep, his mind's still active, doesn't know what time it is, it's all work, work, work, and when it's done he just sleeps, and he sleeps like a baby.
Today, Tony's five and it's his first day of kindergarten, and Marie, his caretaker, why do I have to wear a uniform?, why can't I wear normal clothes when I go to school like the other children?, and Marie is smiling at him as she holds his hand (too tightly, and he doesn't say it hurts), telling him it's because he's special, but what she doesn't really say is because you're from a filthy rich family and you will go to prestigious schools, you little shit. Then again, Tony's smart enough, too smart, and already knows that, but children never stop asking question because they're curious, we're all curious, and it's the right thing to do says the books on children that his mother was supposed to read but never got around to.
Today, Tony's nineteen and he's long lost his virginity because boys his age with money and looks and intelligence and wit and naivety has women of all sorts throwing themselves at his feet and he knows that, believes her when she tells him she loves him, doesn't believe her when she tells him she loves him, sleeps with them all anyway, decides he can be a playboy, becomes a playboy, guards his heart, lets himself be lied to every once in a while, because. And father's already been dead, but that's fine, will stay fine as long as, believe in me, boy!, your father and I have been partners for a long, long time, says Obadiah Stane, and Tony does because he's nineteen and is naïve, and still believes that adults don't always lie to him, and Tony continues running the company in one way or another the way he thinks his father wants him to.
Today, Tony's thirty-three and the shrapnel has just entered his chest, has electromagnet built to keep him alive by a stranger, and he's in captive for three month, so he's building an arc reactor with a stranger, gets to know the stranger, Yinsen, then he's building a suit of armor just to escape, gets to lose Yinsen, gets to go home after being rescued by good, good Rhodes. He hates his company for whatever it is, stops believing in whatever he's been believing in because a missile is a threat is a power is a weapon and a kill is a kill is a kill is still a kill. So Tony announces that the company's stopping production of weapons, because. And Tony is Iron Man, and liars are always found out, and Tony can learn that even the most trusted ones can lie, and, and Tony still dreams of captivity and tries to claw out his chest in his sleep because things like that were never meant to be, because he doesn't know yet that he'll meet green eyes who will be his god and his saviour.
Today, Tony's ten, and it's Christmas and he's somewhere in between his first year of high school, too clever, boy genius, daddy's boy, but he's alone for Christmas, has been for six years because daddy's never home, so Tony buys whatever he wants to buy himself, has the money to, wonders why daddy doesn't come home even when he's crying for the attention, scrapped knees, scrapped elbows, bitter and bruised, sometimes, and it's too young to get into fights, does, doesn't learn, thinks he can take it, doesn't know the people are school are bullies, because he's too young, but he's already starting to be a lady killer anyway. Remember to flash the ladies a smile, son. The ladies are bound to swoon when we come with a charming smile.
Today, Tony's seventy-seven, and he's on his dying bed, but that's fine because he's surrounded by his lover, I'm jealous, darling, I wish I was you, because the god doesn't look a year over 30, because there's not enough information, and Loki says, I really wish I wasn't, and there's sad in his eyes but he's not crying, not right now, not yet, maybe later, definitely later, and Tony's also surrounded by his kids, and his grandchildren, and some of them are already crying because they know, I'll have you know I'll live forever, says Tony, even if it's hard for him to, and he's smug as ever, it makes most of them laugh, makes some choke with sobs then laugh, makes Loki hold on to his hand tighter and press kisses to his forehead. Lights flickering, he doesn't know what dying feels like.
Today, Tony's four, and mommy's gone, died in a car crash, but he doesn't understand the meaning of someone dying, not at his age, he's too young to understand, doesn't honestly know why he's crying, can't stop, not even when his maid explain to him gently that mommy's gone away to a far, far place called heaven, and Tony asks, where's that?, and the maid dabs away his tears with a tissue, says, it's a place where good people go to, sweetie. But Tony's still curious, is still crying because he doesn't fully understand, wants his mommy, asks daddy, where's mommy, daddy?, and even without so much as a glance, daddy looks forward, pats Tony on the back, says through the corner of his mouth, your mother's gone to heaven, son, now stop your fucking crying and man up for the press pictures. Remember to smile.
Today, Tony's twenty-eight, hasn't stopped partying for years, and doesn't want to properly grow up even though he shows his face at press conferences, says what he's told to say, smile at the camera, believes in what his company (Stane) needs him to believe in, invents what he's told to invent because he's the only proper genius around, makes a shit load of money and accomplishes a shit load of things in the way his father would have never been to, but he still doesn't want to grow up. Dance, girls, drink, girls, drugs, sometimes, girls, girls, girls. War, war, war, he doesn't know the plans running behind his back, doesn't know he's supposed to die in five years.
Today, Tony is fifteen and he's already entered the MIT, electrical engineering and computer science, of course, he wants to take after his dad. Dad because Tony's fifteen and he's way too old call him daddy now. The way he keeps his hair always at the same length, the way he grows his facial hair, the way he goes to bed at night, the way he aces everything he sits for, the way he keeps his nails cut so short it hurts, the way he still has scrapped knees and bruised knuckles and a black eye just sometimes. The way he does things the way he doesn't know why he does them.
Today, Tony is sixty-four, and he's at the hospital pacing up and down the corridors the way his son is, and Loki's shaking his head and rolling his eyes, because it's Tony's first grandkid, his son's first kid, and Loki sighs, says, like father like son, and knows that they're not allowed in the delivery room where Tony's daughter-in-law is giving birth because Tony's banned after the first time Loki gave birth and Tony was a crying, screaming, panicky mess, and his son also isn't allowed from the way he almost crashed the car into the hospital's front door from making his way here. Like father like son. But it's funny how the first grandchild looks almost exactly like grandmommy the way Tony and Loki's first child looks almost exactly like Loki because his genes have that effect, and how the first grandchild is a male the way Tony and Loki's first was a male because the Starks sure knew how to pick them.
Today, Tony's twenty, too depressed for his own good, still under the influence of alcohol, the occasional drugs, sex, lots of sex, because while he was fourteen and fifteen and sixteen, everyone else wasn't, and because that was the cool thing to do, and anything's better than thinking about achieving better results for the company, doing more for the company, smile better for the press, this and that and this and that and all Tony wants is to do what the people his age would normally do, stay young, go dancing.
Today, Tony's forty-six, and he's been married to Loki for seven years now, and they've just had their third child, and it's their anniversary, but Loki makes a joke about how all their children are male, and, that's fine because Tony says, you love me anyway, and Loki says, you're right, I do, and they're smiling and holding hands, and Tony has wrinkles at the side of his eyes, and Loki still looks the same, and they're still holding hands, and Tony doesn't know how his kids look like, and it bothers him that Loki still looks the same, and he doesn't know why he can't see his children's faces, and.
Today, Tony's thirty-five and laughing. Today, Tony's seventy-one and dozing off to the raindrops. Today, Tony's nine and reading poetry. Today, Tony's fifty-two and bringing his youngest to school. Today, Tony's forty-one and saving the world. Today, Tony's twenty-one and not celebrating his birthday. Today, today, today, Tony is, Tony is, Tony is.
Today, Tony's thirty-eight, and Tony's thirty-eight again, or Tony's a hundred and fifteen, and he's woken up from his nap because the simulation is over, and the project's a success and it works the way he wanted it to, and he can play the game again and again, but he's still thirty-eight even though he feels he's more than that and still in love with green eyes he thinks he's not good enough for.
Today, Tony's thirty-nine, and they're both in love again, and to Tony, he feels like he's given a second chance, or, and, and. Now, this is fact not fiction, for the first time in years.